Internet Stories

>Be me
>OP is a faggot
>leave thread

>>15602507
really? dec 22 is THAT time specifically?

>>15603151

pretty much
Its internatiunal sbooby internet day

I've heard there is a shitty imageboard that traps his users forever.

>>15603159
>mfw this is hotel california

>>15603167

>tfw 4chins is a cybersigil of the hotel california

>>15603167
It's not a lovely place though

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>>15603187
lovelier than outside doe

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>>15603153
I got a spooky internet story

>be me
>on MSN circa 2004
>girl adds me, says she's from NYC
>we start talking, her name's sarah I find out she's 14
>says she wants to meet up in her apt and have lunch
>I'm like k, I'll bring some condiments
>so I make the trip, roughly 450 miles from cleveland
>knock on her door, condiments in trunk of my honda
>we greet each other, and she say's she'll be right back, just getting dressed
>mfw a man comes out from her bathroom and asks me to take a seat
>mfw I get 11 years in an ohio prison for luring a miner, all the while becoming ridiculed on tv
>mfw I should've had parole but the boys over here keep framing me with shit I didn't do
>mfw I finally get out next year
>mfw all I wanted was to have lunch

>>15602507
>be me
>browsing a forum I used to go on
>get a PM
>"add me on MSN"
>add on MSN
>start chatting
>drops my SSN
>deletes me
>never hear from him again
>account deleted

to this day i still dont know why or how in the fuck he did that, i didn't have my real name and tried to obscure everything as much as possible.

>>15603252
She's legal now boi ;) . Get 'er, tiger.

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>>15602507
>in 6th grade
>schools JUST starting to use computers for education
>most of the teachers were older, and thought of it as voodoo or a waste of time from proper education
>warn us that there will be no screwing around on these or else
>yeah nah we're all going to abuse this, don't act surprised
>1st day we try to go on history and math websites, but the teachers don't know jack shit about navigating on the internet
>in and out of the classroom with some fat college tech advisor trying to teach these dinosaurs how to use a mouse
>naturally, we're all curious and start fucking around on them
>finding early computer games, funny websites, creepy websites, sports websites ect
>internet back then was a lot more simple, but also lots of places were in there early stages
>Its not my computer and I had no idea of internet history or viruses so I look up porn
>naked ladies, sexy ladies, boobs, you know type of things you google when youre 10
>early stages of a foot fetish/femdom, so I google girls smelly feet, forced kissing, held down and forced to kiss girls
>leads me to some serious kinky shit that scares me, amateur basement porn and scat
>turn it off, leave for the day
>next day the principal comes in and says there was some fucking around in the computer lab (shit) and the boy or girl responsible should come forward and wont be punished
>aint falling for that, and as it turns out other kids did the same thing (there was more than one class in there for the day)
>faculty investigates further, turns out the janitors were using them after hours too and like 8 of them got fired
>they shut down the lab for the next 5 years
>mfw never got caught

>>15604766
this was every school in 90's.
where's the spoop?

>>15604424
You really gross me out. I'll tuck your creepy ears away in my memory just in case I ever somehow run into your weird ass.

>>15603252
If that's true, your own fucking fault for being so retarded.

>>15604766
>not knowing how to clear history at 12yo
M8...

>>15604817
>5th grade is for 10-11
Someone got held back a year, huh?

>>15604818
>5th grade
Guess you got held back for reading comprehension huh lmao

>>15604814
>not knowing To Catch a Predator reference
>year of our lord 2014(5)

>>15604818
Nuh uh cuz Bart Simpson is in 4th grade and he is 10 so suck it.

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>tired of the good and evil dichotomy
>eh maybe /x/ will understand that our universe is more than right and bad.

>HURR SATAN IS BAD
>HURR SUCUBBUS WILL SUCK YOUR SOUL NOT YOUR DICK
>Not even actual spoopy threads just reality glitch, and nope.

fug you guys i am back to /lit/

>>15602518
kek

>>15604810
going from porn magazines to hardcore scat in one afternoon is enough to knock the wind out of your sails

>>15604853
>Satan
>not bad

top kek

>>15603252
I live in Ohio. Hope you die faggot. :D

Bad timing.

My spoopy website thread just 404'd

>notthefuture.com
(decent ARG)
>John.com
(no idea what the fuck this is about)'
>The Holy3
(Online ghosts or oracles or some such shit. Good luck finding it, but it might not even be real for all I know. Supposedly scariest shit on interwbez... after 4chan anyway)

Anyone else have access to THE DATABASE?

You know which one I'm talking about.

>>15602507
The thread is archived, but you can still read it. Maybe OP you can find some spoops

>>15595420

>>15604766
>next day the principal comes in and says there was some fucking around in the computer lab (shit) and the boy or girl responsible should come forward and wont be punished
>>the boy or girl responsible should come forward and wont be punished
lel......sounds like tactics used by the pigs. I bet some idiots turned themselves in...bunch'a pussies.

>>15603252
>2004
>msn
being that pleb

>>15604766
>viruses
being that pleb to use windows
maybe you still use this shitty system?
in 2014?

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>the first time i experienced a jump scare on youtube when youtube was still new as shit
>mfw i just wanted to know what was so cool about a hidden easter egg in some tv show
>mfw I didn't trust videos for a long time after that

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>>15602507
>this photo

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>>15606944
Something like that happened with me.

>me and my friends doing homework
>one of them says that he knows a amazing video
>open youtube
>first time ever i watch something on youtube
>jumpscare
>mfw one year fearing youtube logo

>>15605599
>4Chimps is scary

Fuck off pussy

>>15606479
I hated those weak faggots during school. You could tell they would never sum up to anything other than a shitty cubicle job.

>>15603252
What is the main mineral extracted in her mine?

>>15607581
>>mfw one year fearing youtube logo
why does your handler let you go on 4chan?

>>15607683
hey somebody has to support the virgin NEETs

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>>15607695
>Mfw this weak pussy is the cubicle worker I predicted he would turn into all those years ago


Good job.

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>>15607698
>angry virgin pride!

>>15607497
If it makes you feel better, that's a ruse from SA.

>>15607901
naw bug chasers/spreaders are very real.

>>15604404
that's unsettling

>>15607918
Why though? Gays truly are sick people.

>>15602507

>be me in 1993, in my graduate COMM class
>be learning SunOS UNIX
>be using Archie, Gopher, FTP, Pine, NCSA Mosaic
>be me finding out my friend is a hacker
>my hacker friend teaches me networked audio
>be me learning Sun .au sound file format
>the .au file is of a woman achieving an incredible orgasm
>be sitting in a full COMM class beside hacker friend
>somehow he knows how to play the .au on all machines in the lab
>be in the middle of boring ass lecture
>when hacker friend simultaneously brings ALL computers in the lab to orgasm at volume 10!
>millisecond latency makes it sound like a massive orgy going on in the classroom
>be me laughing my ass off with everyone in lab! :-)
>be my teacher flipping the fuck out!
>be my hacker friend who never gets caught :-)

Merry Christmas anon!

PS> Make the fucking captchas easier or I'm leaving this fagboard, nigs.

>>15609356
This is one of the single downsiest posts I've read in some time.

>>15609356
>sounding this retarded

>>15609245
hey, welcome to /x/, /pol/!

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>>15604853
>>15605220
>Satan
>not bad

You understand that some fetish like torturing people in the middle east is a society problem.
Satan for some people is not bad.
Get ride of it fucking racist.

Kek this is what >>15604853 wanted to said.
He thinks that there is no "good" and "bad" in life.
KEK KEK KEK
well he most be 13 so nevermind , when you do something that can hurt someone else from your race/species this is bad.
When you do it on another specie you just never mind but they got hurt .
There is only "good" and "evil" EVERYWHERE.
Like the choice of the "Red" and "Blue" Pills that is given to us at anytime anywhere.

You just need to accept this fact.

If you think that demons are not bad anon ... then just do a fucking astral projection , when demons will fucking haunt you and squeletons will be dancing on your spiritual body you may open your fucking eyes, because now you're blind.

>on the internet
>visi undergroundpages about spirits
>ghoust appears
NOPE.ppt

>>15609432
yeah right they are completely normal.
fucking degenerates

>>15606499
>Implying that other OS' don't get viruses as well

>go on the internet to find out why my farts stink so bad
>medical website
>suddenly sgellinktongs ;___;

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>>15603252
woah omg i can't believe that happened

>>15609450
>"Squeletons"

I could deal with the rest of your shitty grammar until this, and my sides are now in orbit.

>>15604404
that was obviously someone close to you irl who knew that information and wanted to fuck with you for a while

>>15604766
>schools JUST starting to use computers for education
>most of the teachers were older, and thought of it as voodoo or a waste of time from proper education
>voodoo
My sides

>>15607686
i aint sayin she a gold digger

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>>15605569
this is now a catch a predator thread

>>15613602
because we all know our buddies social security numbers off the top of our heads...

>>15610980
Who hurt you?

>be me
>be 7
>get first pc because i'm a good kid and folks don't feel like babysitting.
>they leave me and lil bro alone
>windows95.jpeg
>start playing this game
>weird name.exe
>it's ski
>play ski
>OHSHITWHATWASTHATTHINGATTHEBOTTOMOFTHEHILL.jpeg

>>15615769
You don't know true terror until you've played skifree.

>>15609450
>3 decades
>not even 20
>uwot

>>15615861
90s,00s, 10s

>>15615890
I didn't think THAT through

>>15609399
Word

>>15609450
Has anyone so far as to even?
I literally can't even!

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>saw proof of aleum
>tried to post about it
CannotCompleteLastActionDueToLowMemory.jpg
>nigga what?
>Gobment is on to me

>Be about thirteen
>just started fapping
>Go on a site
>FBI pop up
>nope

>>15616002
2spoopy5me
we've all been there

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>>15607704
It's the best. I love being a virgin NEET and subverting the system by working. I get 100% of the money I make and no woman or kids get it. That's great IMHO.

>>15609450
Is plase for goot typings of scare yes?
>Is make kek sound less like chuckle and more like man een uniform bark order at der jew
Is squellingtowns do danse. Is of fear.

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>>15615805
Sheut man, got the title wrong then. I suppose I forgot the name, PTSD and all... Either way, scary shit..

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might be a little long

>15 y/o me
>playing WoW
>played on an RP server because i was a massive faggot
>one of the only girls in my guild, but definitely the youngest
>some guy in my guild starts asking me to rp with him
>go along with it, wynaut
>he starts trying to make things in the rp sexual, stupid child me doesnt pick up on it
>eventually we give up on RPing because he keeps making advances that my character didn't like, but just started chatting out of character
>asks me a ton of questions about myself, about appearance, interests, location, yadda yadda
>stupidly answer because wynaut
>try to ask the same questions of him, is really tight lipped about everything except where he's from (st. louis) (close to me in southern illinois)
>eventually he's like "wow you gave me everything i need" or some shit
>"lol glad i could help :3"
>eventually he starts explicitly asking for erp and flirting with me
>other guildies tell me i should stay away from him
>stupidly keep talking to him
>eventually he asks for my MSN, give it to him
>sends me a couple of pictures of his dick, i get grossed out and tell him to stop and log off of msn for a few days and tell my guildies
>guildies tell me im dumb, yell at him, and kick him out of the guild
>i realize i was kind of dumb and block him on msn
>whispers me on WoW, says he got my IP address and hopes i enjoy my visit
>stay off of WoW for a week, terrified

now at the time i lived not even two blocks away from my high school and walked to and from school every day.

>few weeks later
>walk home from school, hang out at home until i see police lights near the school
>i dont give a shit im 15
>next day at school, find out teachers found some man from st. louis masturbating in his car to girls walking home from school

i quit mmos for years after that shit. i'm still a little nope about the internet

>>15618316
15 and you didn't get sex stuff yet? The fuck? I guess I can only blame your parents for not talking to you about it, but whut, I knew how to recognize sexual advances by the time I was like 8.

>>15618333
i just thought he was being really nice until he explicitly asked for it
i was really, really naive in retrospect. but that whole situation could have gone a lot worse than it did
i learned my lesson

>>15618333
Everyone's a bit naive when they're 15. I don't think you know how to avoid certain situations till you've gone through them and know the signs.

>>15604766
I remember remember. Some horrible games with Hitler and/or teletubbies we used to play during those classes. Also, we could send a message to another computer! Who's the dankest hacker now bitch?

>>15604766
>Watching forced kissing and shit when that young or any age for that matter
What a fucking weirdo, man I hope you drop the soap

>>15618316
so what's your msn?

>>15602507
That kid's web surfing is wicked, man.

>>15618363
It's 2014. She'll be using MySpace now.

> Jerking it
> Accidentally clicked the 'share on facebook' icon.
>nope

WHY IS THAT EVEN A FUCKING OPTION!? My nana doesn't want to know that shit.

>>15609356
>be be me be
>be me me be be be
>be

>>15618363
Isn't MSN dead?

>>15602507
Google records everything you do if you have their cookies. Any time you use a their services your personal data comes back to them
[spoiler]even "23 and me" dna[/spoiler]

>>15602507
if you wanna feel the most spooped you watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTgFtxHhCQ0

I'm not responsible for any PTSDs as a result, though.

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>>15618316
>i'm still a little nope about the internet

yet you're on 4chan?
I smell bullshit.

>>15618411
what a dreadful feel

>>15618897
>4chan

>internet
choose one.

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>>15603252

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>>15609450
>mfw squeletons

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>>15609356
>be me
>be
>be
>be
>pic related

>skyping with friends
>decide to fuck around with skype-testcall
>invite it to conference and record ourself a few times
>do that for like 2 hours straight while playing some glorious Wowbc arena matches
>suddenly my Skype freezes and crashes
>cant restart it
>uninstall
>reinstall
>it starts up normally
>on my way to re-join conference
>suddenly Skype ringing
>on fucking maximum volume on my boxes, not the headset
>my fucking heart skipped a beat
>look who called
>its skype-testcall
>NOPE

>>15609356
m00t made it so you can do the Captcha by hitting a button... How much easier do you want?!

>5th grade
>just got internet at home
>start searching for scary stories, ghost pics, other beginner level spoopy shit
>find a website called Spooky Momma or Mama that claims to have a video of the Lord's Prayer recited backwards
>play video
>starts out regular, then my screen blacks out and a series of gore images flash on my screen
>after about 5 seconds of dead baby pics I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need therapy
>unplug PC
>try to show it to my cousin the next day, check my history and it's not there.
>enter homepage URL
>nothing
>Google search
>nothing
>wtfman

>>15619611
>m00t made it so you can do the Captcha by hitting a button

Google's reCAPTCHA team did that.

>acting edgy on youtube
>see someone's comment while on an angst spree
>claims she an herod
>reply with "RIP"
>check out her channel
>recent activity
>reply again saying "never mind"
>she messages me
>tells me her life story basically
>um what? ok.
>reply
>feel sick to my stomach reading
>start seeing green during reading sessions
Seriously, reading those messages made me feel like I was in a room full of green gas. Not too thick, but visible. You anons have no idea what Muslim fathers are really like. My tummy felt nervous and upset. Just a few 10s of messages made me believe that she would not last another week
>messages me days later than usual
>complaining about her parents thinking that it was normal for someone to sleep for 3 days straight
>OD on pills
>i establish her as a friend eventually rather than being just her diary
>she calls me cold, asks why i don't talk to her as if I am a friend.
>cherrypicking my actions, or lack of actions
>we get along anyway
mind you, i am naturally just "cold". i just think some people are too sensitive
>she thought I was in my 40s
>i thought she was around the age of 9
>nope
>wants us to meet one day
>sure lets get cake or something in the future
>she only had my first name and city, state,
>messages me my address with just this little info
>tells me to not be afraid
>impressed actually
>her accounts closes
>ohshitson
>get message from someone eventually
>claims to know her
>"she is kill, anon"
>panic
>messenger closes account
>she returns
>this cycle continues over and over and over and over
>always some unique explanation
>met her 2 years ago
>still message her daily
>tells me to not leave her because I am like a brother
>inb4 it is a fat neckbeard autist troll, probably OP
we voice chatted and have exchanged pics
Tons of stories, yupp. currently messaging one of her characters, not her. i don't think i wrote enough to make you see why I am creeped out. like, why would someone do this?

Disnfo.com disappeared. I find that kinda spooky.

>>15620250
we would send each other pictures of what we see through kik. we'd share stories and thoughts. pretty much our most disturbing thoughts and life stories. call her out on lying? threaten to block her? just throw the phone away? no, i get threatened back for trying. i don't mind having someone hate me, but i don't want someone to an hero because of me. and i am curious to meet someone who would act like this. must be a sight to see. makes the future seem a bit interesting

>>15618897
4chan is a hugely popular mainstream site. It's also anonymous, so.

>>15620250
Your story telling is confusing as shit

does anyone have the url of that site where it was about Lain and every page was just a moving image with some really cool music in the background

>>15607497
As a gay man, when I first saw that I thought I'd have to remain celibate for life.

>>15620482
Be wary of awesome tunes:
http://fauux.neocities.org

>>15620630
thank you so much

>>15618411
>using Facebook
>nope

>In 11th grade
>Os Windows 95
>Be total computer
>Have like 7 friends
>check to see if the school installed any malware on the computer

ipconfig -a or someshit

>I find 1 ip pinging out
>ssh into it
>starts communicating to other servers
>cool
>who.is on 1 ip
>registred to a National Security Agency
>Holy shit
You could type -lo "ip here" and it will show the server login credentials for all users or admin
>Pings over 100 different Government servers
>start snooping at school
>find top secret drug enforcement stuff
>eventually stumble onto dead sandniggers
>find a path named 9/11
>follow it
>find a .txt file
>7.2 gbs big
>Have 250gb floppy disk
>leave the computer on at night while downloading file
>6.4gb was all that was downloaded
>file transfer error- remote user stopped
>oh shit
>CIA, FBI, NSA?!
>Later that day in 5th peroid I get called out
>2 Fbi agents at the office
>Want to talk to me
I can remember this like yesterday
>Hello Mr. Anon
>Hello
>Do you know anything about file transfers
>yes
>Do you know how to ssh into a server
>yes
>Have you recently ssh into a server?
>Uh no, why?
>The Fbi was hacked yesterday around 3:30 in the afternoon
>We know that you were the only one in the lab and that you are computer savvy
>I was but I am not
>Really? We already have seized your home computer and found many programs on it.
>shit
>You are facing espionage charges
>for what
>Downloading and distributing a Top Secret Government file
>Never downloaded shit
>search me
>Find the floppy
>Puts it in his bag
>Says my parents have to come to hear this
>he leaves and the other agent is on his laptop
>I sneak and steal the floppy
>Parents come and I get released onsite
>Go to class and everyone is just awestruck
>Small private school 150 students
>Word spreads fast.
>I then get on my back and pedal so fast home I swear the chain was orange.
>Take the floppy and hide it under a Bellsouth payphone, just enough room. No one can notice it.

Continuing.....

>>15621109
Need more meat daddy!

>>15621109
>Sneak out late at night and break into the lab
>Look at the textfile
>All gibberish
>just nonsense. This is how it went (Dark snake, baseball car run flat ball.)
>Log back into server
>Total different server
>DDNET 4 CONDITION: RED
>that is what it would look like when you log in
>Kinda like a bbs
>I see chat (.12
>Type 12 and see 1 person connected
>He asked how I found this server
>I ask him the same
>No response
>He says I know who you are
>Prove it
>He writes my initials "GFP"
>Tell him he is correct and what does he want
>Wants to know how I found the server
>I know the consequences
>Espionage, could be a honey pot
>Ask what he will return
>He said he will erase my record and any warrant
>Currently had 2 from the FBI
>Gone
>He asks how
>I tell him about the whole ip
>He tells me he coded that program and sent it to a computer on his network
>He said the hdd and program was meant for me to find it
>He told me to take the hdd out and run
>Gave me Cords
>I take the hdd out and go to the cords
>Just a junked up shitty trailer
>He said open a door be smart he also said
>2 doors
>Front and back
>Front really open
>back really crudded
>go to the back
>There is a telco line and electric wire running from the telephone pole to the trailer
>I open it and find advanced computer hardware
>Custom coded operating systems
>find a computer with a dialogue up and says did you find me
>I type yes
>Welcome he says
>What
>He said this is where everything that you ever wanted to know about is right here.
>I go home
>I see a dark car parked in front of my house every night for a month
>Than notice a man step out and drop a note
>Watch him pull away
>Grab my dads m14 and load it
>Grab the note and run back to my room
>I see the note and it has a number on it
something like this 103-xxx-xxxx *3 +9
>A blank deadline comes up I enter 3 followed by 9 it disconnected
I did 3 * 3 + 9 = 18
>enter 18 and it dials me to a man
>hello
Continuing........

>>15621162
>I tell him a man dropped this number in front of my house.
>says noting
>I asked what he wanted
>He said you
>Says watch out bud ol man
>thats what my dad calls me
>hangs up on me
>go to school
>get pulled out of class and told my dad has died from a stray bullet.
Total bullshit
>Too worried about this government bullshit
>Call the number back and ask why they killed my dad
>He said we want you
>said no
>He says alright gabe
>not my name but my older brother called me that and I hated it because it sounded like I was gay
>Next day my brother was beaten to near death
>He was supposed to die as what the telephone man says but his time will come.
>Go back to the trailer
>Find the man still waiting for me to reply
>Tell him what has happened
>he knows
>Tells me this is how it starts
>only way is to read textfile 12end
>read it
2 ways out
>Suicide or give in
>I call back and tell him I am ready
>He said a car will be at my house shortly
>It arrives and I get in
>I get blindfolded and knocked out
>wake up in a metal chair
>ask me a question what does 12 mean
>I have no clue
>Tells me
>12 is a series of numbers sent here from a different universe.
>it goes like this
12......12........12.....12....12............................12...............12.12.12.12121212......
>each dot represent days
>I don't remember how many days but I know at the end it was like 5 12's
>Drop me off at my house
>I am very confused
>I go get counseled for years
>No one believed me
>I know what happened
>My mom does too
>The office ladies know that the Fbi pulled me out of class
>My old neighbor knew about the car
>Still never happened
>wish I had proof
>Hdd and payphone both disappeared one day

Trailer is still at the site when I visited 6 years ago
I assume the man at the other end of the computer is dead.
Trailer is dead though, no electric or telco wire
Everything is still there

Would give a more indepth story but I cannot

Wish I could show proof

>>15621203
I am still scared even though noting has happened to me

I still have a dark vehicle park by my house every now and than.

I am sure I will be dead the next time I go to the trailer.

I am going to download everything and see what happens.

I have been so paranoid I have been thinking of suicide, I won't kill myself though.


I wish good luck too all

File: win95-5.png (14KB, 500x313px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 500x313px

>>15615969

>>15615969
>aleum
What is that

>>15621216
>>15621203
>>15621162
>>15621109
Please ask questions

>>15621241what do you think that was all about? what was so important about that file that they had to kill your dad?

>>15621241
Is my girlfriend cheating on me?

>>15621252
I personally think that they had thought I downloaded a different file. They knew where the file and I were at all times. Whatever was on that file I downloaded was big. It has a huge deal concerning the USA.

I forgot to mention my brother said the attacker was a male that was pale and expressed no emotion. His eyebrows were shaved his head was bald and he had no hair on his head. His eyes were also blue. He said a very beautiful blue he has never seen before.

>>15616039
>NEET
>Working

U wot?

>be me
>april fools day
>sitting at home, scrolling through an april fools day thread (not on 4chan)
>"you have to check this video out lol"
>youtube link - click on it
>youtube video opens, pretty boring video. can't remember what it's about. some people where in a desert or something
>boring as fuck, close video
>suddenly a new tab opens
>screamer
>shit my pants

I still don't know what the fuck happened and I'm still scared of youtube links

>>15621241

>250gb floppy disk

My sides are in orbit with prior anons

>>15621371
I meant mb shit sorry. There is no such thing

>>15618352
when i was 5 i fantasized about being naked and trapped in a dungeon while some old man watched me and encouraged me to wet myself over an intercom ;__;

>>15621396
>be me lurking
>this post
Can'tbreathecauselaughingtoohard.jpg

>>15621418
my mom was in the shower and i really had to pee

>>15618316
o.o i live in central illinois

>>15618139
Bros!!!!! SKIIIIIIII!!!!!!

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344KB, 500x405px

>>15621391
>>15621391
there is no such thing as your story.
it was a good read though

>>15618316
You sound extremely airheaded and obese.

>>15621109
>250 gb floppy
>floppy
You are so full of shit. They held at best a few megabytes, never anything close to gigs.

>>15620424
this

>>15604766
>so I google girls smelly feet
I'm a footfag and you lost me there nigga

>>15616039
your a NET, then, not a NEET. (Not in Education, Employment, or Training)

>>15621396
>>15621418
When I was five I fantasized about being hypnotized and/or raped by minotaurs in a dungeon. Or sometimes werewolves or anything really masculine and animal-like. I'm dead serious.