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house-sitting story
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You are currently reading a thread in /x/ - Paranormal

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File: ranchington.jpg (117 KB, 666x499) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>Be 2006, in Colorado.
>Fresh outta high school
>Parents demand I college up or move out
>Can't decide direction I want to take with life, opt for the move out.
>Parents honestly pretty cool about it, besides the kicking me out thing.
>No moonies for rent, no friends with extra space.
>Ask extended family for help.
>Crazy ass uncle lives out in the country in a little ranch house.
>Haven't seen him since I was 12.
>Apparently he has social anxiety and has panic attacks in crowded areas, so he moved out to the country.
>I still thought he was cool.
>Didn't even think to call him, but my other uncle informed him of my predicament.
>He calls me.
>"ANON! it's been so long blah blah blah you were always my favorite nephew blah blah blah heard you had to move out, blah blah blah, good news!"
>"I'm going on vacation for a few months! But I need someone to house sit for me."
>Uh huh, uh huh.
>"There's $5000 in it for you. Plus a roof over your head for a few months."
>Holy shit, what
>"Yeah" he says "Think of it as payment, and a late graduation present! You're gonna have to spend some of it on groceries, though."
>Like the good little jew that I am, I unquestioningly agree at the mention of money.
>Pack some clothes, some toiletries and shit, parents agree to let me keep the rest of my shit in the house for now.
>Head out into the ranch-tastic part of the state

I know I haven't gotten to the SPOOPY bit yet, but gimme a minute
>>
>>15089198
you've had nine minutes, now make with the story.
>>
bump. because jews
>>
cont'd

>Arrive 3 days after the call with minimal baggage, uncle is full mountain-man mode.
>Huge bushy beard, 6'4'', layers of fat and muscle.
>We hug, kind of uncomfortably, he thanks me, congratulates me on graduating, offers some financial and life advice while he shows me around the house and grounds, and we talk for a few hours.
>"Now, about the house."
>Let'sgetdowntobusiness.jpg
>"Haven't had a an animal bigger than a dog on this property for nearly 5 years. Honestly, I'm just living here for the scenery and isolation. So no animal care to deal with. There's a few stray cats, but they fend for themselves and don't hurt anything, so just leave 'em be."
>If there's no animals and no neighbors, why do you even need a house sitter?
>"Oh, there's always nosy kids looking for kicks. And spics."
>Uncomfortably laugh off the blatant racism.
>"Then, there're the coons. Digging through the trash, shitting on the porch. You wanna scare 'em off whenever you can."
>Oh thank god, he isn't talking about black people.
>"There hasn't been anything else weird, except..."
>Oh no, here comes the but.
>"But..."
>God damn it.
>"Some stuff will sometimes get moved around or carried away from the house. Garbage lids, shovels, old farming equipment. It's no big deal. Just don't freak out if you wake up and see a shovel laying out on the edge of the woods hah hah."
>Yeah, hah hah.
>He leaves that night.
>Night 1:
>I sleep in a guest bedroom by the backdoor.
>Hear some rummaging around, figure it's just the raccoons.
>Yell at them.
>Rummaging stops.
>Sleep peacefully.
>Day 1:
>Wake up the next morning, all the shovels and shit that were in the shed, the door to which was shut tight (But not locked), are scattered around the front yard, a few even stuck into the earth.
>Figured it was just the uncle trying to fuck with me before he left.
>Stick tools back in shed, actually lock it up.
>Clean up mess by the garbage bins, presumably left by raccoons.
>Other than that, uneventful.
>>
>>15089268
Second bump, because you actually seem like a decent writer.
>>
>>15089268
Cont'd

>Night 2: Decide to stay up a little later, watch a movie or two.
>Check Uncle's DVD library.
>Nothing but "Bob Ross' The Joy of Painting" DVDs and films made by either Michael Bay or M. Night Shamalamadingdong.
>Fuck it, decide to watch Signs.
>In the middle of the movie, around 11, I hear the rummaging again.
>Freaks me out, then regain my grasp on reality and shout at the stupid god damn raccoons.
>Rummaging stops.
>a minute later, it starts up again.
>Shout again.
>Ignored.
>Grab broom from closet, pause Signs.
>Muster my courage and swing back door open, wildly swinging the broom and wailing.
>Forgot to turn on porch light first.
>Ohshit.jpg
>Trip on some trash, stumble forward and bash head on porch banister.
>Garbage bin lids clatter to the floor, hear something scurry off into the night.
>Regain composure, curse loudly, turn on light.
>Garbage is neatly piled beside the bins.
>Think to myself, these are some police ass raccoons. Put garbage back in bins, get some ice for my head.
>Go back inside, finish signs, fall asleep.
>>
I'm with you OP. Don't stop.
>>
>>15089198
Bumping for potential
>>
Gonna go By day/night number now, to help with the character limit and with the fact that I'm doing laundry while I type this and need to pay attention.

>>15089317
Cont'd

>Day 2:
>Wake up, make some cereal.
>I notice the back door is open slightly.
>Could've sworn I shut it last night, but I don't remember locking it.
>Shut it tight this time, watch some cartoons in the living room, then gear up for a grocery run.
>Outside, the shovels are all lined up against the side of the shed.
>The shed door is shut.
>Lock still securely in place.
>What the fuck.
>Have minor freak out.
>eventually rationalize that there must be a hobo or something borrowing or stealing from the shed. It gets pretty cold at night, maybe he sleeps in there.
>But how'd he get inside? The door was locked.
>Examine shed.
>The sheet metal that makes up the back wall came loose at the right corner, you could lift it up and head right in.
>Nail it shut again.
>Unlock shed, return shovels, lock shed back up again.
>Go back to the house, make sure everything's locked up, tight.
>Good to go.
>Head to closest grocery store.
>Cashier makes small talk.
>Mention I'm house sitting for [uncle name here].
>Cashier gets real quiet.
>"What's wrong?" I ask.
>Expect some bullshit local legend about his ranch being an Indian burial ground.
>"No offense, but your uncle is... really, really racist. And kind of an asshole."
>My sigh of relief disturbed him.
>"Yeah, I know, but he's family." I say. "Besides, I think there's a homeless guy living on the property, so someone has to watch the place."
>Cashier gives me a funny look. "Homeless?"
>Is that weird?
>"Well, kinda." He explains. "For one thing, there's a homeless shelter in town that's well stocked.And if any of those crazy ass rednecks out in the ranch land caught a hobo on their property, they'd probably shoot him on sight."
>Shrug it off as the guy having a bias against farmers and ranchers
>Return to the ranch, nothing happens for the rest of the week.
>>
Come on OP keep it coming
>>
yes. keep them coming
>>
read this entire.story on.nosleep
>>
im with you op, keep it going!
>>
The rest of Week 1 was uneventful, not even any rummaging or tool scattering. Occasionally, when I was doing chores on the grounds or just hanging around outside, I got the eerie feeling I was being watched. I wrote it off as owls, cats, or maybe that hobo from before.
I arrived on a Sunday, I guess I should specify.
So, Night 1 is sunday night, day 1 is monday, night 2 is monday night, day 2 is tuesday et cetera, et cetera.
Realized that might confuse some people, so I felt the need to explain.
It wasn't for 5 or so more days that weird shit picked up again.
I'll put up the next little incident in another post real quick, then type up the next one when I can.
>>
>>15089363

>Night 8:
>Been getting more at home in the ranch, exploring other rooms, exercising in the exercise room, eating in the dining room, place feels nice and homey.
>That day I noticed the stray cats that my uncle had mentioned.
>They lived in a little dilapidated farmhouse on the edge of the property.
>Probably fed on mice or voles or some shit.
>I love cats, and I'm an idiot, so just before nightfall, I leave a saucer of milk by the front door.
>That night, I'm packing it in after a nice bubble bath, ready to hit the hay, when the rummaging returns, with a vengeance.
>It's louder than before, at first, then quiets down. Still, I can hear it. Just barely.
>Thoroughly tired of the 'coons' collective shit, I decide to go spook these motherfuckers.
>Brace myself by the backdoor.
>In one skillfull motion: flip on the porch light, throw myself out of the door, expecting the coons to scurry out into the field.
>Rummaging stops.
>No bin clatter.
>No scurrying.
>Pause for a minute, then lower the rifle and look at the bins.
>The lids are neatly placed on the porch banister.
>Most of the trash is still in the bins.
>except...
>Except for some plastic bottles, some aluminum cans, and a newspaper.
>All the stuff I usually separated out of the trash to put in the recycling bins.
>I had been lazy that day and probably missed some stuff.
>Glance around the grounds, taking in what I can see in the halo of the porch light.
>Nothing.
>No coons, no cats, no hobos.
>I clean up the bins, stick the recyclables in the recycling bins, then lock up for the night.
>I don't sleep very well that night.
>>
>>15089268
>spics
>coons

What is this, tumblr now?
>>
>>15089482
My sides. they hurt lol

>>15089469
Continue your freaky tale of blacks and trash cleanup
>>
>>15089469
A spoopy creature that cares about recycling, this story is getting odd.
>>
>>15089469

>Day 8:
>Still thoroughly spooked by last night's garbage rummage.
>Shakily bathe myself, eat a nice pancake and hashbrown breakfast, watch the news, pretty much do as much "normal" stuff as I can, to calm myself down.
>Around 11 in the morning, I decide to get some chores done.
>Open front door.
>Forgot about my milk saucer from Night 8.
>It's empty.
>Sweet, I think, the cats came close to the house.
>I take the saucer in, and do my chores.
>Take out trash, separate recyclables, clean out shed of any dust or trash, make sure nothing's leaking so nothing rusts.
>Clean the lawn of debris, wash my uncle's boat (Only had to do that once a week, but he specified that he really wanted it done, so I obliged.)
>Swing by the rickety ass farmhouse.
>Been 2spooked to check it out up until now.
>Besides, the place looks like it could collapse at any time.
>Cautiously open the door.
>Just dirt, some weeds, and a bunch of rotten wood and rusted old tools.
>Not a cat to be seen or heard.
>Or an owl.
>Or a rat or mouse or vole.
>That strikes me as somewhat odd.
>Other than that, the day went well, and I put out another saucer of milk at the end of it. For the cats.
>>
bumpity bump bump
>>
Lovin this shyt so far.
>>
>>15089534
easily pleased or what?
>>
>>15089542
just like ur mother
>>
>>15089542
Mhm
>>
>>15089514
Cont'd again

Night 9:
>Enjoying the soothing sounds and calm demeanor of Bob Ross,
>when suddenly, the rummaging 3: Revenge of the rummaging
>Completely shakes me out of my happy place.
>Get kind of mad, honestly.
>Eye my uncle's gun cabinet.
>There's only an old rifle in there
>He used it to scare off or take down coyotes and shit when there were still animals on the ranch, apparently.
>It's just a .22LR varmint rifle. I think.
>It's unloaded, but well maintained.
>There's some ammo for it.
>Decide against it, figure pulling a gun on imaginary ghosts is one step too close to the deep end.
>Flick the back porch light on and off and scream.
>Rummaging stops.
>Again, no bin clatter. No scurrying.
>Wait a minute.
>It starts up again.
>Sigh heavily.
>Audibly say "C'mon guys, just fuck off already."
>Rummaging stops again.
>Quiet.
>Very faint sounds, kind of like... running water? I guess.
>Then, the lids bang down.
>I hear tiny movements, that slowly fade away.
>My eyes are wide as dinner plates as I hang out by the back door for 10, maybe 20 minutes, losing my mind.
>It fucking heard me.
>It heard me and it understood me and it wasn't a fucking person and it sure as hell wasn't a god damned raccoon.
>Finally peek out into the porch.
>The lids are on the bins.
>Shut the door tight. Lock it. Then lock it again, just to make sure.
>I toss and turn all night, imagining tiny fucking homeless gremlins rummaging through my trash.
>>
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bamp
>>
>>15089542
>>15089549
Can confirm: his mother is easily pleased, and is as dirty as a Kazakhstani suitcase nuke.
>>
>>15089588
fucking kek'd
>>
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Someone said varmint rifle?

Why don't you give it a shot, see if you can't hit those coons.
>>
bumpity bump
>>
I need to know more about the Recyclacabra.
>>
>>15089580

>Day 9
>The morning was hard for me, and I'm not just talking about my dick.
>I tried my best to pretend nothing happened, that nothing was weird, but I just couldn't do it.
>I ended up making another run into town.
>I didn't even do any of my chores before leaving.
>As I left the ranch, I noticed the milk saucer was cleaned out again.
>I smile, and imagine how stoked the cats must be to get some fresh cowjuice.
>My mind turns for a minute and suddenly I'm imagining little fucking goblins slurping up the shit as they keep the cats at bay.
>Shake it off, and even refill the saucer before I take off.
>I buy some more supplies, some more food, and even rent a few new DVDs.
>Bob's great and all, but I needed some stronger escapism.
>I talk to pretty much every buddy.
>It's only been a week and a half, but I feel like staying up there on the ranch all alone was making me go stir crazy.
>I end up staying in town for a few hours, just wandering around.
>When I get back in the car, I realize I'm anxious. I'm legitimately frightened of spending another night at the ranch house.
>Call myself a pussy bitch, since I am one, and psyche myself up for the return.
>You feel great, everything's fine, and even if there were little hobo elves going through your trash and drinking milk, who gives a shit, they're Americans, and that's their business.
>Laugh a little and head back up to the ranch.
>The milk's still in the saucer.
>I leave it out, disappointed.
>Stock the house up.
>Break out a bottle of whisky from my uncle's liquor cabinet.
>He said I could have one, just one.
>I'd had a drink or two before, but never really gotten drunk.
>Figure it's about time that changed.
>>
Posting in a pyscopath thread
>>
>>15089629
moar OP
>>
God damn milk stealing hobo coons.
>>
>>15089629

>Night 10
>Honestly, I don't remember this night too well.
>I drank 3 or 4 shots of whisky.
>Had a swig of it straight from the mouth, just to see how it felt.
>Ended up drinking about a fifth or fourth of the bottle.
>I watched Meet the Fockers
>That movie was god damned awful, but I remember laughing at it.
>I passed out half way through, whisky still open, lights still on.
>>
>>15089317
>Grab broom from closet, pause Signs

hahahaha
>>
>>15089629
Drinking alcohol while anxious.....
Recipe for disaster.
>>
>>15089661
ALCOHOL MAKES YOU... STRONGER!
>>
>>15089666
Sure Satan, but it makes everything stronger, including anxiety.
>>
>>15089666
Thank you based Satan
>>
Bump!
>>
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>>15089198
i need you now
ill be watching vids til you post more
starting to get spoopky af
>>
>>15089695
what vids u watchin man
im bored also, would appreciate some nice videos
>>
>>15089695
>>15089697
Seconding this
>>
>>15089629
>>The morning was hard for me, and I'm not just talking about my dick.
kek'd
>>
>>15089697
try watching jontron, he's funny
or just shitsearch like i do when im bored
>>
>>15089704
his videos are... retarded
>>
>>15089661
Could've gone way worse than it did, I have to admit. Especially with an easily loaded gun in the house.

>>15089656

>Day 10
>Clean up the couch and living room.
>Popcorn everywhere, whisky spilt, drool all over the cushions.
>Feel like an ass.
>Also feel like shit, really irritating headache, mouth dry as hell, sore throat, and sore joints from sleeping in a stupid position.
>Get done, decide to pick up on my chores.
>Open front door, milk saucer is emptied.
>Makes sense, cats are nocturnal.
>Only seen them once or twice during the day.
>Oh well, back to chores.
>No reason to take the trash to the curb, garbage collectors won't be here for another 3 or 4 days.
>Clear branches and shit out of the lawn, notice it's getting kind of long, make a note to mow it.
>Carry branches and twigs to the edge of the wooded area out back of the house.
>Turn my back, when I get goosebumps.
>feels like I'm being watched.
>Turn into the woods.
>The sensation stops.
>I don't see anything.
>I relax for a minute, before realizing that I don't see anything at all.
>There's no owls or birds in the trees, no insects, no rodents.
>The only animal noises sound like they're coming from maybe a quarter mile away.
>Notice a little clearing in the woods.
>Just a few yards in.
>Stumble through the woods.
>There's a fairy ring in the dead center of it.
>A perfect circle of mushrooms.
>I get the "being watched" sensation again.
>Clear the fuck outta there, panicking slightly.
>Regain composure, head out to shed.
>Shovels lined up by the side.
>NO. I yell in my own head.
>NOOOOOO. YOU DON'T GET TO. I don't remember whether I shouted out loud or just thought really angrily in my own head.
>Lock still on shed door.
>Circle around back.
>The open flap was there again, and the nails I used to seal it up were stacked in a neat pile beside the shed.
>God DAMN IT.
>Pick up nails, put shovels in shed.
>Freak out. Head back into house.
>Don't leave for the rest of the day.
>>
>play lfd2 with friend
>2 chainsaws
>duel 2 death
>lose
>go to their home
>shoot them with spaghetti dick
>smoke crack
>today good day
>>
>>15089695
>>15089697
It's kind of complicated, but worth it if you stick to it through the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh7lp9umG2I
>>
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>>15089711
>>
>>15089706
well for some good pranks (they have alot of gone wrongs) look up PPJT
>>
>>15089707
I'm not trying to piss on your parade or anything, but mushrooms growing in circles are normal and not paranormal. They grow in rings because the mycelium is spreading in all directions at once.
>>
Keep going op keep goin!
>>
>>15089732
I want to believe
>>
>>15089732
way to spoil the mystery there smartypants...

another one of my childhood fantasy beliefs crushed and ruined by the internets..

thanks a lot anon, I hope yur happy
>>
>>15089732
...And trash separates itself from recycling, due to the magnetic activity in areas that don't consume as much power as in a city. Go away shill
>>
Baaampping
>>
>>15089743
>>15089732
>2014
>not having partially sapient trash and recycling recepticles that sort things for you
>being this pleb
Go home, poorfag.
>>
>>15089743
that bullshit sounds almost barely believable
>>
>>15089736
I never said anything about the existence of faeries, I was just talking about the mushrooms.
>>15089741
Still not trying to disprove faeries, I've seen danish gnomes(nisser) so who am I to discount faeries?
>>15089743
Nah that part of the story definitely is weird, not trying to disprove anything. I just wanted to elaborate on the mushrooms.
>>
>>15089745
poop
>>
>>15089707

>For the rest of the week I barely leave the house.
>I just didn't feel safe anymore.
>I watch movies, watch the news, eat.
>Whenever I was out there, I felt watched.
>I was really unhappy and considered bailing on my uncle, or maybe not doing the chores, but decided against it. He gave me 5000 fucking dollars and I was gonna do my god damned job.
>I perform my chores with MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY.
>I spend no unnecessary time outside. I take out the trash when it needs to go out, clean the shed, wash his boat, and clean the lawn of debris.
>The only thing I don't do is take the twigs and branches out to the woods. I just can't bring myself to go out there. I pile them up off the back porch.
>The only events that occur are rummaging on the back porch every few nights.
>And every time it happens, I eye the rifle and have to talk myself out of loading it and firing randomly into the dark off the back porch.
>During this time, I slowly drink the rest of the whisky.
>I even consider opening a new bottle, but manage to control myself.
>Eventually, I realize I haven't left milk out for the cats in a while. I imagine the little kitties out there with whatever the fuck else was out there. I imagine them thirsty or hungry. I can't deal with that guilt.
>On day 15 or so, I decide it must be done.
>I leave out a saucer of milk.
>The night is uneventful.
>That morning, I get ready for my maximally efficient chore run.
>I open the front door.
>Sitting there, piled neatly beside the empty milks saucer, is a bunch of shiny pebbles, bottle caps, and random coins.
>>
>>15089750

that's /x/ ... where we few random scientific lingoisms and fuzzy logic create more new urban legends,... one thread at atime
>>
>>15089754
Danish gnomes?
go on
>>
>>15089750
Not at all, there would be less electromagnetic activity than in a city.
>>
>>15089759
fuckin niggers droppin their shit by your porch
>>
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>>15089768

I used to collect gnomes while wandering the wastelands
>>
>>15089772
Who said there was more?
>>
>>15089775
btw
this is not the best thread ive read, but its definetely interesting.
>>
>>15089775
>2014
>not being educated in inter-species free market fey economics
>>
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>>15089784

I used to collect these to..
>>
>>15089759
>I stare at the pile of items beside the milk dish
>Couldn't believe my eyes
>Start screaming at nothing
>DON'T COME NEAR ME OR MY PLACE
>I'LL KILL YOU I HAVE A GUN
>Go to my uncles case and grab the gun
>Load it
>I'm ready, never fired a gun in my life but I'm scared and it's my only protection.
>Just then hear rummaging again in the trash bins
>Open up the back door and shoot
>Hear something collapse against the outside wall
>I open the door
>get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur
>>
>>15089768
Not much of a story really. I was taking a walk in some woods near my home, that weren't used much by other people. I decided to go off the deer trail I was on and I noticed a little green pointy hat moving about in the undergrowth. I stood very still and just looked at it move about. Another little green hat joined it and they both poked their faces out between the leaves. They looked at me for a bit and then they ran off. I didn't know how they'd take me seeing them. So I just spoke out loud in a calm voice that I meant them no harm and that I wouldn't be bothering them again.
>>
>>15089784
Not impressed. There are definitely more gnomes than that in the game.
>>
>>15089732
Yeah, I know there's a natural explanation for them. I mean, I didn't at the time, which is why I freaked out so badly, but I did some research after and realized. There was something off about the forest in general, though. I didn't like it. It was silent and still. The fairy ring was just what my spook-riddled mind focused on. Thank you for trying to calm me down, though.

>>15089759

>Day 15:
>The previously stated happens, but I'm more confused and curious than scared this time.
>Something about receiving what seems like compensation for the milk made me think that whatever I was dealing with had some sort of almost human rationality to it, assuming something spoopy was actually happening (which I honestly did at the time)
>I don't let it get to me.
>I do my chore run.
>Eventually get to the shed.
>I had been putting it off, worried about what might be there.
>The answer was... nothing.
>No shovels, no anything.
>I check the back of the shed.
>I had nailed it up again about 2 days after my shovel freakout.
>Nails still in place.
>I sit there for a minute, then decide something more drastic must be done.
>I end up spending 2 hours soldering the flap in place and making sure there are no other weaknesses in the structure.
>Then, I walk around the edge of the property.
>I examine the farmhouse, the wooded area, old, discarded equipment, whatever I can find.
>There's no signs of a human dicking with any of it.
>Aside from the sticks I chucked into the woods, the whole perimeter seemed to have been untampered with for years.
>No broken twigs, no stamped down earth, no adjusted branches, no turned over equipment.
>I head back to the house, and leave out another saucer of milk.
>Then, I sit by the front door.
>Pull up a chair.
>And wait.
>>
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>>15089759
OP your Uncle has Brownies
>>
>>15089784
>>15089792
What the fuck.
>>
>>15089790
check ur fey privilege, cisshit scum
>>
>>15089800
>I didn't like it. It was silent and still

at first my brain read this as: "it was like Silent Hill...."
>>
>>15089802
Brownies? Wat?
>>
>>15089775
this is what i mean by niggers
>>
>>15089821
Same principle as gnomes really, they are from Irish/Scottish folklore. They tend to help out around the house and are fond of food gifts. If you thank them or give them new clothes they will get angry and leave. If you really manage to piss them off they make sure stuff goes missing and cause accidents.
>>
>>15089792
>too
>>
>>15089821
>Brownies? Wat?
There are terrible things in between worlds, anon.
>>
bumpity bump
>>
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>>15089833
>terrible things
>>
OP You dead yet? If not get a gopro and go explore the fucking forest
>>
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>>15089821
http://astrologyguide.knoji.com/fairy-folk-the-brownie/
>Brownies are domestic Fairies. They are good-natured generous folk who are happy to lend a hand to those in need and ask for nothing more than a little milk and bread in return.
>>
>>15089830
Learned something new today. Asked my gf about them (she's Scottish) and she got really excited
>>
>>15089843
>Be 2006, in Colorado.
>>
>>15089830
> if you thank them they get angry and leave
they sound like dicks
>>
>>15089843
>Be 2006
>get a gopro

gg fag
>>
>>15089800

>Night 15:
>I stay up all night.
>All fucking night.
>I only leave to use the bathroom, or make myself a pot of coffee.
>Early on, I have a moment of brilliance.
>I get some flour from the pantry.
>Take a deep breath and open the door.
>Milk saucer still full.
>Not a cat, rat, or fucking hobgoblin in sight.
>I sprinkle flour all over the porch.
>I mean fucking everywhere.
>The rest of the time, I sit there, in still silence, and I listen.
>I hear owls hooting far away, and rustling of trees in the wind.
>No crickets, though.
>I jump at every louder than average hoot and every gust of wind.
>All night, I sit there and wait.
>Sunrise comes. I stand up and I am nerve wracked, and tired.
>I open the door.
>Milk saucer empty? Check.
>Pile of random shiny crap? Nope.
>But one thing was off about the porch.
>The flour was gone.
>I don't mean like the wind shifted it or something.
>I mean it was completely gone, cleaned off the porch, without a trace.
>I didn't leave the door alone for more than 4 or 5 minutes at any time.
>They didn't make a god damned sound, and they didn't leave a fucking trace
>>
>>15089852
>>15089848
My bad, read this too intensively thought it happened couple of days ago
>>
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>>15089853
>>Not a cat, rat, or fucking hobgoblin in sight.
>>
>>15089853
hey man can something happen in your story soon please
thanks
>>
>>15089853
spooped me bad
>>
>>15089867
this
>>
>>15089849
When you say thank you to them, you are basically insulting them. They do work around the house because they feel connected to the house and the people living there. When you thank them it's like you're saying they don't belong there and that they aren't doing chores like a person who belongs to the household.
>>15089847
Did she have some cool stuff to add on the subject, I only know what I've read about them.
>>
>>15089198
>>Be 2006

OP confirmed for vampire
>>
>>15089862
If you read it too intensively you would have saw that he said 2006, fag
>>
>>15089878
Jesus no need to start a war dude
>>
>>15089886
peace was never an option
>>
>>15089892
>guy made a mistake
>cant handle it
>overreacts
>says peace was never an option
>>
>>15089853
That sound be Night 16, not Night 15, my bad. I knew I was going to fuck that up at some point.

>Day 16:
>I don't go back to sleep.
>I do my chores, then make a supply run into town.
>Supply run is uneventful.
>Return is, too.
>In fact, the rest of my stay is almost completely uneventful.
>I don't leave out any more milk.
>I leave no chores undone or incomplete.
>I separate the recycling.
>The rummaging happens every few nights, and when it does I remain silent and let it or them or whatever the fuck have its way with the trash.
>The next morning, the back porch is always clean of debris, and the trash bins are exactly how I left them.
>The shed remains unmolested.
>The porch is left largely alone.
>I make supply runs as frequently and for as long as I can.
>I end up spending extended periods of time in town, just dicking around wherever people will have me.
>It's refreshing, and it's the only time I don't feel like a fucking crazy person.
>The return always fills me with dread, since I still feel almost perpetually watched on the grounds, but I always go back.
>Uncle even calls to check in.
>I tell him everything's fine, except that some weird stuff had happened with the shed.
>He says it must be a really dedicated hobo, and that he'll have the sheriff check it out when he gets back.
>"Best just to ignore it and lock up tight every night." he says.
>"Yeah," I say, nonchalantly.
>Only one other creepy thing happened.
>but it was what fucking broke me and made me swear to myself that I wasn't coming back to that fucking ranch ever again.
>>
holy shit bummpity
>>
>>15089897
do tell
>>
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WELL TELL US WTF IT IS ALREADY OP JESUS
>>
>>15089897
Cliffhanger/10
Let's hear it OP
>>
>>15089897
we're getting shuper sherial now guuies
>>
>>15089897
type all of this up before hand faggot
>>
>>15089897
Did you finally see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?
>>
>>15089897
Cliffhanger for the win, I've been putting off sleep for this thread. I am anticipating the conclusion.
>>
>>15089853
could have dew building up on the porch over night and into the morning OP, depending on how thickly you coated the flour it would make sense for it to be all gone.
>>
>>15089913
you're not the only one
>>
cliffhanger?

5spooky3me
>>
>>15089912
kek
>>
>>15089912
But that's candy for breakfast.
>>
>>15089897
shouldve coated the porch with cocaine
kill those fuckin nigger hobo hobgoblins
>>
>>15089930
this
>>
>>15089916
Heavy rain might remove the flour, dew would just make it sticky.
>>
>>15089916
Do you know what flour is?
>>
>>15089911
>>
>>15089930
hobogoblins?
>>
>>15089930

Depends on what his uncle's cocaine policy was. He only had the one bottle of whiskey, after all.
>>
Out of character, and I would like to say very good story, OP.

Now, back I. Character it's pretty clear you have Brownies or some such British shit, or maybe Kobolds. You could leave a not by the saucer asking for chores to be done, because this far it looms like they're just stealing your milk and lining up shovels in return.

Unless the shovels are being used for something?
>>
>>15089897

>Day 50ish?
>I have become the ultimate automoton.
>All I do while I'm on the grounds is do chores, eat, and watch Scrubs, Seinfeld, and Bob Ross, then I go to sleep.
>I've started calling out to the cats when I see them.
>I coax them towards me with slices of chicken or turkey.
>They never come close enough to pet, but sometimes I leave the sandwich meat down, and walk away, then get to watch them take it.
>There's 3 or 4 cats, that all look kind of similar.
>I like them, but they're probably close to feral, and shouldn't be treated like pets.
>Too bad I'm an idiot.
>I manage to coax one within arms reach of me, and offer it the turkey.
>It takes it, and I am so fucking stoked.
>I reach out to scratch it behind the ear.
>As soon as I touch it, it flips the fuck out, and claws my hand.
>I bolt straight up and yell, and kick at the cat.
>I should've seen that coming, I know, and it's not the cat's fault, but I was pissed.
>I curse and scream about rabies as the cat darts off towards the old farm house.
>I feel bad for the rest of the day.
>The guilt really gets to me.
>I resolve to leave some milk out one last time, this time right next to the barn to make sure the cats get to it before... whatever has been digging through my trash and leaving me shekels does.
>In the evening, I leave the milk next to the barn.
>I check on it every once in a while through the kitchen window, but the cat never comes out.

Night 51(ish) wasn't eventful. Day 51 was when I couldn't take it anymore.
>>
>>15089949
nigga i swear u best be fukn serious about shit happnin soon
>>
>>15089949
if yar next post aint aboot dat fooken spoop shyt


ill bash yer fooken hed in m8 i sware on me mum
>>
OP if you fucking walk the dinosaur...
>>
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>>15089908
Watch it be Man-Bear-Pig behind all of it.
>>
>>15089953
that file name made me kek
>>
zzzzzzzz
>>
>>15089961
It was that or black-man-in-contempt-of-court
>>
>>15089949

Day 51,
>I open the front door.
>There's the cat, the same cat that scratched me the day before.
>It's laying on the edge of the porch with its head crushed in.
>There's no blood on the porch or the walkway or in the grass.
>I puke.
>I freak out.
>I grab the rifle, load it and scream off the front porch for an hour, aiming it at anything that rustles or moves but never pulling the trigger.
>Finally, I calm down.
>I head to the shed to get a shovel to dig it a grave.
>There's a hammer propped up against the edge of the shed. Completely clean.
>I check by the farmhouse.
>The milk saucer's empty again.

I slept with the rifle loaded and within arm's reach for the rest of my stay there.
>>
Do I sleep or wait... Fucking communism
>>
>>15089949
AND IF THIS IS FUCKING FAKE ILL FIND YOUR FUCKING ADDRESS BITCH
>>
BUMP
>>
Faeries bro's.
They got that bastard for you anon.
>>
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>>15089970
Wow dude
>>
>See OP
>no green text
>Disappoint
>2 secs later, no fucks given
>write green text story
>copy, paste
>internet crashes
>doorbell rings
>go to door
>answer
>annoying neighbor kid
>“wat do u want?
>”I need about tree fiddy"
>notice kid is actually 8 stories tall from the palezoic era
>walk back in the door
>get on the floor
>everyone walk the dinosaur
>contemplate existence
>feelsbadman.jpg
>remember I’m a dog
>hot girl I know walks in
>huge dog boner
>go hump her leg
>she pushes me off
>remember I’m a human
>spaghetti starts flying out of my pockets
>use spaghetti to jump rope
>Guard breaks down door
>“Stop right there, criminal scum!”
>stabs girl
>Shrek runs in
>“This is so ogre”
>Beats Guard to death with an onion
>Guard beta as fuck
>Shrek alpha as fuck
>he then runs off
>wat?
>have the weirdest boner
>Go eat some giga pudding
>die
>use max revive
>tax master runs in
>kill it with fire
>stop coming in my house
>run outside
>see niggas tonging my angus
>keep running
>don’t know what to do
>give up
>so fucking beta
>wake up
>moot banned OP
>moot banned everyone
>just me and him
>realize I’m in the Matrix
>Keanu Reeves
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>Realize I’m turning into an agent
>wake up IRL
>Inception
>Posted results
>>
>>15089970

The creature tried to get into your circle of friends by murdering your adversaries and leaving you Jew-gold, and this is how you repay him?
>>
>>15089986
please go fuck yourself
fail troll
not funny
8 y/o
>>
>>15089970
That ending was worth it. Damn. Your uncle told to leave the cats be. He fucking knew.
>>
>>15089970
I dunno dude, it sounds like something was trying to help you out with the chores without exactly knowing how to do it. It acted protectively of you when it killed the cat. It's not like it did anything aggressive towards you.
>>
>>15089970
barely good
>>
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>>15089970
>>
Too uneventful
night gang
>>
>>15089970
Hobo thought the milk by the barn was a message to clean it out. Clean it out he did. You should go back, even though its been years. Get naked. Then just go spend the night in the wood line. I'm sure nympho nymphs will greet you.
>>
>>15089999
Its.....over. That was it.
>>
Night 52
>trying to sleep, can't
>middle of the night, no rummaging so far
>Almost falling to sleep when someone's knocking on the door
>fuckme.jpg
>grab the rifle
>Open the door, everybody get on the floor
>walk the fucking dinosaur
>>
Holy fucking shit OP you can't do this, hurry and write down the ending
>>
>>15089999

Quads confirms. Invent a good ending, OP.
>>
>>15089970
mate, that was the most dull tale ever spun on /x/
why did you event type that out
it what stage did you think "yes this is a good story, very spooky"
>>
>>15090007
This. That seriously can't be it...
>>
Was that the ending? Nigga you were starting to have a nice relationship to whatever the fuck that was, you bailed on a true bro, that's just low
>>
OP is King Faggot
>>
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>>15090000

your post is uneventful just like this faggots story
>>
>>15089317
>>Muster my courage and swing back door open, wildly swinging the broom and wailing.
>>Forgot to turn on porch light first.
>>Ohshit.jpg
>>Trip on some trash, stumble forward and bash head on porch banister.

HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU?
>>
>>15090017
touché.
>>
>>15090012

What'd you expect? he's a Jew.
>>
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>>15089970
He even killed a cat for you. You're a homogay.
>>
>>15089970

That was it. Sorry if you're dissatisfied with it. I rushed out the ending post because people were getting really antsy in anticipation.
I slept with the rifle the rest of the stay. My uncle came back 8 or so days later. I told him what happened. He still blamed a hobo, but he was shocked and said he'd go to the police as soon as possible. I don't think he ever did.
I got my 5k though. The experience fucked me up, though, and I haven't told anyone else in my family or friend circle about it for fear of them recommending psychological help.
I know it wasn't as dramatic or drastic as some of the other stories you here about... creepy, supernaturalish things.
Everything that happened probably could be explained by animals and one very persistent hobo.
But the feeling... the feeling I had during my stay there made everything feel fantastical and unreal, and it was frightening. I've never gone back, but I still talk to my uncle reasonably frequently.
We've never talked about the incidents during my stay there, especially not about the cat.
The closest we ever came was about a week after I left, and rented an apartment in my hometown. He called me and asked how well I thought I'd soldered the back of the shed. I told him pretty well, I sat around for 2 hours making sure it held. He told me it was opened up again.
>>
was kinda put off by the ending...
>>
>>15090031
> Fantastical
Fucking...
>>
God damnit boy. You probably found Chunk from the goonies or some shit. YOU FUCKED IT UP.
>>
>>15090031
Don't take it too harshly op. People were expecting scary monster and didn't get it, then they got butthurt. For whatever it is worth I found your story interesting. I would've probably acted different from you, but if you don't grow up hearing about this stuff it can be pretty scary.
>>
>>15090031
Dude, didn't you realize that the "thing" was your friend? The guy even cleaned your front porch after you fucked it all up with flour, do you know how hard it is to do that?

That's bro love if I've ever seen it
>>
Did OP ever state if the pic is related?
>>
>>15090053
OP here, I just got it off of google images. I was trying to find the closest thing to the actual house to give people a good idea of what it looked like, but I didn't feel comfortable posting a literal picture or address for it. That's probably just me being paranoid, though.
>>
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>yfw it was joe dirt fucking with you
>>
I can't believe I read that whole fucking story

so lame
>>
>>15089849
Welcome to scotland, where everything and everyone is a dick, and likely to get offended at the sound of your poncy educated voice, Even our mythological creatures are cunts.
>>
>>15090051
>>15090046
>>15090023
>>15090012
>>15089995
>>15089992

I know that... whatever it was, be it hobo, goblin, fairy, or fucking recyclcabra, was trying to help me. I recognize that it appeared to be doing me "favors," and when I look back on it, I know I overreacted and regret not doing... something. Experimenting, I guess.
But it was so unsettling at the time. I'm pretty much a normalfag. I don't do scary stuff besides occasionally browsing /x/. Being waited on by some seemingly invisible force in exchange for saucers of milk was interesting, but fucking scary. It was something unknown, so I panicked. When it killed the cat, I realized that it was... my fault. I got the cat killed. I don't blame whatever the hell lives out there, I just don't want it anywhere near me, because if it can misunderstand my anger and attempt at penance for "He wants me to beat that furry creature to death with a hammer, and I will do this, because we are friends." then I don't want to be responsible for any more "misunderstandings" it and I have.
>>
>>15090000
>>15089999
2 quads in 1 thread
amazing
>>
>>15090084
>recyclcabra
This needs to be a thing.
>>
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I think we can all agree...

The culprit was Mrs.Doubtfire!
I mean if you think about it, her job is to clean shit up, she is a maid after all.
>>
I hear tale from night at pub yesterday in Moscow. Sorry for Badly english.

Mother and father get little tired from building communism so they want to go to Moscow to buy vodka. They call most trusted babysitter. When babysitter arrives children already sleep in beds. Babysitter just sits around and make sure everything good with children. Later that night babysitter gets bored and goes to read Marx but she can't read downstairs because there's no electricity. So she calls parents and ask if she can get candles to read Marx in their room. Of course the parents say it okay, but babysitter has one final request. She ask if she could cover Lenin statue outside bedroom window with a blanket or cloth because it makes her nervous. Phone line is silent for moment and father who say "take children and get out of house. We will call militia. We do not have Lenin statue." Militia find all three of house occupants dead because KGB kill them for trying to cover Lenin statue. Then militia rest parents for not having Lenin statue. Such is life in Moscow.
>>
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OP you're fucking dumb
the creature thing was cleaning your shed
paying you with coins and shekels for the milk
and killing your enemies
HE JUST WANTED TO BE FRIENDS
>>
>>15090099
I was just gona say that. Any drawfags out there wanna whip something up?
>>
House sit for your uncle again.

And why didn't you save any of the shekels of shiny shit? And I get you were poor but couldn't you have got a disposable film camera?
>>
>>15090122
When I hear the name recyclabra I imagine a chupacabra with a little yellow work vest on carrying a brochure about the benefits of recycling.
>>
>>15090135
So let's see it! I would draw something but im on my phone and wont be near my PC anytime soon.
>>
>>15090144
Nah man, I am shit at drawing and I should've gone to bed 4 hours ago.
>>
>>15090150
This will be new ebin maymay.
>>
>>15090128
He has a wife and young son now. Which is good for him, I suppose. But it means they don't really vacation anymore. If they ever did... I would probably take the job. See if I can get similar results to my last stay.
I did save some of them. It's just a bottle cap and some old coins, though.
I thought about taking pictures but I ended up deciding against it. I guess in m head the whole thing was too easily faked, so there was no point in trying to "prove" it happened.
>>
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>>15090150
>>
>>15090169
And this was the day recyclecabra was born
>>
>>15090162
Well i would be interested in seeing them anon
>>
>>15090162
Could you just post them for my sake? Not proof of anything. But definitely would cement this in my mind.
>>
>>15090191
Sure, hang on.
>>
>>15089627

kek
>>
>>15090031
post pics of your bear uncle
>>
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>>15090169
>recycle, or i'll kill your cat
>>
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>>15090191
There used to be more little pebbles and stones, and a few bent up bottlecaps, and an old aluminum Altoid's container, but those weren't in the box when I opened it up. I think I must've thrown them out or misplaced them at some point.
>>
>>15090191
>>15090271
Man, that picture is crap.
Just for clarity's sake, there are 2 quarters in there, one from 1980, the other from 1976. There's a penny from 1995, and a dime from 1991.
There's a balled up gum wrapper, two heavy screws that used to very really shiny but have turned brownish black with rust and tarnish. There's a brighter little screw.
A little metal disk, a bent up spring, 6 pebbles that are all reasonably shiny and I think came from a riverside.
Then there's a key, which didn't go to anything on the ranch grounds, and an old coin with a cartoon lion and some... Japanese? I guess. On it.
>>
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Story was oddly fascinating OP,

I will use your anus for leaving my cum
>>
>>15089661

Uhh... Alcohol in moderation is good for helping anxiety since it is a cns depressant, technically similar to xanax or other benzos.

Lrn2cureanxiety
>>
hurry
>>
>>15089580
>>Enjoying the soothing sounds and calm demeanor of Bob Ross
10/10 blew air out of my nose hard
>>
>>15090031
Perfect story. Not shit-your-pants scary but I definitely felt your whole train of thought throughout the stay and the major events of each night were just enough to be on the border between realistic and peculiar, especially the cat thing. If you can swing it, try to visit your uncle for dinner or something and leave a note with some sort of job along with a saucer of milk. Get a final test in there.
>>
>>15089796
kek'd
>>
>>15089706
jontron is glorious how dare you
>>
>>15090031
i liked your story OP

dead cat made me kinda sad though because i fucking love cats
>>
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In memory of this thread.
>>
>>15091002
Is it just because I'm on mobile or is this pictures text unreadable
>>
Inb4 inb4
>>
>>15091058
It's because you're on mobile. Get QuickPic if it's Android. It handles images like that pretty well.
>>
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This would make a hilarious movie, OP. Also good story telling, was hoping for a better ending, but not every scary incident has a great ending.

>OP comes in green, flails over garbage can in dark with broom in hand, causing a ruckus
>sillymusic.mp4
>By end of movie, OP is bloodshot, hardened to this new world of living next to a recyclabra drinking his cats milk
>clutching his rifle in his pale shaky hands, rocking back and forth behind door while Bob Ross can be heard in the background to juxtapose the situation
>pan out of property with semi-spoopy music as uncle hands over $5000
>Camera pan out stops to a small clearing, where a few pebbles, coins and paperclips sit in neatly piled circle, as if some autistic goblin has been making its home there
>footsteps approach.. dust kicks into camera
>OP neatly stacks his $5000 next to his other little treasures and smiles into camera
>roll credits

mfw i am m night shamalan
>>
>>15091225
"no, op, you were recyclcabra all along"
>>
>>15091225
I'd watch it. Honestly, this would be really cheap to make. One actor, set is just a farmhouse, no effects needed. The only difficult part is getting a god enough actor to sustain the entire movie. Get on it, /x/.
>>
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>>15091297
I've got some bottle caps, pennies and a paper clip. I will film it too.

I'm not nearly nimble enough to pull off those stunts though
>>
>>15089661
ikr wtf is OP thinking

Better get drunk so I can't defend myself.
>>
>>15091315
>Sick flails, bro.
>>
>>15089759
They're saying sorry and thank you. You have fairies.
>>
>>15089796
You have my sides.
>>
>>15091342

Yeah, it's pretty obvious that OP's bear uncle's farm is inhabited by fairies, or a hobo who thinks he's fairies.
The fact that so many people immediately said fairies, or brownies, or some other fey-type creature makes me wonder... does anyone ELSE have any stories related to fairfolk or other, similarly "folktalesy" cryptids?
Despite the lackluster final bit, I really liked the story.
>>
im going to imagine that whatever was fucking with OP was really just a friendly woodland creature that wanted to be friendly and knew to pay OP back for the milk
>>
>>15089853
You should make a garden. The fairies will help. They enjoy it. Sounds like your property needs one.
>>
OP is schyzophrenic and did all the creepy things himself. He got mad at the cat and bashed his head in with a hammer after kicking it.
>>
>>15089970
Those fairies killed a cat for you, man. That shit is dangerous for them. They fucking love you. That's like a goddamn cat killing a giant barn owl.
>>
>>15090031
OH FUCK
>>
>>15089821
>on /x/
>don't know basic european peasant folklore
OP if not full of shit (implying) has legit, IRL brownies being little pissants all over his property and accidentally brought them in line with an inadvertent gift of milk. They're harmless unless you piss them off; then they're still harmless but they fuck with your stuff.

I just personally have a fear of shit like brownies or fairies or that fucking albino monkey thing from "tales from the dark side" slitting my throat as i sleep, so OPs story kinda has me on edge.
>>
>>15089949
Brownies (i think) ride cats. U dun goofed son.
>>
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>>15091419
THE FUCKING MONKEY THING
I couldn't sleep for a week after the fucking Inside the Closet episode.
My dad finally calmed me down by making me watch it with him, again, in broad daylight. Whenever the monkey thing came on screen, he honked a bike horn and went "HURRR DUUHHH," I was just a stupid kid, so that shit was hilarious and it made me feel safer, I guess.
>>
>>15090122
instead of claws it has beer bottles on it's thumb, pointer, and middle finger/does that clinking thing.
>>
>>15091434
Your dad is a genius.
>>
>>15089198
so your crazy uncle paid you $5000 to do his chores while he camped out in the woods behind the house and fucked with you for a few months?

that's cool I guess. better than any of the things my crazy uncles tried to pay me to do.
>>
>>15091434
fuck you
>that pic

so much for sleeping tonight. Gonna put on a pot of coffee and get my gun
>>
>>15089627
>recyclacabra
kek
>>
Anybody want to write a story where OP has sex with the recyclacabra?
>>
>>15089986
what are you fucking 9?
>>
>>15089970
i enjoyed that op regardless of ending its acctualy believable fuck those guys having a bitch. thanks for acctualy contributing something worth reading to /x/
>>
all that reading for such a shitty ending

kill yourself OP, I hope you roast in hell
>>
>>15089828
>>15089792
>>15089784
>>15089608
What's with all the Fallout up in here? I love it.
>>
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Niggers
>>
>>15090356
Yeah, but he didn't do it in moderation and someone at that age who doesn't have a history with gets hit much harder by the booze.

But hey, thanks for the concern.
>>
What part of Colorado was this, OP? I live in CO, even met up with a few fellow faggots from this state to wander around the woods and wonder when the raping will begin.

So, checking out this cat killer is no problem.
>>
>>15089268
>"Then, there're the coons. Digging through the trash, shitting on the porch. You wanna scare 'em off whenever you can."
>Oh thank god, he isn't talking about black people.
Yes he is.
>>
>>15089629
>You feel great, everything's fine, and even if there were little hobo elves going through your trash and drinking milk, who gives a shit, they're Americans, and that's their business.

My sidesssss
>>
>>15089507
Hey Summer
>>
>>15089707
>whisky spilt
>Feel like an ass.
You are.
>>
>>15090031
Enjoyed the story, OP.
Sounds like friendly Gnomes.
>>
>>15091434
A+ dad. What a cute idea for scared kiddos.
>>
I enjoyed this thread, not super spooky, but still a good story. I'm glad it's still up.
>>
>>15090031
thank you based OP for your storry
>>
>>15094097
lol nice. Saved
>>
>>15090084
i like your story op.best new thing i read tonight
>>
>>15089317
>forgot to turn on porch light
And the bullshitting begins.
>>
>>15089876
wut?
>>
>>15094097
Look at him. He's so happy.
>>
>>15089317
>go back inside, finish signs, fall asleep.

and the bs begins.next time don't focus so much on details, anyone telling the truth get right down to the point.
>>
>>15089230
Those pesky jews always jewing it up.
>>
>>15091854
Yeh he could still be talking about black people realistically.
>>
>>15091432
brownies ride corgis
>>
>>15094097
Well I tried and failed.
>>
>>15089759
From what I read here they/it don't seem that bad.
>>
>>15090031
Show us your God of an uncle.
>>
>>15091002
thanks, i was worried id have to do this myself
>>
>>15098805
why is he a nigger.
vest should be green
recycling bin blue?
>>
>>15100175
Can't fix it.
I no longer have the will
>>
Its clearly appreciative of you. It left you a gift for the milk, and killed the cat that it saw hurt you. It doesn't wish to hurt you. This is probably fake but still, quit being a bitch.
>>
>>15089970
that's fucking badass

man im going to save this shit, kudos OP
>>
Gonna contribute to the thread with something similar I went through a few years ago that spookled my bookles.
>2008 or so
>Live in Britbong land
>Be 18
>Me and my girlfriend (now wife) decide to get a house together
>First night there we unpack our sofa, and most of our livingroom shit before calling it a day.
>Sleeping on the mattress in the living room because fuck building a bed in the middle of the night.
>Awoken at about 3am to what sounds like the wheeliebin we had outside being tipped over the step, and I think "fuck, the wind must have caught it"
>I get up to walk to the door, and can hear the fucking thing scraping along the gravel we had on the driveway
>Suddenly hits me that someone is dragging my bin along the gravel, meaning that they'd have to either be really short, or crawling to drag it along.
>Nope, fuck this, I'll deal with it tomorrow.
>Get back into maximum comfy mode with girlfriend and fall asleep.
Next morning.
>Go to investigate where my bin has gone, expect the local chavs to have stolen it and set it on fire or some shit.
>Find it at the end of my driveway, ready for collection day. I filled it with plastic wrapping and shit off of the furniture we bought.
>Think not much of it, and choose to shrug it off.

Cont..
>>
>>15100631
>chavs
Recyclcabra knows no borders, apparently. Going from Colorado to the UK. Saving the environment is just that important, I guess.
>>
>>15100631
Fast forward about a month or so.
>I've noticied a pattern emerging, and so has my girlfriend.
>Every night before bin-collection, between 2am, and 3am, we hear our wheelie bin tip over, followed by the scraping sound.
>Nickname the bin-bros the trashmen, they freak us both out because we have no idea what the fuck is doing it.
>Just try to ignore them.
>Girlfriend likes gardening, so she puts out food for the birds, usually bread and stuff like that. Birds being the messy cunts they are, they drop bread everywhere under the feeders.
>One night after the trashmen visit, I wake up to find a small pile of sticks stripped of bark neatly lined up under the bird feeder, they came from nowhere in our garden. We don't have a tree that matches these sticks.
>Girlfriend practically shits a brick because she thinks it's some blarewitch tier shit.
>I kinda do as well, but keep trying to convince myself that it's not a big deal.

I know this shit isn't really as long drawn out as OP's story, but the trashmen used to constantly leave these stripped sticks for us under the bird feeder where bread would fall. They'd always move the bins, and whenever you went out there to try and catch them in the act, the bin would just be left in the middle of the driveway on its side with nobody around it.

We moved out in 2011, and I haven't ever had something like that happen since. I kinda miss it to some degree. It's neat to know that they might have been these "brownie" things some other Anon mentioned.
>>
>>15100700
Also, I apologise for the lack of detail, but it's about 05:30am, and I'm typing this up from a phone. I'll maybe rewrite in detail later in case I didn't make any sense.

Again though, always stripped sticks. Always lined up in order from largest to smallest. The sticks they left for us were always incredibly straight as well is something strange I noticed, they were about as naturally straight as you could get with clean cut ends that looked like they'd been sawn off, or chopped off with something. I think my girlfriend might still have one of them at work in her desk. I'll ask her about it, but I can't promise anything.

Night anyway, /x/
>>
>>15100733
Thanks for the story. It's always cool when two different people on opposite sides of the world have nearly identical unexplained experiences.
>>
>>15089363
I would have told that faggot cashier to shut his whore mouth.
>your uncle is a racist asshole
Stand up for your family, goddammit. Just because he says racist shit doesnt mean hes a bad person.
>>
>>15100810
you tell em ricky
>>
>>15089800
>soldering
stopped reading right there. Your uncle had a soldering iron laying around? Did you take an extention cord and some flux out there too? Nobody solders a fucking shed. You claimed to be fresh out of highschool. Why do you know how to solder things anyway? It wouldnt hold sheet metal together for shit. Youd be better off using jb weld or that putty you can kned together and it gets hard as shit.

None of this shit happened.
>>
>>15100936
>what is a torch
>>
>>15100936
This is the most retarded post I've seen all year and that's saying something. Guess what EEfag, soldering had many uses long before people started sticking resistors together.
>>
>>15101261
he's probably a compscifag, EEfags have to have some grounding in the actual physical part of the industry. compscifags are just terrible people
>>
>>15089867
>>15089869
>please instantly gratify me with stupid and fake bullshit
You guys have basically no imagination or patience do you?
>>
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>>15089706
Fuck you
>>
>>15089671
I drink when I'm anxious. Works for me lol
>>
The cat scratched you, and now it's dead. Don't be threatened, I think the garden gnome is protecting you.
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