Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 124. page

>>18686147
You don't have to put your heart and soul in another persons hands.

Your heart and soul should still be on your hands, but you are sharing access to it with another person.

Not wanting to depend on others for happiness doesn't mean that you can't have any social interactions. Same thing with girls and close friends.

HA. gay.

literally nothing. let her be pissed.

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>>18686120
Hold her to some standards and dont buy her anything. It is game of pull and push. Dont be afraid to stand your ground a little, she will crave you even more if yiu show her you dont need her in order to be happy.

How bad did you insult them? Begging to fight you? He should have just punched you and got it over.

fake apologize isn't a great sign and you obviously don't like them that much. It would help if you were sincerely sorry. Stay away from these people, don't make mean jokes, it'll blow over in about a month.

It's cancer, you're going to die. So long, anon.

>>18685874
(You)

>>18685864
It's HIV, you're going to die. So long, anon.

>>18685861
after a while i'm just fine. the internet is a good substitute

I'm not involuntarily lonely, I'm voluntarily solitary. I like it.

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>>18685861
Anime is literally made to cater to lonely men.
Embrace your inner weeb anon.

How long is a piece of string?

>>18685817
what

>>18685817
Not when talking about women, go for it lol. It'll be a great story when the birds fly away.

force yourself to look for the positive aspects in the shitty situations. anything positive at all, just so you have something to focus on that doesn't kick your ass like all the negative stuff does. most obvious one overall in this particular situation would be that at the end of your work day you get to leave whereas the people in your care are stuck there and don't get to flip the dementia switch off at the end of the day

If i were you I would:
A) learn basic meditation and meditate 1 full hour before and after work
B) Spend most of my free time searching for a different job
C) Call anyone one a week at least, tell him/her how i feel

I litteraly did all this things when i got this fooking job (that i NEEDED) about cleaning the shit and the whole body of a old ugly woman every fooking day, a woman who could barely move but talked shit and moan every second... Horrible. Una puta mierda de trabajo.
Good luck dude

>>18685773
Learn compassion and acceptation ? Have a good relationship with your coworkers ?

>>18685739
I'm based in UK btw

Utilise your universities services, such as the counselling service and the study support service.

>>18685843
Do they really work?

>myriad of complex mental health issues
>"I can't get therapy"

>>18685718
don't do drugs and solve all immediate problems in ur life

It is my opinion that you did not provide enough information for anybody to actually help troubleshoot your problems; I could prove this if I had a bigger selection of replies, but at the same time, one can infer from the lack of replies the same conclusion I have - if you were to rephrase all of your questions, you would be able to search them up on google and get the exact same generic answers you would here.

Here's the list: can't concentrate, hate people, prefer to be isolated, masking and intrusive thoughts, all of which can be found in the category of warning signs of mental illness. If you feel like you can confide in /adv/, then please don't just leave a post devoid of any cause and riddled with symptoms.

Also my stock answer to these is extremely ridiculous and I'm half-convinced I'm completely fucked in the head because my method of coping involves the belief that I can somehow transcend my own thinking by reflecting on it and comparing it to years of observing and trying to force myself into the perspective of others to be able to grasp the fundamental concepts of existing in a way that might be somewhat similar to trying to assimilate into a foreign culture.

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/warning-signs-of-mental-illness
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stupidity
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudophilosophy

I have been in your position and I am getting better.
My advise is to get some relatable hobbies or at least you are not ashamed of talking about, talk about interests everyone has like movies or music.
But the best thing to is stop being nervous and to stop thinking of yourself as that person who can't talk to people.
It almost like people can sense this feeling you got and become quiet because of it, I have made the chattiest people silent before just by being naturally awkward.

It is something I seem to grew out of and worked my way out of.
I can hold a decent conversation.

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>>18685616
Normal conversations i can keep. But people will always, eventually, fade away from my life. Not that i ever felt something about this, or even missed them. I just want to understand with is it with me that makes people go away.
Or if this is something real for everyone and i'm just childish for not knowing.
I see people hanging out all the time, or even talking all day... I just can't bond with people.

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>>18685751
You have to offer something in value to people. Don't respond to people. Make people respond to your own original thoughts. If you are just reacting to what other people are saying 70-100% of the time, you are just sucking energy out of that person. Contribute your own original thoughts. Doesn't matter how stupid they are.

Do you follow good sleep hygiene?

>>18685589
I've slept like shit since I was a kid. I wouldn't say that I am the most rested person on earth now, but I see improvement.
What solved it for me is:
>Good sleep hygiene
Going to bed always at the same time. Turning off any screen before bed. Turning off the blinds. Having an established routine before bed (can be reading a book, doing skincare or whatever). Eating at least 3 hours before bed. Taking a good shower before bed, use clean sheets.

>Healthy lifestyle
Eating well. Working out daily. No alcohol or drugs.

>Ambien
Ambien turned my life around. It makes me a little crazy sporadically, but I went from sleeping less than 4 hours and waking up many times during the night to sleeping 7 hours straight.

What screws up the sleep of 99% of the people who complain about bad sleep is technology. Don't mess with bright screens like your phone's or your computer's (not even your TV's) before going to sleep. And by that I mean like one hour before going to sleep you should stay away from these bright screens.

Doing this alone would cure you but it is very difficult. Try replacing that with a healthy habit such as reading. When reading, go for lighting that is too bright, but also not bad enough to damage your eyes, just about dark enough to make you feel tired.

Sleep at the same time every day. Drink tea that aids your sleep if you like tea.

Exercise a lot. This is another big one. Exercising gives you much better sleep and it also gives you all the healthy benefits of exercising. If you go for a martial art it's even more effective since they train your mind.

>>18685557
She wants the D. Pretend you are gentelman and simply invent any excuse so she can invite you home. Netflix and chill or simply ask her to dinner and after simply walk her home. Start with handholding.

As far as the sex go, you start with foreplay. Basically cuddle, touch, grope, kiss, molest and feel her up. Pretend you are teddy bear who likes to cuddle. Bring condoms unless you want to become daddy. If you want to perform, eat her pussy until she cums few times before you insert.

Good luck?

>>18685557
What >>18685659 said, but basic warning, if she ever starts to say no, don't go further, even if your balls are going to implode. Some girls are scared for their first time, so even if deep inside she really loves you, the fact that she still hasn't got the balls to have sex is a possibility. Be a gentleman, she'll be thankfull.

>>18685535
>and as that's really my only hobby is also my only strong point in conversations.
do other things
if you find yourself wanting to snowboard or something, dont second guess yourself and give it a try

>>18685550
What hobbies are there really to do? I live in Arizona so out door stuff is kind of out of the question

Make up for it now nibba the fuck are you waiting for

Cant change the past. No need to dwell.

Join some social groups or clubs on campus based on your interests.

Just be yourself, anon. Being so self conscious is counter productive

>>18685434
I don't think you should cope with it, I think you should fix it. Your entire problem is your attitude. There isn't much beyond that I can tell you that will make any difference. Change your attitude and go make some memories. You aint dead yet.

If you didn't want to risk higher insurance costs, you shouldn't have been speeding.

>>18685310
I understand that but I think pulling someone over on an open road in the middle of the night that is not driving dangerously only fast is ridiculous. But that is just my opinion i guess.

I don't know Anon I'm no lawyer but I think the fact that you told the cop that you thought you were going 80 is still just as bad. You should have never told him that because you basically admitted to breaking the law and if you do go to court the cop can just bring it up. So if I were you I would just pay the ticket and just be more aware of how fast your’re going next time.