Post a pape that makes you feel something and say what's on your mind
Sometimes I just want to be relaxed but I always seem to be stuck in work.
I just want a nice, quiet place where every one is good friends every one and no anger
I'm losing touch with what I am. I just got diagnosed with schizophrenia and I'm pretty sure my brain is just rotting from the inside out.
Sometimes i wish i could run away but then i remember that there are people that need me to be there and responsible for them.
the one person i want to talk to doesnt reply but everyone i don't want to talk to messages me first.. fuck everything. this is a shitty feeling. lonely for 1 person..
My friend. Things were perfect that fall, but it's been two years. All the hope and wonder I had for this city went up in the flames of drama.
I can relate. I hate that sick feeling you get in your chest when you're ignored by the one whose attention you want the most.
iktf. I envy those who can lead their lives as they wish.
That sucks anon but you have to keep fighting 'till the end. I've been diagnosed with depression recently but schizophrenia is a whole other thing.
Do you enjoy your work?
I am numb and time is moving too fast
>im 20 years old
>been single my whole life
>knew this one girl
>used to spend time with her
>was about to confess my feelings
>got a message from her saying she is dating someone else
>cried for 1 day
I am so tired of human beings, I hate that we don't live in peace while we could.
I'm growing detached and painfully apathetic; I've felt like my life has been paused for 4 years. I don't wanna see 30; almost three decades, and nothing to show but failure after failure. No degree, no job, no decent work experience because of deteriorating mental health over the last 10 years; girlfriend left me for another guy (thanks for the lies, Ash); only have my best friend left and I don't even feel close to him anymore. I hold it all in anymore and it hurts like hell. It's a struggle to get out of bed. If it weren't for my little sunshine yellow pills, I'd never get out of bed. Pathetic.
I hope to God I don't hit 30: there's nothing left in this world for me beyond that point.
Most big events that happen in my life somehow seem unreal. I forget that friends have stopped talking to me, that it's no longer summer and that I actually have to do homework, and that a major change in my life is coming up soon. I feel like I'm watching someone else's life go by.
10 years behind but I feel the same way. Was like that by the time I entered high school, now I turn 20 in a few months and it's really fucking with me. Shit dead end job, lost all but one friend and my girlfriend and me have become detached over the past while. wake up every morning wanting to die and going to bed the same way.
shit's rough but i'm still holding out some hope that something will break and things will change. who knows.
I just always want to go on walks at night and forget that I'm someone who exists to others
>>6434752 is me
i'm not a person any more. i'm a collection of thoughts which don't align into one given brain. more than half of those thoughts are lies. how am i supposed to fight when i can't tell what's real any more? maybe i just need to accept that my brain is dead and let the body follow
I want to do something, anything, but life has been to comfy lately to bother
I've been becoming more and more obsessed with the idea of going somewhere remote. It's not that I hate people, I enjoy company as much as the next guy, but part of me just wants to be alone, cut off, and solitary for a few good weeks.
I want to buy a small van, put a bed in the back, stock up on food and supplies and just leave. I want to chase sunsets and be dwarfed by massive forests. I want to listen to my favorite music on the top of my van with a nice cool breeze hugging me all around. I want to drink homemade coffee and photograph the woods at sunrise.
I just want to go somewhere where I can truly be alone.
I want to find a meaningful profession for me, I have already been in two universities. Just last month I was too afraid to make more changes in my life, but New Year has given me a (false?) sense of assurance.
Guess i'll keep on going.
I've felt them feels before anon.
I'm still in high school and just feel meh. I don't really talk to anybody except a few close friends, I'm a little awkward socially but not freakishly so. I'm not disliked but my peers, but I'm not liked. It's hard to phrase but I don't really care, but I kinda do. I feel neutral.
For my depression, I take an antipsychotic that prevents me both from hurting so bad and from enjoying myself as well. And as a high-functioning misanthropic manchild in the late second half of my twenties, my life seems to be going nowhere.
I was expelled from a prestigious Law school in the back-water piece of shit dumphole that is “my country” (To which I feel no allegiance and owe nothing but complete disinterest) in 2011, having wasted precious years of my life and lots of my parents’ money.
Ever since I live with an unresolved shame and also feel my IQ drops lower by the day, since I was not smart enough to end up a lawyer. In hindsight, most likely I would have ended up miserable as a lawyer as well.
Single for two years now, having been dumped by a lovely girl on whom I cheated with a fuckin’ skank during one of my numerous dead-end jobs waiting tables for assholes. The only sex I’ve had since that time was so horrible I feel emotionally castrated and physically undesirable that my social anxiety with people has propelled to a new level into Tinder bullshit, adding up to my loneliness, inadequacy and lack of general self-esteem.
Later, I enrolled at a community college, which turned me into a pariah in the social echelon, since community college graduates are less than vermin in the scheme of local things, destined to dead-end and underpaid back-office jobs.
>>TL; DR: More stupid by the second, no degree, guilt-ridden single guy, decreasing amount and quality of friends, underpaid dead-end job, incapable of reciprocating love to those who are for me (My old folks, with whom I still live...) and feeling unworthy of love, praise or respect by others, I can only think I’d be better off killing myself or leaving this country in hopes to find a place and people I belong. Or at least, to find a nice view to end my life…
I enhanced this in photoshop to get rid of the jpeg compression and make the colors a bit more vibrant.
I feel weird but I can't explain how. I don't think what I am feeling has a word for it, the closest thing I can think to explain it is I feel like I am slipping.
i feel for you man, i hope shit clears out soon. i deal with boderline and any mental illness like that really fucks up every day life. not sure what to say other than i feel what you're dealing with.
Fuck all this depression, I feel amazing. I just spent a few years living abroad, then switched fields to a job I love and am excelling in. I just moved to a new city late last year for this job; it's been a ball exploring it and meeting new people. I started seeing an awesome girl and just cooked dinner for the two of us tonight.
You're still young m8.
Change while you still can even if you're future seems bleak.
I've been through the same shit.
Had bad grades, was addicted to smoking meth and just basically wanted to die.
Finally toughened up and joined the Marine Corp at the age of 17 and goddamn has it set me straight.
I don't know what kind of goals you have or if you even have any but you gotta pursue something that positively affects you.
Quit using those drugs man , the fact that you wanna change lets me know you at least have some motivation to start with.
You're gonna be running up a hill of shit trust me but you'll make and be proud you came out different.
It ain't easy giving up drugs and hell was it difficult for me to give up meth but thankfully I made it out after using it for a year and a half.
Trips me out how long ago that was, I was just your age too.
Now I'm 20 chasing the dream of trying to become someone out here.
You can do it man, you know you can.
Turned 20 two months ago and I just started community college.
Glad I still have time to take advantage of an education. This time I can't fuck it up like I did during high school.
Hopefully I do good so I can transfer out to a good university.
I thought 20 was getting old but I'm barely getting to know myself better than before.
Feel like I'm not going with the flow, instead I'm making my own flow.
I'm embracing my struggles and trying to become a better man.
I wanna make it out of this town and never look back but never forget where I came from.
Life is good but it could always be a thousand times better and it will always be that way even when I think I've made it successful.
I'm just tired of living this way and want to make it better.
Meet new friends, date new girls, open other doors life has to offer and just move the fuck out.
We're all gonna make it.
That was beautiful man. Thanks for that.
God damn. This shit hole of a site pulls diamonds for me every now and then. I love you.
The sad thing is familia that this is what people think even at older ages. Nobody grows up. If you were old enough to understand that you wouldn't call these anons edgy. Which leads me to the ever so interesting conclusion that you're a teenage fuckface. Go shit all over yourself on /b/
I Have attained a certain level of apathy due to the lack of social interaction , affection , ambition , pleasure , Anger , excitement , happiness . Just nothing complete emptiness . I have No soul .
I've got everything in the universe on my bucket list and no time to do it in
This might come off as assholish but, you're only just turning 20.
Take heart in knowing you have roughly 3-5 times the current amount of time you've been alive, and probably 6-12 times the amount of time you've been considered a rational person left to live.
Like it or not, shit will get worse for you at some point, but thankfully things will likely get a lot better as well.
As for me:
Sitting here at home. Bored isn't the right word, but i'm not entertained either. Ennui is too strong of a word. Due to the economy tanking here in Alberta, I was forced to take 2 weeks of "vacation" from work starting the week of christmas, so until mid january i'm barely scrapping by covering bills with paychecks. My job awesome, but i spend all day there waiting to get home to live my life, but get home too tired to do much. Weekends should be my time, but, i just spend them surfing 4chan and I don't know why. So here i drift. Slowly by /wg/ today, for no particular reason then its a board i ain't been to recently.
You know, you guys, you strangers, wherever you may be while you are reading this, you'll be the only people to whom I will speak earnestly about my life right now.I spent the past 5 years steeped in delusions of grandeur, telling myself that I'm better than other people and destined to do great things, and I insulated myself from reality with video games and movies. Video games were a particularly bad vice, I channeled my delusions into them as I charged the beaches of Normandy and turned back the tide of Nazi Germany, grew my small nation into an empire of unfathomable power, defeated Cesar's legion and the NCR in one fell swoop and traveled through the omega relay to the center of galaxy to stamp out the collector threat to humanity.I was charming, powerful, rich, admired, respected and feared, and then in August of 2015 reality hit like a fucking locomotive.I'm a fucking mess, I'm 23, no degree, shit job, soft body, cavities in my mouth, socially awkward, i have an overpowering tendency to procrastinate and I feel week and discouraged.I've been sinking lower and lower into vices and depression, Video games were a drug, something I used to anesthetize myself from a painful reality.
The universe is just a beautiful and magnificent place but there is no true meaning to it. We are merely thrown into it for a short period of time to experience it's majesty, and we can shorten or lengthen our time here based on our actions. So I'm dedicating 2016 to turn my life around, it's gonna be hard, no doubt about it, I'm to much of a bitch to have basic conversations with people and I leave my room only for food like a fucking rabbit.I will get discouraged often no doubt but I know one thing, I don't want to squander my only life, I want fresh mountain air in my lungs, challengers and aspirations,love, heartbreak, hope and growth, to leave a legacy for my children and to be an inspiration to those in need, and I'm gonna get it, I fucking swear /wg/, however hard it may be.
I feel really torn and my inferiority complex is running wild. I met a gorgeous woman recently, like we can actually talk about things and have pretty similar taste in the vidya / nerd things... She's like everything that I could ever hope for in a human being, but I'm in the worst position possible for pursuing a relationship of any sort; no car, shitty job, and struggling with finances due to some shit that happened a few years ago.
I want to give chase, but I feel like I would fail in the marathon that is the average relationship these days... I don't even know how I can overcome my anxieties in regards to this situation.
This picture inspires me, but what's on my mind is unrelated.
I'm currently discussing plans with a few friends to abandon the US and head North to live innawoods. I know it seems far-fetched, but we actually have a plan and a decent amount of gear/supplies stockpiled. None of us really have anything tying us down aside from shitty jobs. We all have military experience and I think we could pull it off.
None of us are furries, so I'm posting this ITT instead of on /k/.
Go for it anyway. Right now, she's wondering when you're gonna make a move. Take it from some one who was in your position a few years ago. Go for it anyway.
Why not just live with canadians directly, instead of in our woods? Heck, move anywhere in BC and do both at the same time since almost every BC city was a forest they decided to make houses in.
We all really just want to get away for a while. See how it is to live off the grid.
After we've done it though, who knows? I just don't want to be in the US anymore, and I've always felt pretty passionate about the wilderness. Now seems like a good time, and I've got a few good friends interested in the idea as well.
Just don't report me to the mounties, please.
Over the past year I fell back into alcoholism, lost touch with who I am, and I'm currently investigating potential stomach cancer. The love of my life left me this week, and she's completely justified in it because she can only put up with my destructive self for so long. I can't even chase her because I know that I'll just hurt her and I can't let myself put her through that anymore. I have good friends who are doing their best to help me help myself sober up and get my health in order, but I can't help but be disappointed in myself for slipping back to such a low when I had so much going for me. I know I'm capable of being such a better person regardless of what crap life throws at me and I'm just deeply disappointed in myself.
I made this pape a long time ago because I'm a lovecraft geek
I just feel lost honestly.
After high school, I've kinda lost direction.
Sure, I'm working full time, but I've only had one girlfriend my entire life.
My days have been filled with vidya, and on the weekends, I see my friends occasionally.
I use TInder (because fuck it, it gives my hormones some satisfaction.)
Still haven't had sex, and I'm almost 19.
I'm glad that every bad thing that has ever happened to me happened. I'm glad I felt so defeated and alone before because I know I can change. I'm glad i'm broken, because its the diamonds that are cut that shine the most.
I can do what I want to do and even though I know no one cares enough right now, I'll make them care.
Been there done that. Don't rush yourself about sex you might be only 19 but it'll come and go.
If sex and having a girlfriend are the only thing you care most about at the moment then anon you are more than just lost.
You're still 19, go find something that interests you and study it. Go to college while you still can. Take advantage of your diploma and take it to the next level.
You'll meet more girls in college and best of all, you'll find direction.
I want more than a girlfriend, but it just seems like girls are fucking retarded and don't know what they want, either that, or I'm just really bad with dealing with them.
I know it'll happen eventually.
I lyk dis.
I'm finally free. 5 years of drug addiction and it finally clicked. I will be the lion that leads again, the volcanic explosion of fire and passion that once flowed through my veins that inspired others and gave joy freely, will once again be the drive of my life. I know I'm not there yet, and the light inside has only flickered a small shine, but I'm glad I can finally see the path ahead of me.
I love you, Dad.
How? Like that's interesting but..
Do you keep track of your progress in each "way"
Or is this just an in general thing that has motivation but no direction
I wish I could give a bunch of you a hug. I know it probably doesn't help, but know that someone somewhere cares about you even though you don't know them. This pape always make me laugh for some reason. Maybe it'll make you laugh.
Thanks for taking the time to encourage me m8, it means a lot. The past few days have been important to me and I'm ready to straighten myself out. Even though your post may seem insignificant it did help me to see I'm not alone... I finally feel like I can change myself into the man I've wanted to be for the past few years. Time to stop my angst and pessimism and actually make a difference for myself.
Doing this raid solo for my first time ever doing the raid was really fun. I feel almost all content in vista should be doable solo, even if it's super hard.
The end of 2015 was hard to go through.. my grandmother, aunt, and grandfather passed away.. then not long after my girlfriend cheated on me and left with my daughter... 3 1/2 months working at my new job I met her.. the only one that can stop my demons from coming out. She helped me from thinking negative thoughts.. I hated my life from where it was headed but talking to her being around her I don't feel pain anymore.. I have never felt like this twards anybody only my daughter...
I'm 25, no job, no career path. All but one of my friends live at least hundreds of miles away, and where I live is a cultural deadzone. My mortgage company for the house I inherited is trying to fuck me over. But connecting with people over the internet, reading and listening, I feel like I've learned a lot. I think that more of us are in this boat than we realize. We live in a time where college degrees are as throw-away to employers as high school diplomas, and where our education system doesn't teach us about how the real world actually works. College students are tens of thousands of dollars in debt and white-collar companies are overloaded with people going down the same path looking for the same jobs. We've been conditioned to fear the increasingly less unbeaten path of under the table and odd labor. The very concept of working when you want to work has been thrown out the window in favor of submission to nameless faceless superentities know as corporations
We're programmed to believe there's a system, regardless of whether it works or not and that if we fall out of that system then our world is over. But the reality of the world is that there is only chaos. All these laws and rules are ignored by the very institutions which use them. In fact in an ironic twist they use their rules to break their rules. Im the furthest thing from a vegan hippie, but even I have to appreciate something like freeganism, the sheer resourcefulness of just taking perfectly palatable food which because society cant sell it, it simply discards. Something like that gives me hope, nay, makes me certain that even if everything falls apart for me, there's still a world which exists beyond my tiny shelter in the middle of this dull, empty forest. In fact, on some level it makes me want to fail, it makes me want this bureaucratic, burdensome nonsense being foisted upon me by the the banks to crumble and leave me with no reason to stay.
I'm 25 anon, and let me tell you in retrospect I hated who I was until I got to about 23/24 and I still think I'm changing every year.
You've got plenty of time to get it all together senpai.
We'll be fine.
Pretty much this, the cost of maintaining a decent life is always increasing and pay, or decent jobs for that matter are always drying up, companies are actively looking for ways to screw their employees over as much as possible to maximize gains. Unless you wanna spend your life as a corporate mule, doing long hours for shitty pay to make assholes rich, you need to find your own way in life, and that['s what I intent to do, I'm just gonna spend a few years working my butt off at improving myself, networking, etc and then I'm gonna start making money, not "earning" it.
I've already deleted all my games, movies, etc, and stopped wasting money on useless crap, I'm putting most of it into savings since I'll need it later. I have started doing a couch to 10k thing and lifting weights. Bought a bunch of books on manners, how to deal with people, how to be organized and disciplined. I got a car. That's about it so far, but only 10 days into the year. I honestly can tell you much right now. I spent so much time avoiding reality with videogames that I have no idea what I actually want in life and what is realistically possible. So like I said 2016 is probably not gonna be an easy year, but a completely necessary one nonetheless.
Yo honestly that shit as much as it fucked me over, it changes your character and it's fucked up to see yourself go to waste.
That piece of shit drug ruined me for quite a while but I'm glad I can say I made it out of addiction when most people don't especially the age I was while abusing it.
It changes you when you look at yourself in the mirror and notice the sucked in cheeks and pale skin. The days it hit me was when I had weighed 116.
I was already in the poolee program for the Marine Corp but I was still addicted.
That was one of the major reasons I quit. What kind of fucking 16 year old weighed 116? Only a disgusting, heinous piece of shit degenerate. I don't know why I wanted to just die so badly. I didn't care I'd I overdosed.
I can vouch for this
I went to three different high schools in 4 years (dad is army). My sophomore and junior year were in an international school in Munich Germany, and my senior year was in some small town in Pennsylvania. It was quite a change. At that point I just stopped bothering. Up until my senior year I had always been very social, had lots of friends, generally did pretty well off (especially in europe). My senior year I was just so exhausted from doing it over and over again. I started eating lunch by myself in the hallway in front of my next class. I never went out, I never really did anything except go to the gym and go to school. But I kind of enjoyed it. I liked being alone and basically having to figure life out on my own for a year. Now I am in college and I'm sort of a hybrid. I have friends, I'm social, and I'm involved, but I still keep to myself 90% of my free time.
One thing to keep in mind though, don't ever turn into one of those edgy fuckers who says shit like "I hate people and humanity, I'm a lone wolf, etc" because then you're just a loser. It's ok to enjoy solitude, but once you become self righteous about it, you're just an asshole. The best way to get people to respect your lifestyle is to be humble and be yourself.
I'm only 18 yo, I have good friends, a family that I love, but I have just no idea what's going on : never watch TV and I don't care about the news or the real world... I feel lost but I don't know why, maybe because I've lost all motivation
I have a terrible habit of forgetting my life's lessons and generally screw things up when I can't make the head/heart separation. Also all the other generic problems.
Good on you anon, I hope life keeps treating you well!
That's because souls aren't real bro. You're an assembly of biological parts
Miss you every day bro, would give anything just to talk to you one more time.
I'm afraid that my depression will never be manageable, gone through so many meds and working on getting back into therapy.
>nigga stole my WP
I like the fact that this upset some of my veganfag friends
Feeling pretty chill as I wait excitedly for the end of Western civilization
This one makes me feel like I'm alone most of the time
Every day that passes by, I feel like this world is getting worse. I see problems with a lot of things in this world yet I know I have no power to change things how I want them to be nor will people stand up with me and fix them. I also know that my opinion on the matters isn't a fix-all. Sometimes I wish humans were more similar in how they solved these issues.
I have a darker side that I hide from people because I know that most people will see me in a negative light, but I feel that to fix a few of these issues involves humans to die. What I find interesting is that I don't really care about humans dying. I see humans almost like a plague that is killing everything they touch. Perhaps I am just one of those people that want to watch the world burn...
If you see this, anon, remember to take small steps. If you try to do everything at once, you WILL fail. Rome wasn't built in a day, etc. I know this from experience. I'm still shaping myself into the person I want to be, but I'm so much better than was even a year ago. A little bit at a time.
I just wanna get by.
Every day I feel like I'm a little bit closer to completely falling apart, yet I proceed to stare at this accursed screen day after day, I know the actions that need to be taken, yet I sit here, petrified by my own mind.
How do I escape.
I'm on the emotional upswing again. I was down for awhile, then I was up, then for the last two days I was just all around uneasy, feelings of worthlessness, etc. Now I've beat them back again. Going to do what I do best: translate, program, and write. And I feel confident again in all those things.
Emotionally, I'm unprepared for this semester. I don't know if I can pull it off but I have to. I have hope from a few things in my life, which is good, but man 2015 was so difficult and I need more time to heal.
I'm at a point in my life where I've looked back to my golden years and realized I've done nothing with them. After high school, I went to a private college and flunked out in one semester, then I got a shitty retail job and proceeded to smoke pot, play vidya and whack off for four years. I've sobered up recently and now these pangs of regret are stabbing into me. I want to go back to college. I want to hold onto some fucking money, for once. I want to get into shape, physically and fiscally, so I can be comfortable enough in my own skin to get out there and meet someone. I'm tired of being the only person on my social feed that's single and going nowhere and knowing that my dad, who worked his ass off as a single father raising two kids, is disappointed in me, maybe even thinking he failed as a parent. That's what kills me the most. He's a great dad, I'm just a shitty son.
tl;dr, I think I'm gonna join the Army. Active or Guard, haven't decided which. Studying for the ASVAB now, last time I took it was back in high school and I scored an 88 iirc. A 90 will qualify me for engineering, which is what I want to go to college for. I'm nervous, I don't relish the thought of sacrificing my civil liberties and possibly my life for a Commander-in-Chief I know I'll despise, or a group of old men that couldn't give a shit less about me. I don't like the idea of being broken and re-molded, but shit, there's not a lot of me to break at this juncture. I gotta do it. I gotta do something, before it's too late.
This one say to me "we're making do with a shitty situation."
That's all any of us can do, really.
I just graduated and I have a job, but I don't know if I'm ready to be an adult yet. I want to live in my small comfortable town I've known since forever and see the people I love. I'm terrified to move across the country and start a new life for myself.
My anxiety and paranoia is driving away the love of my life I've been with for almost 5 years. I'm scared she'll leave and I'll never find anyone else like her. I'm unlovable.
This is like the thread that we all didn't know we needed.
I'm not clicking at all with any of my close friends or family members anymore, most of whom I've known for my whole life. It took me a while to accept that fact.
Hey, guys, I love you
Maybe we can have a coffe or a black tea with milk?
I just want to help you, to let you know you deserve to be loved
I've always found /wg/ a nice board for conversation. I'm glad all of you anons are kind people. Even if you're not, and this is some awkward facade for some strange ulterior motive, the fact that you post something understanding and caring is more than myself, and possibly other anons can ask for.
I like that pape, animals are so fun to stare at
Can't get rid of these shitty feelings holding me down since I was 13. 21 now
You all need to relax, get out there, and go on some kind of adventure.
You'll feel better in no time.
I started lifting a year and a half ago, I feel great, I (think) I look great, I feel like a better person overall. But I have noticed that I have become distant from many of my old friends. One even said that I had changed for the worse. I don't understand what has really changed other than my outward appearance. I just don't know how to react to all this happening at once.
I am also schizophrenic. You're not dead. That collection of thoughts IS who you are, and you should be very glad to be those thoughts. You can achieve so much more than some despite everything that will challenge you, and I'm very lucky to have even known you for a moment. I love you Anon. I love you.
I live with an extra person in my mind, who thinks, speaks, acts for himself. A completely different person. I grow more distant from my family and friends because of him, because i like his company, i want to spend time with him more. Although it kind of scares me, since sometimes it gets blurry which one of us is talking, or acting etc.
Shit, didn't see this was posted already.
Feeling like shit over a hero who wasn't aware of my existence. I really wanted to see him perform again after Blackstar.
"Where the fuck did Monday go?"
Just be happy as we are because you are here, with us
ignore the weird filename, i just keep forgetting to ask post this in an image modification thread to ask for it to be resized to 1920x1080
"as the world falls away around me, i watch as the last thing of beauty falls away"
>who wasn't aware of my existence
While true, I don't think that matters. We felt a connection to him through his music. It touched us. Deeply. That's why it hurts so much. That's why it feels like we lost a good friend. And yeah, this is basically the worst Monday ever.
Quote has shitty writing. Shouldn't use "falls away" both times in the same sentence. Maybe, "as the last thing of beauty fades to nothing" or "the last thing of beauty is corrupted by anger." I don't know, just not the same thing you said two words ago.
Life has a thousand ups and downs. Some are bigger than others. In my humble experience, the trick is to know where you are on the spectrum. Take solace and satisfaction in the constants. Know that, no matter how bleak things may look, your life is only over when you give up. There will always be people better and worse than you, but their opinion shouldn't change you. Be the person you want to be, and know that you are the final say and the deciding hand in your life. Never be afraid of something because the world tells you that you should be. Maybe we only live once, maybe not, but either way it is our obligation to take full advantage of our time here. Walk with your heads held high y'all; we're all in this together.
y'all hitting me right in the feels
young and hopeless
good thinking anon, i shouldve noticed i fucked up
I should have gone on that road trip with my dad
I miss him
You must find inspiration.
You can't wait for it to find you.
Either you do nothing with all the momentum granted to you, or you move the stars. The choice is yours.
just dumped my cunt gf and can finally focus more on work and myself
feels peaceful, man
I love a girl, have for years. I know im a fool to want her but fuck she makes me feel so good about myself, even though we rarely talk anymore. I know I need to move on but its painful to think of life without her. I need her.
And who will stand to greet the blinding light?
It's lonely when there's no one left to fight.
I'm afraid to try because I might hurt myself or others
But if I don't try, I hurt myself and others
That's what I've been told. I know there are people that enlist that are a hell of a lot more out of shape then me, but from what I gather, it's not really about getting you in-shape physically so much as mentally. I'm good at shutting myself off, so that shouldn't be too much of an issue. I wish it wasn't so fucking cold out so I could start running again, that's what will kill me initially.
My ex-best friend saved this to my computer.
Half of me wishes desperately to just reconnect with him, because he used to be a brother to me. The other half knows I would be a better person if I had never met him, and that he's not going to make any attempt to stop abusing his friends because it's inconvenient to him. There's a lot going on in my life, and it's all just slightly worse knowing that I can never talk to him about any of it. I'm left with nobody to talk to about pretentious music or game design. I'm left without my best friend of years. I've never hated someone so close to me this much before. All I can hope is that if I write enough songs about him, I'll just grow fatigued with the act of hating him and let everything go. But I can never be his friend again. I won't let myself.
I find myself staring at the clouds during the day, the stars and the moon at night. I'll be walking to my next class and I'll glance up at the clouds and admire their beauty. I try to not stare for too long because other kids will look at my funny. I wish that other people could appreciate how fucking beautiful the sky can be at times. At night is when I go outside and stare at the stars while I listen to my d favorite music. When I'm alone I look up and admire it all, sometimes I wish I could admire it with someone else though....
Also I would like to add. When I look at the stars I realize how insignificant we are to the whole picture. Then my mind runs wild, why the fuck are we here? These ideas we humans have created, it's all for nothing. We are all caught up in our day to day lives we forget how little time we have here. If only more people could realize it....
To all the hopeless anons, don't give up. People tend to forget that we are ALIVE. We get caught up in these thoughts that tell us how we're supposed to be or where we should be and we forget that this life we're in is what we should be enjoying and focusing on; not our job, or school, or the military or whatever bullshit has you down at the moment. Ever since I started studying science and learning more about our bodies and Earth and the universe and practicing martial arts, I've been so much happier than I used to be. I do all of this on my own thanks to the internet/books, and I do it everyday. I only get better. It feels amazing. Life is confusing and cruel and jarring sometimes, but we're here regardless and we can do wonderful things even in the face of that adversity.
Don't forget that. Also I suggest picking up an instrument.
no girl i like will ever reciprocate
im smart, funny, kind, not socially awkward, a little chubby but ive lost a lot of weight in the last year, and i would treat any girl so well, but im never given the chance because they fall for literally any other guy. all of my friends (male) think im an all around great guy and that i will be successful someday but i feel like ill never find anybody that loves me. girls talk to me at length all the time, it's not like im not approachable. didn't mean for this to be so long.
As someone who lives with several alternate personalities, you need to remember that this "other person" is just an extension of your own consciousness. You are both the same person, just different parts at different times. You share the same memories, and draw from the same experience and logic. You both use the same brain. There is only one of you, and all of his qualities are also your own. I know it feels like the loneliness isn't worth holding onto your sanity, but it's a slippery slope and the more you let him become a reality, the harder it will be to shake the feeling that you are only half a person.
You, all of you, is worth whatever torture you may be going through. Drugs help, if you're so inclined. But stick to alcohol or (if you have to) weed, and only buy weed from someone you trust, it's easier than you think to get laced shit.
I was never great at making meaningful, professional type connections in college that would help me land a job easier.
Now I need to improve my position in life with my own power, however insignificant that may be, because there really is no one else who can bail me out.
For the past two years, since I got out of high school, I've been trying to get my mind back. I've been put through more mental abuse than any one person should be allowed to survive, because frankly half the time I want to die simply out of convenience. For over 15 years (excluding the 3 or so that I wasn't technically conscious) I didn't know what happiness was, my entire life was just varying shades of pain and self-hatred. I became a sociopath out of sheer survival instinct by the time I was 9, around 10-11 I was a full fledged insomniac, getting about 1-2 hours of sleep a night simply because night was the only time I had to myself, where nobody could hurt me. I've been addicted to alcohol, marijuana, and crack. I have almost 100 deep, self-inflicted scars from the tip of a pair of scissors that I sharpened with a rock, so that it kind of hooks in slightly. Almost microscopically, so that it still took about half an hour to make a cut 2 inches long bleed all the way through. My memory is so shot that I genuinely have trouble remembering anything past a few months ago, aside from blurry images and vague emotions. I could have been a prodigy. I could have done so much for the world, and I've been reduced to this broken thing that can't even leave my room some mornings. Well I say morning, I wake up around 2pm earliest. But I am slowly, against all odds and my own will, recovering. I'm not even sure who I am anymore, I have no true sense of identity considering I lived without one for so long. But if I was strong enough to make it through all that other shit, then I must have the ability to remember what it's like to be sane, normal, rational. Hopefully.
have fun being 12 for the rest of your life
remember when /b/ had baww threads? no, of course not, because you got here a year ago and you think fake sociopathy makes you special. you're far edgier than the people you're trying to mock.
I'm in constant physical crippling pain everyday for the past 3 months and the doctors can't figure out why
At that age, over 16 years ago, I felt like I was going no where with my life. But I decided to change that. It has not been an easy road, and now I am starting my own family. I'm scared shitless.
All the people that love you make it worthwhile. You have to decide to change, as difficult as that is. And I know It's difficult. I'm still trying to change for the better.
I loved you so much, and now you are just...gone
I feel like im facing some tough shit atm, but I'm not afraid. I know i can defeat what's in front of me.
I feel so lonely, I don't speak for weeks on end and when I do it's with the postman or cashier. I've never known what it's like to be loved, or to have friends or for there to be someone who would care if right now I just died. I know there isn't. Am I such a terrible person to deserve being so alone?
You have your whole life to look forward to bud.
If you have a dream, anything you want - go out and make it possible for yourself.
Try new things, discover new things. Get out of your bedroom, it's a prison. You weren't born to be encaged, mentally or physically.
Put yourself out there. Ask yourself, who do you want to be? What makes you happy? If you don't have an answer - get out there and find it. Just decide. Who do you want to be and how are you going to do it - and do it.
You can stay there and get the shit kicked out of you, or..you can fight your way back into the light. Climb out of hell.
I'm going to build shit in Germany and have a damn good time doing it.
this shitty little town is going to kill me.
whenever i see people i love, i just see the mistakes i've made and the things that i've done to wrong them. i'm losing track of time, and feeling worse every day. i just want to disappear and start over in the city
my brain lies to me. it's self contradictory and painful. and it wants me to get hurt, i think. There's layers, going on here. There's the upper brain, which is me. There's the lower brain, which is also me but somewhat broken. And there's a bit in the middle which isn't me at all, and is very much broken. It's the staticky bit, I guess.
Point is the majority of my brain is nonfunctional and even the bit that is me is hilariously self destructive and I just don't know how to handle it. I'm going to therapy, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss prescription options, and i have every reason to want to stay alive but most of me wants to just. step back. stop. and just not be.
doesn't work for me, makes me more paranoid and hallucinate more than usual
I feel you bro I want nothing more then a adventure in this life I feel like we need to seek it out ourselves and thats the hardest thing
On my own thing I feel like my life doesnt belong to me anymore. My Clinical Depression has become a dominating force in my life and it is harder and harder every day to push out the thoughts of suicide
I've had a stomach disease for the past 6-7 years now that has only gotten worse with time, and now I'm completely home bound due to the increased severity of the disease. After what seemed like a promising future in audio engineering, I had to drop out of college and now live in isolation trying to get work as a freelance game developer. At first, the isolation wasn't so bad, but I can tell my social skills have really taken a hit and I fear that for some reason, I've grown arrogant and narcissistic; I can no longer have normal conversations with people and I really wish that wasn't the case. It didn't use to be this way.
I hope you go for it, if it really is what you want to do. I actually wanted to do the same thing after graduating high school...never got around to it though.
I want to live in Japan with my qt3.14 introvert tsundere wife and live a peaceful life for the rest of my days.
I feel empty.
or at least emptier than i normally feel
Among the many upsetting posts in this thread, this brought me right back up where I needed to be. Spot on post, thank you brother.
When an emotional reaction occurs, the chemicals - hormones, neurotransmitters, blood pressure, your nutritional intake - affect your psychological memory. When a strong emotion offsets the feeling of tranquility, naturally you do not like that feeling, right? After this occurs, after multiple encounters and circumstances, you begin to learn what to do and what not to do. Your emptiness, lack of empathy, socialization; they all manifest from you learning what certain feelings can do to you, how they effect and affect the physical world around you. Your soul is that conscientiousness of what happened before, it is your life as you have internalized it. What you do with your internalization is up to you. The power of your soul is knowing your strengths as well as your weaknesses, then propagating it with pride while having reverence for other souls. What goes around, may and can come back around; though this isn't always true. However, what's life worth without taking risk?
I need to be better. I want to be better. But I can't be better.
I feel a strong yearning for adventure and am really excited to start the next chapter of my life. I'm also a little scared, but I think that's ok.
Hey man, this is /wg/, not /b/, please be civil and post papes.
I imagine it as this eternal nothingness. Not dark, not light. Just nothingness. Very calm and still.
Kind of like how I feel when I imagine the time before I was born.
Objectively speaking, I'm doing pretty well (I have a gf, doing pretty well in my classes, have quite a good social life, etc.).
But still, I keep focusing on tiny little flaws and mistakes I've made, even though I know I shouldn't.
TL;DR: Even though life is good, I feel like crap and I don't know why.
the remains of my conscience feel foreign to me
I don't want it anymore
I don't want this
I contain the universe in my mind.
Only I exist and I am tired of it.
Still searching for who I am. Where do I find out and is it too late?
Honestly you can't deny every thing in this thread looks like it was written by a 17 year old who has a sad demeanor. Except schizo guy I guess
I have recognized that every social and cultural construct is merely a way for people to pass their time in a form that only exists due to specific chemical reactions occurring in a very specific place
the only problem i have in my life is trying to figure out what crazy new food i wanna try next life is like a good dream
im planning a trip to go back to kyoto with my wife this fall. just bought the tickets super cheap shit is so cash.
>shitty retail job
>smoke pot, play vidya and whack off for four years
Goddamn you hit me hard anon, I didn't even notice I was two years in.
Anyway, I'm looking to leave home and start a new life with my girlfriend, I'm about to reapply to my old 6th form college to actually get some decent grades, go to uni and make something of myself. I fucked it up completely last time but I'm ready to do this properly now. Feels good in the same way leaving home does.
I JUST WANNA SCREAM AND YELL FROM ANXIETY
1st of all sorry for the wallpaper, not at home right now.
Im tired of being myself. I'm tired of not getting to improve no matter how many times I try. I'm in a relationship with the most beautiful girl of my life and I will end fucking it up because I'm a manchild who can't grow up.
And then, "thanks" to my ADDH I forget how shitty I am, I believe I'm happy, untill next fuck up. Can I be more fucking useless?
nice texture dawg, looks like the two gordian knot album covers fucked.
Just got back from a run, feeling good about the future these days.
im stuck between wanting to be alone and not wanting to be lonely
time does not exist, clocks exist. There is only here and now and everything else besides that - memories of the past, expectations/fears of the future - that's all just in your head
i want to explore to space, just always thinking about that. i think i choosed the wrong job for myself but that's all, i'm a happy person.(i will be a lawyer, if god help me with the last year in the university)
my grandmother died yesterday, and my one of my best friends is going to die of muscular dystrophy within the next year or two in all likelihood. Neither of them were religious, and I feel like in general religion is fading away. I know it is fading away. Religion will eventually vanish, and I'll be one of those people in the genealogies that descendants will look at and wonder how it was I believed what I did.
But deep down in my very, absolute core, no matter how deep down I dig, no matter how many times I consider the possibility that this is all there is, there's a voice laughing at me for being short-sighted. My own self is telling me that I KNOW it's retarded to think this universe will ever ultimately make sense without religion, and that simultaneously, it's not fucking possible for it to NOT make sense. I've tried being atheist, but I return to my catholicism every time. It is illogical as all hell, but it feels more real and correct.
I feel like sharing my spirituality and letting it guide my life more, but nobody else is open to that idea and at this point, if I actually did that, I'd just end up hurting people I love who wouldn't understand, and helping no one.
The lights are going out in the human race, and nobody cares. Hopefully god will understand. I Maybe, with time, we'll even reinvent religion, and it will be better than it is now (how hard could that be?). But I wasn't born in that time.
Discard the attitude of self-pity, it will get you nowhere. However privileged or unprivileged you are is irrelevant; we all must make the most of what we have. Sit down and objectively look at your situation, and assess what needs to be done. Do not despair, do not resign to failure. Strive for success in everything you do, not just your primary goals. Only then will you rise above what you are.
The only reason you feel you need religion is because you were raised with it. You need to understand religion is bad for us as a species.
You're spirituality is tied to your concept of soul and god, and as it gets exposed as fake, you are getting torn apart. I was raised without religion, and I am as spiritual, fulfilled, and happy as any biblethumper. The difference is what I have comes from within and not belief in a false god.
Maybe it is too late for you, but understand that there is nothing catholicism gives you that atheism can't. I think it will make you happier as a person.
Religion will never make a comeback, and thank god for that.
I'm so scared right now.....like to the bone man.
All my life I've been let down by family, friends, work and life; until recently anyhow. I have a gf of four years and shes my light and my rock. I also have hella good paying job and a career field that I can grow in. We're even looking to buy a house by the end of the year. All seems well right? That is the part that scares me the most. All my life I've been let down and hit rock bottom so many times that I've had to build back up over and over. Just as things get good, WHAM! It all goes to shit.
I'm scared that any moment life is gonna shit on me and take it all away again...........I'm so scared of loosing her. I can get more jobs and money, but shes the one who pulled me out of my darkness and showed me what its like to be a human again.
I guess I'm just rambling like a faggot anyhows.....pape I took not to long ago.
Don't let your comfort zone bring you down, just because you are used to it. If you see an opportunity and there is a chance to make things right, go for it and give a big FUCK YOU to your comfort zone because you don't need it anymore.
And just to make things clear. Yes, by "comfort zone" I mean the state in which you are used to the most. Comfort zones aren't necessarily "comfy" but are just the states in which you are used to the most. It's the alienation and change you are afraid of, and your comfort zone is way down there in failure and "everything going to shit". By this time you should harden yourself to the point in which failure is expected, and it shouldn't bother you because you have gotten back up so much that it WILL come natural to you, if failure is to occur. SO don't worry about it and be awesome.
How do I know for sure? My life story is basically the same, only I lack the girlfriend and I have a different profession (I'm a musician). ;)
I'm pretty young and I feel like I'm ruining my life before it's even started. Lately I've just been testing my authority left and right, and it's slowly ruining my relationships. I've gone back to my old therapist and she seems to think I'm very depressed and I completely agree. Things aren't working out. I feel like a monster.
I got kicked out of my parents' house because of my bi-polar and depression. I've been crashing at a friend's house and things have been going quite well. Regardless of that, nothing has looked up in about three or four months. I'm back to my old habit of thinking of suicide every day. I think about who would miss me and if that outweighs my possible peace I would get by just not being here.
I'm relatively, I have a shit job, and I'm technically homeless. The only thing that brings me a small amount of happiness is playing Magic at the local nerd shop.
I miss my family so much, but I have hurt them too many times. I feel like a waste of space and I need to disappear one day. I'll walk into the woods near my friend's house, drink a lot of bleach (I know that it will kill going down, but I really don't care at this juncture), and puke my guts out until I'm dead. This time I will probably succeed and I hope I don't leave a huge hole in anyone's life. I'm honestly not that important.
> I'm honestly not that important.
you're really not, so get angry about not being important, make moves and start bumming off the magic nerds you play with, hell enter a fuckin tournament
above all, anger is a great motivator and poor decision maker, if things are truly shit like you said, guess it's time to do something to break the mold, even if for only a few minutes a day
I have a girlfriend that I don't feel anything for, I'm starting to look at the world in a different way and it scares me to see how lost everyone really is. Despite this, I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life and follow my dream, as cliche as that sounds. I just hope I don't give up like a lot of people do.
Ive put myself through hell but theres nothing short of bullets that will stop me from achieving success.
I feel you, anon. Recently I met a new woman who has been much more motivating and inspiring to me than my current girl whom I've known much longer. The thing is that sitting still kills me, and my current partner wants to relax and do arts all the time, which isn't bad at all but that's just not me [anymore]. This other woman, wow she amazes me with what she's done especially for how young she is.
Pic related, I'm Santiago on his way to the pyramids
I feel expendable, and I'm okay with this.
am I a pussy for finding this the only frightening thing in my life?
Feeling pretty chill with death, because i won't suffer when i'm in the epicenter of an atom bomb.
Damned. The world I know is just the finite gamble of men trying to take a small chunk of it all for themselves, but in the end the reaper takes all, and at the end of the reaper, nothing is taken or wagered or built or destroyed, for without our definitions it is only patterns- beautiful, spectacular patterns that we had a small time to witness while we wagered our chunks of things for more things. We only see so much before we are no longer. I wonder who will see the end of the things I saw begin, I wonder what will take the place of those things. when I am dead and decayed and mixed with the things, what things will my atoms constitute? How terrifying it is to be so finite, how tragic to be dying from the day we are born, how wonderful it is to have this chance to see all these things.
It's okay to be afraid of it, man.
Just don't let it seize you up. I know afterlife is a calming thought but from the people that have died and come back there's nothing out there.
This is all we get. At the same time you don't really need to do anything with life, it's yours pick what you wanna look back on.
I feel like I can do anything but I don't want to do anything. So I tried to do everything and I have accomplished nothing.
you already are anon. The only prison is your mind
I just want someone to be there to share the simple moments with me. I don't really have anything, but I want a lot more.
I got the chance of having everything i could wish for being young, now i feel like there is nothing more to discover and my days are on repeat.
when i was 19 i was depressed almost the entire summer and autumn. I had never played an instrument before but my dad gave me his old violin, and I took lessons and it helped me more than anything else. Music saves lives, anons.
I was raised catholic myself. I don't think other anons understand how "right" it feels. Ive "tried" (if thats the right word) being an atheist a few times but i just cant. You're not alone, anon. Everything will make sense in the end, I think.
I love this photo because it reminds me that happiness can prevail.
I struggled with being a pessimist for many years in my late teenaged years, but I finally realized that it is all about perspective. If you focus on all of the bad things that happen, it'll all bring you down to its level of negativity. If you focus on the good things, you will become a beacon of positivity.
Im not saying you have to be nice to everyone and shit, but just look at what has been provided to us and appreciate it. Happiness is about appreciating everything that we have, not counting our lacks.
Existence is a gift and we get the opportunity to be a part of it. Do something something good with it.
Being angry about something has never been a big motivator for me. I really don't get angry and when I do, it's volcanic and explosive.
I play in tournaments quite frequently. I don't do well, but the networking for sure is useful for hookups on deals and meeting really cool people or big movers and shakers in the Magic scene. I love and hate it. Love playing in a real event, hate seeing the same three decks over and over again with no new ideas being brought to the big three formats.
I'm actually going to go and kill myself right now. Goodbye /wg/. I'm grateful for the dank papes and the advice you've given me over the years. I hope you all enjoy the last wallpaper. It is my current one.
Im not depressed. But my default mood isn't happiness. Its just meh. There was a time when my default mood was positive, but I haven't felt that way for a long time. I mean I do get happy moments frequently, yet they have to be triggered.
For the past day now I've been feeling extremely nostalgic. I want to go back to this more simple time where I didn't worry about everything so much and when I didn't get bored so easily. Ive been adjusting my environment to encourage this nostalgia. Ive been listening to music I listened to (a lot of it is cringey but I still had some taste back then). Even though its mid-winter, the sun is out so Ive opened the curtains and let the light inside. Ive changed my desktop picture from the bleak and gloomy cityscape I had for months to pic related.
Im trying to figure out how to change my mood, and Im optimistic, but without confronting the source of the problem though. Part of me knows exactly who I have to encounter but the other part knows I have to move on. I just have to figure this part out.
I'm surrounded by those who love me and yet I only feel alone.
I feel stuck in life, that I'm never going to go anywhere.
I feel so many things that I can't equate into words.
But above all, I feel empty.
I know I'm an edgy fuck, but it's like this day in and day out.
Sometimes it goes away, but it's still there in the back of my mind. Waiting.
>>6445133 new thread
>in hindsight I should have waited longer for this one to die out
My name is David. I live in Montreal. I am 16 years old. I am about to kill myself. This is my suicide note. извини мeня мaмa
may the afterlife hold the place for you which this life did not
Death isn't "like" anything, because you will not have a consciousness to experience it with. You will cease to be, which will free you from an eternity of nothingness.
Now why would you do that? Actually it doesn't matter. Whatever reason, its just a hiccup in the plot of your life. And guess what, people get over hiccups.
Wait for daylight to come so you can see where you're going.
I ask myself why someone would love me, and I realize that those who do are probably asking themselves the same question. I used to hate the fundamental brokenness of the human condition, because I could not figure out why I was not able to fix it. It's because the missing piece is not inside yourself, it's found those around you, not necessarily loving them, but not despising them either. It's about realizing one's place, that we are a drop of water in the ocean of humanity, and that while we may make waves, all waves go still one day. I love you guys.
ever gone to sleep?
sometimes i remember dreaming. sometimes i don't.
sometimes i just stop- -and then i'm awake, and time has passed.
sometimes i think death must be like that.
in the gap between waking hours, there's just... nothing. it's not a lack of sensation, it's a total lack of experience. no time passes for me.
i do not fear sleep, i welcome it. why should i fear death?
maybe death isn't something to fear, so much as to be... reassured by.
no matter what happens now, it will eventually stop. at that time, there will be no regrets. no sadness. no introspection. no time spent missing what was, because there will be no time to spend.
it's not a 'good end', but neither is it a 'bad end'. it brings blessed release to a life gone wrong, and it introduces no loss to a life lived fully.
it just is.
It's about time I get off my ass and do what I want with my life