The god damn heat felt like it was gonna kill me. Walking around in the summer in the Common Wealth might as well be a fucking death sentence.
"Meet me over at Saugus Ironworks in a week. I'll send you a message on a special frequency to your PIP-Boy. Oh and it goes without saying but no wasting any of that sweet honey of yours okay?" I can still see that eye of hers glowing at me.
"God damn it KL-E-O. First you molest me, tell me to not beat off, disappear and tell me to go to that hell hole? Well even if I'm walking into a trap I got something for that." I aimed my heavy rocket launcher towards the Ironworks. "Hell of a set up for a trap though... "
I wiped the sweat out of my eyes and fanned myself trudging on through the wasteland with the sounds of far off stingwings buzzing. When I finally made it up the street leading to the entrance it was a massacre of body parts, loot and laser burns. KL-E-O's handy work judging by the incinerated mulch used to write a big crude 'K' on the door.
I stepped inside and it's fucking worse than outside! I took out my 10mm looking around for her.
"KL-E-O you better not be fucking dead..." I walked around carefully, trying to listen out for anything. Just when I made it to I think the last room I hear the sound of a flamer going off. I peaked around the corner and there stood KL-E-O, blasting her arm with the flamer before hammering her limb in a crude fix up.
"Well looks like I missed a party." KL-E-O turned to me before dipping her arm in a ripped open vat of water with a loud sharp hiss of steam.
"It's good that you did miss the fun I walked in on. Ran into a nasty piece of power armor and a rather interesting weapon. But both have been taken care of. And they'll both be yours if you're a good boy." She told me while looking over her arm. Looking at her she wasn't that banged up. A couple of bullet dents at worst except for her arm. -
>>653002 "So I'm finally here. Whats up? Are we doing this?" I put my weapons down and tried to hike myself up.
"Observation: Eager I see. Good good~. I want you to get nice and excited for the main event. Of course a lot of you human men might not even be able to stand up to the challenge. Not to say I don't think you can, baby."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Well she wasn't lying. Getting told you'll literally be fucking a scary monster isn't something that'd tickle a lot of guys. But damn it KL-E-O... You actually got me wanting to do this.
"Here. I put out something to get your energy reserves up." She motioned to a close by table with a couple of Nuka Colas, some rum and even some cooked meats. "Need to stay hydrated right?"
"Fuck me to say no to a cold drink and some food." I sank my teeth into the juicy cuts of meat and drank it down with a rum and cola mix. "So... Mmh. When do I-?"
"After a quick rest of course. I know trip all the way up here from Goodneighbor can be tiring. So sit back relax and think about a l l l the money me and you will be making." KL-E-O mused to herself, spinning her claws around. "Statement: I've switched over my power source and go over some calculations. I'll be back online in about twenty minutes. Get ready handsome..." And with that KL-E-O hunched over as her eye powered down to a dull red.
Well... Shit. So I'm here by myself for a while. I wish i had a book or something. Damn this food is good. I kept ripping into my meal and drinking away the last of my drinks to the last drop. With all that gone I just waited around counting the seconds.
"A- ow..." My stomach started hurt a bit but it faded away a couple seconds later. "Ate to damn fast." I felt another rumble but it wasn't from...
The rumble changed into a low but VERY audible and pretty pissed off sounding growl.-
>>653128 "KL-E-O... Wake the fuck up already..." If she brought me here she must have a way or already got that thing secured and far away from me until I have to do what I need to. "Think of the money... Think of the money..."
I put my gun back down, sat back down on the chair, closed my eyes and just tried to focus on whats gonna happen.
A big deathclaw, bound and gagged, tail lifted up showing off a big soft drooling cunt. Big green puffy lips surrounded in rough looking but smooth scales, a bright pink/red insides. The walls twitching and threatening to suck me in Above that is a tight looking hole between big a meaty scalie ass and a pair of big haunches. A loud growl from her turns her warm pussy into a perfect piece of vibrating toy...
Another growl came from somewhere in the building, sending a small taste of what could happen down to my cock straining in my pants. I pulled my zipper down and tried to get comfortable with my cock out but it wasn't helping much. My balls felt kinda snug too. Were my pants always this tight?
I reached into my zipper hole and cupped a feel of one.
"The fuck?" I unbuttoned my pants and three them off and felt them again. Yup, they're bigger then when I fucking got here. I looked at the empty bottles and remains of food I ate and glare at KL-E-O while she 'rested' "You could have told me you fucking drugged me at least. I'd take it plus we're partners for fucks sake."
I looked at my cock and gave it a squeeze, feeling it was definitely a little thicker than when I fucked KL-E-O. Thinking back on it sent a shiver through my balls and cause a bit of cum to dribble out.-
>>653256 "Wait if you have something that make my balls and cock bigger why isn't she selling that??"
"Because baby..." KL-E-O spoke up, scaring the fuck out of me. "Studying what can affect the human body has been a hobby of mine for a looooong time. And I'd have every woman in the common wealth on my back upset for giving them that to deal with. And every man, even you, would make me your new target and hunt me down for it. And it seems the stuff I gave did its job right down to the letter. Feel good?"
I stroked my new size a few times, feeling the extra size in my hands. "Perfect. Wonder how I compare to a deathclaw." I chuckled.
"Analyzing: By what information could be gathered from male deathclaws during breeding sessions, you're in the 'above average' ball park. Although by human standards you're in the higher stadium of measurement. Don't feel bad baby, I don't mind being your fuck buddy with our little bitch." KL-E-O chuckled. "Ready for a good time?"
"As ready as I'll ever be. Besides all I have on my mind for the past couple of minutes is pounding into some lucky deathclaw. Feels like my hearts about to burst with excitement."
"Hmm. Might be the extra bit of psycho and jet I slipped..."
"What was that?"
"Nothing baby. Let's go meet our happy little factory. She sounds eager to see you." KL-E-O walked off and I followed behind her. We went through a couple of rooms and the whole time I had my eyes on KL-E-O's ass, thinking back to the first day of fucking her. The hot grease running down my cock, the way she squeezed and filling her with every drop from my balls...-
>>653475 "We're here~" We made it to a big smashed in hole in the wall with a stair case leading down to a lit area, and a chained up deathclaw.
"God damn KL-E-O. You actually caught one." I told her as we walked down the stairs. The more we walked down the better look I was able to look at her. Her skin wasn't green like I imagined but a sort of lighter shade of black with yellow markings across her body. Her glaring red eyes were pinned to the two of us, trying to roar at us but she could only growl while some sort of impromptu muzzle lock was wrapped around her flesh ripping maw with only a few teeth poking out, and on top of her head ware an impressive pair of horns bigger and thicker then my arms and legs put together. Getting closer I can see she's on her back, legs and arms chained up and locked into four directions along with her tail was locked down with claws of some sorts that were welded down to the meal floor as well as bolted. And all around her were syringes full of KL-E-O knows what.
"Statement: This little cutie is a 'budding monarch'. She's a monarch but she's developed to the perfect age for impregnation. As you can see she's a pretty fierce piece of man made yet all natural, disturbed mother nature." I flinched back when the deathclaw suddenly jerked, trying to break her restraints. "I haven't been using the week I've been gone without reason. Hunting her down and bringing her in was the easy part." KL-E-O's claw opened up and fired a syringe like the ones on the ground. "Had to outfit an arm with a syranger and learn how to make those handy little things. I see why you humans like them so much. Killed every raider around here and brought her to this hot little heaven."
The budding monarch relaxed but still moved, still showing some fight in her.
>>653486 "And by the looks of it I picked a good one. Can't wait to get her can't you?" KL-E-O chuckled while motioning towards my bouncing cum dripping cock with her other claw. "Come on over. I got more to show and tell~"
I walked over to where KL-E-O was standing while me and the monarch stared each other down before she moved her sights onto my swinging cock. Just as I took a step to KL-E-O she shot me with a syringe in the arm
"OW! What the hell?!"
"Didn't want to miss the vein. Chances were 0.000000002%.Trust me you'll thank me for shooting you later."
"What did you drug me with now?" I yanked the thing out and threw it one the ground.
"Come on over here and you'll understand soon enough."
I walked over to where she was, between the monarch's open legs, and got a great view of the monsters body. Her underbelly is a yellowish tan and looked much much smoother than her normal hide. I took a risk and touched it and it was smoother than her hide but still tough with lean bullet blocking muscles. She jerked and looked at me as I touched her, growling like she was telling me to fuck off. I heard KL-E-O walk up behind me but I barely paid attention as I examined her. Her body was a little smaller than the one or two deathclaws I've fought but she could tower over me easily by maybe five or so feet. Most of her fat and muscle went to her legs and thighs, probably for more power as she ran. She looked pretty bottom heavy really. I ran my palm down her belly until I reached her pussy.
"Getting comfortable with the new girl?" KL-E-O said while she wrapped her arms around me and gripped my cock, slowly stroking me. The familiar grip from a week ago along with a waiting what felt like a god damn long time for this to finally happen. The heat of the iron works plus the stimulation had me dripping sweat which helped KL-E-O stroke me.
(Gonna call it a night for now, need to sleep. Will be finished tomorrow, I swear!)
>>653804 I finally made contact with the monarchs pussy, getting a mix between a roar and surprised yelp. Her lips are really big and felt really puffy and squishy with juice.
"Through the week I gave her some very t e n d e r attention. A quick blood sample says she's in pristine condition for breeding. Never been touche, like a pure maiden. And you get to be her first. How's that make you feel stud~"
I didn't answer as I played with the monster's pussy, spreading her lips apart to see her bright pink insides. The lining inside was completely different from what I thought it would be and better than I imagined. I could see a mix of bumps that pulsated a bright red that shinned with the light hanging over us. And it felt hot. The kind that put KL-E-O's to shame. It was more natural. Wet, twitching flesh built for taking in an alpha males cum down to the last drop.
"Getting intimate aren't you?"KL-E-O teased as one claw moved to my cock head, rubbing the end into her smooth ball like palm.
I leaned forward with KL-E-O still holding onto me and take a deep breath through my nose and I felt my eyes water and every vein in my cock strain to the surface and feeling the built up cum swirl around in my balls ready to come out. She smell liked a monster: Rough, unforgiving and demanding my attention. By this point I didn't noticed I was dripping sweat all over and dripping it down onto the monarch.
"Looks like my 'medication' is working very well. Feeling really Frisky aren't you? Like you just want to mount, ride and pound her poor defenseless womb until you fill it to the brim. Even if she doesn't get pregnant you can always try again... And again... And Again..."
KL-E-O's claw hands stroked faster and harder, a stream of pre cum dripping down my shaft, onto her claws and down onto either the ground or monarchs tail. I was about to get a first hand experience of what her insides felt like when KL-E-O stopped touching me and pushed me away.-
>>655912 I was about to ask why she stopped me when I watched her remove her chassy and pull something and closed it.
"Keep your eyes on the two of us for a bit~" KL-E-O said what sounded like a moan. "Oh and no cumming b a b y..."
I watched her lean down, showing off her ass (did it get bigger?) as she used what I can see now is a dildo and started fucking the young monarch. The drugged beast let out a deep howl through her muzzle as KL-E-O slow fucked her with it, smearing the poor piece of plastic in thick juicy strands of cum. The monarch moved its hips, trying to fuck back in the restraints but KL-E-O had all control over what was going on. The monarch turned her eyes to me, than my cock, trying to tell me to do exactly what I wanted to do to her.
KL-E-O turned around to look at me next, pulling the dildo out of our sex toy and wagging at me, teasing me with the image of my cock meeting the same fate. She fully turned around and the front crotch plate and attached the dildo to the center, turning it into a full on strap on. She aimed herself and slammed herself as deep as she could into the beast in one go. My blood boiled at the teasing performance in front of me: A sensually voiced female assaultron with a strap on fucking a massive barely fully matured drugged killing machine. A killing machine that I want to fuck and breed. MY killing machine.
"Oh? Growing? That's good. The 'medication' I used had a... Significant amount of deathclaw hormones in it. Makes you stronger, more aggressive in and out of bed but your sweat will pretty much get any one of these lovely bitches ready to fuck anything. Only works for 39 hours but a good trade off if you ask me. Thought you can't even hear me right now, can you?"
>>655922 I growled at her again. "Just let me fuck her already!" I yelled as she kept fucking her, the wet slap of skin on metal. After a few more thrusts she sank all in and slowly pulled out, leaving a trail of monarch cum from her fake cock to the monsters cunny.
She stepped back to give me a view her swollen cunt lips, detach and put her crotch plate back on. With a wave of her arm, like she was presenting a prize, she ushered me to my prize.
"Well than... Have all the fun you want, partner."
I stepped back to the monarch as she coo'ed at me, trying to raise her hips at me. I dropped to my knees and took a giant lick all the way from the base of hits tiny asshole up to the very top of her throbbing thumb sized clit. The strong, fowl tasting liquid drowned out any doubts in the back of my head to zero as I licked, kissed and sucked on her puffy lips. I spread her open as far as I can and dug my tongue as deep as it could inside, feeling the exotic texture and lining of this bitch of a beast with my tongue while drinking every drop of cum I can.
"Analysis: Partners cock is 134% engorged beyond previous data. Sperm production has also gone beyond previous calculations. Chances of breeding increased to 98.545% and above." KL-E-O observed her partner mount the monarch and shoved his cock balls deep into her, causing the deathclaw to rip its muzzle apart and let out a reverberating scream that egged him on. His thrusts are harsh, fast and brutal, obliterating and kind of resistance and bottoming out of the beast. With her X-Ray scanner she observed his cock bash at the right ring of its cervix, threatening to break the last line of defense. He dug in, grinding his head against it receiving ear ripping roars but every cry, roar and shriek from her meant he was going to go harder than before. The look in his eye, the sense of breeding, any sense of humanity was gone and replaced with primal thoughts of pleasure and satisfaction.-
He got on top of her attempting to pin her legs down with his own and got in a squating position and continued fucking her as violently as he could.
'The extra bit of psycho really seems to be kicking in' KL-E-O mused to herself.
She watched his balls slap the monsters cunt, thinking about the mutated seed that filled her up. The feeling of him fucking her bent over and that satisfying feeling of hot cum spraying her insides...
"Later." She told herself.
Her partner was having the time of his life and the end result will be them mass producing eggs to sell and making enough money to put Diamond City to shame.
She watched his monster cock fuck the beast, seeing inside that he was close to fucking her uterus and by how hard he was smacking into her he's gonna seed her well. Loud yells from him and howls of pleasure and pain from the deathclaw echoed in the felicity. The deathclaw suddenly sprayed the floor with a staggering amount of cum that seemed like enough to fill up a bathtub easily by what KL-E-O could analyzed. KL-E-O zoomed in with her X-Ray and could see he actually broke through her cervix, fucking her womb directly now with short hard thrusts. The look in his eye wasn't a human or even like a deathclaw he was to far gone to think anymore and simply acted. Pulling all the way out, giving KL-E-O a view of the deathclaws properly fucked open cunt, he slammed in one last time before finally doing the deed and cumming inside the monster bitch. KL-E-O could visibly see his balls twitching, trying to get rid of a weeks worth of stored seed and by her calculations succeeding to without fail.
He didn't move as he came in his bitch, his eyes as white as paint while the deathclaw took whatever punishment he could give her and just enjoying the pleasure though its drugged haze. KL-E-O took another look inside and could see that her ovum are being assaulted by his sperm.
>>656121 "Well looks like we might have a winner now." KL-E-O mussed. "It'll take a few days to see what happens for sure but things seem to be working in our favor." She could see he was still thrusting into her poor beast bitch. Tapping her chest plate to get his attention, he turned to look at her pushing against the opposite wall to him and the monarch, her lower plates removed and her special crafted pussy exposed. He watched her wave her metallic ass at him sensually.
"Now that you got a taste of a bitch... I think its time you remember how a real woman feels, partner."
>End part 3
next part will be nothing but assaultron ass/pussy getting nailed. Sorry for the focus on deathclaw but I promised it and wanted to delver so I'll calm down with the deathclaw for a bit and I'll be doing more Protag/assaultron in the next part(s)
Got ideas? Let me know! Want to give a story a shot? Go for it! And of course if you want to draw and or share porn of some assaultron booty, pretty please do!
...Annnd if I made any spelling mistakes I'm sorry :(
>>656147 Well, while this is almost certainly splitting hairs I didn't really care for the hentai cliché of cervix penetration at the end, and even with the genetic weirdness in Fallout I'm struggling to suppress my disbelief that a human-deathclaw hybrid could be even remotely viable. But maybe that's just me thinking too hard about it.
Also, stick to one perspective at a time. The shift near the end was rather jarring.
>>656117 >I dropped to my knees and took a giant lick all the way from the base of hits tiny asshole up to the very top of her throbbing thumb sized clit. The strong, fowl tasting liquid drowned out any doubts in the back of my head to zero as I licked, kissed and sucked on her puffy lips. I spread her open as far as I can and dug my tongue as deep as it could inside, feeling the exotic texture and lining of this bitch of a beast with my tongue while drinking every drop of cum I can
Ok? Sounded like the dude was ready for hammer time and suddenly Lizard licking
>>658025 Weeeell, i was thinking of KLEO having a pair of silicone tits underneath her chest-plates? Perhaps even some with fuckable nipples, just like in this picture: >>651811 Though, not everyone likes it, so it's fine if she wouldn't have this kind of tits. lol
>>656147 As much as I like our poor protag getting fucked with by KA-E-O, I gotta say that it's getting a bit boring for me that she's not likely to see any comeuppance. Not that I really want to see our main protag taking her down a notch as it's too funny that he keeps getting screwed with, but some other party taking her down a peg would be fun.
Got a couple ideas, but I'm not sure what yer willing to write.
>>662094 Sorry it took so long to get back to you. had to figure out my exact idea. Anyways...
Muscled herm is selling ammo to KLEO cus she's the sort who uses melee and KLE0 manages to piss her off with some comment about KLE0 herself being more woman than some muscled dickgirl who solves her problems by hitting them. So the herm decides that ought to pay for her snark by hopping the counter, pinning KLE0 to it and prying off her armor plates to give her a good dicking. After the deed is done, KLE0 ends up pushing her luck in making another insult towards the herm who ends up riding KLE0's face with her lady bits and gives KLE0's body a new coat of paint because herms having sympathetic orgasms being their junk is the best idea.
Also I only wrote KLE0's name like half a dozen times there and I already hate typing it.
The one thing I did want to add to that idea is that I think that the denizens of Goodneighbor, or at least just Hancock, ought to comment on KL-E-0's predicament. Especially since Hancock does get some interesting dialogue if you happen to off the insurance salesman who approaches you when you first enter.
KL-E-O looked at her partner as he shambled towards her, eyeing her plateless pussy as it dripped synthetic lubricant. His cock was already back to life, violently twitching while its slathered in a mixture of deathclaw and mutated human cum. She mused if she had olfactory sensors that the room would have quite the scent wafting around.
"That's it big fella. Leave the bitch behind for now. I can't exactly let you forget what a woman can do, now can I?" KL-E-O moved a claw down to her pussy and spread her lips, exposing her synthetic insides.
With absolutely no class, her partner walked up behind her, not even grabbing her hips and tried to thrust into her, sliding and slipping against her wet lips but failing to penetrate her, thought she does enjoy the feeling. An idea came to mind.
:"Hold up a minute partner." She pushed him away but he snarled at her, She ignored it and walked over to the passed out deathclaw and wiped the cum that spilled out of her into her claw. Just as she did she felt him come behind her, grab her hips and tried thrusting again but failed, this time sliding against her ass. KL-E-O activated her armor removal systems and off came a layer of her leg armor exposing a gel like kevlar layer of rubber. She applied the wasted cum onto her skin like it was lotion while her partner was seemingly fine with rubbing his cum soaked cock onto her ass. When she was finished KL-E-O moved forward so he'd miss but still "trapped" in his grip.
Still out of it he tried thrust and as soon as he slid between her thighs KL-E-O trapped his cock between them, just enough so he can move but can't escape. He pulled back and groaned from the new sensation and strong pressure wrapping around his cock after so many failed attempts. -
>>672503 "Now you may be hopped up on drugs I gave you... And you want to fuck anything with a hot hole but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy something a bit out there b a b y" KL-E-O leaned back as he fucked her thighs, sliding between them using the cum on his cock and the cum she applied herself. Every time he slid forward he'd brush up against one of specially designed clit's: one at the very top of her vulva or the one being crushed between his cock as it dragged its shaft all across the sensitive nub.
"Mmmmmmmm~.... That's it..." She moaned. "Can't just have all the fun to yourself now..." She watched his cock pop out from between her messy cum soaked thighs then almost disappear when he pulled back. When he popped back into view she reached down and grabbed the shaft with both claws, stroking him off as he fucked her thighs. Her sensors picked up his already high heart beat pick up speed as he fucked on, drunk on the mating medicine she injected him with.
His thrusts are almost as violent and forceful as when he was on top of the monarch, even feeling his cum swollen balls slap against her. The stimulation between the both of them was starting to get to KL-E-O as she thought about what she wanted to do next after this bit of fun was over.
She played with his cock between her claws as he tried fucking even through the harsh vice she had him in. One claw stroked along his shaft while the other played with the large plum colored end, smearing it in the spurts of cum that'd escape. KL-E-O analyzed his meat, wishing she could feel the pulsating flesh in her claws, smell the heavy musk it was giving off.
Even after coming no to long ago he was more than ready to breed again. Speaking of the two of them are right in front of the passed out budding deathclaw. Looking at her cunt KL-E-O imagined her own being fucked so savagely and left gaping with his seed spilling out.
>>672504 "Baby, you sure know how to make a woman feel special..." She teased him as he kept going, growing thicker between her legs and claws. "Unlike this ungrateful slut. How about you treat her like she deserves to be treated: A toy for your weapon to destroy~?" KL-E-O loosened her thighs grip and let him fuck her fake fleshy skin like sub armor and use her in place claws to stroke off at the same time. His movements got harder and faster and with one growl that would send chills down the spine of anything else but a deathclaw he buried his cock to the hilt and let out another torrent of cum, and with KL-E-O's help it was directed all over the deathclaw monarch's lower belly and joining the previously released spunk that oozed out of her pussy.
This time he fell back to the floor, spent and his cock leaning to one side yet attempting to harden again.
"Enthusiasm can get you quite far ahead in life. I'm not letting you get any rest quite yet b a b y~" KL-E-O took a quick look into her memory banks and activating a special sub program and device inside her that she knew would make things a bit interesting for him and her.
"...KL-E...O....?" Surprised she looked down at her partner, eyes returned to normal, if half lazy, drenched in sweat and as hazy as a day after rain was normal.
"Good to see you've come back to me. Things are just about to get fun for me and you...~"
(Next section will come out tomorrow and it'll be worth the wait, promise!)
>>671003 Not at the moment but I'm making a tumblr and considering posting the stories there, I'll have to go back to the images of parts 1 and 2 and retype them but hey, why not right? That'll be a project for another day (that will happen)
>>671269 I get ya, futa is not everyones favorite thing. I'll post that part on tumblr and just link it. That cool?
>>672520 I've though about it and your right. Expect a bit more from him in the next part :)
>>672548 Yeah, you're right. I was mostly focused on getting at least something out for everyone to read and for that I'm sorry. I'll make sure there are fewer grammar and punctuation mistakes in the next piece. And thank you for telling me, I appreciate learning where I messed up! :)
“Wh-oh god… What… Are you talking about?” He rubbed his eyes, trying to clear his vision.
KL-E-O walked over to her partner as he slowly came back to his senses. When he finished rubbing his eyes clear, he looked up, still on his back, to KL-E-O standing over him.
“After watching you have fun with our little toy, I think it’s time I had some fun with you.” KL-E-O spread her legs and lowered herself until the tip was caught between her pussy lips. “I may not be a human, but I’m still a woman who knows what she wants…” She lowered her hips down, slowly swallowing his cock as her lubricated walls applied more pressure as she worked him inside.
“Ah! K-KL-E-O, hold on a s-AH!” He clutched his eyes shut as the heat from something inside her increased, and extra pressure is applied to the tip as it slithered through, still overly sensitive.
KL-E-O wasted all the time she could to tease him as she stopped halfway, adjusting pressure all around his shaft along with producing more lubricant from her reserves, sometimes decreasing its temperature for an extra sudden moment of stimulation.
KL-E-O couldn’t help but feel amused. The man who had no trouble fucking a deathclaw, restrained and drugged out but still restrained, without a second thought and here he is now: putty below her while she enjoyed herself using his cock as a toy. He twitched in place with every move up and down, and he wasn’t even fully inside. Deciding to see what would happen she dropped her metallic hips down, taking his cock completely to the hilt.
“Time for some extra love and care b a b y~” She coo’ed to her partner.
“KL-E-O!!” He shouted. “You’ve already drained my balls twice in the last, I think, hour back to back! Let me rest!!”
“Mmmh mmh,” She wagged a single claw digit back and forth. “I drained you once. The last one was all you, giving it to our little deathclaw bitch.”
“I doubt you’d resist the chance…” She gave off a half hearted chuckle of sorts. “Now it's my turn… Activating sub program: Extractor.”
“Wha-” Was all he could get out when he felt something engulfed the tip of his cock while it’s deep inside KL-E-O. A warm slime filled the device and when it tightened around just below the tip of his cock he screamed as a series of intense vibrations assaulted the sensitive skin soon followed by him releasing a torrent of cum filled the squishy device in question to capacity, but instead of leaking it simply expanded until he was finished. And before he could catch a break the device continued vibrating at high speeds, over stimulating his cock as hs much as possible, draining any cum it could.
KL-E-O enjoyed her own little pleasures as her own crafted device tickled the special “nerves” that lined the walls of her pussy. After a few more seconds she stopped the device feeling what she felt to be an adequate amount of cum for now. Thanks to the device the sperm should live for a few days, long enough to store in case anything happens to him. After a few minutes of enjoying the sensation KL-E-O was about to get up when her partner pushed her down, knocking her onto her back while he moved on top of her. She saw the look in his eyes, the same look she’d see in a customer when they’d seen she skipped them out on a couple of caps: blood red pissed.
“What’s wrong partner?” She teased.
“Partner? Partner?! You’ve basically used me without letting me really enjoy myself here!! And you know what?!” He growled.
“What’s that partner? Want to dissolve our agreement?” She really didn’t want to have to attack and she doubt he can do any damage with his own to fists.
>>674721 “NOT. AT. ALL.” Admittedly KL-E-O was surprised at this. Before she could ask why she felt him pull part of his thick cock out with the device still firmly attached. The movement sent a charge through KL-E-O that felt good. TOO good.
“I’ve been selfish! As a partner I should be making sure you’re taken care of, right?!” He slammed into her cunny, her walls firmly wrapped around him and the device holding his cock head, another powerful pleasureful surge rattling thought her systems “Since I’ve came so many times I think its your turn to have a big one!” He placed the palms of his hands beside her head and began fucking her as hard as he could, the remaining psycho in his system giving him the charge he needed to keep going.
“C-come on sweetie,” Did she just stutter? “No need to worry about-”
“Enough excuses! I’m gonna rape you until you either cum and loose your circuit wired mind or I pass out!” With that said he pounded into her, working past her tight walls, feeling them suck around his shaft whenever he pulled out and the soft squish of what’s holding onto the end of his cock that held his cum.
KL-E-O didn’t say anything, knowing nothing she said would help but also because she was to taken by the sudden change in attitude… And liking it. Her systems tried to handle the assault on her nerves but she failed to understand it and simply enjoyed the feeling of being taken and fucked almost ans savagely and brutally as the deathclaw was. With most of her lower body outer armor gone he didn’t have anything getting in the way as he fucked her insides. She could even feel the thumping of his heavy balls slap her ass every so often. The position was akin to the one he was doing to the deathclaw: Her on her back, lower body raised, exposing her cunny while he’s on top and pounding as hard and deeply as he could.
>>674725 “MMMMH!” KL-E-O felt a delicate surge not long into the fucking. Something inside her caused her to control the walls of her pussy to squeeze and release rapidly while the machine inside her vibrated around his tip again. Even though the stimulation on his part he kept going, helping KL-E-O ride her own climax.
“S-s-s…” Was all she could manage through the intense wave of sensations that hit her programming. The lubricant she’d been using was overflowing and spilling out to the floor below her but she barely paid it any mind. Not long after hitting her end did she hear her partner howl once again as he let loose another hot load of freshly produced cum into the device that clamped around his tip one again. KL-E-O would swear she could feel the cum as it rushed through his shaft and inside her.
Both of them laid on the ground, trying to regain composure. He’s panting while she’s trying to understand what just happened to her systems and maybe have that happen again next time.
“If… We’re partners...Its 50/50. No fucking deal otherwise…” He panted while he’s on top of her.
KL-E-O considered firing a warning laser by his head but decided not to. “Deal. Partner. And next time, warn a lady when you’re suddenly going to take charge. Women are the spontaneous ones.”
“As if you didn’t enjoy it!” He barked back at her. KL-E-O readied her dart gun. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” She aimed at the deathclaw monarch and fired a few rounds just as it was stirring awake.
“I… Did in fact enjoy it. And I suppose I won’t mind you doing it again. But you try any of this in in public and honey… You’d better bump my share of the profits to 80%.” Through the rather awkward position she offered her claw to him. “Deal?” Equally awkward he reached and shook her claw.
>>681106 No, it still sounds ridiculous most of the time. The device in KLEO's pussy also felt too weird for me to fap to as well.
Additionally, you really need to work on your verb tenses, among other things I already told you about earlier.
Get a beta reader, and stop rushing. The thread will not disappear if you take your time to edit your work. In fact, with your permission I can post an edited version of your work thus far myself to show what it ought to look like.
>>681528 By all means please do! I'm always open to see where I've messed up and see how I could have changed something for the better. And please, point out mistakes and show me what could have changed, And if its not to much to ask, could you show where I messed up through the story?
Also sorry for using that word, I was debating weather or not I should have used it, which I see now I shouldn't have.
>>682649 It would be easier for me to point out specific lines if it was in a Pastebin, but I can attempt to note the more egregious examples here.
> her pressure is applied to the tip as it slithered through, still overly sensitive.
Tense shift. Big no-no jumping from past to present and back. I told you about this before in part 3, but it seems like you forgot about that warning.
Having a device dangling around inside KLEO's pussy just sounds ridiculous. Giving her a "womb" to act as a sperm retention tank would have been exponentially more believable and makes for fewer logistical issues. If I were you, when I get this up on your tumblr I'd correct that part ASAP.
>Enough excuses! I’m gonna rape you until you either cum and loose your circuit wired mind or I pass out!
"Lose", not "loose". This is one of those easily caught errors that only gets through when you're careless. Don't be careless, and those typos will never see the light of day.
This word should only be spoken by characters with the maturity of a 13 year old boy. In literally other context, it sounds horribly out of place.
Don't put spaces in between words or use tildes. It disrupts the flow of writing - allow the reader to imagine how her voice sounds, you don't need to try and render it yourself in text.
>Both of them laid on the ground, trying to regain composure. He’s panting while she’s trying to understand what just happened to her systems and maybe have that happen again next time.
More verb tense issues. See my last comment on that.
The thing is, your writing really does have potential, but it's constantly held back because of all the silly mistakes that two minutes' worth of checking could catch. It's lazy, and it it brings the overall quality crashing down.
Don't think that because you haven't posted for.a few hours.means the thread will vanish. Really take the time to make sure the end result is nothing short of flawless- a fic that takes a while might end up being worth the wait, but a rushed fic will always be bad.
(And to.follow up about the device thing, her own pussy could easily do the vibrating and squeezing directly instead if that's what you were after. Seriously, the image of a dangling piece of equipment just latching onto his dick was so hard for me to believe it just killed my boner.
I can't do any full rewriting here due to practical difficulties, but when I can I'll make a.pastebin of it that includes my corrections, and possibly a few stylistic changes which I feel would ultimately be for the best.
>>682963 >>682968 Thank you, thank you so much for going to the trouble of going through and showing me where I made my mistakes. And I'll make sure to study and practice on tense shift so I don't make those kind of mistakes again (I'm embarrassed that it happened but happy you're telling me so I can work on it).
>Giving her a "womb" to act as a sperm retention tank would have been exponentially more believable and makes for fewer logistical issues. If I were you, when I get this up on your tumblr I'd correct that part ASAP.
I'll make sure to take that device part out and actually have the tank. It makes a lot more sense.
For verb tense could you give a demonstration how it could be different?
Again, everything you're doing, I appreciate it. And thank you for saying my writing has potential, it means a lot.
>>683036 Generally, past tense is best for fics like this where you're writing it as an omniscient narrator. Writing the action in present tense works better when one of the characters is narrating it as it actually happens. Either way, consistency is the key.
The only way I can describe is how it could be different is just having the errors fixed. Using "was" instead of "is", that sort of thing.
>>683304 Oh okay I think I understand. I'll practice on my past tense and take my time like you've told me. I really want to make my stories into something special. Make them the best that I can make them be and just hope others will enjoy them (and I know I'll never please everyone, nor will I ever try to. There's no point to doing that).
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