Hey /x/ Lurker since 2010. Probably made maybe a total of 20-30

For every death of another in my life they have always appeared to me in my dreams, usually within 48 hours of the death.

Even people I wasn't too close with.

Probably just a placebo effect, but still.

These dreams always seem to have the person sending me their last message. Probably just my subconscious giving me closure. Still, always feels like a spiritual experience.

Who knows.

OP, no idea how to help you. Perhaps just try meditation and lucid dreaming. Try to contact them astrally.

Even if this shit isn't real, it will at least help your mind overcome the emotions. You'll find a way to accept and forgive yourself.

>>18405549
He did appear in my dreams the first night I slept after I got back from his house seeing his body and the cops. It was a basic dream, I showed up at his house and greeted him with a hug like I always did when I went over there. The dream ended and I woke up.

And I can't lucid dream on command, it only happens randomly once every 2 or 3 months. But I know next time I do I'm gonna be visiting him and not letting go until I wake up. I'm waiting for it.

>>18405538
Meditate on this person. Imagine your hearts connected by a strong beam of light, an eternal bond never broken. When you feel that connection, meditate your message through the light. Your friend will receive the message. Death is a temporary state.

>>18405574
How do I meditate? He was into that but I always half heartedly dismissed it. He bought a Tibetan singing bowl and had a lot of books on the subject and I always dismissed it. I feel so guilty now. I don't even know how to meditate

I was actually in a similar boat a few years ago. My friend passed from an overdose that everyone thinks is accidental though I have long suspected otherwise. His death really shook me and I started seeing him everywhere I went, or at least perceiving that I saw him. Grief is a powerful force.

I considered myself an atheist for a long time but his death may have changed that. I read a lot of Carl Jung after his death and it's helped me to be he's dogmatic.

My recommendation to you, is to make something in his honor. Even if you don't think of yourself as talented. Draw a picture, paint something, write a song, story, or essay. Be sincere. It may be hard but I found that it helped me through my grief and to an atheist, I can't think of anything you could experience that'd be more spiritual.

And read Carl Jung. If you already lurk /x/ you'll probably be able to get into his work.

>>18405787
That should say "less dogmatic" my phone just corrected it to "he's"

>>18405787
>>18405790

Thank you. I'm not very creative but I can try this. The closest thing is that I've been texting his phone every day with updates to my life and whatnot.

>>18405538
Read a bit from here onwards --

https://books.google.co.za/books?id=RHdIzmYGG70C&pg=PA105&lpg=PA105&dq=steiner+helping+relative+pass&source=bl&ots=np6Kc5AS3J&sig=8OOz9a5y89tVQpmbiisyXw_enmw&hl=en&sa=X&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q=steiner%20helping%20relative%20pass&f=false

It gets interesting from around page 110 or so for your interest.

>>18405538
Here is my advice:
Try to remember how he lived rather than how he died.
Try to remember what you learned from him and the good times you shared with him.
After death there is nothing more you can do.

Also, you can't blame yourself. It was his decision and there was probably nothing you could do about it.

Lay or sit down, close your eyes, and just talk to him. Meditate on it and talk to him. You will know when you get it right and you'll have closure.

Just think of it as you're trying to get a message through to him. If you put a enough effort in he will notice it.

There is nothing you can do. Welcome to the real world, where our loved ones die.

With each death you witness, sadness will grow into bitterness, the longing for those you lost will get "duller", but it will really never go away.

At some point you will want to die yourself, but you'll never have the courage to put those that still like you through the same ordeal.

People around you will move away, not because it's unsexy to be around sad/bitter people, but because, deep down, they dread the anticipation of the same happening to them. Time will get them too.