Hey /x/ my best friend all through high school him and I were like popped and locked. Now he was extremely narcissistic and I'm afraid some of his qualities may have seeped into me now and I feel like I'm not even my own person. Had an alcoholic verbally abusive dad and my mom was very close in a not so good way. I love them both but feel since me and his friendship fell apart I really almost depended on him like a "boyfriend" I feel a lot of anger and I've been depressed and lost all the jobs I've ever had. Im wondering how do I tap back into my inner man and start moving forward in life. I am string physically young and have a stern voice but inside I feel powerless. Can I please have some help I'll answer any questions.
Don't be weak. Like seriously don't even make it an option. Just know that you're stronger than the next dude. You have to believe in yourself and lean on yourself when times get tough. Until you are truly comfortable with yourself and who you are you'll never be fully confident in thus making you rely on others
The thing is I'm very confident alone it's when I get in a crowded place like my guise just falls off and I revert almost to acting like a women with how I analyze and judge everyone
That's how I am dude and it's seriously not a bad thing it's better to be judgemental and only let a small group of trustworthy people in than to be some hippie fag who accepts everyone and everything. I've done both and let me tell you...the latter gets you into way more unnecessary shit and many more people will screw you over that way
I think I already broke
/x/ is my home I think all the mind control and thought reading comes from a big fucking ego and me being a pussy
I've also been a real ducking douche to my parent and brother lately. For exampley brother is going in the army and we were watching godzilla with all the army folk and I was like seriously scaring via telepathy into thinking bad shot was gonna happen to him and I went to lay down after he said he was tired (cause of me) and I had a conversation where it was like cause I thought it my brother is gonna die. That's how fucked my ego is into thinking how awesome I am or some shit I need to break it or get some techniques when I start to feel uncomfortable.
Oh, my child. I'm so sorry to hear from your sobs and downwards...
Perhaps seek help? Are there any suicide hotlines in your state to call? Maybe if you don't want to commit suicide, you can still tell the operator your problems and he/she will help in the best of their abilities.
In MN, they have their own suicide hotline and is described from right above.
May you find peace and happiness, my child. But really - focus on God.
Ive been going through things like social anxiety and questioning the legitimacy of my own personality/ things similar to what you're saying. One thing thats helped me is exploring new interests by myself, just sorta building your own character almost isolating your self to a degree, it'll take time but its a great journey. Wish ya luck man.