Post pasta

Pasta

Hahahaha, listen up. I would provoke you both, literally provoke you to strike me. I would suffer a weak blow then I would detonate like an IED on a marine. You both don't understand, MMA teaches so much more than how to defend one's self. It teaches a person how to kill effectively. I also live in AZ, shit stain. I do know the gun laws, and I do know how long it would take you pussies to grab your gun and take off the safety and then aim it to shoot me. I would grab your good hand and break it, then I would break your opposite arm. Hahahaha, once provoked, you will be worthless. Literally you won't remember you had a gun when you wake up on a gurney on the way to the Mayo Clinic or the hospital down on Osborne. AZ is full of mexicans with illegal guns and rednecks with walmart guns and old people with internet guns. Good luck you bitch, I hope I find you one day so I may grab your gf's pussy with my mouth and then laugh as I fuck her while you lay unconscious next to the orgasm.

>>159287694
I want to hug chovy and smell her deeply.
I bet she smells salty and fishy

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Eh? You've never seen a pair of breasts before? And you're HOW old?! J-Jeez! Ahahahah! W-Well, we'd better fix that, then! Just close your eyes for a sec, aaaaaaand...
HERE! BOING!
AHAHAHAHA! You should have seen the look on your face! J-Jeez, anon! Th-Th-They're just sacks of fat on my chest, ya know! Do they really excite you THAT much?! G-Get a look at this, then! See how they bounce up and down! Jiggle jiggle! I-I bet you want to squeeze them too, don't you, Mr. Perverted Virginboy Anon?! G-Go right ahead! Honk these honkin' honkers as much as you want! Take your time! Heck, s-suck on 'em too! I know you really want to~! Just be careful; my nipples are super hard right now! C-Can't imagine whyyyy...~! I-I-I-I-I-I bet you wanna see my vagina too! You pervert! W-W-Well, we're already this far! Might as well! I'm not wearing p-panties anyway!
S-S-S-So, what do you think? ...Well, I guess that ragin' 'rection in your pants answers THAT question! HAHAHAHA! Y-Y-You're such a pathetic pervert, anon! I-I-I-I bet it's the first one you've seen since you slid out of your mother's! L-L-Look how wet it is, too! Jeezums fucking Crikes, it's so fucking wet! I-I've never seen it this wet before! Look what you're doing to me, you freaking pervert! Y-You sure know how to make a girl all hot and bothered! Oh, my! Christ-on-a-stick! You'd better take some responsibility for this! A-After all, when it's this wet, it's much easier to cram something up there! And Im leaking like a freaking sieve here! You'd better p-p-plug it up RIGHT NOW!!

Can anyone beat Uchiha Madara?
And I'm not talking about Edo Tensei Uchiha Madara. No, I'm not talking about Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara. Hell, I'm not talking about Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara either. I'm talking about Kono Yo no Kyūseishu Futarime no Rikudō Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan (which is capable of Enton Amaterasu, Izanagi, Izanami and the Tsyukuyomi Genjutsu), his two original Rinnegan (which grant him Chikushōdō, Shuradō, Tendō, Ningendō, Jigokudō, Gakidō, Gedō, Banshō Ten'in, Chibaku Tensei, Shinra Tensei, Tengai Shinsei and Banbutsu Sōzō) and a third Tomoe Rinnegan on his forehead, capable of using Katon, Fūton, Raiton, Doton, Suiton, Mokuton, Ranton, Inton, Yōton and even Onmyōton Jutsu, equipped with his Gunbai(capable of using Uchihagaeshi) and a Shakujō because he is a master in kenjutsu and taijutsu, a perfect Susano'o (that can use Yasaka no Magatama ), control of both the Juubi and the Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju's DNA and face implanted on his chest, his four Rinbo Hengoku Clones guarding him and nine Gudōdama floating behind him AFTER he absorbed Senjutsu from the First Hokage, entered Rikudō Senjutsu Mode, cast Mugen Tsukuyomi on everybody and used Shin: Jukai Kōtan so he can use their Chakra while they are under Genjutsu.

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>>159287662
No

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I'm going to tell you why you don't want a tsundere girlfriend IRL.
So I met the girl in question a year ago, she had a slight interest in
anime so we got talking. When we became good friends, she would
occasionally come round and watch the new Harsh episodes with me, ect.
As we got closer she developed the typical tsundere personality (she
would tease me and stuff, but when I said I liked her hair or
something, she'd go all quiet and shy.) I liked her but never acted on
it until one day we were walking to my place and she starts the usual
teasing and play fighting, then we end up really close and I'm like,
"Fuck it, I'll go for it." and try to kiss her. To my surprise, she
kisses back, and then uses both hands to lightly punch my chest
saying, "That wasn't fair". Then she and I have another kiss.
SO FAR, SO GOOD.
So back at my place, I open a crate of beer and we watch some TV,
assorted anime episodes, ect. All the time getting steadily drunker.
After some beers she gets really playful and starts teasing me. Like
I'd say, "I don't care", then she'd lean in for a kiss and pull away
and go, "Really?". She ends up staying the night, but we don't have
sex.
THEN
I wake up in the morning and she's gone, she just left a note saying
she'd call me. So I go downstairs and switch the TV on, but something
was wrong. That's what my gut was telling me. The game on TV between
two schools of the same prefecture had nothing to do with me but
somehow I just felt like cheering for the losing team...

...which was when I somehow had a feeling that Haruhi was about to make trouble.

>>159287662
What I find most pathetic is the little psuedo-intellectual nerd fuckboys who think they're smart and totally perceptive for pointing out design flaws in stupid gaudy armour. Like you want to make it clear to all your peers "I'm the smart one. I am the intellectual one. I understand combat and value logic above all" and you go on nitpicking this stupid shit that is made purely for the fuck of it. The overwhelming irony of it all is that you're the biggest motherfucking retard alive for actually believing you're the only one who can perceive the strategic faults of these designs and thinking other people aren't as perceptive as you. Here's a reality check you fucking cock wrangler. Everyone is aware of these things. They don't spend hours whining about it on image boards and forums and fucking youtube comment sections. Not because they're stupid, uneducated or unperceptive. It's because it's insignificant shit, and they aren't insecure enough to go whine about trivial realism bullshit in cheap, flashy entertainment. You're like the fuckwit that whines about people not knowing how bad fast food is for them because they continue to eat it. They know it's bad. They don't give a shit. You whiny little faggot.

A boy falls in love with a girl.

Unable to confess, he is gifted by a deus ex machina with the girl's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.

But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day's confessions to the girl, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the girl he called is not the same girl he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn't exist in this universe at all. She is the girl's alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC's own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.

Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.

>fried egg on pasta
????

>>159287745
fapped

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>159288596
what anime is this?

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>>159287662
I'm going to post a burger instead and you can't stop me.

>>159287662
pasta

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I like Konata because she is a otaku like me, except she has friends. Oh god I wish I had friends too ;_;

Konata also likes videogames and she is kawaii. And there are lesbians in the show and that's good because I like lesbians and I will never have a girlfriend. Why am I such a loser?!

Konata is like my dreamgirl she has a :3 face I love that. She is also nice why aren't real girls nice!? I got dumped a lot of times but I love konata and she wouldn't dump me because she's so nice and cool.

We would play videogames all day and watch Naruto and other cool animes on TV, and I would have sex with her because sex is so good. I wish I could have sex with a girl.