I've been depressed for about 6 months. I have manic depression. And for about two months I've been having weird paranormal experiences. I've never had them in this house before, so I don't understand why now. I constantly feel like something is watching me. And sometimes I find myself talking to myself. Or to 'it'. I was wondering if I'm having paranormal experiences because of these negative emotions I've been feeling.
holy shit anon
a little over two years ago, everything bad happened to me all at once. i'm a lesbianfag, and my long-term girlfriends parents finally found out about us after four years and lost their shit. They coerced her into moving back to her hometown.
since we lived together, and we also had two other roommates who were, at the time, graduating and leaving the state, i couldn't afford to keep living there myself, so at the very last minute I decided to move back in with my parents across the country.
I had to quit my shitty job at Barnes and Noble so I had no job, no money, no girlfriend, no friends, and I was literally living in my parents basement. plus I was $150k in student loan and credit card debt.
I could feel myself going fucking crazy. it was horrible. I couldn't sleep at all for days at a time, even though i was doing nothing. i called suicide hotlines nightly just to talk to people.
one night on /x/ some anon was saying he'd do some magic for people, something about Golden Dawn principals. I emailed him and told him my situation, and that I wanted my girlfriend back.
he said "careful anon, i can make it happen, but sometimes it happens in ways we dont expect." and of course i was like "I dont care just do it"
a couple weeks later my gf finally contacted me after a month. said her parents had been more or less mentally torturing her and that she was fucked up. she said we couldn't ever be together and to stop talking to her. we fought and I couldn't sleep again
my parents were gone for their anniversary trip and i was alone in the house for a week. my dad keeps his guns in his bedroom closet and at the moment i was just like "let's fucking do it. just one moment of pain and it's over." I grabbed a shotgun. It was loaded but I'd never shot before so I couldn't figure out how to cock it or get the safety off or whatever. I chickened out and scheduled an emergency meeting with my therapist (cont)
she found out i was alone and suicidal and more or less forced me to check myself into the psych ward through the ER. She drove me there and told me she'd keep my car at her house until i was out. she was very kind to me.
when i got checked into the ER i was embarrassed. the nurses took my blood and asked me to pee in a cup. i went to the bathroom and started wiping with those little towlettes they give you, when suddenly my skin felt like it was boiling from underneath and my vision began to get black around the edges. I puked and shat out everything in my system in the same time. I sat there for a while, unable to move, until a nurse knocked on the door and asked if I was okay. I said no and she opened the door. she said "oh my god" and screamed for the other nurses. while they were trying to lift me onto the stretcher i saw my face in the mirror. I looked fucking dead. they ripped my shirt and bra off and put an EKG on me, asked if i'd overdosed or if i could be pregnant (because holy shit, the pain in my uterus was so bad i was screaming out loud and thrashing around) I said no, eventually i passed out
anyway turns out I had a pulmonary embolism at 24, but not only one. somehow both my lungs had completely filled with blood clots and I wouldn't have known if I hadn't wanted to an hero and my therapist hadnt made me go to the ER. if i'd been anywhere else I would have died.
my gf texted me that night and told me she still loved me, that things were just hopeless on her end. we're still together now, but i can't help but believe that anon on /x/ set it into motion
I had the exact same thing (manic depression and all) until I overdosed in an attempt to kill myself. Now, I am by no means telling you to give in and I know the hospital sucks but. Please, if it worked for me it could work for you (hospital not suicide).
Heh, I feel ya on that one op.
I've been wanting to kill myself for the last 14 years.
Various reasons ofc.
As far as being watched. I feel its more everyone else around me that's doing it. Even people in other rooms. Recording me.. Talking about me..
Maybe were both just paranoid narcissists, I just wish there was some way to make all that stop.
Yea some things are drawn by negative energy. You can protect yourself and reduce the draining harm. Do whatever method of cleansing or blessing that appeals to you. Best of luck, I had a 'buddy' for two years.