Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1106. page

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Been with my wife 6 years. Married 2. Have a 2 and a half year old. Here's the gist;


In the beginning my wife was highly addicted to drugs. Wasn't my wife then, just girlfriend. We lived out of her parents basement. Neither one of us worked, she has a VERY generous grandmother. I had to give my wife an "ultimatum" to get her to quit. Somehow, it worked, after she slowly got herself off of Xanax, which I saw her eat 22 of. Bars. Anyway,


Fast forward a year, where her grandmother helps us get our first one bedroom apartment. I worked at Pizza Hut part-time to afford it. She did nothing but complain all the time. We argued constantly. Why we didn't just end it there? I am not sure.

One bedroom apartment burns down. Lady in the unit to the direct left to us had kitchen fire. We were left on the street for about two weeks while the land-lord got a 2 bedroom ready for us. Lived in one of those (complex is conveniently right next door) when it was ready. She got pregnant in that apartment.

We renewed the lease. Arguments ALL THE TIME. Throwing things ALL THE TIME. Back-up a minute... When we lived in the one bedrooms previously in 2014, we were arguing so bad one day that in my defense and own anger, I threw a guitar at her. In trying to block it from hitting her, she got a HUGE bruise on her arm. She called the police, and now I have, "Meancing" on my record. Better than Assault 3, I guess. Now - She got pregnant. From the time our 2.5 year old Liam was born to now.. we argued. We argued so bad that in the womb you could just tell how nervous and anxious he was. He is speech and motor planning delayed and SHE wonders why. I do not. I don't wonder why. I know why. I know it's all DIRECTLY related to the SCREAMING. I'm a REACTIONARY kind of guy. You put me in a room with someone calm and level-headed - You won't hear arguing EVER.

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Does anyone have that chart saved with various methods of suicide written with their success rate and amount of pain for the given duration?
A-asking for a friend.

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I've been in a real rough patch with work and personal issues. My therapist recommended I look into this book, but I'm skeptical about it. What are your thoughts on it, r/adv/ikings?

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Is there any hope for me? After 2 years college I began looking for a job but never got hired. I ended up depressed and gave up, began working non-tax paying job with dad. Now dad is old and doesn't want to work anymore. I don't think I can use that as previous work experience because it wasn't legal, but idk. When employers see a 25 year old with no work experience they instantly trash it I assume. Maybe I should embrace the government aid life.

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tl;dr: So anons with insomnia, how the fuck you live with that?

Its been 4 days since I had a decent sleep, last 2 days got worse. I feel tired but can't manage to reach REM. I'm feeling I'm going insane.

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>be me, psychological mess, NEET loser
>attract horrible guys who play mind games and hurt me
>'anonette, you need to learn to love yourself, work on yourself etc'
>get counselling for mental health problems
>get a job
>start working out, lose three stone
>find creative outlet, start writing and read a lot more
>start reading three books a week
>nurture happy friendships and end toxic ones
>start meditating and mindfulness
>learn to drive and start going on adventures
>take a break from dating to do the above

Fast forward a year and a half, feeling good about myself, meet a qt guy, seems nice etc
>leads me on, gaslights me, manipulates me, uses me and dumps me
>REEEEEEEEEEEE

Why am I still attracting POS guys?

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Thing is my girlfriend works 12 hour days every day and then most weekends, I see her once, maybe twice a week for a couple hours and that's it. Yesterday she said she was coming over, then didn't respond to my texts for like 4 hours, and around 11 texted me expressing her concern that I only wanted her for sex and she didn't want to come over. Thing is I invite her to do other things constantly, basically every time something comes up with work so she ends up just coming over to my apartment for a couple hours. And I feel like sex once or twice a week isn't even a lot, it feels to me like there is something else going on, especially when she's the one who always cancels our plans to go on actual dates. I basically expressed all of this to her, and she seemed to recant what she said, I'm still kind of concerned that she said it in the first place though.

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I don't want to sound like I'm bitching about my life but I think this is something I may not be able to figure out by myself, so I ask for advice.

>22 years old
>have an abusive father who doesn't give a shit
>brother inherited some of his characteristics and does the same to me what my father does
>always made fun of the way I look, as a kid, when I was a teenager and even now
>made fun of my physique, my hair, my face (I had an acne problem, it was genetic), my movements, my way of speaking
>always made fun of things I didn't know, always "tested" me with those things, I never knew the answers
as a result of all that
>I seek validation in everything I do, always ask for permission, even now that I'm 22
>I constantly look in the mirror and question the way I look, I never feel good looking, I feel fat and "deformed" in a sense, some friends tell me there's nothing wrong with me but I don't see it
>I get days when I can't stand to look at myself
>I'm very quiet and soft spoken, I don't raise my voice do avoid being heard in case I say something wrong
>I can't get myself into a relationship (even though I really want to) because I'm insecure
>first attempt at a relationship I made, I broke due to insecurities
>somehow I feel like I can't be loved and it bothers me, I know its a psychological issue more than anything, I acknowledge that but I can't find a way to help it

I have no money, all I've got saved up is going for my college fees + rent. Can't afford therapy, don't want therapy either, makes me feel "less than".
If I went, my parents would ask where I'm going anyway (I live with parents for this summer until college starts) and would not stop until I tell them the truth, they are very nosy and shit all over the concept of privacy.
Even with therapy I still would go back to square one since I'm here with them and they're constantly present in my life in one way or another.
I want to "fix" myself for college.

Any help besides therapy?

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Maybe, I shouldn't have asked but not having a gf is starting to get to me/affect me mentally.

The reason I don't have gf is because I've still been going through self-improvement:

>Been exercising and going to the gym on and off.

>Looking for a better job

>Still taking driving lessons

>Saving up money to get my own place or at least an apartment.

So what's it like to have a girlfriend ?

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I don't know what to do with my life.
I don't know whether I play it safe and live a simple copy paste life everyone tells me to do or to just follow my dreams...
I'm 19 years old and should start college this fall, the only problem is that I don't want to, I don't want to have all that debt and bs. And the stuff I want to do doesn't require a degree, yet my mother and pretty much every other adult says college or die. I can't tell her, but I really don't want to do it. When people ask what I want to do I simply say idk yet, but I'm lying I do know... I've for the longest time have really wanted to be a writer. It's the one thing I'm good at naturally, I've always loved English in school and would choose to write 10 page assignments simply because I've enjoyed it. I wrote a novel long nook in the 7th grade. I wite short horror stories in my free time and have an original idea for a book series. Yet people will tell me that I shouldn't because it doesn't guarantee money. What should I do, I really want to do this but the while world seems to tell me I'm stupid for wanting to do it. Help

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how do i deal with rejection?

I've been shot don my entire life. I just got shot down 5 different times this week trying to talk to different girls.

tonight was just the tipping point. I can't live anymore, i really think that Im an evolutionary failure and I'm about to hang myself

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>I am 18, still in high school.
>No job yet, no personal vehicle.
>Still living with parents and they still pay for my shit without anything in return.
I feel like a spoiled, immature brat while everyone around me progress into adult life. There was 18 year old men who stormed the beaches of Iwo Jima fighting in hell on earth and here I am typing from a expensive phone that my parents pay for cozy in my room and so I feel irresponsible and like a child. I am in high school but need a job in order to buy a car, move out, and then go to college (or military to save money). How can I make time for both school, a job, and free time to keep my sanity? Also any recommendations on books/reads/videos regarding maturity and the things I mentioned?

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Is it foolish to just be yourself and wait for the right girl to come along? I see so many relationships implode because they're founded on false representations. Another thing I see is people settling for empty relationships based on their trivial similarities while having no real connection to their partner. If it's not foolish, how do you suggest increasing my chances of finding that right person?

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All my life I try to be helpful towards other people, offering advice and treating people with respect.

However since getting out of high school 10 years ago, people have responded incredibly poorly to this. I've had jobs where people collude against me to get me fired when they are friends with people that are absolute jerks. People also see me being nice, and assume that I have some alterior motives, as if they can't grasp the fact that nice people exist. I've been told I "feign niceness" even after shit like giving somebody something expensive, even though everyone else is a complete asshole.

So, my question for /adv/, is should I try to fit in with the scumbags of the world so I can live a happier, less of a loner life, but lose sight of who I am. . . or do I stay true to my morals and do the right thing, but suffer for it?

I've talked to a psychatrist about it and they said I should continue to be a nice person, as the world needs as many of those as it can get. . . but I just feel like that'll lead to a deeper depression.

"Where have all the good men gone"
Well, they either killed themselves or turned into assholes like everyone else because of how people treat them.

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What do I do with my life?

Help me.
I feel like my life got fucked over before it even started.

I'm 18, living in Poland.
I'll be going to the 3rd class of something called Liceum(you go here when aged between 16 and 19 and if you want to study later on) after the summer holidays and my life is a mess.

I don't know what to do. My main idea or plan was to study Computer stuff and programming in Germany not far from where I live and later on not give a fuck since I'd be rich and have a well paying job.
Well, there are problems. Other than there not being any good jobs after finishing universities in Poland(at least that's what I'm told), there are these"
1) I'm racist as fuck. I hate Germany with a passion for the war and whenever I speak that shit language(one could say I speak rather fluently) I get pissed off. The thought of having to look at these Nazi fuckstains for 5 years makes me annoyed.
2)I don't like Computer shit. Programming for me is boring as fuck and that's what's stopping me. I don't even know what I'd like to do in life and it's depressing.
3)I have huge problems with maths. Not being able to do certain equations or other stuff just makes me angry and sad and I stopped learning it in general, even though I'll be trying to write exams on a higher level at the end of my 3rd year here.


Other than that, my life is fucked. I don't get on with my parents. A few days ago we've argued and to this day there are tensions. I'm fat. Virgin. I literally have 3 or 4 people in my life. 0 closer friends(since always practically). I'm slightly introverted even though I can hold a conversation and keep it going.

I started running and gotten into martial arts but I don't know if I'm shit at that or not(my coach says all's good, but I think he's just trying to up my motivation a bit).

Cont.