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I'd like someone to explain a change that happened
For a long while I saw getting a job in my desired field as being the penultimate achievement, I would finally be a complete human being after that. That said, I had extreme anxiety, and it made me dodge even preparing for getting that job.
Now I just see it as one of the things you do in life, and I no longer search for that 'end all' solution to life. I also have no idea what it was that I was searching for. I'm definitely happier.
What happened?
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You settled for less, and found your happiness elsewhere. Not bad I'd say, it saves you from frustration and a lot of other shit.
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>>18700092
Why do you think this happened, though? I didn't make that choice consciously
It really feels like some part of me went 'Fuck this,' and then a vice unscrewed itself from around my chest
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How do you deal with being frustrated as fuck about yourself, when you really tried everything that came to your mind to make your life better and nothing worked? I'm tired of trying, but I really want things to get better. It's just that I'm kinda out of options.
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>>18700075
You just continue. Been there, done that, and when nothing seems to be satisfactory, all you can really do is consistently do (rather than try). So that means continuing with those healthy habits, exploring, etc.
Sorry if my advice is a little cheesy. Just keep in mind that there's also a possibility that what you've been doing is just stupid or you think change will come instantly...tell us about it and the timeframe you've tried self-improvement.
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Basically, I have grown up pretty much as a shut in with my father and grandma until 23. Only focusee in life were study and drawing/writing, plus some vidya. Was pretty satisfied about myself.
Then, father died, and had to move in with my mother who SURPRISE, had become an alcoholic, had an asshole new partner and had given birth to a child, basically my brother. Tried to live with them for four months, then fucked off away at my grandma's again.
Grandma died a year later and had to go back with her, changed five houses in some years in the process. All this time (8 years) I've tried to:
-focus on studies
-half work and half study
-just work
When I tried to only focus on studies, I fucked around a lot because my situation was stressful, so I didn't feel like studying: it's already unpleasant in itself, so I just wanted to distract myself with some mmorpg or similar shit. Same thing when I tried to do half and half.
I was happier when I only worked, because having money to get what you want is great, but at the same time I felt frustrated for not finishing my studies.
Some time ago, an old coworker of my father offered to pay for my studies, and was pretty insistent about it... I accepted. Worst mistake ever. Too much pressure and I feel even worse and worthless.
I eventually escaped my mother's house, and went to live with another person, but I can't seem to get my shit together. Tried working with him, didn't work out. Tried studying but we share a small room and I'm too used to being alone when I do that shit.
I'm now giving private lessons for some money, and I barely study.
I want to not depend anymore on the person that pays my university, but I already tried working and studying: didn't work. I'm also scared about not getting my title because it would fuck me off and force me to jump from job to job for the rest of my life, and for low wages. I don't know what the fuck I should do anymore, I've been trying for such a long time.
Anonymous
Trauma fucked up entire life 2017-09-07 06:58:55 Post No.18700022
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Trauma fucked up entire life 2017-09-07 06:58:55 Post No.18700022
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Trauma fucked up entire life
Anonymous
2017-09-07 06:58:55
Post No. 18700022
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I'm a loser. I don't have any real friends and I'm unemployed. I could work if I wanted to, but I hate the job I could have. Everybody around me has grown up, gotten a steady job, and started having kids and shit, whereas I've done practically nothing with my life except waste what potential I had on abusing drugs.
It wasn't purely a hedonistic tendency, I was running away from a serious trauma I faced in my early 20's. Ever since that trauma, things have changed immensely. For a time directly after the trauma, I was completely out of my mind (as in nearly catatonic- couldn't understand what was being said to me, have very little memory from that period of time, and couldn't speak, although I could still do some things like work as a machinist. it was weird.)
However, very slowly, over a period of 5 years, things have improved a lot. I've kicked drugs, which has NOT helped with my current issues. although I think it's a good thing overall. I'm still very depressed and unmotivated, and often think of/plan my suicide. I can't stand to work anymore, and have some very steep difficulties in effectively communicating with people, and ever steeper difficulties in trusting them. My worldview is very negative, and I'm deeply unhappy with where I am in life. I'm also pretty bitter towards people who haven't had to face hardships. It doesn't seem very fair I've had to go through this shit, while people who are objectively pieces of shit get to skate by unscathed, free to shit on whoever they wish.
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I was also treated very poorly in my catatonic state. People constantly pointed me out, ostracized me, called me horrible things, and egged me to commit suicide. My behavior was strange, but I never thought I deserved all of that, especially considering what had just happened to me. I've become really jaded and hardened because of this, and very hateful and mistrusting of people in general.
I don't know what to do. I know I should seek out therapy (once again, for the 10th time), but it has never worked before and I have no motivation left. help
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Were you betrayed, op? Sometimes it can help to place your trauma into the story that it is. You might be able to reevalute your worldview or learn something new out of the experience.
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I talked about my father about my professional plans for the future
i know it sounds fucking stupid but now my motivation's dead. I didn't want to tell him about what i wanted to do, i wanted to silently keep at it and work my way up, but he insisted so much to know, saying that he didn't understand why i didn't want to talk about it, that i told him.
I don't know why but now i feel really bad, i can feel him beginning to have expectations about me, i really regret telling him about it. I wanted to impress him with actions, not words.
I know it sounds stupid as fuck but i'm really feeling bad about this, i think it might compromise the realization of my plans, what can i do ???
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did somebody hear experienced this ? I know how ridiculous it sounds but i need help with this
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The best way to make sure your plans and dreams never happen is telling people about them.
Just do it, keep it to yourself until you achieve your goals because after you achieve something it is hard to steer you off that path.
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>>18700107
you're right and i'm aware of that, but it's too late, my father knows now... Am i fucked ? I literally feel like it was a crucial mistake even though i feel like it shouldn't make me react that bad... I was really motivated about my stuff but now i'm just anxious... Is it weird ??
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I have a moderate case of social anxiety which causes me to get really nervous, shaky and shy in certain occasions/situations.
Can anybody offer any kind of advice on how deal with this?
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Just run from actual people. It seems to work for me.
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>>18700002
>Chewing gum
Or face what is scaring you. Anxiety. The fear of nothing or something that doesn't exist.
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Too_real.jpg
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When your girlfriend is moody is it best to let her be and fix her own problems? Or is it better to try and help whatever she is going through? New girlfriend is having troubles at home but is having hard time telling me whats going on. I kmow she isnt mad at me, so I dont have to worry about our relationship. But as the boyfriend what is the best course of action to deal with a moody once and a while gf?
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>>18699935
Depends on how she reacts
When a girl has trouble talking to me about something I usually take it as not wanting to share, which is fine, but I leave an open offer of listener and straight ask if there's anything I can do to make their life easier.
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In my experience you have to try to help but if you fail or she pushes you away you can pull the but i tried if she gets angry at you over it.
It's a fine line.
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>>18699935
You treat girls with period as people with disease. You leave them be and once per hour you check on them if they are still alive and not needing something.
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I have this problem with my right eye where there are times the vision gets suddenly grows brighter, stay bright for a few seconds then slowly return to normal vision. Had experienced it thrice.
Any guess what it might be?
>t. undergrad anon focusing on studies vs eyecare
Pic related
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>>18699879
This is my normal/left eye vision
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I dunno, cancer is usually my go-to answer when /adv/ asks medical advice desu
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>>18699895
Kek
Anonymous
wannabe engineering ideas 2017-09-07 05:50:22 Post No.18699816
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wannabe engineering ideas 2017-09-07 05:50:22 Post No.18699816
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wannabe engineering ideas
Anonymous
2017-09-07 05:50:22
Post No. 18699816
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hey /adv/
i currently have a B.S. in biology, with an emphasis on fisheries management, and am employed (3 year position) doing fisheries management work, but i have to live away from my family. i love my work, and can find other work all over the country, and i accepted that i would have to move around for a while to find a good permanent job.
the problem is that given my families (young daughter and wife) current siutation, i cannot just move anywhere for a job anymore. i believe its time to find a new career path, because there are absolutely no jobs in my field where my family is now located.
it makes the most sense to me to get trained up in a field that actually employs people in my area. shithole northern appalachia area, so my choices are basically retail, law enforcement, medical, or manufacuring. i could ultimately see myself as an engineer of some type, but don't really want to go back to another college for another degree.
is it worth pursuing a technical program that offers some sort of autocad or drafting training, if my goals are to get hired and make acceptable money within a manufacturing/engineering organization? what other options do i realistically have to get qualified to build shit (not houses)?
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a lot of companies may have some sort of test using software they use (autoCAD, solidwords, etc.) to test your proficiency to hire you, so you may not necessarily need some a degree.
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Go to a tech/community college and look for a program in Engineering Graphics. Probably AS level, or even just a diploma/certificate.
Just make sure they have you doing classes on current-gen software and not ancient shit from 2003.
t. Machinist who shared classes with EngiGraph students.
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>>18699832
good to know, although i know nothing of either just interested in learning.
>>18699884
good info, thank you.
Why do I struggle to get excited for stuff?
When I go to sleep at night, I might have plenty to look forward to, but I never feel excited for the next day, I just lay there with nothing to think about.
I never get excited about food, and often I don't find much enjoyment out of it anymore.
Tomorrow I'm going to a party, but I couldn't care less.
I've made a big career jump, but I couldn't care less.
Everything feels meaningless and pointless and I can't be bothered with it.
What do
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why do all the soldiers look so brownish?
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My, Kim looks so handsome there :3
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Any electricians/apprentices here? I've been in college for two years without finding a suitable career, so I decided to not go back this year. On a whim I contacted my local IBEW and they offered to hire me as a helper. Should I take it? Anything I should know about the trade? Advice and stories welcome.
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You're gonna have more luck asking /diy/ to be honest.
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>>18699772
Take it
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>>18699772
fucking hell take the gig
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just got to San Francisco. how do I get some cialis or viagra. I do think know anyone here, and don't have a rx
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>>18699700
since you are a fag I'm sure one of the fags you hook up with will have plenty
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>>18699741
I'm not. how can I find a dealer?
Anonymous
Finally going to college 2017-09-07 04:56:17 Post No.18699636
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Finally going to college 2017-09-07 04:56:17 Post No.18699636
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I've been out of HS for 4 years and have decided to apply to college because my mom got cancer and it's a pain in the ass.
Where should I apply if I want to crush hipster girl pussy?
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>>18699636
Sorry, you'll only find hipster girls at good universities, and from the OP alone you sound like CC material
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>>18699636
>Where should I apply if I want to crush hipster girl pussy?
There are cheaper ways to get laid. College is expensive.
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>>18699655
>CC material
salutatorian in a MA highschool. Although in senior year I ran out of classes so I ended up taking CC courses.
Ivy is a stretch but I can get into just about anything else (artschools included).
>>18699660
It wouldn't be the same. I have a few scholarships left over from HS so I can go to any state school in Massachusetts free.
A girl says she's coming over to my house.
Last time I saw her was 2 years ago and we fucked.
What will happen this time?
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>>18699618
if you play your cards right you fuck
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>>18699618
Maybe she will kneel over and spawn an aline from her chest. Dude, how the hell can we predict what will happen? Are people paid to shit post with asinine questions?
Anonymous
A strain on our friendship. 2017-09-07 04:45:20 Post No.18699600
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A strain on our friendship. 2017-09-07 04:45:20 Post No.18699600
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A strain on our friendship.
Anonymous
2017-09-07 04:45:20
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A very good friend of mine pointed out that we are two people who come from very different backgrounds and she became very concerned about how we were interacting.
She was worried about how we did things so differently, mostly about how she was more emotional and I am more stern. We had a string of arguments over a bunch things I won't get into but it resulted in us not talking for awhile.
I at least know we're not on bad terms. She seems to be acting a bit distant. I don't want to talk to her unless she reaches out.
Is there something I should think about when we end up talking again? Is she in some kind of depressive state? I appreciate any help.
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>>18699600
>Is she in some kind of depressive state?
Maybe she just realized you two don't make good friends. C'est la vie, what else can you do?
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If you two are so different and it is reaching the point of arguments, perhaps you both aren't humble enough to put aside your opinions and just be chill friends. If the both of you can learn to let things go instead of chasing them in to an argument, you may be able to salvage your friendship, but it should probably remain at arm's length, for the good of both of you.
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>>18699614
She'd always profess to high heaven about how good of friends we are.
>>18699626
I'm thinking you're right but we were practically inseparable before.
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so /adv/,
im starting with uni and I need a flat. Tomorrow I'm driving into a city to look at one (made an appointment with the landlord) with my friend I want to share the flat with.
At the phone I asked there if many people were interested and she said yes, but she prefers to rent it out to students.
Its really close to uni, relatively cheap and renovates, so I guess highly sought after.
Apart from looking smooth, appearing competent, what can I do to manipulate her into renting that apartment out to me.
Help is very much appreciated.
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>>18699575
selfish self bump
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>>18699575
Of she prefers to rent it out students your already a step ahead of some people.
Try talking to her like actually have a conversation with her. Let her know your not going to get drunk and fuck her apartment up.
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>>18699575
>manipulate
Jesus Christ, are you autistic?