Were Christmas cakes born just to be alone forever?
Nee-san who are cakes are the best
Her chest almost made that show tolerable
More mature men than me have seen them to be unfit used up old rags and I would be smart to follow suit. If they were worth anything then im sure some other guy would have made her his long before i showed up
An inevitable consequence of girl infants not being drowned at birth: too many gashes, not enough cocks. Unless they go the degenerate mutant dyke route, they're doomed to spinsterhood.
>you will never confess your feelings to a 250 year old elf woman who's only sexual experience is being raped as a young woman by an uncaring pack of orcs
>you will never see her beautiful smile turn to tears as she expresses her disbelief that someone as sweet as you could feel love for someone like her
>you will never hug her tightly and tell her that none of that means anything to her, and that she will always be the person you care about, no matter what happened to her
>you will never break down her emotional barriers through a series of dates and secret encounters after school (because she's also your teacher, I guess)
>you will never see the look of pure love and devotion on her face when you spend your first night together and treat her like the pure, virginal princess she is on the inside
Women 25 and under are usually pretty lame. Nowhere near as sexually adventurous and high strung as hell. Older women are chill as fuck and animals in the sack. You're missing out.
>I always wondered why /a/ adheres to it so much.
You really don't understand why /a/ loves the idea of sexually mature, lonely/desperate women who are still considered social misfits by a significant portion of their society?
>japanese dont take women being useless after a certain age seriously
>not burying your face into the crotch of your Onee-san and taking a good whiff
>Don't sexualize what exists to be sexualized
You have sex with her in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation while holding hands and interlocking fingers while she at the same time leg locks you so you don't get cold feet and try to pull out.
There's a reason why otaku don't buy series where Christmas Cakes get eaten. They're impure, filthy sluts who typically have traits that make them literally unwaifuable.
You might as well fuck men.
Alone and drunk, Cakes don't deserve this.
Mother being hotter then her daughter is my fetish, but this is a cake thread.
Yes. You don't understand the Japanese mindset if you think Cakes are attractive; they're meant to be unattractive, except for their body. Being a cake fetishist is being the lowest of the low of otaku.
>you will never welcome Sawa-chan home after a hard day at school
>you will never share the meal you made
>you will never crack open some beer and listen to her unload about her day
>you will never develop your personal shared collection of 'stupid Yui' jokes
>you will never watch her squeeze into her old punk rock outfits
>you will never take her to a concert
>you will never watch her headbang with abandon in the front row
>you will never walk home with her as she gushes about the band
>you will never make sloppy drunken love
>you will never listen to her confide her fears about getting older
>you will never fall asleep with Sawa-chan in your arms
>you will never wake up the next morning to see Sawa-chan scurrying out the door because she's late for class.... again
Good. I also like to drink every now and then.
Real men will happily cook for their girlfriends and wives.
Tall is only an issue if you are insecure.
Being totally inexperienced has plenty of downsides. It's a non-issue.
The only problem on that list is smoking. And even then it's not really a big problem. The only real trouble is that it will negatively affect her health, but even then she can quit.
>almost a christmas cake
>have already given up on love
end it now lads
>tfw live with older sister
>she's basically an OL whose hitting her late 20s now
>can't find a boyfriend
>struggles at work
>needs me to cook when she comes home from work due to stress and physical fatigue
I need to find this cake a
>can actually cook
>drinks in moderation
>great in bed
>tfw plenty of cake doujins but literally no christmas cake hentai
>shitty, abusive childhood
>depression in early adulthood
>took me until 23 to deal with it and start college
>not going to whore myself around like the idiots and sluts, sitting my ass down and actually trying to learn something
>by the time I get a masters in my chosen field of science, I'll be 29 and expired goods
That's how, anon.
>cake in real life are ugly old hag
IT'S NOT FAIR
>cakes lost all hope and standards
>you're still not good enough for them
Well, sometimes things like beer and impending impacts get in between the cakes and their true loves.
But incest is forbidden, anon. I can't do that.
>not liking tall or being able to enjoy a drink together
But that's not the same as sticking your dick in your neesan!
Jaywalking is going somewhere you're told not to (a portion of the street with no crosswalk), but as long as you're careful no one is hurt and you benefit
The same can be applied to putting your dick where you're told it isn't supposed to go
I just want her to be happy.
>The cute, young-looking girl at my work who I thought was fresh out of high school is confoundingly a high school dropout retard in her 30s
Why can't I just spend more time with her? She likes that, anons.
Well Satan, finding her a mate will probably good for her long term happiness, but bear in mind you can be her mate
If you pair bond with her, you'll be able to spend lots of time together
Maybe talking more with her and going out to a dinner and seeing movies is a good start to warm things up? I mean my neesan is great but I don't know how she'd react in the long run to having the moves put on her by her otouto here.
I guess it couldn't hurt to try.
buy her dinner, take her to a movie, then take her home and plow her like snow covered mountain roads.
I'd rather take things real slow. We have a pretty good relationship and live together, and I often do cook simple meals for the both of us at times, I know she likes takeout a lot too. But
I'm not crazy enough to think a single date is gonna get me in her pants.
Entirely to the neesan? But what happens if she rejects me? Couldn't that basically poison our entire relationship forever in the worst case scenario? This is scary.
Its hard to be extra manly when your sister is taller then you.
>Make yourself such a ubiquitous fixture in her life that she can't think of anyone but you.
Well like I said earlier: we live together, I do a lot of cooking and cleaning when not at work since I get home before her usually, run errands, and go out with her a lot. Is that good enough or is there more I should be doing?
Yeah but its harder when one's sister is an inch and half taller then oneself. I guess I turned the thread into a incest one. Whoops.
If you sling her over your shoulder and spin her around or squeeze her hard enough to prevent escape, she'll notice you strength. However, there's more to masculinity than strength, so you'll have to do more than just that, but if you're courageous enough to go for it, you're on the right track
That anon talking about masculinity is right, you need to give off the right impression. If you can do that, then everything you do for her will feed into the right image. Then the reliability you've shown so far will be appealing. Keep doing what you're doing, to the greatest extent possible
Note that this is all more effective if she's basically dependent on you. The more outside influences she has, the tougher this is gonna be. But we don't know your situation
What sort of things should I do to show off my manliness exactly without forcing it to avoid her getting suspicious? I mean she's pretty dependent on me and doesn't have many friends and only a few coworkers she's somewhat close with to go out with once and awhile but I'm struggling of thinking of what to do show off for her to see me in such a way.
Well I'm afraid that's the extent of the advice I can give you, anon. Knowing what should work is easy enough, but exactly how to do it is beyond my knowledge. Sorry. Hopefully a kind anon will come along and be able to give you some advice. For now all I can say is that you're already in a good spot, so taking this gradually won't be too bad even if you can't figure out exactly how to win her over yet. Just spending as much time with her as you can while being confident should go a long way
Well I appreciate it anon, it'll help give me something to try to work with here. I'll probably try and take the neesan out to see a movie tomorrow in the morning and maybe spend the rest of the day with her just relaxing since we both have the day off anyways.
I hope I can get something of a closer rapport with her that moves past platonic sibling stuff, not a lot but a little more hopefully.
Think about the sorts of personality traits that idealized forms of men possess, be they heroes, fathers, champions, or lovers, and strive to incorporate them into your own pesona, Say for instance, learning to fix things around the house, demonstrating courage, toughness, and independence, and, perhaps most importantly, being firmly in command of the household.
As an aside, make sure you give her plenty of physical contact; it will almost certainly aid you in this endevour
How do I go into getting extra physical contact with her without making her uncomfortable or violating her personal space? I think I understand what your getting at what I should do here but I'm uncertain how I should go about it.
I know anon, it's only natural.
G-guys, she's not gonna win.
He won't even take her virginity. It's just not fair ;_;
Pretty sad that once you log out and go to the real world, you see these "cakes' are pretty undesirable.
I work in an office environment with 80% women and I kid you not only 1 is worth banging and they are all cakes.
>"Real" men are slaves to muh strong wimin
>>>/tumblr/ will be more welcoming for you.
>Were Christmas cakes born just to be alone forever?
Yes, just like Wizards. Both destined for each other, but never to cross paths. Mostly because the Wizards never leave their abodes.
We, as a human species, have reached the point where wanting to be loved and cuddled is a fetish.
A. FUCKING. FETISH.
Someone nuke this planet, please!
In very rare occasions where the Christmas Cake wins, it's fucking glorious.
By the way, did the Garo movie ever get uploaded? I think it came out back in May. I wonder if they actually ended up together.
>Being totally inexperienced has plenty of downsides.
Never understood this argument. Feels like it's implying people are incapable of learning and becoming better at sex. "inexperience" isn't a state you're permanently in.
>Her uncles are bigshots in local politics
How the FUCK does she even stay unemployed? I mean, I'm unemployed despite having two degrees but I'm neither pretty nor female nor well connected.
The fuck's wrong with her, other than her obvious mental instability?
Her personality probably. From just that page she looks like the "Nothing is ever my fault, everyone owes me help" type of worthless human I hate the most. My brother was like that, as were most of his GFs. I can't stand this kind of person at all. She could be a 10/10 totally willing to suck my dick and I still wouldn't want anything to do with her.
You'll have to wait until the Blu ray comes out. Then hope that somebody uploads it. And if you want subs, you'll have to wait even longer.
Just play along, even butt stuff can be fun if done right.
>Not marrying a cake who can provide for you
By being a good househusband who provides her with a warm and loving environment. After a long day at the office there's nothing she'll appreciate more than a clean house, a hot meal and a warm, tidy bed.
>So what is the definition of a cake?
An unmarried woman above the age of 25. That's because in the (old) Nihons, a woman was like a christmas cake: nobody wants one after the 25th.
Try using google next time, newfriend, and enjoy your time in our friendly community. Don't feel bad if someone calls you a faggot or tells you to go kill yourself, that's how we socially inept manchildren express our mutual respect for eachother.
I want an older woman to comfort my oedipus complex!
>you WILL outgrow cakes
God dammit I dont want to get old and miss out on some deranged older woman capitalizing on my youth.
they make themselves that way, for any number of reasons, like focusing on work, being a dyke, having that "i dont need no man" complex or many other things, all women have to do to not be alone is sit around and wait for a guy to say something to her, if a woman ends up alone its her fault, because getting a partner as a girl is easy mode.
The most popular anime of Fall 2015
S1 is actually a pretty good adaptation of the novels. S2 They cut out most of the porn and crammed 3 novels worth of content into 10 episodes. It's a decent adaptation, but could have used 2 extra episodes to pace things better. OVA 1 is a 10/10 for sensei though.
They are non blood related cousins. They start having intracural sex in volume 6. It isn't until volume 8 that they spend a year together where she finally gets the dick.
I'm doing what the other anons have suggested to me from last night, guys!
We went out all day, had breakfast together, saw an early movie, and then went shopping and now came back to relax.
I'm so confused now.
I'm still not sure how far I'll go with it but at the very least I'll get closer to my neesan.
>and double dubs
Fuck your sister, anon. Fuck her hard and long, and make that keiki single no longer.
Of course, what is better then incest? Don't otoutos belong to their neesans?
>kill them all violently with bare hands
Kettle, meet pot
Look, a christmas cake can and most likely has gotten all the cock she wants because she's a female. She has nothing to complain about. A male being stuck alone suffers greatly more than she ever could. The fact you're defending worthless used goods show how neo-/a/ is just cancer and normalfags.
Its funny to me that you have no idea what you are talking about. But then I realized you can't really be this stupid so you're just intentionally saying dumb stuff to keep the thread alive, so I congratulate for the effort.
How does it destroy our familial relationship, anon? Worst case scenario, she'll reject it but she's very sweet so I don't see a falling out between us going past that point. Or are you talking about how the rest of the family would react to it?
>I don't think I would enjoy her big sweaty butt in my face.
any guy can have as much pussy as he wants if he is willing to sleep with sluts, its the exact same as for women, you just have a shitty attitude and a higher than thou mentality.
why didn't i see it sooner
no baitin allowed
>Tell somebody who looks down on others that he'll end up beating his meat all his life
>MUH VIRGINITY INSULT
if you're that stupid i guess you should come back when you're at least 18. Also glad i got your jimmies rustled.
Just imagine a scenario where you are rubbing your neesan's pregnant tummy, anons. She'll glow for you. You created that miracle of life. What could be better then that?
Are there any shows where cakes end up winning the MC bowl?
>I don't think she'd be completely repulsed by the idea and never talk to me again...
This is why you can't have nice things, and have to live with your own sister instead of somebody else's.
Remember - a neesan is a neesan no matter whose neesan she is.
someone call the fag police and get this raging homo out of here
Senpai, mind telling me who the artist is? Please take this cake as exchange.
>the closer I got to 30 the less appealing the idea of an "older woman" became
It's because a) they're not really "older" relative to you anymore, and b) "older woman" now refers to actual women going into the granny stage.
Literally the best route and most underrated girl in Majikoi.
>hero's want to kill villians
>the hero's must be villians too!
>There are single OL CCs in Japan right now waiting for you anon, what are you doing?
Real life Christmas Cakes are NOTHING like the 2D fantasies ITT.
>have even higher standards than they did in college/high school
>will date you out of loneliness but will hate you for not being perfect regardless
>nightmarishly materialistic (oh, you thought all she wanted was twu wuv?)
>reiterating above; Asian women are some of the most materialistic in the world
>infidelity is going to happen, it's just a matter of time
>cook? clean? do your laundry? good luck with that, chump
>don't expect her to put out; you're just her bf as a status symbol
That's bullshit, if anything their standards are dropping as the prevalence of the "Vegetarian" generation has made enough heads turn in Japan that these ladies are even starting to engage in relationships with for example, foreign exchange students from China or South Korea.
>he thinks bitches have ANY redeeming qualities
>Your boss asks you why a handsome, young man like yourself doesn't have a girlfriend
Well, what do you say?
She's already been claimed by that anon you accused of having shit taste
>handsome, young man
I turn around to see who she's talking to because it clearly isn't me.
>"Well, it can't be helped"
>she's claimed by the anon who hates christmas cakes and office ladies
Rings are fundamental to capturing wild keikis.
>Setting up the "I know a friend who's just perfect for you" scenario
>She's also an old hag
To be honest, I'd probably say some bullshit about being too good in the bed, because the only reason I'll be going with a pretty boss is because we're both pissed like donkeys.
I literally get asked this every other week by everybody—not just my bosses—at work.
My response is literally always the same:
>"I don't have enough time to date, I have work and school."
In reality I'm just embarrassed to be 25 and living at home.
I also have a terrible speech impediment.
I say something that will most likely make her stop talking to me and asking dumb questions.