Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1005. page

I start feeling the same when I got into college. Just the idea of debt still scares.

Anyone that overcame this? Please...

>>18534940
:(

come to austria
college and university are free here...no kidding

>>18534627
Easy. Go to church meetings. I'm not kidding. They have lovely girls there usually. Also 3 date rule? My personal record is 45 minutes after meeting her from tinder.

>>18534627
>Where can I find a woman who does not sum up our entire relationship with sex?

>Says the guy summing up his relationship by the absence of sex.

Just date, man. If she is good for you, fucking shouldn't spoil it. Sex is just one aspect of the relationship.

>>18534637
Way to put words in my mouth. Sex is a part of a relationship but something later on when there is long term commitment and possibility of marraige.

>>18534607

I assume you are not out. Depending on his temperament he could be really mad, really scared, understand that being gay and young is not easy, or possibly a combination of those three.

I'd say you should talk face to face about this.

>>18534607
Stay away from window and sharp edges OP. You might get tempted

>18534619
I am out to him and I typo'd is for I... I won't kms I've gotten therapy

>>18534597
Seek your bf psychiatric help. A suicide is a serious thing and is neither the job of the partner to deal with nor you are qualified to do so. If you want to stick around fine, but it will be at the cost of your own mental health. You have to decide what u prioritize

You should just let him 'an hero' if he wants to, you have a right to be concerned but absolutely no right to stop him.

It's his life so why bother with him. Do you want him to suffer being alive and then externalize that towards you?

>>18534758
Weak bait

>>18534495
Look dude, if you and your friend are both grown men this shouldn't be an issue. Do you thing, let him try too, no sneaky backstrike, if she choose you over him or him over you, well she made her choice and nothing can change that. There are plenty of girls, why would you loose your time loving one that doesn't love you back ?

>>18534495
Tell her.

>>18534495
2 things. If you dont want to feel like offing yourself for the rest of your life stay away from boozed drunken calls. Second. Meet another girl op and get to know her even if its not the same. At least those feelings of axiety will cease. I promise

>>18534398

I would recommend you actually going to see your local physician and ask to have a few things checked. I would recommend looking at your Testorone levels and your thyroid. A thyroid disorder can actually affect maturing in men and generally stunt growth. After we can rule those out I'd look into your diet and see if anything you're eating creates a lot of estrogen, aka tofu and then start lifting. Being physically active will elevate T-levels naturally but it can only do so much.

Still, get set up within doctor first to rule out health issues. Then it's much easier to figure out what to do next.

>>18534398
I wouldn't mind a shota

I'm 26 and still look 18-20, people around me are getting (and acting) older and older looking but I'm barely changing

I kind of wish I had friends like me

You can't make cats affectionate. Some are and some aren't. Play with and feed him/her, get them used to being petted and held.

I once heard a TV vet say that you could increase the likelihood of a cat liking you if, when it was young, you picked it up and held it and when it struggled to be let go you kept holding onto it for just a little longer before putting it back on the ground. No idea if that's effective though.

>>18534327
It's 2 months old if it matters. My sister found it on the street or something and she's bringing it here.

>>18534332
You'll be good if you feed them some of your food every now and then and make sure to get them USED to attention, don't ignore them, play with them often. 2 months is way too young for a kitten to be separated from their mother so you might need to get a baby bottle and kitty formula if that's a thing.

CONT.

His positives are that he is genuinely a nice person, he is logical and smart when he wants to be. He is affectionate and king too. Negatives are laziness, abruptness, no manners, fat (been trying to get him to lose weight for years but he keeps stuffing his face with takeaway and elephant sized dinner portions), somewhat boring and forceful.

Now I’ve also met a guy online a few weeks ago. We get along really well, he lived across the other side of the world though and there are 2 issues with my situation with him. He is 2 years younger than me, and he is taking a gap year next year before college, therefore, I will be in my last year of uni next year ready to work in industry and he will only be starting college?
His positives are that he is so gentle, kind, pure, and virginal in the sense of personality. He is very smart and comes from a very intelligent family just like mine (unlike my boyfriends family who is divorced lower class parents with a disabled children and constant family feuds and fights for years)

My questions are:
1) How can I break up with my current boyfriend if he lives with me and my parents? He has no proper way to sustain himself without my family.
2) Should I continue talking to this person I’m talking to online? Our connection is deep, and I feel happy and excited for the first time in 5 years.
3) Am I in the wrong? Am I really stupid?
Please refrain from talking about my position in past tense like what i SHOULD have done, there’s so many things I should have done to prevent all this. Now I need to know what i SHOULD do. I can’t keep living like this every single day for years.

Thank you,
Apologies for such a long story, I’m very bad at keeping things concise.

Bump. I'd love some advice, thank you

First of all, acknowledge that your online friend is a source of escapism from your current situation. There is not going to be any realistic future between the two of you, for logistical reasons, and even if your did break up with your boyfriend, you may find that your feelings for your online friend have changed because there is no longer the imperative to escape from your stressful living situation. The notion that your 'connection is deep' is pretty farcical.

It's obvious you are not happy, but also you seem slightly entitled. Your boyfriend has a lot of problems which you have very kindly helped resolve but for whatever reason, your solutions have simply to led him into a situation where he's dependent on you. Ask yourself why between the both of you, you didn't try to maintain his independence? The fact you find yourself out of your depth being so heavily relied upon is completely understandable, but by the sounds of things, you're the architect of your predicament.

Overall it sounds like you really can't escape this situation without talking to your boyfriend about how unhappy you are in your relationship. Make it known that you are struggling with the amount of responsibility you feel for his life, and desire more reciprocation. Work out ways for him to be more independent.

Please someone tell me if I should bother seeing a doctor or just live healthier

Alcohol is poison
Drink moderately

>>18534172
Stop drinking desu

>>18534138
depends on how severe your anxiety is. how bad is it day to day?

>>18534138
Fish oil

>>18534143
It's just the physical symptoms of it that really suck. I quite often get lightheaded and nauseas multiple times a day. I usually wake up with it too, especially if i have to get up early

I'm making this thread because I'm not talking to a really good friend of mine, and I don't know why. He didn't do anything wrong, and is upset I'm not talking to him. I'd be devastated if I lost him, but I'm still actively destroying the relationship. Maybe a part of me wants to either be happy, or kill myself. To sit in the middle is worse, so I'd rather ruin things and push myself to the easier side, since I can't be happy.

>>18533826
Sounds to me you got some serious deep-rooted issues from your childhood that seem to be lingering on. I'd unironically suggest you to go see a psychologist/psyciatrist. Don't worry, they don't put you into looney bin, you could just benefit from some cognitive therapy here that they are trained to perform.

Go see a therapist. You've got hedgehog's dilemma and other issues, fix them now before you get really fucked up

>>18533825
If you answer, be prepared for your email to get bombarded with spam.

File: 1484283750288.jpg (35KB, 512x512px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 512x512px

>>18533841
b-but he just wants help with the business deal gone bad...

>>18533825
Have you been living in a cave? Google "Nigerian general scam"

You don't.

>>18533797
why not? i mean, there were no problems it was very sudden, he just said it got less exciting and he doesnt feel the same way, i want to change that

You can't and until you accept that you'll continue hurting yourself. Move on, it's the best way out of this. I know how it must hurt but seriously move on, for your own sake

eh, my friend made a good point by saying a person's facebook is their highlight reel. They'll never post the bad stuff in their lives so of course it feels like shit when all you see is positive shit. Understand that they go through shit as well and probably dont deal with it as well as you do. One of my friends is mad successful with women and I'm not, but currently he's dating a coke whore and bullshitting his life away, meanwhile I found out today that I'm closer to graduation than I thought cause I always assumed I failed my classes and never checked grades. Life is what you make it man, I know its hard but try to stay off facebook because that shit is a absolute motivation killer, I'm still trying to get rid of mine for good myself. You got this ya bastard.

>>18533767
People only put their greatest achievements and happy moments on social media. They don't leave status updates such as "fuck I don't know how to scrape together this month's rent" or "I think this bitch is cheating on me". You never know what happens behind the scenes, OP.

I've had some outwardly quite happy people tell me they are crippled with anxiety about various (mostly really normie) worries.

By not comparing your life with others.
By using it as motivation to work hard and surpass them.
By figuring out your own values and not judging your worth by what others tell you matter.
By realizing that the your ego is only an illusion and it's the only thing that's stopping you from enjoying life.

Seriously, there are many ways to overcome these feelings. But they require a certain perspective that can't be developed simply by reading a post on /adv/. If you really want to overcome this feeling you'll need some explanations that are a lot more detailed and you'll need to be active about it. I'll give you some book recommendations in case you actually want to put effort into it.

Mastery by Robert Greene. The most practical one, teaches you how to find your "calling" and how to achieve great things in it without being distracted by petty issues like "tfw no gf".
The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson. Self explanatory, teaches you how to stop agonizing over pointless shit like that and gives you some good life advice.
Happiness by Matthieu Ricard. Meditation and Buddhism. Teaches you how to deal with thoughts like that, using some eastern concepts and meditation.
Out of your mind by Allan Watts. This isn't a book it's a collection of lectures, you can find it as an audiobook, I don't know if it exist in written form too, but either way I'd recommend listening to it, not reading it, Allan Watts is an amazing speaker. This one doesn't really teach you anything, its mostly eastern philosophy, but it explains and does a very good job at convincing you how pointless obsessing over .... well anything is. Especially things like "my life is so bad, while everyone has it so good".

It's not hard. Then again, I'm not a degenerate, I don't know any degenerates and I don't go where degenerates go.

>>18533690
That's some pol tier advice, I like it. But where do you go though

>>18533696
>>18533682
Don't take advice from /pol/, people like pic related know shit about relationships and life in general, they look everything through the lens of a deeply religious 80-year-old redneck.

If you want to meet "good people", just go spend time outside doing something productive. Take classes or find a job. Try to get yourself into a social circle over there which suits you.