I'll start by saying I'm new to /x/ but have been on 4chan for nearly a decade, forgive my potential lack of understanding of a board that I am new to.
First off, this necklace I'm wearing. Made from warthog tusks and a stone I haven't bothered to identify given to me by my grandfather. Since childhood I've been plagued by fear, in fact I remember the day it started, and I'll give the story briefly.
Before I get to into this I'de ask that you be patient and receive all of my succulent information before commenting or asking questions, as this may take a few paragraphs
Let's start with the fear.
Since childhood I've been plagued with an irrational fear of something(s) following/observing me. Early childhood it was observable fears like wolves, animals, etc. As a young adult I always felt as though I could feel things. I.e, I always knew when the microwave was running, when my phone was receiving a message, things like that. I hated crowded places and felt like I had a constant radar with thousands of blips on it so to speak. Chalked them up as nonesense and my overactive imagination.
I've always been afraid of the dark. For no fucking reason. I'm a 260 lb late night delivery driver who gets robbed for a living. I even killed a young tiger with a fucking pocket knife when I was over seas to save a villager, even have a tribal name now. But I swear to got if you shut my lights off its gon' get spooby.
Later I find out I'm (potentially) feeling entities around from a girlfriend who can supposedly see dead people and is constantly plagued by them. Her (and my dog) without me informing her of these things that I feel, are confirming them. (i didn't inform her I could feel what she was seeing till months into the relationship because I thought she'd think I was a hippy-asspie
We talk about it over time and I can feel them just swarming her all the time. Even when we're having sex and such. Eventually I feel the desire to protect her from things, and I learn (with great difficulty) that I can make them fuck off (them being what some on this board have described as grays, shadows) if I become confident I can over power them. Eventually I have what is essentially a barrier around me that will push them away from people. Even other people I don't know. But this fear never leaves me.
I eventually after having forced them away and wielding and incredible amount of apathy to the potential otherworldly presences, stopped perceiving them. And other people for that matter. My radar is gone. Short of one presence.
I still, when alone in the dark have the same perception of this, for lack of a better term, aspect of fear that follows me.
A few years ago I had become Fed up with it while jackhammering alone in an apartment building with no lights. While jackhammering I basically confronted it. I essentially told it to fuck off. And in response, it said (i say said, nothing was audible) aaahh... And shook its head. You're still afraid, son. And for the first time in a while I had a mental perception of something I was feeling. A tall gaunt entity with leathery skin and a ton waits-esque voice.
This presence, although not constant, always appears in situations in which I am frightful. Leads me to think it's either very strong (as some of you have said on this board, you can't perceive things that dwarf your own power unless they allow you to) or its not always present.
Anyways, onto the necklace I received
During my family's last trip to Africa my grandfather killed a warthog and sent the tusks to a man in Colorado to have it made. I got it many years ago, but didn't find out he had had it made for me. I felt like a dick, but he understood because it's large and unusual, but I'm light of that I decided to wear it, and replaced my old necklace with it. My grandfather, while being the smartest man I've ever held a conversation with, has never let on to knowing anything about the occult, and is, very christian despite being very intelligent. Sidenote, despite being the most frightening 70 year old man that ever walked the earth, is also frightened of the dark.
Now, on my late night deliveries, when walking alone down a road, or through and apartment complex, I'm constantly looking over my shoulders. And to clarify I don't even necessarily believe in occult or paranormal things. My logical side says: Ur being a faget
Whereas my radar says:Run, things are spooby
Now then, I've noticed over the past few days, wearing the necklace that is, that I don't feel scared. Ever. I'm home alone right now, in a dark room posting this thread. And I didn't notice until tonight that I wasn't scared. And I tried to use my radar. I couldn't feel anything. That is, until I questioned as to whether this necklace was responsible. I could feel the presence of "The fear". But it felt weak. As if it was tagging along helplessly. I knew it was there but it was as if it couldn't do anything.
Furthermore, my most fear engulfed moment, for whatever fucking reason, is after work, getting out of my truck and walking to my house. I'm always checking the yard. The east corner to be specific. I just feel like something is going to come for me and I need to be ready. But a few minutes ago when I arrived, there were two rabbits sitting in the corner. They didn't even react when I got out of the truck. They just sat there fucking around.
I just feel calm now, I suppose. I haven't taken the necklace off.
To clarify, here are my questions, if you feel so inclined as to respond:
>Do you know what this necklace is?
>Do you know what, if anything, has been following me my entire life?
>Do any of you guys have this radar?
Two more potentially pertinent pieces of information
>I get the vague impression that this thing that has been by my side for two decades is trying to prepare me for something
>Once, when alone in the woods trying to confront my fears, I became for lack of a better term, Predatory. I felt as though I was the thing in the dark.
Wow OP way to ramble on like a goon. For some reason (probably because I like your beard and your enormous neckgear) I decided to actually at least skim your painfully long post and I can actually tell you what's going on before you get swamped by role players attracted to your long story.
First of all, your grandpa seems fuck awesome and he seems to love you very much despite the fact that I'm guessing he's very aware you're a pussy. He's getting old and wanting to do awesome things for you before he gets so old he starts being kind of pathetic himself. Remember that and make a vow to return the favor when your roles are reversed in a very few years.
So yeah to answer your question what you've got there is a "fetish" (not the sexual kind, hold your snickers to yourself). Fetishes possess a very simple sympathetic energy that people not even versed in the occult can perceive and in fact can even be explained to some extent through mundane psychology.
What happened was that your grandpa was doing his hunting and in the process developed an actual relationship with his quarry, this warthog. He got to know it on some personal level and tuned into its energy in that way. Something about it reminded him of you maybe just that it was kinda fat and ugly, grizzled and powerful but also that it had some quality he feels is within you but not expressed - likely courage. This particular animal was probably a motherfucker but he still managed to kill it. He didn't want this energy, this symbolism to just be lost. This is why people take trophies in general and have for hundreds of thousands of years but something about this particular trophy and its energy made him feel it was meant for you, that it could help release the warthog hidden within you and by him investing his energy and money into making it into jewelry for you he focused its meaning and significance.
Thanks for sitting through my Shit. I was bugging out when I got home, and thank you for the information, that helps a lot. Do you have any information on what's following me? I have no fear or rational dangers. As I said before, I get robbed for a living.
It's probably something you share that has been passed down through the generations. Maybe it's simply a way he was raised by his parent, he raised your parent and your parent raised you (tradition) or maybe it's genetic or maybe it's magic. It doesn't really matter. Always remember what matters to the occultist is results. If we were trying to break down mechanisms then we'd be scientists. Frustrated scientists. The fact is that he understands your fear, has the benefit of a lifetime learning to conquer it and wants you to benefit from that.
Who knows what's following you. Maybe it's all in your mind and maybe it's not. Again, what matters is the results. Use whatever mechanism works to conquer it. In this particular circumstance, I suggest you visualize it as a leopard. Leopards are stealthy deadly creatures of the night and they love to prey on baby warthogs. However, despite not being nearly so beautiful or deadly or even carnivorous an adult warthog can and will absolutely fucking wreck a leopard.
Your grandfather wants you to be safe from leopards so he gave you his tusks.
This is ridiculous. My co-workers even call me pumba thanks to my chub and my roommate that looks like a goddamn meerkat. I think I'm just destined to embody a warthog. Fair enough, I can dig it.
Thanks for the advice dude.
You don't ALWAYS have to be the warthog it's just symbolism. It's a tool you can use to solve a problem, but when a fetish like this is custom made for you by a loved one out of his personal kill the energy is kind of hard to ignore.
Becoming a master of one singular hidden tool is probably good enough for you to get over, under, around an through a lot of the hidden problems a person will face in life but if you want life to be straight up easy you will learn many.
Hmm. As much as that guy knows, ide wager he's been doing things like this for a long time. He gives me odd little items all the time. They've probably saved my life before. I've stated death in the face more times than I've cared to count. And I'm guessing he knows this. I'll post a picture of some of them
By the way, that poker chip has some fuckin juju. I could throw it in the street or give it away and I swear it will show up back in my house. And the motherfucker can make the right decision every time.
Continue using them, consider the effects they have on your thoughts and energies. As time goes on and you gain experience while your grandfather weakens and eventually dies their/your energies will strengthen.
I've been here for awhile OP but this guy knows what he's talking about. In the end, the mechanisms doesn't really matter. The mechanism helps you just get to results, akin to either walking to work, driving to work, biking, etc. One method would prove to be the best for you, but ultimately (and many would disagree but fuck ceremonial users) it leads to the same results.
Being able to "embody" that of a warthog for you op would be allowing what is that animal to become you, in a sense. How to destroy problems that arise, how to deal with the unknown. Being able to tap into that extra part of "you" could be vital, eventually. Or at the least offer you some extra insight.
Use them still, and don't depend on just one. But on that note, don't just depend on them wholesale. Half the work is you, believing they work. Eventually you can even take those properties into yourself, if you cared enough about this sort of work that is.