Let's get to rolling /x/.
i had entered the void. They say there's nothing in the void, but then, nothing is something. Without seeing it, or lack of it, it's impossible to comprehend. You look left, right, up, down, infront and behind and it's the same. totally, completely and utterly the same. You can move around in any direction and make no progress at all. the utter emptiness. imagine floating miles underwater, with no light, and you cant work out whats up or down. you feel completely powerless, and theres nothing you can do at all.
I was lured by a sign of luck and a promise of freedom, but really I am doomed to a pit of angst and misery. Everyone here is faceless, and none too quick to pass up a chance to spit from their acid tongues into the faces of one another. Sometimes I think I would've been better off leaving this door closed, but at the same time it has become a part of my soul. 4chan
You can probably guess what my life is like, 35 hours of work a week, shitty apartment, you get the idea. Obviously, my life had been pretty pretty monotone, i hadn't had a girlfriend in a few years and rent was only going one way. Up. Recently, in the news, there had been a mad killer of sorts stalking the streets, near where i live. Every time i thought about it it sent chills down my spine.
Not only was work many hours a week, it was a 25 minute walk. Every night, or so it seemed, the boss made me stay behind to do overtime. i eXpressed my lack of will to do more work, but i couldn't complain, extra money was extra money.
The last night i worked overtime was horrible- not from the work itself; but from the journey home: as i was nearly home, i noticed a man in a heavy coat shuffling along; seemingly in a hurry- and i soon saw why- as swift and fluent as a gust of air, the heavy coated man fell without as much as a thud.
the swift figure dissipated after that, into thin air, without a trace. but i did notice a small note, folded over, only a few inches across.
"read the capitals"
I'd lost my job and my girl, and fallen into the dark embrace of depression. I had savings, and I lived off those. I was housebound 23.5 hours a day.
I'd fall asleep spilling my scotch on my self at about 8 am every morning, wake up 5 hours later and start drinking again. It was a dark time for me, I was thoroughly unhappy with the way my life was going.
Then things got worse. I bought 20+ bottles of Chivas Regal, alot of cigarettes and a shit tonne of microwave meals, deciding to leave my flat as little as possible.
Hours into days
Days into weeks
weeks into months etc
One night I took a bad turn and drank so much that my mind was wiped of all memories of the evening. The next day I awoke on my couch, feeling like death. I got up and sat by my window for an hour. It was strange because i had no desire to eat, smoke or drink. I walked around my flat kicking bottles out of my way. And I had an epiphany. It had gone on too long, I had to change my life around. I had to get back out there, to spite those corporate assholes and that lying bitch. I felt a great sense of purpose for the first time in months.
I walked with purpose to the full length mirror in my living room to stare myself down, to look at myself and accept what I saw as me.
I got to the mirror.
I looked in the mirror.
And I saw my room.
I saw my empty room.
What I mean is, I couldn't see me.
I freaked out.
I studied this reflection intently. That's when I saw it. I saw me, lying on my couch. I turned around and sure enough there I was. Lying on my back, mouth agape full of vomit. Skin waxy, eyes glassy. I fell to my knees.
If only I'd realised the stupidity of my depression maybe one night earlier, I'd still be alive. But hey, I have the whole of eternity to think about the ways I fucked up now. Forever, and ever
I've never been very spiritual, but when i died it all became clear, as i went up to the pearly gates, i couldn't believe it. Heaven was actually real all this time, i was in line for ages when i finally reached the the front of the line, i was asked my name, he found it in the book he had and was like " sorry bro but you can't get in, you were too much of a prick mate" i was totally bummed out but accepted it. " before i go" i said to the man, " whats god like?" He said "see for yourself" i looked through the gates and i could see a labrador running and smiling shining in the sun, that's when the guy said "remember god is just dog spelt backwards". Then i began to fall, i hit the ground and immediately woke up, ejaculating in my pants. The end.... Or is it????? No its the end