Please help, I am having some issues that is either some spiritual inner conflict or the precursor to a runaway train of thought(psychosis).
Tried a lot of drugs, not into it much anymore but recently did some DMT and when I exhaled a flower of life/mandala image appeared in my minds eye, overrode my vision and that was my "visuals".
Question is, wtf is this? I'm clearly exhausted with all the questions so can someone just please spell it out for me, why do we see these patterns, why do they appear infinite in complexity and why the fuck am I finding it harder to disassociate these experiences as separate from my reality?
I mean seriously, I know what the drugs do to me, but it's not taken a form of its own where I now truly believe(without really wanting to) that my experiences were real.
How do we stop all this questioning reality and just go back to enjoying it?
I just get the feeling all this "searching" is just my own brain's method of keeping me ticking while I'm here, I don't know if I'm being deceived, worse still I think I'm doing it all myself.
Anyone have any theories?
You got high, you saw things you cant see in a normal state of mind.
There are no questions about this, you see it because the brain functions differently under the influence. Its as real as everyday reality, but not from this state of mind. Youd have to define reality to say if it was real or not.
Just stop wondering about it, enjoy it, stop attaching and just let it go and flow.
You saw a structural element of the universe, don't try to grasp it, or you'll overload your brain. Just accept that you learned something transcendent.
Reality is made by questions. At least for us anyway.
Imo there are patterns of creation consciousness and life that are more stable and likely to provide a structure of viable geometry for life to grow.
Like a big bunch of chaotic particles started to interact and certain patterns emerged that could hold and sustain their structure and mold forms that would allow awareness of higher consciousness.
Beauty is what is stable and viable for life to flourish.
Sorry for my stream of consciousness here, but I don't have many people to talk to:
To me it just seems strange, I suppose I did want to build my own solid understanding of reality, to hopefully be a better person, learn more to teach more to help more, type of thing.
But man, reality is fucked.
>You got high, you saw things you cant see in a normal state of mind.
These things appear to be a common theme, a common message almost it appears, maybe the brain just gets put into hyperdrive and you're working at optimal capacity for a while, but I don't know man.
If we are unable to make certain connections without the brain working at that capacity, does that truly mean that all the conspiracy theorists who say that people are being deceived by an 'elite'(aka smarter people who don't tell others how they can be manipulated, since you cant fool someone who knows they're being fooled) and the adage "knowledge is power" and all that shit, is correct in a way..
Basically, it made me depressed as fuck that I now feel so insignificant and powerless to do anything about it.
I just cant enjoy myself while knowing everyone is basically fucking everyone over, and I want to change, without sounding like a drugged out hippy, and without being manipulated myself.
Thanks for the responses guys, I agree with you all of you and I think I do maybe need to cut down on the over analysing and focus on enjoying myself a bit more, I mean one of the main "messages" I got from my experiences has been that this is all a game, just a bit of fun, beautiful and perfect, then I noticed how people corrupt it and I feel that since I know it, I have a duty to counter it, but I'm terrified I am chasing fairies, going around talking about the 'Truth' and how we are all being deceived and how we should love each other...sounds stupid but I cannot enjoy anything else in life apart from trying to do that with others.
Just afraid Ill be seen as a joke, instead of a real person, who just wants everyone to feel as much love as I have.
Anyway, thanks for your responses again guys, I'm gonna climb down from this high horse for a while an enjoy the ride.
you're making large logical leaps. just because many DMT users have similar experiences, that doesn't mean there is any message being conveyed. it's how the mind processes the world while on that particular drug. most brains experience the world in a fundamentally similar way when we're sober. why would it radically differ between people when on drugs that affect the brains of different people in the same way?
it's a jump to say that you're working at "optimal capacity" or that you're making valid connections while on drugs. i can't say it's not true but you also can't assume it is true because there's nothing to back that up (and it's making you feel helpless and depressed so why would you WANT to assume that?).
yes, it's very disheartening that people are constantly fucking each other over. won't disagree with that part of it. the government definitely does and they probably do even more destructive things than we're aware of. the way i handle this is by being very sure of my principles and sticking to them regardless of what other people do. i try to represent the behavior i want to see from other people and then i at least have a clear conscience of my own. in terms of the government, one of the only tools we have is to be involved in the political process and that means getting as much info on politicians as you can from multiple sources and then voting for candidates that reliably support your interests and propositions that come up for a vote. there is also political activism geared toward government reform so you can look for a group that does something like that if you really want to help. and on a basic level, just encourage people you know to be more skeptical of what the government and media are feeding them and not fall into a reactionary panic every time they try to push a divisive issue.
and it can get you down so don't get wrapped up in this stuff and forget to live your life. all hope is not lost.
I just think the culmination of my experiences with psychedelics has led me to reaching out to attain some clarity from others.
I just didn't want to bog you all down with details, but I ritually took lsd and psilocybin and still sometimes mj to experiment with my mind and but then laid them to rest when I couldn't find any real answers, just more questions. Yeah I made some friends had interesting conversations, learned guitar and help me open a lot more, I enjoyed my life.
But im just getting to the age where I don't want to lose that mentality; I just straight up want to either disregard are these unexplained phenomenon as deeply rooted subconsciously-controlled drivers of ours that has common themes, like with Jung's archetypes, for example. Or I want another line of inquiry, so to speak, but I think you all said it best, just enjoy ourselves and not lose hope.
I guess that mentality is a good enough mantra for me, I have a decent enough mindset and still a thirst for learning and teaching, I guess I just need to grow up because I genuinely, fucking honestly wanted to break on through, be enlightened, do more, be more, it wasn't an act to impress people but I think it's like chasing your tail, I enjoyed my time pondering everything.
The best way to convey this to people is to 'be the change you want to see.' And if people see you leading a loving, worthwhile life then they will ask what it is that you know. But yes you are correct, you can't just preach that stuff.
Sometimes big experiences take a while to process and integrate. Take your time, focus on the positive and allow your mind to settle.
Yeah, you're right anon, I appreciate the advice from yourself and everyone. I like how you are all saying the exact same thing in different ways and it's same as I learned myself.
But sometimes you think you're a fool for trying to be yourself, or even better than you are, or do you? Because I think it could be seen as a type of insult to simply act better than knew something others didnt, I thought I needed to 'show' them something from that 'other place' in our minds, and fuck have I been there guys. But I couldn't take anything back with me, apart from knowledge that wasn't already written in countless esoteric/spiritual books, in one way or another(which I never read until after, as it made no sense before i experimented) and I couldn't tell them I got all the insight from drugs.
So..I thought I was on the path to the great answer through psychedelics but instead it was just a big firework display in my head, I added the profundity myself, it made reality my plaything, Ive just went too meta to the point i realised I was about to be needing to invite a few more voices to partake in my inner debate, but we're always the captain of this ship. Be the change you said, I know were I'm going.
Apologies lads I'm writing this as a stream of consciousness to not go off on tangents about my subjective experiences and I'm clearly making a lot of errors, English is my first language, believe it or not, and usually I can be fairly eloquent.
But again, I think you all get my meaning, and I don't think I need to impress the people who I really needed reach to finally drive it home for me.
Thanks again /x/, I will remember this thread, at least it would stand as a decent case of dropping the bullshit and being real for once, life and reality is paranormal enough, the more you think about it.
Gave the last of the DMT to a traveller I was chatting to(I work nightshift in a backpackers hostel) I don't think I need it, gonna try an do some of the shit I imagined when I was high, see if it's as good as the dream.
Life's a trip man, do the chemicals in food not keep you alive in your environment?
The chemicals I take make me more aware of mine.
I stand by my thread, you bunch of wannabe spoopsters, you're just afraid of death and the unknown. I glared in its face, let it nearly kill me and fucking smiled.
Notice how I kept it as objective as possible? It's not about me you faggot, I'm just a bunch of electrical signals pushing a living corpse around.
Anyway go fuck yourself I got what I came for and I know others have felt the same, even if its hard to articulate it, I'll fucking try.
>How do we stop all this questioning reality and just go back to enjoying it?
by getting a qt gf and job and start a family and stop doing drugs.
I usually just go through a roller coaster ride through fractals all spinning. Cool that you saw the flower of life. How many mgs did you do? technique?
You fucked up OP.
When you realize what reality really is it can be daunting, people sometimes can't handle it and go manic, they live on edge, thinking they can catch the dragon. But it's hidden right in front of you.
>It's like chasing your tail
Listen to some lectures by Alan Watts, there's dozens on yt. He says existence is like playing hide and seek with yourself.
I think you're beginning to see that the world is just a bit of a dream, a plaything, it is malleable and it can change with your perception of it, you can help drive reality by your desires. Something like what the 'law of attraction' tries to explain to sell you books, only real. It's just you realising you are the change.
Since you are part of your environment, you have the ability to manipulate it to your will and are only limited by your knowledge of it, and of course some know how to manipulate it better than others.
You did break through Op, but the journey isn't over yet, now you get to join the dance in a new way, with new information to bring to the game.
You are awoken.
>why do they appear infinite in complexity
They ARE infinite in complexity. We can *compress* fractals using mathematics, but a fractal is, by definition, infinitely recurring within itself.
Sounds like you got red pilled anon, weird it happened through drugs though. It sucks realizing the entire world around you is being manipulated through the media, government, and corporations and it def can be depressing knowing there isn't really shit you can do about it. Really all you can do is your own research on how a lot of corporations, media outlets, and politicians/ certain families are inter connected and be able to subtly point this out to others without being a sperg and sounding like a tinfoil hat wearing moron. Educate yourself and be able to provide reasonable examples of these things, the more people that are aware the better the chance people will wake up and break free from the chains of greed and materialism these pieces of shit are pushing on our society.
I'm surprised this thread hasn't been archived yet, interesting.
Lads I appreciate that this isnt a drugs thread and I concede that drugs are in no way paranormal, in their chemical components or otherwise, and I'm not advocating drug use in any way but when you consider the effects on the user, as the agent that defines paranormal instances, I can assure you that you are mistaken.
Consider the following:
1- Ghosts aren't real.
2- I lied, I didn't just see a mandala.
I've already mentioned I have been experimenting with psychedelics, as a method of inducing near death experience, which I basically got.
All connection with the body is lost, then you notice your heart rate rising and as it does reality literally breaks, literally lads, and that's when it happens..
Creation and God itself crystallizes just out of your what now could only be the mind eye, perception, being that my eyes were shut-but it didn't stop the colors.
By this point you are regretting ever fucking about with the drug because you remember it all, why you did it all, why you're here.
It was beautiful, genuinely awesome, you beg for forgiveness for flirting with your own death and going too close to the threshold, you can then bring yourself back, by calming your heart rate.
We will all go back to that reality through death, when it extends itself to you, and you choose to go, you will then turn to face God and all creation again.
When you come back from that experience you forget, and think it was all a dream, but it wasn't a dream.
It's real, all of it, I don't even care if you don't believe me anymore, you can feel it, honestly, I can only say just be thankful and live a good loving life, because it brings that reality closer, you feel it when you're hungry, happy, sad, angry, in love..it's an opportunity to tune it into perfection using your conscious life, through all choices your actions...
You will make mistakes, you will fall, just don't corrupt it, you're hurting no one but yourself - it will be Hell, but you are it's creator.
People will think I'm insane when I tell them, and I am, and you are, because you don't have to experience it, you don't need to see it or need anything apart from love to feel it all around you. I was a dick for basically fucking with my brain and heart.
But sure, face it, 99.99% of people in general have just lost their way and are wrapped up in their own games, all doing their best, I respect that, I hope to make it a little better. Remind them like I'm reminding you all that it's all going to be ok.
You cannot experience nothing, you will never end, this place is not the true reality, but it is almost perfect, with everyone's help.
So follow no creed but a good heart, a good soul, and let them flourish into a personal religion.
I love everyone, and I cant wait until you all see it.