ITT: Tales from the University of /a/ How have your classes

huh?

Something appears to be wrong with our Guidance Counselor. Everytime I try to talk to him, he keeps on whining about some kind of robot, then on a moment's change he suddenly starts clapping and screaming "Congratulations'" If it weren't for our Rowing Team Captain and her "ara ara fufufufu~" I'd have left this university ages ago.

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>>133789903
We need to change Danpei to this

>>133789903
> Walking down the hall
> See Astrology teacher going to his class
> Fucking Psychology teacher appears behind the corner
> Calls Astrology teacher a moral faggot
> Cries and mutter " muh juria"

Everytime this shit happens, whats wrong with those guys?

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God damn it, I want to marry her.

I was wandering about the hall to look for an "Electronics" course but it seems that this university is abysmal. I also don't want to be taught wrestling by a raging homo

Something seems off about my human rights professor...but I cant figure out why he seems odd.

>>133791272
You can't avoid the raging homos in wrestling. They're everywhere. You just have to make friends with the least gay heavyweights and not drop the soap.

I know European History is fucked with all them jazz but is there really nothing other than wars in there?
Plus I think the dude just tried to do the Third Wave shit on us.
On other news, doesn't the History of Religion guy look like Johnny Depp?

Vector Marketing still gets me every time.

Akainu keeps failing everyone with different opinions

>>133791235
Never watched that anime, but DAMMMMN

Every year there's at least one autistic fuck who literally runs around the computer lab crying about how he's about to flunk Lain's classes and demanding help from random upperclassmen. How the fuck do these people even get accepted?

I am probably going full retard for asking, but why is Jotaro head of Marine Biology?

Took up mathematics. Prof isn't too flashy unlike some others I met in the hall, but he also seems to have a lack of understanding in the subject. We barely defined real numbers and he already makes a couple of grave mistakes every lecture.

Touma's subject could also be changed to applied gender equality

>>133791493
Spot the anime only fag. He writes his thesis for dolphins or something during part 4

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>>133791493
Marine Biologist

>>133789903
>having trouble so go see the guidance counsellor
>get into office but nobody is there
>wait for a few minutes
>door suddenly slams open and the dean marches in dragging the counsellor behind him
>dean throws the counsellor into the chair
>"You must sit in the chair and guide the students, Shinji!"
>continues to yell at the counsellor for a few more minutes until he storms out
>counsellor curls up on the chair and starts mumbling "I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away."
>unable to get anything more I leave, but decide to take his words to heart
>graduate a year later with full honours
>guidance counsellor is in the front row clapping as I come up on stage
>"Congratulations!"

>>133791306
There's nothing wrong with Mechazawa-sensei, what are you on about?

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>>133789903
> human resources

>>133789903
Anyone got the newer one?

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> vocal performance

>>133789903
Guys, I'm having trouble in Colonialism. My professor seems to only to be able to say 'Johj'.

Oh, also, he's ripped the head off like 15 other students so far.

>>133791593
That is the newest one... that I'm aware of.

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>>133789903
>Telecommunications

It's fucked-up how the choir is the most popular date-rape drug on campus.

>>133789903
>mechatronic engineering is just a gundam
fucking lazy

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> poverty law

>>133791534
Damn I have to visit that guidance counselor sometime.
Philosophy teacher does nothing but rant shit, depress some people and try to commit suicide. Nothing inspiring from that guy to use for my thesis.

>>133791653

considering that a child is teaching teleco is already disturbing

>>133791555
Hes really mechanical in the way he grades, there is no A,B,C, or D...only right and wrong. I overheard classmates talkig about someone whos so calming yet commanding cant be human

>>133791235
why does whole Venice smell like piss?

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>>133789903
Surgery.

>>133789903
So I took up Zoology and the first assignment is running to the next city to get some package for my prof, cause for some reasons they didn't deliver it to his house directly or something. Do I look like his errand boy?

Apparently it gets better though. Upperclassmen told me, I have to catch and bring him roughly 50 animals per semester. No idea where I could find 300 different species anywhere close, but it should be possible, right?

>>133791840
I heard we had a different professor until recently, but he did a "practical demonstration" on a student with his bare hands.

>>133789903
Lost it at quality van

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What ever happened to the old Literature professor?

My colonialism prof is so confusing we keep on hearing nothing but "Johj" and why are there so many muslims in my class?

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>>133789903
>Washu not the head of science

OK OK. She destroyed a couple galaxies. But so what? Can she get her job back?

>>133791675
Just visit the assistant dean. His methods are crazy, but he can solve pretty much any major problems a student has.

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>Swimming Coach is not Battler

This is what we get for getting midgets as a president!

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>>133789903
Can someone direct me to human resources? I'd like to apply to teach Gynocology.

>>133792043
Hey man. He's an olympic class coach. Sure, his protege didn't bring home the gold, but he still did really well.

>>133792043
>Drowned in his source material and got brain damage
Gee, I wonder why

>>133789903
Who the fuck is the door to door sales guy?

>creative writing teacher
>refuses to show any of her work
Why.

>>133792203
Dekomori plz

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>>133792060
Remind me Kimura sensei, why did you decide to become a high school teacher?

>>133789903
Shirou should have stayed Human Resources.

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I passed the nuclear engineering office the other day and the things I saw scarred me for life.
So I quickly went around to the sex ed department for advice and
yooooooooooooooooooooooo
then da wrestlin coach came in and I was like
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
then those niggas from colonialism jumped into da fuckin car and
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo


Oh sorry, I was just practicing for my Jive exam.

>>133789903
>Saten, Thermodynamics

Huh. So that explains how he got those hot abs.

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>>133789903
>bus driver

>>133791876
If you think that was bad, you must be too new to remember professor Fran.

Recently I discovered that the track coach used to be the student counselor, but all he was yapping about was "Hard work and guts" and it didn't help most students.

Suggestions:
>Humanities
Nitori for Gender Studies
Eu for Linguistics
8man for Cognitive Sciences or Philosophy

>Sciences
Kayaba Akihiko (or Yuuko Amasawa) for Immersive Technologies
Meruem for Entomology
Kurisu for Quantum Mechanics
Roka for Game Design

>Business
Kanye West for Marketing
Nozaki (or Ken-chan/Maeno) for Publishing

>Arts
Yukio Tanaka (BECK) for Rock Music
Theiamilis for Drama
Hakase for Product Design
Soma/Erina for Culinary Studies

All I can think of at the moment.

>>133792156
Pleb, learn how into Pumpkin Scissors.

>>133792780
>Marketing
Actually, there's already Viral, which fits a lot better, so scratch that.

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>>133792780
This guy will teach you all you need to know about gender

>>133792780
Nah, it's fine as it is. Couple examples of seasonal flavour in there, but no biggie.

Anyone ever pass by the nuclear engineering classroom after hours? I always hear grunting and the sound of a desk being scooted over. Prof Einstein always closes the blinds and locks the door after class, so there can't be any students in there.

Must be a ghost or something.

>>133789903
I'm pretty sure my philosophy teacher told me to hang myself because life is worthless.

>>133793672
Nah don't worry, what he meant was that he should hang himself. He's a jap and japs aren't that good with pronouns.
If you actually want to kill yourself, you can get pretty good guidance by him.

>>133789903
The university doesn't have a Sensha-do team?
It's not a real university.

>>133792780
>Erina
Her dad can teach way better.

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>>133792966
was he supposed to look identical to pic related?

>>133791889
She wasn't real.

Vocal Performance prof has serious anger issues. Last week he slapped some dude for falling asleep during lecture. Not fair considering his lectures are sedating as fuck.

>>133794837
Yes.

After going to philosophy class I started blacking out and losing whole days at a time, I don't know what's going on.

The teacher's sister is hot as fuck, though.

>>133789903
My time management classes always go overtime. He keeps saying he'll only be five minutes, but it's a total lie.

>>133789903
>paleontology teacher refuses to speak
>oral healt teacher arrested on charges of sexually abusing children
>tele-communications teacher always gives the same lesson every class
I hate this place.

The Cryptozoology prof is always 24/7 in heat. I'm kinda worried and slightly paranoid since my other blockmates became giant blobs of meat or something.

German classes with worst girl are a pain in my ears, I prefer going to the choir.

Those two red bitches are never clear enough about the parameters of their "rrurus"

I'm getting really fed up with this bullshit.

>>133789903
Who's in charge of Computer Science?

>>133801284
Lain

Not sure how I feel about Zetsubou-sensei skipping the Greeks and heading straight to German nihilism.

>>133789903
One of the campus security personnel patrols with a tennis racket. He also keeps speaking about some bread. Is that normal?

>>133801628
Nero teaches a course on classical philosophy, but I've heard she spends a bit too much time on the Symposium.

>>133789903
Wait wtf why is Light Yagami a swimming coach? Did I miss something here?

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>>133802093

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>>133802140
Goddamn, take all my keks

>>133789903
rollin
>culinary arts
>not soma

>>133789903
If Chen's the janitor, then who's the fat guy who keeps throwing my porn out?

>>133802473
Maybe it is the faceless fat guy.

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>>133792060
Okay, but be careful what you wish for...

>>133791574

>>133802622
You mean the former sex educator? It can't be him, the current janitor seems like he's afraid of nipples.

>>133802680
Don't you have a Contract Law class to teach, Kyubey?

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>mfw bachelor's in marketing
Isn't that the guy from TTGL?

>>133789903
RIP former Fashion Design chair

http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2167527?pool_id=1318

>>133802140
Post the gif anon or that picture of Matsuda getting 3rd at the Olympics.

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>>133802940
Never mind.
I found it.

>>133789903
He who refuses to go to Furuta-Hakases lectures is no true /a/esthete!!

Guys, I don't seem to understand anything on my Computer Science classes.
I don't remember math and programming being this hard.

>>133789903
In humanities, who is the "critical thinking" guy?

>>133802895
shit
shouldn't have checked the link
too soon man

>>133803485
What a shame, you seemed an honest man.

Does anyone know if our criminal justice professor is actually certified to teach his course? I'm pretty sure he's just making up his lectures as he goes along, and the fact that he never puts away his gun is making me very uncomfortable. Is he even allowed to have that thing on campus?

>>133789903
Ever since I took that Time Management course, the amount of free time I've gained has increases exponentially. I mean my work productivity is through the roof, what took 3 hours to do now takes only 5 minutes.

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>Shinji as guidance Councillor
>Lio Shirazumi teaching Home Economics
>Denwa teaching Telecommunications

Heh