so it started about 5 years ago...
>>smoke weed everyday
>>"hey anon wanna do acid?"
>>about an hour passes, rush of euphoria while playing beatles rock band
>>smoke more weed
>>start tripping, try to explain to friends what is going on in brain
>>"anon your always high"
>>time passes, sleep, an uneventful week
>>continue smoking weed and pondering the insight i have gained, it seems life is slowly revealing itself to me
>>begin hearing voices
>>mfw voices be like "hey anon its your friends we're in your head now wanna chat?"
>>try to study
>>put on headphones to drown out psychosis
>>doesn't work, keep hearing them
>>god fucking dammit
>>start hearing voices claiming to be of the dead
>>finally tell someone about this shit
>>spend my time in the hospital telepathically communicating with ex girlfriend, john lennon, and aliens
>>get out of hospital, start seeing fucking ghosts everywhere after a shadow person appeared in my hospital room
>>play a game while i walk around wondering who can hear my thoughts, who's thoughts i can hear, who believes in god.
>>start thinking everything living or dead or inanimate can communicate in my brain
>>let's figure this out
>>ex girlfriend promises she's real in my head, and shows me images of the life we're going to have together
>>however, feels good man. don't fight it
>>become accustomed to my thoughts being broadcast, after several occasions where people would look right at me and answer what i was thinking
>>feels bad man
>>start smoking weed again, helps me cope, pretty much would just go for walks and imagine ghosts following me and talking and keeping me company
>>finally got in touch with ex girlfriend
>>claims to not know a shit about what i'm telling her
>>still skeptical that everyone everywhere knows how to hack a brain and keeps it a secret so that the "faceless children" don't get scared
>>found a book once written in greek. don't read greek, but started constructing sentences based on the repetition of words.
>>seems to detail a secret society where your private thoughts are not private, your thought are broadcast when your mouth is open, and you live for the sole purpose of another human being,
>>started creating archetypal daydreams to fill the utopia i thought i was reading about
as things are today, my dreams feel more real than life. i'm on meds that seem to suppress the hallucinations i used to experience, but i still believe i can communicate with the dead, though fact checking has fallen through on many occasions, and that the dead wander the earth in a parallel realm, whereby they can touch things in our world, yet have usable resources of their own, and commonly share a "physical" existence with fairies and other beings and spirits. none of my old friends are in contact with me anymore, after i "went crazy" i can't seem to remember most of what i spent my time thinking about, and i think everyone i told dismissed me. so...
i secretly hope someone from back then, especially my ex will find this thread. some history on that...
she was dating this dude, ended up breaking her heart and i was there for the rebound... i mean to pick up the pieces. probably the reason i'm posing this on /x/ was the way i felt about her. it seemed to transcend love, like she was my sister, or that -here it comes- our love would be so sincere and awesome that we would be celebrities just for how amazing it was. schizophrenia.jpg. didn't start feeling this until after we were separated, but i knew i fucked up bad. a little while after this, we got in an argument about the difference between brahma and brahman. a few days later was doppleganger week on facebook and i changed my photo to Otacon from metal gear solid (4) and she texted me saying she was into this guy that looked like Otacon. i didn't know she meant me. mfw. talked to her once when i got out of the hospital, but that was the last time, over 5 years ago. she still haunts my dreams, as if to say this is the only way you can have me. i thought i saw her at my house one day this past summer, i went out for a cig in the morning and there was this blonde girl with a sketchbook in the field next to my house, facing me. i was like okay whatevs, and then later i go out to smoke and theres a different girl, that looks just like my ex taking pictures of the corn. i said hi, and she just waved. didn't think it looked like her at the time, but i still don't have any idea why i saw two girls stalking my house on the same day, in the ass end of nowhere
it seems to be part of my destiny, or what i'm meant for in life, my ultimate purpose, perhaps to find someone who is telepathic and tell them what i know... that's my understanding, however, i've never met anyone claiming to be telepathic so i just go one day at a time hoping this will happen
Over using weed can really fuck you up... It really does bring out psychosis and other mental illnesses in people that are predisposed to it. Really messed my life up for a while, wish the best for you OP.
It might be closer than you think. Mabye your ex is telepatic without knowing?
If I were you I'd stop using meds and start meditating a lot (Unless you will act like a crazy person).