Why do Vampires need breasts? Its not like they drink milk right?

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They're bloodbags.

They are funbags

>>150544619
Most vampires were human at one point.

>>150544619

Blending into human society.

Nice tits is a preferred trait, it makes seducing males and lesbos easier, thus more availability for bloodsucking and survival.

Science says tits are great.

>>150544933
But Vampires don't drink from other Vampires

>>150544619
Why do anons need a penis? It's not like they have sex with girls, right?

>>150544619
Vampires should be inhuman monstrosities, not these cuddly ass faggots.

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>>150545642
It's that so?

>>150546039
rare acts of cannibalism don't count

>>150544619
Why do vampires need genitals when they don't reproduce like humans

>>150548348
good point

they shouldn't have genitals either

>>150544619
Why do you need a penis? Its not like youll reproduce right?

>>150545087
>>150545145
This.

>>150544619
You think their breasts should just fall off when they become vampires?

>>150544933
You mean like how a camel stores water in its hump?

>people think all vampires are turned and naturally born vampires don't exist

>>150545841
To pee from?

>>150545841
Penis is for masturbation, not sex retard

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What a shame vampire men are only interested in blood-filled dicks!

>>150549034
You can cut off your penis and you still will be able to pee.

>>150544619
Perhaps blood is tastier when it comes from the breasts.

>>150544619
There is not a single /a/non here who wouldn't marry or be with Chess.

>>150548348
Isn't the point of vampire's that they're powerful monsters who can easily blend into human society and hunt their pray subtlety?

>>150550717
Meant to quote >>150545885

>>150548348
Vestigial

>>150549106
Is he actually gay? I mean if I were in his position I would be pounding Chess until she was checkers.

because vampires are originally humans before becoming what they are you dipshit

>>150550625
this tbqh

>>150552604
see
>>150548808

>>150552877
Well if "natural spawned" vampires existed then they wouldn't look like humans at all then would they?

>>150546039
i dislike how the corner teeth are used as the sharp teeth for vampires rather then the bigger ones next to them.

>>150553048
Vampires existed before humans so more like humans look like vampires.

>>150553449
Fuck off Timelord.

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>>150544619
You are on the right track, OP. You just had to make one more step and make the conclusion. I'll post it in your stead then.

Vampires therefore must be flat.

>>150553449
>Vampires existed before humans
In Owari No Seraph?

>>150544933
I once had an idea of a flatchested vampire who stored excess blood in her boobs.

She also tended to overdo it on the bloodsucking so she would mostly have giant cow tits full of extra sloshing blood.

>>150552513
>I would be pounding Chess until she was checkers

8/10, kek'd softly

Vampires are opportunistic predators. In order to lure prey in, they need to appear attractive to that prey so as to make the prey more vulnerable and a hunt more successful. Ergo, breasts are often considered attractive, thus a vampire needs breasts.

>>150553988
Vampires completely overpower humans in all physical traits so I don't see why they would need to lure humans when humans are plenty and they can easily get them with force.

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>>150544619