>"Come inside Mister, the beer is cold and you can choose

>>151716477
>is this a trap?

Nope, seems legit.

Nice anime discussion, I love that scene.

Mods?

>>151716477
I don't like Pink Floyd.
Do you have The Eagles or Boston?

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Sure, let's drift.
>cue eurobeat

The beer is warm and you can't hear the music over the sound of your own screaming.

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>>151716762

>>151716477
>beer
I will have a smoothie, thanks.

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>>151716762

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>>151716762

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we need to fight back

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>>151716477
>cold piss
nice try loli

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>Pink Floyd
Would much rather die.

>The Dark Side Of The Moon
No. Just no.
Next you'll be asking me to listen to Swans' To Be Kind, I know your game bitch.

>>151716477

D-do you have anime soundtracks?

>>151717245
I don't get it is there something wrong with Swans?

>>151717621
No, but I really don't like To Be Kind.

>beer and shitty 70s rock
>not water and glorious 80s

You can't tempt me, foul beast.

You all will be headpatted. Mark my words.

HEADPATTED.

DDOOOOOMM!!

>>151716477
>is this a trap?
Looks like a legit girl (female)

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>>151718520

That's exactly what they want.

>>151719139

Inb4 thread deleted.

>>151718520
They feed on headpats and cuddles

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>>151720141

Forgot the pick Kek

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>>151716477

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>>151716477
No, this is a trap.

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>>151716982

>>151717970
>80's
>good in ANY capacity
You're joking right?

>>151716477
uber is great

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>>151716982
>Idols loli

>the music was reggaeton before I got in.

>>151716477
I fucking hate drinking alcohol myself and Pink Floyd is not my favorite music. Fuck off you little slut.

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Will 2017 be a better year for lolis?
http://www.strawpoll.me/11999197

>>151716477
>beer
I only drink when it is unavoidable so this is a bad trap.

>>151725858
Dont worry anon lolis dont like faggots like you anyways. Kek

>>151718520
I lost both hands because of headpatting.

>>151726343
spoken like a true underage fag

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>>151718520
Pat us all
pat us all

>>151717970
>water
>good in ANY capacity
You're joking right?

That's great, can you play some anime and videogame soundtracks? And do you have coffee? I hate beer.

>>151726394
>forced into headpat slavery
>shoulders, elbows and wrists are turned to dust >fingers permanently fused into a loli head outline
>skin creases all rubbed away from fine and soft loli hairs
>throw into the street, used and useless while they giggled

Loli packs are nothing to joke about.

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Follow the little girl.

>>151726604
>>throw into the street, used and useless while they giggled
Too bad they figured out that without limbs you fit into giant teddy bear well.

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BE GONE FROM HERE, FOUL DEMONS.

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>>151726782
Shit just got real

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>>151726782
heh, nice pepper. But watch this

>>151716477
>is this a trap?
Of course not, why would you think that?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with lolis, yesterday they invited me to their lovely tea party and I got some Rainbow albums.
Come on, hop in.
It will be fun, onii-sa- oopsie, I mean, OP. Trust me, nano desu~

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>>151726782
[ANGRY LOLI NOISES]

There should be some anti-loli captcha, like second world war facts.

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>>151726869
There's something suspicious about this post, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
You sure it's safe?

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>>151727225
>There's something suspicious about this post
There's not.
Now get in the fucking car, anon.

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>>151716762

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[Mechanical death machine sound whirls up]

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>>151727330
O-ok. But you'd better have some King Crimson though, or I'm leaving.

I-I can create artifical patting device, please let me out.

>>151716477
A quote inside a quote. Fucking insane!

>>151727520
>mocking giggling

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Gentlemen... a machine to stop metal ge- I mean lolis.

A patting machine. Originally designed to pat baby bottoms, it can be retrofitted and angled to give head pats from a safe distance.

Don't look up the source
It gets more terrifying.

>>151727710
Can it be tweaked into slapping machine?

>>151727802
Yes Since a pat is literally an angled slap.

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>>151727710
Y-you mean there can be... infinite heapats?

Considering this is a child and you are likely a grown man, it's not a very good one

>>151727710
Slap beats generator

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>>151727879
>grown man

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>>151727710
>source
I dunno how to feel about this

>>151727944
Don't look up the source
No really there are worse machines out there and all involve children. Like a needle in the shape of a swordfish to make kids happy.

>>151727710
This can actually make our streets safe.
#OniiSanLifesMatters

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>>151727710

> "Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force"

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>>151728021
>Problem giving birth? We will spin the child out.
I think I'm going to patent a loli containment field now seeing how if I ever get questioned why I could simply just inform them that the Centrifuge birthing machine exists.

>>151727330
>
No not a chance... if i want to be tragically and unintentionally abducted to persue an exciting and horizon broadening employment oportunity as an underground exclusive recreational entertainment facilitator then being abducted in...sorry excuse me get into voluntarily.. a circa 1996 W210 Mercedes S class wouldn't provide plausible deniability that it was a hotel or airport pick up(they'd have newish models) and as it appears to lack the double glazing or long wheel base of an S600 L can't even pretend have been kidnapped by the yakuze!

Pick me up behind the shops i dont want my friends to see

Music-Dealer by Santana

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We could make a fortune. But how would lolis make money in order to pay for this?

>>151728202
Two options:
1) You pay it and live at home
2) You don't pay and live in pattinghole

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>>151727430
>
Away y.. yo...you see this is the long term 27 years later consequence of keeping baby quiet so you can get a blessed 4 and a half hours of sleep for once!

Whisky in babies bottle: not even once...

How lolies can overpower fully grown man?

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>>151728701
With ease.

>>151716477
I dont like beer. It tastes gross. No thanks. If you got some milk or dr. pepper, I'd be down.

>>151728701
Numbers and ambush tactics

>>151728701
injected muscle relaxant and rohypnol.

Ahem.. ble bleu blerglr huauork snorkk petcheww splat. oh ffs not on the carpet there's like blood and black stuff and all sorts in your snot you siff bastard!


Oh it's to help reduce friction burns from carpet? My bad, you clever lennie

>>151728701
Well When I use to be a lifeguard at a swimming pool. I actually got swarmed by 5 bored lolis. They can actually take down a man with ease. Two lolis grab and hold on to your legs to prevent you from running away while another pushes you or trips you from behind. When they took me down they all started dancing in a circle. Sorry for the blog post but lolis appear to have pack hunter intelligence like Raptors,Lions and early hunter gather prehistoric man.

>>151728747
can she even fire that gun?
>>151728753
I did karate. I can easily take out multiple lolies.

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>>151726853

You are like a little baby

watch this

>>151729060
A haunting tale. Just think, if he was properly armed with a green pepper how different his life would be.

>>151728842

No worries ninja text guy, keep at it fair sure sooner than you expect you'll be linking all those tacked on random words into a cohesive picture without even having to break your stroke:'D

>>151726573
https://youtu.be/TlCRecmVpkM?t=43s

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>>151716762
>The beer is warm
fucking europeans

>>151728842
>lolis appear to have pack hunter intelligence

I have never been more scared of little girls

>>151729281
>amerifat thinks his lemonade is beer
>amerifat doesn't know that you drink shitty alcohol cold to numb the taste.

>>151716477
>beer
Dropped.
Not only it is disgusting, but alcohol lowers testosterone levels and increases estrogen production.
Men who drink really should consider suicide.

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>>151729218
Are you having a stroke?

>>151729381
>Europoors believe how they do it is best
Cute

>>151729278
>Gmod
NativeAmericanChanting.wav

>>151729456
You must be fun at parties

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>>151729693
>anon going to parties

>>151729693
Epic normalfags meme.

>going to party

Where do you think you are?

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>>151727879
If you only knew the dangers.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI8afkIxk90

All you need to know about lolis can be found in this video from Doom 3.
>Incredible strength
>Super powers
>Pack hunter mentality.

>>151716477
I don't like beer and I can listen to music on my own but the cumming inside part sounds good

>>151717776
your gay

>>151728842
I know what you mean. I live in a third world country and one time I went to a turistic spot, it was my last day there and had only some spare change left, so I decided to buy some candy from one of the local girls that were there, before I realized I was surrounded by five or so little girls holding baskets full of candies and I couldn't move.

>>151730481
Did they rob you?

>>151730544
Basically yes, as I said I only had some spare change left but had to use it all to buy candies from them. It was about one dollar though

>>151730481
Lucky to be alive anon

>>151716477
What is the source?

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>>151724880

I am teaching in Japanese elementary and middle schools in April. How do I protect myself from these JS and JCs?

>lol Pink Floyd sucks right guise? The Dark Side Of The Moon is garbage rite, fuck all those "BORN IN LE WRONG GENERATION" kids, xD. Do I fit in yet?

>>151731671
>Being this hipster
Pink Floyd is shitty stoner music.

>>151716477
We had this thread every day

>>151731671
More like I'd rather listen to The Wall

>>151731728
>hipster
I don't think you're using that word correctly.

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>>151731671
you'll never fit in if you're on 4chan anon.
For such, that is life

>>151731780
The very fact you believe that makes you a hipster.
>Look at how alternative I am!
Fuck off.

>>151731836
>Pink Floyd
>alternative

>>151731836
Stop projecting any time.

>>151731916
It used to be alternative in the 70's. Thy were shat on for years, before getting largely vindicated by history.

>>151717970
>beer
>good in ANY capacity
You're joking right?

Did you guys know that lolis have hairless little cunnies. You could probably lick one without getting any hair in your mouth.

Not sure why you would do that, but just FYI.

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>>151732243

>>151716477
Adult men are being adviced to stay in their homes and walk straight home from their jobs and if they see any suspicious groups of children, call the proper authorities.
It is also recommended for their daughters to pick them up and walk them home from work to keep them safe from predators.
Stay safe anons

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Pink Floyd? If you put this on instead, we have a deal.

>VN about a group of onii-chans trying to survive in a world taken over by lolis
>they scavenge the earth for Rock CDs and Beer, which are used as currency in the underground
>vans of lolis patrol the world, capturing men and forcing them to work as headpat slaves, pastry chefs, or mining puffy
>when male virgin slaves reach their 30th birthday, they are taken to the empress loli, a 13000-year-old eternal loli who absorbs wizard powers to maintain her eternal youth
>the underground is training an army of wizards to fight against the lolis, the protag is a 29-year-old virgin whose home base was raided and destroyed
>he has to survive another year without getting raped by lolis so he can save humanity from the evil eternal loli empress

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>>151732834
It's like terminator but much worse.

>>151732834
> mining puffy

What?

>>151733006
they're forced to work in the puffy mines, using nothing but their tongues and occasionally their finger

>>151725858
When is it ever unavoidable? Are we talking like a hostage situation here or something?

>>151729281
It's only the fucking brits that do it, don't lump the rest of us in with those subhumans,

>>151732637
>Weezer, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Barenaked Ladies are all old enough to legitimately be dad rock

>>151733687
>barenaked ladies are dadrock now
Where did the time go?

I remember when you could successfully make references to them without being looked at funny.

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How do you respond?

>>151733902
I do not respond to goubrins. I do not make eye contact with goubrins.

>>151733764
It's been atleast one week

Oh god

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>>151728701
Ever been hunted and tackled by 5+ lolis?

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>>151734067
Come on, Onii-chan!

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>>151734496
Stupid delicious gourbin.

Ok, story time anons.

It was years ago, I was just walking along, minding my business while on my way home from work. Suddenly, a dark, nondescript van with "free beer" scrawled on the side slowly creeps up from behind me. The window rolls down and staring at me is a young blue-haired girl with pigtails, maybe about 9 years old, eyeing me up suspiciously. She calls out in a slightly hushed voice:
-"Hey... Hey buddy. You want some classic rock cd's? I've got a ton in the back."
I was told never to speak to little girls I didn't know, but the offer was so enticing I foolishly replied
"R-really? D-do you have The Beatles? O-or maybe Bob Seger?"
She chuckled darkly, "Oh yeah, I've got everything. The Who, Floyd, Tom Petty, you name it. But you'll have to hop in the back here if you want me to give them to you."
I knew I should have ran, but part of me was too scared of what she might do if I said no, as I walked to the back I could swear I saw her licking her lips out of the corner of my eye.
As I reached for the handle the doors suddenly flung open and about five lolis reached out and grabbed me.
I screamed as loud as I could, but one of them gagged me with her panties and they pulled me in with their mighty loli strength.
They pinned me down, as I struggled I heard one of them say "Sit on the bitch's face, Sanae. Shut him the fuck up".
Suddenly my vision was then completely obscured and my screams muffled by pink softness, with what looked like a cartoon bear's face on the back.
As tears rolled down my cheeks they laughed at my pointless struggle. It was at that point I realized there really was no rock.

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-Lolis mature faster and are stronger than their shota counterparts.
-It is documented that lolis naturally are more aggressive and their pack mentality along with their unit cohesion makes them deadly adversaries.
-Sweets only work as a distraction for lolis ONCE.
-Lolis can smell fear and weakness in men like bears you must inflate your chest and wave your arms in the air.
-DO NOT use your own rape whistle as most Lolis keep them to call in loli reinforcement or police, both of which will lock you up in a cold dark dungeon.
-DO NOT BE TAKEN ALIVE
-Lolis who hold hands, can read each other minds. DO NOT HOLD HER HAND AS SHE WILL THEN CAN CONTROL OVER YOUR MIND.

Heres a tip, aim your pats for the central cranium and put her down for a nap.

>>151734785
Oh cool she has Tom Petty.

>>151731764
>rather listen to The Wall
this

>>151734839
YOU ARE NOT LISTENING ANON, DO NOT GET NEAR THE VAN!

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>>151735001
Trust me Kiddo, if there is one thing I learned is that there is nothing wrong with taking ROCK cd's from Lolis. It's like taking candy from a baby.

you guys are just paranoid. I see lolis driving vans past my house all the time theyre harmless.

in fact this same van has been passing my house at night every day this week, I was getting my mail when she pulled up and asked if I wanted to help her find her puppy. I had dinner ready and said I couldn't though, she seemed pretty mad that I declined but shes probably just upset about her dog. I feel pretty bad, I might help her tonight if I see her drive by.

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Guys you are not gonna believe this. This loli is selling fire insurance for 50% off! All she needs to do is come inside my house and see how fire proof my house is!

Score!!!!!!

Yeah, you laugh now, but once you feel the mighty loli strength you won't be laughing.

Only those who lived through such terrors know this is no laughing matter.

How can people b-be afraid of lolis they are harmless and nice.
Everyone should just find the nearest van and jump in for some good times radio.
Love the attention lolis give you because no one else will pay attention to you.
Prepare for the loli van arrival by getting rid of your cellphone and walking alone.

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I am trained to handle wild lolis.

>>151727520

I can clone thousands of handsome oniichans for you! Just let me get back to my lab for a few hours!

what happens if i get capture by a loli? can they turn oniichans into lolis too? do they wipe your mind when they do this?

>>151736844
I'm not sure I understand the mechanics behind it, but I do know that new lolis are constantly joining their ranks. For the greater good, avoid being captured alive.

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>>151724011
I know what I'm fapping to tonight

>>151734149

I've started to carry a heavy duty weed whacker and wear chainmail pants with dragon scales overlay. It's not perfect but I can at least hold off half a dozen lolis for long enough that my anti-loli gas grenade can go off.

That's not beer. It's clearly wine coolers. And you don't need to use quotation marks if you're using the quote function, you fucking idiot.

>>151730481
In soviet russia, the loli lures you with candy.

>>151730481
Not sure whether to HNNNNNNNGH! or ;_; at that.

>>151733687
>dad rock

The sod is that?

>>151735476
>Geiger Counter part 3

>>151735476
Don't do it, anon. Last time I got tricked by a loli like that, it felt like I was seeing stars and stripes in limbo while listening to spooky circus music for a good two hours. When my senses came back, I couldn't stop clapping for a long while, and there was this loli milf being smug in front of me.

>>151738056
>loli milf
Did she make you her onii-chan son?

>>151738177
>Did she make you her onii-chan son?
My dick needs this

>>151738177
No, she was in some sort of pure fury because a bitch killed her son so she tried killing me too. It was scary.

>>151716477
>not nightcore and mountain dew
I'll pass thanks.

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>>151716477
Sorry, I only get in a car if I'm the one driving.

>>151738395
>Not Nudisco and Redbull
You're You're a shit, anon.

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>>151716477

Do you have classic rock and jack daniels?

>>151737901
AKA Adult Contemporary

>>151738504
I can get behind a good disco track, really anything derived from dance music is good, although I prefer the more hardcore rave music.

2009 never ended for me.

>>151717970
>/A/
>good in ANY capacity
You're joking right?

>>151716477
>not eminem and cosmoline
stupid loli

>>151738885
>/A/
get the fuck out

If she has george thorogood I will tie myself up right now and dip my self in chocolate.

>>151738885
What is /A/?

>>151738627

>Pirate
>fighting anywhere not in range of her ship for support fire

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>>151735301

>>151727879
Nigga...

>>151716477
No Pink Floyd please, could I perhaps have some Yes?

>>151732888
Savage.

>>151730481
You call that hardcore? I had to buy 5 handlights after a loli drew a heart on my chest with one in the street. No warning, straight out of an alley and straight up to my chest with her handlight.

>>151740233
nice

>>151741008
SEASONS WILL PASS YOU BY

>>151741008
No.

>>151741264
I GET UUUUUUP

>>151741353
CAUGHT IN A LANDSLIDE, NO ESCAPE FROM REALITY

>>151741424
HANGING ON IN QUIET DESPERATION IS THE ENGLISH WAY

Teehee, all these silly anons are scared of children. Just get in the van, onii-chan.

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>>151741008
lets go

>>151741591
>falling for the trap

Another man for the headpat camps.

>>151716982
Are loli SCPs now?

It's done, here's the revise version of the loli Dark Elf prostitute doujin. Thanks to >>151442147 >>151445660 >>151442931 for proofreading.
https://www.mediafire.com/?05yjkaq34ajkdm6
>>151741749
They're just CPs.

I found the lolis' weakness. They are weak to lewd things, if you get captured just start doing lewd things to them and they won't be able to keep you down.

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>>151741987
you are a miracle, S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

>>151741987
What a sweet ending.

>>151743699
why is everything else dadrock

>>151743699
To think such a tiny girl gets Sommelier's huge manly cock.

>>151717970
I've always been partial to LSD and the 60's

>>151716477
What do you think?

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Come on mister we hove younger guys music too!

>>151743699
>not SAW vol. II
nice try you little witch

What's wrong with you guys? You call yourselves men but you're scared of some little girls? They want to give you free beer how ungrateful are you? Don't be scared we won't hurt you.

>>151716477
>beer
>implying yo average loli has enough money to buy a pack

It's a fucking Happoshu, isn't it?

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How to stop loli and their mighty strength?

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>>151716477
Trap or not, I'm fucking in

>>151746854
What's wrong with haposhu?

>>151738885
>>/A/
Never met him but he sounds like a huge asshole

I am astonished this hasn't been posted yet.

https://exhentai.org/g/484748/a94ea49580/

>>151728749
It's an enlightened drink for the chosen ones.

>>151746965
Might as well as drink water

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>>151726782

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>>151746448
>we

They're on the inside.

>>151741987
Why are chocolate loli so good?

wtf i hate loli now

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>>151746448
WE HAVE BEEN COMPROMISED

Why don't lolis ever offer me beer and dadrock?

Hell, they can keep the beer and rock and I'll get in the van anyway.

>>151746996
As opposed to a small asshole?

>>151716477
I only listen to kpop sorry.

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>>151716762
>The beer is warm
prety sure it is

>>151716477
I don't really like rock music, but... do you have any microbrews? Belgian trappists? Imperial IPA's? Maybe a nice Weizenbock?

>>151717970
>not water and anime openings
The will never catch me.