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- The NA Splatfest, Past vs Future, is now underway!
- Would you rather have a perfect body or a perfect brain? The next JP Splatfest starts 1/23 at 12:00 PM JST!
- The Custom Hydra Splatling is now available!
- Watch the trailer for the two new upcoming maps, Piranha Pit and Ancho-V Games!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XVAS1FiXMw
- Squid Sisters Concert announced for Japan on January 30th, 2016!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC0rxB_G014
>Official NA Tumblr:
WE WUZ PAST KINGS
Reminder to not bully the Marie advocates.
We're all friends here!
>get a level 10 Fanboy on the team, named "pooooooooooooooooooop"
>Still ink 80% of the map
Damn it feels good to be Team Past.
Every time you slander Marie, Callie gets another beating
>That Splatfest was fun, wasn't it Callie.
>Y-yeah, I won again...
>And you know what that means.
>B... b-but do we h-have to?
>Take it off Callie.
>And get me my bat.
>main account #teampast
>some games ez, some games i have to work for it (like some games I have 1300 points and we still lose)
>at +26 hawtness on past
>get on alt charger account, #teamfuture
>practice aim, not intentionally throwing, but not trying to win
>games are stomps no matter how little work I do
>want to cry
Almost makes me want to lurk the draw thread so I can get someone to draw Callie in this pose with the belly and her saying, "Sorry! I went back to the past, did some dirty things with a human and ended up with a half-breed!"
>winning off and on, rotating teams, as per usual
>get with a new team mid-defender
>undefeated from defender up to king, and then some
>mfw I had over 34 consecutive wins
I have literally never had this good a run during a splatfest, especially considering the team started rotating out and almost every match ended at least 50/40
>Marie has a replacement in Spla2n
>Callie hates her guts
A human in Inkopolis would do amazing
>Doesn't explode from enemy ink
>floats in water
>but can't swim in ink
You'd be like a tank. Slow, but impervious.
Not sure if you'd be able to refill your ink, though.
Why can't we have Splatfest all the time? It's so nice being able to play with western players at night, and the matches were still super fast. Keep the Japanese on their containment servers.
I'm pretty sure you'd be fine. It might be slightly heavier than the rollers we're used to, but it's still just a paint brush. The thing that kills Inklings is getting hit by the wrong kind of ink, not getting hit by the weapon itself.
The Mirror match ratio is only going to get worst as the kids wake up and the Skilled Past players get off and go to sleep.
Mirror Matches don't count towards any final win %. In fact, they hurt it. All they do is allow the skilled Future players to reach Royalty quicker and get off.
I wonder if the 'black' Inklings never had racial prejudice because the Octolings filled that job.
>Callie wins splatfest.
>Due to winning splatfest a Scientist decides to allow her to use his time machine to go back into the past.
>She meets a human and they fuck A LOT.
>She gets pregnant and gives birth to many inklings while there in the past.
>Comes back to the future eventually.
>Turns out she created a time paradox and made herself the ancestor of every inkling to ever exist.
And that's why Squids look like Kids.
Until you consider how impossible it is for a human to be compatible with a squid; either a conventional one or liquid based one, as well as how that's not how paradoxes work.
There's no rush to pick a team, since you can pick a team during the day of Splatfest. It's not really necessary to pre-train the Splatfest Tee. Waiting allows you to see how the popularity variable plays out.
It takes around 3-5 hours to reach Royalty depending on how balanced or unbalanced the teams are. You could wait until the last 5-6 hours of Splatfest to start playing and still reach Royalty, though being among the starting group gives you the best opportunity to find the skilled players. Thus being carried to Royalty even faster, or having to crawl there if you're unlucky,
I think it's the male Octolings that would be exploited as hell; probably reserved solely for breeding purposes given their low numbers, while their female counterparts are trained and weaponised.
>never had racial prejudice
That would depend on if they were separated initially. But seeing as inklings can change their skin and eye colour at will. It's hardly an issue they'd make a big deal over. Hitler would also be content,
>those faggots who keep trying to ink the turf of your base at Dome
She buys a smartphone that can give massages and print pizza and comes back to remind Callie she's still salty about the Burgers Vs Pizza Splatfest before giving herself a massage to calm down from all the stress.
Yeah,but over half of the 20ish games I've played have been mirrors,so it looks like future is more popular. This exact situation happened to me in the last 2 splatfests, which I lost
I just want to win one of these things for once
I'm pretty sure fucking that slime thing would be what it's like to fuck an Inkling.
Yes, future is definitely more popular,
While the multiplier remains at x6 the skilled players know there's little risk of a team managing to hold onto a win with popularity so they will flock away from the popular team. The resulting skill unbalance just makes Splatfest broken.
So support the team you want and possibly accept the loss, or pick the team the skilled players flock to to win.
Yes, Futurefags are for hugs and forgiveness, just like their Queen.
This is the perfect time for Future to make their comeback as the pro-past players would be heading off, Though good luck finding a solid team and praying for not many mirror matches.
That bully was unreal
Chargers just stood in front of their spawn the entire match
Any guesses how the Japanese fest will go? I have no idea which side they'd favor more.
Well, it's been a wild ride, futurecucks. May the future be bright.
That was so painless...connection errors aside.
rainyhere thats a charger right? I wouldnt bring up ids generally but this feels so familiar and is bothering me.
Are you implying there is any variety or skill in the Neon Call of Duty?
>Every single game i've played team future has had at least one afk
DID YOU GUYS REVERT TO DIAL UP OR SOMETHING
It was fun bullying with him if it was the same one, I feel so bad spawn camping though, I can never bring myself to fully bully.
>no suction bomb
>sprinkler destroys rainmaker shield so maybe
Past Vs Future Shoutouts:
¥§| Alex, Dispersey, nalani, Juju, lury, Tyler, CGGarnet, Damax, Jerry, jet, Nicole, Daniel, OmarSMO, Juppa, Momaro, Dylan, Shadow, aicome, Henry, DJ Leal, Joe Man, Johnny, melissa287, salami, vio, AADOnsuN, Amanda, Asgore óüò, Bran, Carson, Dave, DJ Khaled, gameboy64, Jack, kojo, lau_slayer, MysticPain, Sevensyn, Sylver, Turkey, William, yuu, Mecanico, Noid, V.avi, diana, Johnfresno, Rj, Scott, Angelique, Astarael, bootyhunt, Bribot, coque, Doug, DrAvarici, John, noboDy, Pancake, Pepperoni, pkspe Gold, Roxas, Tallon, yadi
Turf Points 17764
Turf Points 15089
Turf Points 19241
This was one of the easiest splatfests for me so far, not even that many connection errors. Thank you pastbros.
hey look who i found
so far the only good player i fighted on team future
Not Splatoon related, but
> Just watched Big Hero 6
> Great movie, but Gogo's hips and ass in that tight suit were really distracting
> tfw I realize there's going to be a load of porn of her
>there are enough people playing Krak-on roller and other Kraken sets on team future that I got matched against three Krak-ons and another Kraken on Kelp
Jesus, I'm so sorry future-people. The ghost of Christmas present is haunting you seeing as your team has most of the squibs that don't even know enough to not take Kraken into a rotation that is two-thirds grate city.
>win every mirror match
>lose every actual match
seems like today, a mmemimin is getting sneaky with some furtive tactics...
>when she gets down here, i'll splat her...!! hehehe...
but sometimes, the opponent gets the better of you, and that's why it's always good to have a backup plan. better luck next time!
>after that, there was a huge explosion.
maybe she chose team perfect brain...?
>one of those fags who spam Booyah on death
>I know the enemy is there but there is no need for me to risk it
>booyah spam so much I just splat the guy to shut him up
>team member is booyahing even faster now
fuck it backfired
She is; but I dunno what you mean be personalities.
First time seeing a woomy in a dinosaur suit.
I suppose life styles would be a better word. A done up hairstyle would be practical for a fit, strong, sporty type of girl like Callie. Marie being less active wouldn't have to worry about longer hair getting in her way.
I am hopelessly loving this. Who would've thought that what is basically posing dolls would be so much fun.
Squibs. I'd say majority of my matches against Future their team had people sub 20.
I felt bad for this one level 50 on Future who was obviously pretty good but could not carry those new players.
oh believe me that fun dies real quick after you get used to it and turns into an addicting hobby you can't stop
>Finally get back after a few months without a connection
>Flip through the stores quickly before going to scout out some of the maps that popped up in my absence
>Stuck listening to Sheldon for what feels like three hours
Has there been any more DEEPEST LORE other than the painting of a human in the art gallery?
Which is why I'm going to live it up while I can.
>at this point, marie having bigger tits than callie has ascended "personal preference" headcanon and become a "everyone else is doing it so i have to" headcanon
fuck my life
That's because it makes perfect sense.
Callie's fitter, Marie's lazier, Callie's purer, Marie's sexier; it all adds up. And it's kinda neat to see artists catch onto that.
>there are people who dont fight for the future and would rather live in the past
>Marie will never slap you
>Marie will never take you backstage and tell you to ask permission first
>implying the past is any better
At least we'll still have video games in the future. If you went backwards, there's no way to distract yourself or otherwise hide from the world.
you are a poor sick man, religion has its place, and without it, we would not have such a grand culture in the first place
the masses need their feint little hope, and reality will only make them rowdy
but even if a headcanon might make sense, there's always some variation to it if it's just a sort of logical thing.
yet, there's such a ubiquitous following to it, and people get upset when people draw anything contrary.
with such a massive scale, it's clear that it's not just something that people draw because they've taken the time to think about which squid sister would have bigger tits with a discussion of careful reasoning, they just decided that since everyone else was drawing marie with bigger tits, they should be doing that too.
not the guy you replied to but think of it this way
majority of the round the enemy team is splatted
why the fuck isn't my team inking. im getting top kills and turf inked so I'm doing my part
i traded taking out 3 people. im looking at this fool inking around spawn aimed down at the floor with a jet squelcher
>splats don't matter in turf war
I'm sick of this meme.
This isn't the testfire where no one knows how to play anymore.
Only covering turf isn't gonna secure you a win, making sure the enemy team can't cover is.
Of course, but that doesn't mean it's not still done.
If you can't find a picture of Callie with a pair of cans, you're not looking hard enough.
If we were to use real logic, the "Marie is heavyset" headcanon would go down the drain, because idols can't be anything but stick thin.
There's just too many damn Mariefags.
why did god have to make me a tits man?
Because women are beautiful, and tits are beautiful.
I order them Hips, Tits, Thighs.
Eyes, Waist, Smile, and Heart are pretty important too.
Attached to Marie, so she can play with them whenever she wants and doesn't have to carry around even more excess mass next to her tentacles.
>their entire team has krakens
>our entire team has bubblers
which one of you fucking faggots is this
this is why past is better
Not this time, we hold the most bad squibs on our side again. We can't recover.
>K/D of 10 to 1
>Most paint points on me team
>We lose something like 16 to 70
i don't want to try anymore. shitting on your dick was fun enough
>nine year old relative is playing Splatoon
>check how she's doing
>she's just dicking around, killing and inkling the least
>she still has a 5.0 vibe
future fags are losing to fucking children!
Uh, I believe the best part of the female body is her, uhm, her BRAIN?
You're uh, you're welcome, dick.
That's, um, that's right, how do you like that uhhh that shit, brother? Uhuh yeah.
>all these cocky past fags saying future is obviously going to lose
>mfw I'm 19.5 vibe
>mfw I've only lost like once to pastfags
>have been have more trouble with future mirrors than I have against past shitters
>every past team I run into is either dumb squibs or shitty higher level players
>Having mirror matches
I have some bad news for you and the bad news is that it doesn't matter how well you do.
Anyone have the bingo card?
It's going be one of those days again of nothing but squibs placing beacons at spawn and no one inking turf.
>he thinks he is going to save the future
Really wish paint.net had a way to autosave as png
That... doesn't mean much, honestly. I'm on Future too, and I think the trashy players I've been paired with are more common than anything now. It was good when it first started, but now every team I've had has been awful, and any dream teams I COULD have are lost due to comm errors. Even teams that manage good K/D ratios are losing bad.
>do you honestly think your performance will have a thing to do with the end results?
No, but the teams you run into in Splatfest are usually an okay indicator as what type of players are on the other team.
Only time where I ran into bad players on the other team but still lost hard was Autobots vs Decepticons.
Still a little salty about that.
Easiest Splatfest yet. Is Future even trying?
>No, but the teams you run into in Splatfest are usually an okay indicator as what type of players are on the other team.
No, they aren't. They're an indicator of whatever the hell the backassward matchmaking feels like putting you into.
>implying it isn't true
Reminder that winning popularity puts you at a disadvantage
>tfw I started today at 76/99 Champion
>tfw I'm going to make Future King on losses alone
>I can't even get good players on mirrors, of all fucking things
This is probably the shittiest Splatfest for me as far as good teams go. Fucking people rush for the middle and leave our spawn uncovered, and they can't even hold the middle worth shit.
>tfw don't care about the theme enough to splatfest
should i still do it for her?
There's a lotta art of Marie with twitchy ears.
I hope this becomes a trend.
Shitposting aside pirates vs ninjas was even more distorted regarding popularity.
The popularity was too even for it to have mattered. Art won through lag, I know, I watched teammates fly through the air and swim through enemy ink with Inkbrushes and Rollers to splat Science Chargers and Shooters
callie's ears are better
I am not a fan of ears.
But if it was her fetish I would suck Callie's until she was deaf.
>eliter on my team
>kelp splatterscope on enemy team
>my eliter goes 0/7
>name was pokemaster all lowercase
I didn't pay attention to his name until the results screen but that would explain everything
Many ways to identify shitters and the underage
Numbers in name, all lowercase name, location tag i.e. BR, and more
Names of nintendo characters often indicate an underage player. Meme, anime or flavour of the month names like from
Undertaleare shitters usually.
I imagine she is quite vanilla, but probably enjoys some light spanking
That would be adorable; the reserved, famous Callie salivating and rubbing her legs together at the sight of a busty woomy in a short dress
callie seems like she would have a cum fixation
she would love to have you
cum deep down her throator cum on her faceor let her lap up all your cum after a handjobor cum on her tits after paizurior pump her full of your semenor cum on her tentacles
So basically Taka-Michi's representation of Callie.
I can totally picture Callie turning into this semen craving monster after discovering sex on her wedding night.
Never, you're stuck on the ride forever.
>he doesnt understand what you can do with ink res
>finish a match
>select stop playing
>a communications error has occured
>kicks me out of the lobby and into the plaza
that's like closing a game causing it to crash which causes steam to crash
Sort of, except less chubby.
She's probably into squirting too
Bamboozler is a gift from god - it can challenge chargers with splash walls, always has perfect accuracy (like the other chargers), kills insanely fast with damage ups, which means it can handle close encounters with enemies almost as well as the e-liter 3k does. Not sure about the sloshing machine though
I don't think so, but we definitely should
>wreck everyone's shit
I've been using the sloshing machine these last few days and it's reliable from my point of view. The way the ink moves around makes it good to psych people out when they think they're safe but I've found it to be more reliable when it has stacked damage ups.
15 matches and already tired of playing, just not feeling it.
Should I just take my defender prize and let you lot handle the rest or slog though to royal?
Flame and Jazzy, you are true patriots of the past. Thanks for carrying me to King, and remember that Skub is bad for you.
Eat it future fags!
i'd be up for it if anyone's interested? please keep it classy anons...
>Be Christmas Squib
>Using Custom Hydra, which people tell me is terrible
> >+10 Vibe, getting 10/1 kill ratios and similar
I know that this game is full of children, but goddamn team future what the fuck I've had this game for like three weeks I shouldn't be massacring like this
i think this was the fastest i got to queen
it was pirates vs ninjas all over again tbqh
>keep getting splatted in close quarters because of analog aiming causing near misses
>motion controls just make me nauseous
Would it kill them to make a separate sensitivity curve for the y-axis? Every time I try to aim down the reticle slams to the floor and fucks me.
Can I still count Beakons at spawn if I'm the one that did it? I fat fingered it at the start of a match.
>past teammate level 48 tentatek
>0/4 & ~200 points
>Next game goes 0/6 & ~200 points
What the actual fuck
>Splatfest of Marie vs Callie
>If you vote Marie, you're on Callie's team
>If you vote Callie, you're on Marie's team
Waifufags would probably kill themselves from the confusion.
But you're befitting your waifu's wishes and creating cohesion amongst your peers.
It'd be the first Splatfest where there isn't any fighting.
Human survivors living in orbital facilities and deep-ocean habitats
Cephalopod conspiracy nuts get mocked for obsessing over supposed lights occasionally seen descending or ascending from a remote patch of open ocean
please and to be make use GOOD splattonn stream here:
towards and chat for ourselves in each other
>be trained as deep sea scout to look for new habitats and resources
>encounter difficulties in submersible
>emergency forces me to the surface
>spend days floating at sea
>run out of food and water
>unconscious, wash up on shore
Callie finds me and nurses me back to health
This sucks, I'm getting just mirror matches. Where are you, past?
here's what i've got so far, i was gonna say something about pimp my woomy but that's not a good idea
>cant wake up
>playing like shit
>feel like shit
>need to continue
Sorry assfags, I cant get it together today
Undersea they just use cables same as we do already
If we have space habitats we'd probably have high bandwidth communication beam interlinks
biggest faff would be hooking the two together while keeping the surface transceiver hidden.
>wrecking shit left and right as future
>get a future vs future match
>other team is just roller squibs running in circles
>another future vs future match
>the other team gets so salty the host disconnects.
Welp, was a good run.
>while you're recuperating, start playing an RPG on an old console
>delving in the suspiciously high-tech Ruins of the Ancients dungeon you realize they're based on humans
>if there's an airship at the bottom of this, you're so done it's unreal
ok shit i didn't know that, thank you anon
i'm assuming this is a peachy woomy? also, small things can still be added!
How the fuck? ... How did you discover it?
Splatoon ripping off Metal Slug when?
Enough already. Let me fight more of my Future brethren so that I can have the satisfaction of straight-up wrecking them. Because that's the only victory I can achieve with teammates like this.