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I see meditation being brought up on here frequently. How do I start? Does it really help you at all?
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>>18500458
meditate means to think on. meditation is a practice of targeting your focus on something like a specific topic, a mantra, or just trying to focus on your breath and let thoughts pass without paying them too much mind.
>does it really help you at all
scientists have been trying to prove the benefits of meditation with hard evidence. I'm not here to tell you how to interpret research.
most practitioners of meditation do not try to cite scientific research when talking about the benefits of meditation. they say that the benefit is increased "mindfulness" which also means consciousness or awareness.
meditation does increase awareness, consciousness, mindfulness...however you want to put it. this is an inarguable fact, really, because the whole exercise is about increasing mindfulness.
If you want some kind of intro to meditation, I suggest you avoid all of the corporate and therapy crap, because modern society has moved away from learning and gone into consumerism. I would personally suggest looking into zen meditation and yoga practices, avoiding any westernized bullshit.
http://www.ashidakim.com/zenkoans/zenindex.html
http://home.primusonline.com.au/peony/112_meditations.htm
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>>18500470
Thanks anon. I'm really looking to find my inner peace and I think this is a good step for me to take.
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I do yoga but it was mainly to stretch out my body (got really stiff ankles from walking on my toes as a kid and moved on to high heels as teen/adult). Apart from being incredibly flexible now, mentally I feel like I'm stronger. Breath practices can calm you down a lot, mainly because if you know how to use your breath you can get quite a buzz going. But mentally I do things I never thought was possible as well, like nailing the crow pose. When I finally did that, I thought I could anything. Not just in yoga, but in all aspects of my life.
I can recommend Yoga with Adrienne 30 day challenge, she is rather flimsy and she keeps encouraging you to do it your own way which I believe is good.
>talking to a couple girls online
>ask for face pic
>send cause I don't think I'm even that bad
>BOTH STOPPING REPLYING
>LAST MESSAGE SEEN
Advice on how not to commit
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>>18500397
Relevant, but how attractive were these women?
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>>18500403
Fairly. Not 10s, but well above 5/6s
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>>18500397
It is called ghosting, flaking. Instead on asking for pic (they should have some in profile anyway), ask them on dates.
And dont feel down from rejection or ghosting. Happens all the time. You will get ghosted 99 times before you will meet your future wife.
>stupid frog poster
Anonymous
I'm alone. How do I meet people? 2017-07-09 06:19:12 Post No.18500391
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I'm alone. How do I meet people? 2017-07-09 06:19:12 Post No.18500391
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I'm alone. How do I meet people?
Anonymous
2017-07-09 06:19:12
Post No. 18500391
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I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.
I'm a 20 year old Norwegian male who's currently studying. I'm alone, it feels like I have nothing to do outside of my apartment other than shopping and attending classes, and I'm getting more and more frustrated with myself because I have no idea how and where to expose myself to new people. There are no activites at my campus. I have some friends, but I don't know what I could do with them to help meet new people, as we'd probably just play games together, which we usually just do over the Internet instead. Furthermore, I feel that in Norway there are barely anything going on other than private parties in the weekends, which I never really have a reason joining.
I know with myself that I should be a ble to get a girlfriend fairly easy, as I am good-looking, physically fit and confident with myself.
What I need help with is figuring out how I can be more exposed to people outside of my apartment. I've tried Tinder, but I hate judging people by their looks, especially when no one there writes anything interesting (or anything at all) in their biography. Okcupid doesn't work either, as virtually no one in Norway uses it. Also, there are very few clubs around for different hobbies, making it even harder to find people with common interests. I know I'm not the only one feeling this way, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks in /adv/ance.
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I'm horny and desperate as fuck, and even I don't find the women in OP's pic attractive.
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>>18500391
Yo Sven aren't your people generally socially autistic? Or is that the Danish?
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>>18500424
I'm Sigurd, not Sven. Sven's a dick.
Anyway, Scandinavia (Denmark, Sweden and Norway) and Finland are generally socially autistic places, yeah.
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So this girl I've been talking to for a little bit told me to fuck off yesterday because I asked her if she wanted to come over and have sex. For some background, I had got her number at work (she was a customer who left but came back to ask me for my number, but I ended up asking for hers first), we hit it off really well, we have TONS of similar interests, and we've talked about having sex before and she's sent nudes and such, and we've been on a date.
The instant I initiate asking her if she wanted to have sex last night (she had initiated it the other times because as a guy, you can't even show sexual attraction to someone without being called a fuckboy), she told me to fuck off and that it was disrespectful.
What the fuck is up with this shit?
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>>18500378
Most women don't want to be seen as a slut. Basically if you would have taken her out on a date first she probably would have had sex with you. Being so forward is considered disrespectful. Unless you already have established a proper relationship with them. Once you get her hooked you can basically say anything sexual and they will eat it up. I guess you just weren't at that point with her quite yet. You might be able to salvage this still.
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>>18500385
I did take her out on a date first. Me asking her had been a two days after the date and I asked her what she was doing that night. She said she was just playing Injustice 2 and I asked her if she was wanting to come over and play with something else.
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>>18500393
No, I mean it has to happen immediately after the date. A lot of women I have talked to also have this idea that if they fuck before the third date that they are a slut. Obviously they all have their own standards. You just asked for sex a bit too soon for her standards I guess.
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How do you move on without closure?
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the good news is, you get to decide what satisfies closure.
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Sometimes things stay with you forever and you just have to learn to live with it.
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Closure isn't complete rubbish but it isn't as much a thing as it seems either. Ultimately closure means that you were able to come to terms with something. Closure in the literal sense just doesn't always happen. And not just in case of break ups or ruined friendships, plenty of people lose either or both of their parents without ever having that goodbye or that last conversation.
There's nothing to do but to let time pass, grow used to it happening the way it did, do whatever rituals (like saying goodbye in your head) please you, allow for new things to come into your life. Peace will eventually come.
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For the guys who were in several relationships here.
I guess you can say they start out in three different ways. 1) You are interested in the girl so your pursue her until you end up in a relationship, 2) the girl is interested in you and you give the whole thing a chance or 3) the both of you have a crush on each other and you become a couple, although that doesn't happen too often.
Every relationship I had was the second kind. Am I missing out? Should I actively pursue women who I'm interested in but didn't give me any signals that they are into me? Looking back I've never been rejected before and I remember pursuing one girl back in the day and it worked out, but I haven't tried to get with a girl I am interested in ever since. Maybe I'm just afraid of rejection but I'm not the kind of guy to chase girls.
Am I missing out?
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>>18500354
Yes, you're only driving one way on a two way street. You'll never know what's in the other direction by doing this.
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>>18500354
no I don't think so
pursing women is the main cause of a.) rape and b.) rejection
you're probably better off stick to scenario 1. and 3.
3 is also quite common. sure, one person asks the other on the date, but mutual attraction is often simultaneous and obvious.
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>>18500369
>you're probably better off stick to scenario 1.
Lol why would I? So I waste my time and energy in a relationship where I'm not given as much affection as I need? Granted, I've only been in the first scenario once, but I'm not sure if it develops into a relationship with mutual affection.
>Want to see the world
>Want to start going to bars and clubs more
>Want to get out
>No friends or squad to do so with
Nothing like wanting to get out, but having no one to journey with....
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>>18500233
Just do it.
Also: meetup.com
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>>18500353
I guess. But i've never really done anything alone, i'm so scared of looking lonely or wasting my money cause I didn't enjoy it with anyone.
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>>18500353
Not him but meetup is all groups for 50+ singles and women in tech groups
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i broke the box frame for my bed a few months ago and its been wrecking my neck trying to sleep on it. i put my mattress on the floor and have been sleeping like that for about a week, and my neck is still kind of stiff but not 100% when i wake up in the morning. i was thinking or trying to just buy a new boxframe instead of a mattress and boxframe but wasnt sure if the mattress was fucked because of how long it was sitting on a broken boxframe. its also only single sided, so i cant flip it. its probably 9 years old.. should i invest in a new bed? if so, anyone know a good bed? i was looking at tempropedics, they are lik 3k for queen size.. little much
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>>18500224
Check out casper.com, and yes, if it's hurting your back or neck it's time to replace it.
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>>18500224
Get a new bed. Check Big Lots: you can get a Queen for under $500.
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>>18500277
Alternatively swap positions. Sleep in the side you normally rest your feet as it should be less used up
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Guys, I need fucking help. When I was 11 or 12 I heard about masturbating and haven't stopped since. Ive been doing it daily until now. I recently turned 18, I cam cum in seconds.I have a serious problem. Eventually Ill get a gf and it will be so embarrassing when we have sex... so
1st. How do I quit my addiction
2nd. How do I cure my prejack probelm.
pls help. I need help
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>>18500213
The first time you have sex, you won't cum. The tension will be too much, you'll be thinking about other things.
T. A guy who lost his virginity about a week ago
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>>18500213
Its going to be hell
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>>18500225
I hope its like that. But how do I cure
>>18500227
pls dont say that
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So as of Monday my girlfriend of 6 years had left me only for me to find out that she has been cheating on me with some 19 year old boy. Now I'm 23 and I've sacrificed everything for this woman she's 22. Over all the years I've dealt with her controlling me telling me I couldn't do this and that and have him or her for a friend or that I couldn't do this or that with my family. And eventually I got ok with it as long as I have her. I loved her to death and begged for her to not go. I told her I would do anything. Now keep in mind we hung out litterally every day for years! How can someone quit on you cold turkey, with no feelings of resent meant after all those years. And already I found out they are kissing in public after the day she broke up and are sleeping together after 3 days and are basically dating at this point. I pleaded to do whatever it was she needed. She just laughed in my face and let her friends roast me. Her stupid co workers pushed her or influenced her to leave me for this guy. Keep in mind he's a co worker of hers too. They clean houses for a living and I just don't see why she would leave me for that kind of garbage. He's got bad habits from what I hear, drugs, smokes. The whole nine yards. I'm a fit and active guy and I am faithful. She was my one and only for everything and my first. I loved her unconditionally and it just doesn't make sense and the worst part is that I have to see these fuckers in my town every day becuse my girlfriend lived a few streets away and he lives a few streets up from my house. So I can't escape this night mare. Every day drives me insane I can't deal with it and I want her to pay for what she's done. I have proof and video that she admited to cheating on me. It's such a hard feeling when all you did was eat sleep breath a person every day for your life and they just end up listening to idiots into leaving becuse of minor arguments we have. So my question to you is revenge or no?
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>>18500191
Of course revenge you faggot!
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Don't let that bitch walk all over you anymore dude, I'd suggest either putting yourself in a situation with both her and her new bf and proceed to explain that due to her actions someone is going to have to pay physical reparations. Because she is a woman you can't really hit her and still be seen as in the right so I would advise beating the literal shit out of him in front of her.
She'll probably leave him anyway after so problem solved?
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>>18500191
Oh my god OP, you are me except i was with her for 5 years. This all happened to me this month too. She even went for a younger guy.
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So I have basically been a shut in for about a year now because my anxiety makes it so hard to be around people. However, I was forced to go to a party a few weeks ago and some girl wouldn't stop talking to me. We talked for 6 hours straight and even went on a 2 mile walk through a massive cemetery halfway through the party. We hung out again for about 6 hours yesterday and went hiking. She said "I will never leave you" "I'll be here for you forever" "You're the best thing to happen to me in a while" "If we still get along this well in a year we should live together".
However, I have literally only known her for 2 weeks, and she is WAAAAAAAY out of my league. Should I keep talking to her even though I will inevitably disappoint her and be abandoned?
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As a person who has been a shut in for 7 years. Shes probably just a how that knows what to say to a guy to get him hooked and then drops him. From my experience people are sick, ask around about her reputation and see what people say about her, if its that shes a good kid then go for it. Otherwise if youre sensitive just work on yourself and get better. If she a hoe and you arent sensitive fuck her use her for a confidence boost and drop her.
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>>18500184
>never want to leave you
>here forever
>live together
That's cute....
>met six hours ago at party
RED FLAG
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>>18500250
Well, he did say two weeks. That's still preposterous, but less so.
OP, it is possible she means what she says. There are two likely events though:
1.) she is lying and saying what you want to hear.
2.) she is truthful and either extremely vulnerable from current or recent events, or mentally unstable.
I would say to take it in stride, but don't jump in deep yet. Find out what is making her act this way first, because it's extremely abnormal.
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I've recently started excessively sweating and barely pissing at all. I'm talking drinking 5 litres of water and just sweating it all out, when i take i piss it's because i try to and it's quite dark as well as not much.
Are my kidneys fucked?
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>>18500143
No, but you may have diabetes. Go get checked.
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Go to a doctor.
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>>18500143
OP here, i was an alcoholic for several years and recently stopped but started taking Cilatopram, which is making me think kidney damage.
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Tips for overcoming social anxieties?
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>>18500142
I wish I knew :(
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>>18500142
I stick pennies up my ass at night. During the day I give them out to people as change. I am the only person in the world who knows that the pennies the store clerks handle are my ass pennies. It makes me smile inside, and I hold on to it all day.
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Exposure. The more you expose yourself to social situations, the less anxiety you'll eventually feel.
ALSO
Remember to hang around the right people, and not people who will make you feel more anxiety.
How much of a dick am I if I back out of my friend's kid's birthday party at the last minute? His kid is turning 1, and my anxiety is flaring up really bad because I have my first week of work tomorrow.
I just don't think I can handle making a bunch of small talk with people for three hours today. Really freaking out.
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>>18500122
You're not being a dick if you genuinely can't deal with it. You're being a dick if you use social anxiety as an excuse (only you will ever know the truth I'm afraid) and you'r a coward if you don't try to overcome your anxiety.
So I don't know who you are or how you are dealing with your anxiety, generally speaking, but if you really feel like you can't go then just explain the situation to your friend and you should be 'kay.
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>>18500128
I probably wouldn't blame it on anxiety. Most people aren't aware I struggle with it sometimes. Today is just a really nerve racking day and I feel like three hours at a party full of parents is going to throw me into a spiral of major nerves. I want to stay in bed where I can feel relaxed and rested.
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>>18500122
You would be a huge dick. Don't do that. It's not all about you. You go to be there for your friends and their child.
I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if the situation were reversed.
Stop being a whiny cuck and go. BTW, you need to deal with the anxiety issues you have. See a therapist, shrink or go on meds if you have to. None of this is normal. I'm a former anxiety ridden nerd who's moved past that. So I know how you feel.
Anonymous
What do i do about this? 2017-07-09 04:42:32 Post No.18500097
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What do i do about this? 2017-07-09 04:42:32 Post No.18500097
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My child hood wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst either mainly because when i was kid I always went to my grandmas house after school and it wasn't the best of times since i always got grounded or worse punish with a belt while my brother got to play, truth is whenever i left her house is always ended up crying. Every day it was the same crap throwing my toys out an on occasion locking me in the closest for a indecent amount of time while my brother the "golden boy" got to do what he wants. When i went to school i dint have many friend because my dad made me insecure telling me that my "friends" used me just so they can color and draw together in my coloring book, as if i wasn't insecure enough, the i started pushing my only "friends" away. I got to 5 grade and that same year my grandma got stoke, so I got spent more time with my parents it was good at first but it all changed mainly because 8th and 9th grade fucked me emotionally in the ass with out lubed. In 8th grade i went on a school trip for the summer I started hanging out with people i knew but after a few days told me that they dint want me around, i cried myself to sleep that night, I had no one I was complacently alone that trip. In the 3rd semester of 9th grade I had may breakdowns mainly because of the teenage anx. 10th to -11th became more mellow even thou my brother had left for college and i knew my mom and dad were depress, dad took antidepressants mom cried each night around 3 am, I was okay i just didn't get enough sleep each night so i sleep at 6 pm that is until my mom decided to take me one night to a mental ward she almost put me there. Never the less 11th and 12th grade past i left and i went to college ,but i realize that i never truly had a "normal" relationship since my friends always insulted each other and insulted each other it was our way of telling each other that we care about each other. College passes i got myself a job and i find myself remembering all the bad memories.
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>>18500097
Okay I somehow got through this wall, but what do you need? You got past school and have a job, but do you feel like the bad memories hold you back?
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>reads first sentence
you were abused; go to therapy.
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>>18500169
This. It won't go magically.