If Araragi did not exist, would you a Crab?

>>139863193
Yes.

>>139863399
She wouldn't be used goods if Araragi didn't exist.
>Cuck queen
?

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>>139863597
I recommend leaving this thread in case you haven't watched Season 2 yet.

>>139863681
Fuck you Jackie Chan, I do what I want.

>>139863193
>implying I wouldn't even if Araragi didn't exist
The guy's asking to be cucked, messing around with lolis all day.
I'd make Senjougahara actually feel loved.

Fuck no. I hate bitched like her.

>>139863193
How would I even deal with the weight crab?

And if I asked to help she'd staple me but I wouldn't have vampire powers

>>139863193
I would a crab even if Araragi were around.
>>139863923
Endure it like a man and enjoy your new cheek piercing.

>>139864145
I could, but it's not really worth it. I'd rather go for monkey or cat if I had the choice.

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>>139863923
>>139864453
Do you realize the whole crab thing is a metaphor?

>>139864453
That's a good point.

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Why is pale Hitagi so much sexier than normal tan Hitagi?

>>139864600
So what? She actually has a weight crab and I probably don't know Oshino.

>>139863399
>a cuck queen
My fetish.

I don't want sharp office supplies shoved into my body

>>139864600
Ah, out slithers a deepfag. Go on then, embarrass yourself, try to explain it. What are the vampire powers a metaphor for? What is the actual bona fide ghost a metaphor for? What are Oshino and those seals a metaphor for?

>>139863193

No. I hated her character in Bake and generally latest LN timeline find her dull and pointless.

>>139864921
Araragi's chuunibyou

>>139863193
I'd Crab. I'd also Sodachi, if she didn't kill herself without Araragi to blame. I wouldn't Cat though, she is too scary.

She's a bully and mean. I've only watched a little of Bake so far and I find her to be a terrible person.

>>139864921
>What are the vampire powers a metaphor for?
Araragi's sexuality
>What is the actual bona fide ghost a metaphor for?
Monkey's loneliness without her senpais
>What are Oshino and those seals a metaphor for?
Araragi's desire to reach out and help those around him despite knowing that truly helping others is impossible

Too easy anon.

>>139863193
>If Araragi did not exist

I'm sorry to break it to you, but none of them exist. They aren't real.

>>139865062
Now that I think about it, if I'd crab, would I get killed by monkey? It's probably not a good idea if so then.

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>>139864707

You're missing the point.

She doesn't have a weight crab.

The supernatural does not exist.

You're only looking at the first, maybe the second layer of Monogatari.

Do you really think that a plot that an author took 8 years to write is that simple?

>hurr durr magical creatures are everywhere

Do you really think it's that simple?

Of course, the several layers were made as to satisfy all different tastes, so you can interpret it that way, if you want.

But that's not what is really going on.

>>139864921

Become fluent in Japanese and rewatch the whole series three times over. First in the airing sequence, then in the chronological sequence, then in the airing sequence again.

>>139865267
You wouldn't have to be killed by Monkey, if you just went to Crab in the first place.

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>>139864921
I also forgot to tell you to read a good history book on the Sengoku period.

>>139865799
Not that anon but the supernatural does exist in Monogatari.
Unless you want to argue Araragi seeing Tsukihi get split in half and then revived.

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>>139865997

As I've already sait, they are metaphors and are not really there.

Many characters could even be substituted by single words (ie, Black Hanegawa is a codword for Hanegawa's Stress).

Picture related, this whole scene as a whole didn't happen at all.

Not only this is a reference to Alighieri's depiction of hell, but also, is merely an artistic, animated way of saying Hitagi was in a never ending fall that was interrupted by Araragi without any inertia.

>>139865799
>aberrations don't really exist in the monogatari series and everyone's being chunni as fuck and pretending to bleed over nothing
Gonna need a source for that one senpai
If your reply was going to be "watch it again" then the evidence suggests those things did happen in the anime

>>139865799
>>139866376
Holy shit, people who think this really exist.

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>>139866397
>>139866442
Your call then.
You're missing the opportunity to learn how to interpret a masterpiece.

Forget Monkey and the weight crab, how do you even start talking to her?
Assuming you don't save her from falling, do you have to go through a bunch of generic shoujo romcom tropes until she finally breaks down?
Everything after that is simple. You don't need oshino for the crab, she just has to come to terms with her suffering. Then have her talk to monkey so monkey doesn't try to kill you in a jealous rage.

She's probably the worst fucking character in the entire show. She shows up with a clichéd anti-overwreight issue and while she acts cool and collected she's actually crying all the time and is an obnoxious bitch. People think she's a cuck Queen and cute but if she saw araragi getting raped by some other girl shed flip shit and comit suicide. She has no redeeming qualities and is an awful human being, her only redeeming factor her cute face.

cat a best

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>>139866642

>>139866442
There are people that think Haruhi doesn't have any powers and it's all just a metaphor for Kyon falling for a regular high-school girl.

>>139863193
I'd a Crab regardless. She's best girl

>>139866796
There's also people that think Kyon is god.
Parts of that fanbase are just fucking retards.

Naah

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>>139865092
>can't handle the bantz

If I start watching Bake will I feel the urge to watch everything else in the series?

I always avoided Monogatari for no specific reason but meh, I don't want to be stuck on another everlasting series. So, is Bake enough self-conclusive?

>>139865092
Araragi dies and then is revived.
Tsukihi doesn't exist.
Oshino knows Kaiki.
Oshino disappears.
Araragi gets cucked by Kaiki.

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/his/ crossborder here.

Monogatari is way too full of Sengoku Jidai references to be just a coincidence. I'm betting my coins on

>>139865945
>>139865799
>>139866495

>>139866376
>metaphors and are not really there
I think the word you're looking for is "allegory". That is, the supernatural represents mundane events such as eating disorders and sexual repression, but still actually happen within the stories. If the supernatural was just an addition to an otherwise story, e.g. "The Wind Up Bird Chronicle", it would be credible. However, in the Monogatari series, the entire plot focuses around the supernatural. Nobody in their right mind would write a 20 book series about shit that didn't actually happen within the stories; only a small fraction of devoted readers would notice, reconstructing the actual plot would be too much work, and after the story really developed the supernatural elements would become incredibly cumbersome.

>>139863193

No, because /pol/ told me never to stick your dick in a crazy.

>>139868161
Why can't the event actually happen and be a reference/symbolism?

>>139868161
There also was an episode in Nisemonogatari that I recall seeing Hitagi's pencils being alligned as to form the Mitsuhide clan mon in one of those flashes when the topic came to Kaiki. Mitsuhide is the samurai who happened to betray Nabunaga at Kyoto's Echizin.

>>139867769
>le cuck mem
haha

>>139863193
No. Snake is best.

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>>139865945
>>139866495
>>139868161
>>139868282
Come to think of it, Imagawa Yoshimoto was killed by Nabunaga at Owari province.
Is it a coincidence that the arc where someone gets their mother killed is also called Owarimonogatari?

>>139863399
>>139867769
>talking out your ass
>cuck
>>>/tv/
>>>/v/

>>139868483

Crossborder here.
Owari is one of the richest provinces of Japan in terms of military history. Lagging behind Yamato, Satsuma, Mitsubara aka Edo and Kyoto, of course.

I've just finished Nekomonogatari so I can't tell.

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>>139868584
>satsuma
>not kagoshima
kill yourself

>>139867224
The mantra of desperate Crabfags.

>>139868161
Meh, forced symbolism over this seems retarded. Never watched Monogatari though so don't consider my opinion.

Psst, I'm >>139867733

>>139868670

Kagoshima is a prefecture and the name of a municipaility near Nagazaki.

The province sitll exists and is called Satsuma, despite having some territorries ceeded to Bungo, Saga and Okiumi.

>>139865799
Surely it then won't trouble you in the slightest to let us catch a glimpse of this masterpiece's true scale by illustrating some of the deeper, more arcane levels with a brief example.

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>>139865799

>>139868161
If that's the case, then why does the character literally named "Sengoku" have such a minor role?

Actually hold on. If everything is a metaphor and stuff, does that mean that the toothbrushing scene is a metaphor too? And what else would it be then if not a metaphor for actual sex? Are you telling me Araragi fucked his sister? Or is his sister also a metaphor for something (like his hands for example, the right hand is Karen, and the left one is Tsukihi)?

>>139869554
read
the
filename
>>139865945

>>139869554
also
>sengoku
>minor role

Please englighten us with your wisdom
>>139869940
>>139868483
>>139868161
>>139866495
>>139866376
>>139865799

>>139863193
Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

Crab is best girl in the Universe.

I've always dreamed of waifuing her but I can't because of the MC.

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>>139863193
>Implying I wouln't when Araragi does exist
Mfw the both don't exist

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>>139873743
dumb frog poster
senjougahara woul never love someone as pathetic as you

>>139874194
You're right.
Why even live.

>>139873570
>dreamed of waifuing her but I can't because of the MC.
Its not like he's waifuing her.

What would be the point? She's not a particularly desirable partner
She would be Snake if Snake didn't exist and Sodachi wasn't added in.