I'm Pretty Sure My Roommate Is Paranormal

This is the most beta OP in the history of /x/.

>>17332007
Sounds like a typical degenerate. Just get a new roomie and quit being such an idiot OP.

>>17332007
didn't read

OPs pic is like, "hey Zack? you gonna eat that last honey bun? my blood sugars feeling low. BTW, I drank your Pepsi a few mins ago, sorry."

>>17332041
absolute garbage kill yourself

>>17332051
It was a bad joke but really, getting this mad?

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>>17332051
bring it bitch

>>17332007
Your room mate is a stoner>>17332037
Pretty much this. Also probably a stoner cooking shit late at night and forgetting. Also the moaning sounds is porn

>>17332007
You're just a loser first time experiencing real life. He probably thinks you're weird as fuck.
Whatever he does isn't weird and your feeling of uneasyness is because you're insane.

>>17332007
Something weird about that guy, he doesn't even look human.

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Bloody hell

>sounded like he was having sex so I looked through his window

>>17332007
this is the most funniest shit ive read welcome to the real world neo

>>17332007
Wow. How old are you? This is an over 18 board, dude. You think your roommate is paranormal because he stays out late and has sex? What???????

I wish you would leave nyc .. annoying hipsters who think there so cool ruined nyc.. you watched too much friends when you were young and you think your special.. your not

This is the funniest thread ive seen since a "how to summon a succubus" thread.
>pour purfume all over yourself and masturbate in front of an open flame

Lol

>>17332007
>Roomie watches porn. OP lays awake at night listening in.
You beta faggot

You listen to your roommate watch porn?

>>17332890
>>17332905

my sides

I'm dying

Does he ever smell like a steak? Like kind of dank and pungent? That could be sulfur from his trips to hell

>>17333128
Bet he smells like that every time he comes out of the kitchen. Entrance to hell must be hidden in there somewhere.

>>17332007
He's probably just fucking with you. I did something like that recently. My roommates sublet their rooms for the last month of our lease. So before I moved out I just acted as strangely as possible.
>played am radio static just loud enough to be heard outside my room for a couple hours.
>sat in the middle of the living room with a chess board and messy knocked over pieces, when I could hear the door being unlocked i would get into position. and then push a couple of the pieces forward about every 30 seconds.
>was about to go hang out with a friend and before we left we took turns counting to 100, i.e. I would say 1, he would say 2, etc. But we acted like it was a game of skill and would pause every once and a while to think about our next "move"

really fun month, anyway, yeah part of whats going on sounds like he's fucking with you, and the other part sounds like he's just a shitty roommate.

also,
>up at weird hours.
don't you also have to be up at weird hours to know that faggot?

Someone screencap this shit! This is the most paranormal thread ever! It also has evidence!

>>17333162
I'm sure he just pretends op doesn't exist

>>17332007
I bet your buddy watches porn without headphones.

>>17332007
the state your roommate is in is called 'drunk'
its very common in big cities and even smaller towns. Drunk people can show some really strange behavior, eg. being hungry at night or finding very unattractive woman really attractive, sometimes so much that they want to have sex with them.

i wouldnt worry too much about him, and dont call the ghostbusters

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>>17332007
The girl is a Succubus at the devil's hour(3am a mockery of the time Jesus died) they are at the strongest and prefer to eat flesh of animals preferably flesh. If he's cooking steak or something at that time. It's a red alert.

The fact you're panicking and getting an uneasy feeling is the presence of the being they are jealous creatures that latch onto their human slave. Either following them everywhere or staying in the abode for him to return. I wouldn't jerk off anymore anon. Life seed makes them sexually aggressive. You may feel drained and empty when you masturbate. Its not a good sign.

They only appear to those they wish to see. So you see an empty room doesn't mean it's empty. "She" could be looking right at you when you look in the window. When a mortal has sex with one to others it will look like invisible air but that mortal will be seeing and feeling something extremely physical.

To be sure say Deus sancti nostra Terra. If your roommate goes a little crazy or there are disembodied growls in the apartment. Well...

Get out and never go back

>>17332007
he seems like a normal cool guy. would be bros with.
you, however, seem like a beta cuck pussy.

>>17333251
>disappears for days at a time
>when he does come back he's home at 3-4am

That's Serial killer tier desu bro.

>>17333265
I'd stay over at a friends rather than in my shitty apartment with my roomie

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>>17333231

>be me
>forget earphones are unplugged
>have laptop volume maxed
>to go porn site
>grab dick and double click
>fail to find volume control for an eternity
>obvious porn screaming from girl. loud enough to wake the dead and break glass
>whole family heard.
>neighbours probably heard
>didn't eat dinner that day.
>stayed upstairs
>went to sleep early

It's happened more than once too.

(pic not related)

OP needs to hang himself due to complete and utter failure at "how to human bean".

Your roommate parties and watches porn, that is as far as this goes.

Everyone is so quick to dismiss this as a partying stoner. To find the true answer just turn to the Bible for the answer. Paint your door with lambs blood.

>>17332007
Gr8 b8 m8 I r8 8/8

>>17333355
I could imagine if op did this - and possibly that both roommates are /x/philes unbeknownst to each other, and things start escalating with each of them posting here asking for protection spells after one of them paints the doorway with fucking lambs blood

>>17333355
thank you based god

>>17332007
So he just has a social life, and watches porn with full volume because he probably thinks you're not home.

If anything you're probably the weird guy in the two.

>>17333426
I agree. Notice how OP left the thread?

>>17333265
I do that and dont kill people. I just enjoy beong outside around people and not retard village boi autists that are there just to cover a half of my heating and water bill.

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>>17333436
So many people replied seriously too. He must be rolling.

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>>17333530
pic fail. what are the chances of that happening. fuck

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>>17332890