Here is something i have been searching for quite sometime.
I see all my life thru first person perspective (bare with me maen) as if all life is told thru my experiences, like i am ''the one who sees''. As if my conciousness is above everyone else. Basically like i am the protagonist.
Why would i exist in this kind of ''state''? I hate to say i am in some sort of importance, but why would i exist in this ''state'' if im not?
The point is i am out of ideas, i am so deeply desperate i turned here, maybe for some answer of some sort. I probably will be accused for shit post for this but i simply have no other place to turn to, this has dwelled my mind far too long now and its killing me in the most terrible way possible
Soooo, you experience life from 1st person, and memories of some events from a distance? Kinda like over the shoulder? I get that to, sometimes. Not always, just when my sociopathic personality takes over
You are more than yourself. Alright so what is souls are like water right, and bodies are like cups. Their are tiny thimbles that are bees and such, and bigger ones, like shotglasses that are cats or something. And there's this cosmic bartender who can magically talk to the glasses. So he fills up the ones that meet certain "orders" Like say, I want a cosmo, it makes a future fat chick out of a bunch of other glasses. Because there are infinite bartenders, and infinite requests, even from the glasses themselves. It's how I see reincarnation.
Basically, we all exist because we, the cosmic bartender, and something else wanted our specific drink combo. Some drinks have more booze than others, and while one is evaporating, there is a connectedness, but some people don't feel it. They're virgin drinks.
You friend are a virgin drink. All filled up with things that taste good, but leave sugary sediment in an undrunk glass. You need to minimize your ego. Grow plants, and then you can be a compassionate protagonist, like me. I don't even mean drugs, I mean dig a hole and piss in it when it rains. Research what grows, learn what each thing is, and how it helps and realize that if you're the protag, the plants are the producers that wanted you. They dreamed about you, they ordered you and gave of themselves to experience you.
so in short you mean i should piss in hole outside, grow plants from my piss and let them experience me? The ego issue i am aware of and im actually trying not to see myself as the only one existing
Not often should you piss. Too often and they die.
But yeah, that's what my 4chan advice is to you.
It is really something. And pile up leaves around them too once they get big. Talk to them. If they have you as a caretaker energetically, then they'll help you more than grocery-store shit.
You'll probably have lots of edibles. Maybe some medicinals, possibly even some poisonous ones that still have a place in protecting the rest. You'll see lots of life sprouting from yourself, and you'll feel more of the bacteria that live inside you. Gardeners are more connected because of this relationship.
>I see all my life thru first person perspective
This is normal. Who else's perspective would you be seeing life from?
>Basically like i am the protagonist.
You are the protagonist in your reality, as everyone is in their own realities.
What is the issue?
You must be American. Raised in a "you're a special snowflake" home. You're not special m8. You're no more important than any other average Joe.
Leonhard Euler, Albert Einstein, Paul Dirac, were some people who were actually special. Maybe when you contribute something to society besides being on 4chan you can consider your importance.
Why? They don't LOOK impressive to mortal eyes. It's winter and everytime I hold a camera I take dickpics and forget what I was doing.
But really, these plants are common, but utilitarian, and if you go through with it, on faith. It will be better then this "Oh I'm proving, I'm proving I'm proving OOOHH GOD YES" that sort of stuff is masturbation. Pictures are a way to further the ego's illusion. and I'm legit serious on that stuff. I pissed on a hole in the dirt, not did anything worth picturing to the internet. My plants aren't your plants.
Here's a cool idea to play with: you're not the one who sees.
The thing holding you back is your assumption that there is importance to being the "protagonist"
What makes that important?
There is no reason you exist in this state. There is no reason to anything (objectively) because reasons stem from context, and the part of your mind that gives context is trying to give your identity context so that it has grounds to feel as though it exists.
The answer to your question always lies within the question.
if the question is "why am i the protagonist" lets take a look. The question assumes there is an 'I' that exists and a role that it has to play. Maybe you answer it saying "I'm the protagonist because there needs to be a reason to exist"
so you form the next question: "what is the reason to exist?"
this question assumes there has to be a reason to exist. We're left with "what exists?"
get the idea? you can keep going down this chain and you'll destroy your ego, one question at a time
Each set of eyes connected to its corresponding brain can only feed visual information it gathers. Same for the ears, skin, nose, and tongue.
Basically, the "why" is because god (not the creator, but the actor) is just playing games. Go to youtube, type in alan watts, find a video of his that looks interesting. I hope he can shed some light on it and help you find some peace of mind, too.
Go outside barefoot too. That helps you feel like something bigger. Shoes isolate you from your environs, but the chinese got really into foot massage, with hard jabs at all sorts of places. Reflexology is great. Free reflexolgy from a fall forest, that shit is nice.
Is this thread meant to be extremely confusing..?
Holy fuck you too?
Yeah I know what you're talking about.
Kind of like there is no consequence to anything we do, as we only observe.
I had a crazy theory that people like us could be one of the many eyes of thoth on this planet recording the happenings of all existance here.
Everyone views their own lives in first-person. Everyone is the protagonist of their own life.
>As if my conciousness is above everyone else
Special snowflake syndrome. The need to feel like you are inherently "different" than everyone else, or are more important.
"so as it turns out, i'm super retarded, and can't imagine thoughts being real except for the ones that i have. is that true?"
"and you're retarded too, just not like me. i have magic eyes."
and the super-secret is that this is not paranormal
I have felt this since I was a small child. I understand where you are coming from. When I was younger I believed I was the "chosen one" for something, like I have some sort of special purpose to accomplish by God or whatever.
Either I've always been a tad on the delusional side or it's somewhat of a natural thing
(OP) Fuck maen, feels good not beeing alone and that someone understands. I too have had an similar idea to yours actually, have you any other theories?
You see out through your eyes because the Observer/god/whatever found it's time to view the universe from the point of view of your body. It's not that special, it's happened trillions of times to everything else. But it's special because it's uh, you i guess.
I do not think i am some sort of ''special snowflake'' as you like to call it, i simply have no other way explaining it. As i wrote, i hate to see my self as someone more important than others but there is no other way of putting it. I am just looking for answers or other's idea of this madness
So lets just be clear that i do not in any way see myself as ''the chosen one'', my life is probably just as boring and insignificant as yours
You're just like me.
We're just like everyone else really.
We just choose this perspective. Others choose to view their lives differently.
Ultimately, all perspectives result in the same end.
That's called self-awareness and consciousness you imbecile. Just because you're experiencing the prerequisite to being an individual doesn't mean anything but that. You are you, and will continue to be so unless you give that up. We all have this, you're not God, you're not the protagonist, you're just another asshole in the sea.
in the sense of Ni Te or Ti Ne? The mbti will tell you an intp is a Ti Ne but jung's description fits Ni Te
this article explains:
what is it about your own experience which makes it seem "more important than others"?
is it that your experience seems more significant to you than people usually think human life is? like you think you'll live on beyond death even though the mainstream idea is that humans can die?
We are already here.
It's too late.
(OP) i dont have any experience that makes me more important than you for example, the only experience i have of life is death ironically
the thought of something after death has plagued my mind for a long time but i dont think only I will ''live'' on beyond death of course, if there is something, it is something everyone will take part of
>how can you tell if you see "The Code"?
The Code that I am talking about, is the same stuff the video games are made of.
I programmed the Universe.