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You can have one anime character to be your live in maid. Lewd

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Thread replies: 112
Thread images: 52

You can have one anime character to be your live in maid. Lewd can happen but they're not obligated to do so meaning you have to woo them. They're also going to be the one doing your cooking and cleaning so keep that in mind. Who would you choose and why?
>>
easiest question ever
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I would clean up after her
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Kohaku obviously
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>>117489407
definitely picking Hisui
I can cook for myself so I might even get to teach her how to cook
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>>117489407
Shit nigger what are you doing?
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>>117489407
I'd choose Mai because she's good at housework and perfect in every respect.
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>master chef
>loves to clean
>gar

why is Shirou the best maid?
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Best maido possible
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I think I have the perfect candidate for the job. I'll need to buy a hairbrush though.
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>>117489407
But I like to cook and don't like other people either in my space or doing shit for me for nothing in return, so no thanks.
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>>117489937
>Waka-sama, you need to train your body!
>Waka-sama, you are too reclusive, go out more!
>Waka-sama, be nice to girls!
I'm sure I would murder him by the second day.
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>>117489937 >>117489989
I think that Mai is preferable. Not only does she also fight with a blade in each hand and can magically create swords but she also has huge breasts and looks good in a french maid uniform.
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>>117490121
Dat tripcode.
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Isn't it obvious?
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>>117490238
It's actually nothing fairly amazing
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>>117490257
>loyalty not included

No thanks. I'd rather not get ladle'd on a daily basis.
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>>117489737
>letting Kohaku clean indoors
>>117489792
>teaching Hisui how to cook
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>>117489989
>>117489937
Nothing beats the Unlimited Maid Works
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>>117490369
but that's part of the fun anon
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>>117490565
Yeah, but since Archer is Shirou, he'll obviously cook too.

/r/ Archer in a French maid dress.
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>>117490507
Realistically I'm assuming Kohaku would figure out how to clean indoors. And if not, it would still be fun to watch her whirlwind around
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>>117489407
I don't see the difference with a wife. Apart from the outfit.
>>
Lewd can happen?

Try will.
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>>117489407
As a bonus, I'd let her bring her sister so she can take care of her too.
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Could you Imagine having to eat apples all the time?.
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i really can't wish this enough
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Hachikuji Mayoi
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>>117495519
She's cute but shit meido
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Can't I just clean and cook instead, and only have her do lewd stuff for me?

My waifu is a neet anyway, she'd fuck once and then go back to playing games/internet.
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>>117495870
So
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>live-in maid

The problem is, I can't see a live-in maid working out for me at all. A cute girl, living in my home? With me? It'd make me even more self-conscious than I already am. I'd be mortified for such a lovely creature to know how slovenly I am so I'd spend a lot of time picking up after myself, which completely defeats the purpose of a maid. I'd stay in my room even more than I do already, which is terribly unhealthy.

And then... then there are the questions. The inevitable goddamned questions she'd ask. "Anon, why is there a combat knife taped to the ceiling of the shower? Anon, why are there mesh bags full of brass casings in your dishwasher? Anon, why did I find handcuff keys in the dyer's lint trap?" I have a hard enough time talking to pretty girls *before* you factor in questions to which there are no good, sane-sounding answers.

So, no. I highly doubt there is a character in any anime ever made that'd make for a good, tolerant, medio that wouldn't pack up her shit and leave me within a week.
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>>117496871
Honestly I'm gonna need answers to those questions please
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Well, Kobeni of course.
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>>117496871
>Anon, why is there a combat knife taped to the ceiling of the shower?
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>>117496986

Do I have to? Oooooookaaaay....

Most handcuff keys are interchangeable unless they're high-security models. They're super cheap and easy to conceal in a little pocket sewin into your clothing in the small of your back, where you can reach them while handcuffed... they're also easy to forget about.

Dumping your spent brass in mesh bags and running them through the dishwasher is perfect for cleaning it quick and cheap. It contaminates your dishwasher with lead, but that's only a problem for people who eat off plates.

Knife in the shower - with a good kydex sheath it forms an airtight seal so it won't rust like a gun would; so you can leave it there indefinitely and reach it instantly.


That should answer everything, right?
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NO FEAR
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This seems relevant.
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>>117497290
are you /k/?
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>>117496871
>Anon, why is there a combat knife taped to the ceiling of the shower?
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>>117497388

As does this.
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>>117497290
jesus christ homura
that was very interesting but is all that really necessary?
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>>117497290
I don't think the question was technical.
You seem to lead a dangerous life anon.
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>>117497390
very yes
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>>117497396
>>
>>117490565
I want an archer to be my husbando.
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>>117497487
>>117497530
>I don't think the question was technical.

See? SEE? This is exactly what I was talking about! There's no way I could explain this to an actual cute maid! No way at all!
>>
>>117497290
> with a good kydex sheath it forms an airtight seal so it won't rust like a gun would; so you can leave it there indefinitely and reach it instantly.
You're supposed to use a vacuum bag, dumbass. Do you even showerglock?
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Let's just assume I'm somehow the target of her affection. No wooing required.
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>>117497290
i feel like there's got to be a better way to wash those casings. maybe clothes washer instead?
>>
>live-in maid
Does that mean I get a different house
Because I live in a 3-2 townhome with three other roommates. That shit's not going to work.
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>>117497704
Why don't you just lock your doors. Your enemies don't know when you take showers anyway.
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>>117497834
>BANG
>BANG
>CRASH
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>>117497809
A decent tumbler is $50. This nigga is just cheap and stupid.

inb4 someone pretending to be retarded with >tumblr
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>>117497809
Hand washing or soaking should have the same effect. Also the handcuff thing sounds a bit unreasonable. If they manage to cuff /k/ in his own house, they must be good and most likely have good gear.
>>
>>117497663
I think it's kind of cute, anon.
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>>117497663
Just pick Roberta, anon.
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>>117490257
>calls you pathetic and hits you regularly
>steps on you
>makes you amazing meals and tells you that you don't really deserve them
>in the end get made into a sex slave for your own live in made
>alternatively get NTR'd
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>>117489407
Comes from waifu anime but she's not her.
>Lewd can happen
Perfect.
>doing your cooking and cleaning
I guess a nurse should be fine.
Have Imouto avaible if second maid is needed.
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>>117497663
Why don't you have Revy as your maid?

She would probably dig it, and could give you tips 510
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>>117498176
Revy would be a shit tier maid.
Chose Roberta or Fabiola
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>>117497834
>just lock your doors

What about the windows? Or hell, the ceiling? Do you know what a ring of detcord taped to the underside of a tire inner tube will do to your roof!? You never know!

>>117497914

If you want to do a handful at a time, maybe, but the decent Hornady or Dillon ones are fucking expensive.

>>117497704
>showerglock
>glock

You wouldn't understand anyway.

>>117497964
>Also the handcuff thing sounds a bit unreasonable.

my imouto is not what I would call "stable." It is best to plan ahead.
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>>117496871
>Anon, why is there a combat knife taped to the ceiling of the shower?
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>>117498210

Fabiola definitely. Serious asskicker, but she's not amoral and/or fucked in the head.

Also delicious brown cutie
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>>117498244
>If you want to do a handful at a time, maybe
This nigga fucking gets it. Most tumblers are about the size of a small gourd. I can shove a bunch of fat-ass sacks of brass in my dishwasher. If your tumbler's capacity isn't annoying you, you don't reload enough.
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>>117496871
>Anon, why is there a combat knife taped to the ceiling of the shower?
Won't any attacker just shot you from outside of knife range?
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>>117498473
Does math, cooks, cleans and her fluffy tails act as a trap for Youkai
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>>117497290
>>117496871

This is planefag, isn't it?
SWQ when you faglord?
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>>117498244
What, is your imouto a yandere or something?
>>
>>117498460

Ever hear of the 21 foot rule? Most bathrooms are much, much smaller than 21 feet.

You could conceivably be shot through the walls... but many shower stalls are made out of thick, heavy ceramics backed by thick, heavy wood designed to support that weight. All in all, a bathroom is a perfect CQB setting.

... I can't believe I just typed that.
>>
I don't need no fucking maid I can clean up after myself and make my own food.
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>>117498598

Minus the "dere." The last time she got really, really pissed off with me, she came after me with a shotgun.

I wish I was fucking joking about that.
>>
>>117498598
She's... kind of unstable. The girl gets flashbacks, you see.

Flashbacks to 'Nam, which she didn't even participate in.

But she'll come after me with a knife at any given time. Hence the knife in the shower.

And I think you misunderstand- those aren't the hee hee sexytimes kinkycuffs- no, those are the 'cuff the bastard so I can cut him many times very slightly and watch him scream.'

the only reason I haven't called the cops is because I like that sort of thing
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>>117496871
>>117497290
>>
>>117498762
Does Mio handcuff you sometimes?
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>>117498803
I'm not planefag, friend-o.
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>>117498522

I wonder how well the mmd models would be in real life.

Strange how anime, figures and 3d cg can look good on a screen but hit the uncanny valley in life size.
>>
>>117496871
>>117497290
You seem pretty cool. I want to be your friend.
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>>117498522

>fluffy tails
>letting youkai so much as touch them
>not setting up permanent residence in them
>not a mantrap

do you even mofu mofu
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>>117498881
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>>117498762
>is because I like that sort of thing
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>>117498616
>>
>>117498832
More fluffy tails
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>>117498942
Look, man. I could go outside, and look for girls who might be into doing what I want them to.

Alternately, I could stay at home, where the best action is.

...Can I have her be my live-in maid?
>>
>>117498942
>4 seconds after the real response
>>
>>117499031
>implying that wasn't the real response

So I'm a siscon M with a thing for cutting. Sue me.
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>>117498792
>2012
>Not using X
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>>117498980

I will be your maid anon
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>>117498301

Of course it annoys me, but I use a rotary tumbler with steel pins because I'm crazy enough to care about how crappy a job the regular tumblers are at cleaning primer pockets.

http://www.harborfreight.com/3-lb-rotary-rock-tumbler-67631.html

http://www.harborfreight.com/dual-drum-rotary-rock-tumbler-67632.html

I bought the first one because it was $30 after a coupon, but I've seen people use empty powder bottles with rubber bands on them as extra drums on the bigger version so it's not as much of a paint to get the cases in and out.
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>>117498832

I'm just gonna leave this here

http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm24088871
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>>117499031

... despite being fake, the whole "flashbacks to a war she was never in" thing seems disturbingly plausible.

... I need to get the fuck out of here, man. Time to graduate. So very time.
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>>117499278

What, anon, you don't have Vietnam flashbacks when things get rough? Damn, I envy you.
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Not strong enough to resist physically and mentally yet
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>>117499278
Look man I know you're a siscon M.

Don't deny it. She's told me.

and then attempted to do the same thing to me, why do you think I replaced your showerknife with a rubber one
>>
How is this even a question, how could anyone choose someone else?

What happened /a/? You used to be cool.
>>
>>117499669
who
>>
>>117499591
>why do you think I replaced it with a rubber one

I have multiple theories and NONE of them involve my sister, at all.

Y'know, I think I'm just not gonna use that shower till I've scrubbed it with kerosene. Blearghf.
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>>117499777
>implying kerosene can wash away that shower's shame
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>>117489407
No contest
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Nothing could go wrong.
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>>117489989
>>117489937
I'm 100% certain that Shirou only has eyes for Archer. Which is...Shirou from the future.
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>>117497290
>>117496871
God bless you anon
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>>117499751
Fuck you a million ways to Sunday
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>>117489583
I second this
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>>117490982
>Realistically I'm assuming Kohaku would figure out how to clean indoors. And if not, it would still be fun to watch her whirlwind around
You could also just rape her every time she makes a mistake when cleaning. That would probably solve all problems in no time.
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>>117489407
>>
>>117499929
Oh, please, talk dirty to me.

who?
Thread posts: 112
Thread images: 52


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