/srg/ Speedrunning General

>>127599095
At least there's no touhou this year.

>>127599095
why is that valve image the OP of this thread

Guys spam chat and try to get people to say the word midget, it's an hour ban

First for based Noir

>>127599140
>>127599051

quality posts from CRINGE memers

Velocity2x is a legitimately good speedgame

>>127598609

They literally started doing it, the absolute madmen

Where the drama at

>>127599327
nosraef OUT

>>127599335
AGDQ confirmed lurking

Its not cringey at all its just an edgy kid who thinks beeing sarcastic all the time is funny.

holy shit this guy is fast

>>127599465

the only thing that is legitimately cringe'y are the people who feel the need to talk shit on him for showing up and actually being himself

this nigga is moving QUICK

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>>127599541
fast at deleting saves LMAO cuz he's bad

Is he using scripts to do that super fast bunny hop?

took me ages to get bhopping down

then I forgot how to do it a week later

>>127599702
He literally explained it when he first started

>>127599585

Its good that he's trying to be himself but you can tell he doesnt rly know how.

How old is Noir? Is he legal?

*quicksaves*

>reloading saves for more health
>spam saving in case he fucks up
why is this alowed

HL2 runners are so cool

>>127599814
because its built into the game

>>127599814
because you touch yourself at night

reminder that azorae is literally our boi

>>127599912
HotLine 1 is better

this run is pretty good so far honestly

>>127599814
uhhh, because that's how you go fast?!?

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god nosraef is so based. look at how confident he is.

>>127599814
Because what he's abusing are game glitches not actual typing into the console or cheating.

>>127599941
i usually do it during the day

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>>127599429
Reminder Noir is a fuccboi that lurks /srg/ and gets off on anons berating him

Can you still bhop like this in the current hl2 version?

>>127599764
Sorry i was too busy shitposting in chat

I wish someone would do a Surfing exhibition at a speedrun party, that'd be sweet.

Save deletion killed HL2 runs

>>127599775
>Its good that he's trying to be himself but you can tell he doesnt rly know how.

i don't have any meme macros on this computer so instead i'll just say i'm confused and kind of disappointed

speedrunners are introverted and probably prone to anxiety by nature, the fact that he is going through it to show up in person and even putting the effort forth to try to be personable is above and beyond what a lot of people can manage. the fact that the dude is even trying should give him respect, not an unending wall of CRINGE

>>127600005
what a fag

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>>127599816

>>127600043

tranny or just crossdresser?

>>127599985
1 > 3 > 2

>>127600043
cigarettes have done a number on him

>>127600043
our guy

>>127600006

He just typed something into the console tbqhwy

>>127600043
>lurks /srg/ and gets off on anons berating him
Nice fanfiction, /v/irgin. The only thing he does is ctrl + f his name here like a lot of other faggots in this community.

>>127600005
fucking hell

Triggered by the revolver?

what

someone post the webm of jarvitz showing his phone

>>127600000

this runner/run is pretty chill

I did my 4 squats like 40 minutes ago /srg/!

I'm doing 4 more in 20 minutes!

If I do 4 squats every hour for a week will I have a nice butt?

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>That voice

>>127600330

no

hey ari greetings from literal germany
can you be my (speed)bf? pls hmu on twitter ty

>>127600298
he's just a little boy

>>127600330
no
gotta progress (in weight or in reps)
and have no more than 5 minutes between sets

>>127600169
crossdresser.

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>I'm just a little boy

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>>127600005
another one

https://twitter.com/Nosraef/status/684281040161128448

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>I'm just a little boy, sometimes I get spooked.

how can someone suck so hard? literally get jammed to every fucking barrel in the way. so fucking awful

>>127600270
new gun in go

>>127600040

I'm doing it right now :3c

>>127600475
So what would you suggest I do then?

>>127600482
m.gira pls go

>>127600043
would

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>you will never sound like a christmas elf

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>>127600330
Post vids so we can assess your form qt

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>>127600330
Pic related. Then you shall have a nice butt and a killer right hook.

>>127600520
link yer run fampai

>>127600564
squat like a men with weights

I've been away from SRG for ages, what happened with werster?

>>127600270
A CSGO update released a R8 revolver.

It was the most imbalanced shit ever.

>>127600209
>hey mono
Mike having an aneurysm right now.

>>give mossman my wood

TRIGGERED

B A N N E D
A
N
N
E
D

SJWS BTFO
NOIR BEST RUNNER ALL YEARS

TRIGGERED

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>>127600486
>>127600154
>>127600005
he is all over the place

banned

l-lewd

yes I will take your wood in my mouth and drain it all the way through

TAKE MY WOOD, YOU PRUDE

>such a prude
wew

>ebin benis jokes

SO FUNNAY XD

literally banned

HAHA WOOD NO REALLY HE SAID WOOD

extremely banned

>keep your eyes on the wood here

this guy is so banned

>>127600659
Got banned for stealing room keys at a previous GDQ like the thieving Aussie cunt he is.

>making sex jokes in a gdq
This guy's gonna get permabanned from Twitch and all future GDQ events.

It's all fun and games now but there's not a doubt in my mind that they will actually ban him for that

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LOL wood haha XDDD

Not reinvited

DUDE WOOD LMAO

how OLD is that kid?

COSMO LITERALLY SHAKING RIGHT NOW

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>run is decent
>runner and couch have fun
>crowd entertained
>/v/eddit: OMG CRIIINGE REEEEEEEEEEEE

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So meming aside, how likely is it that they will ban him and/or cancel his run for that?

what a cringey load of shit streamer fuck why are all speedrunners so autistic

OH DEAR GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, MAXIMUM CRINGE HAS BEEN ACHIEVED

>press ~
>load credits

i'm a speedrunner

>using console cheats in a marathon run

>using console cheats in a marathon run

>using console cheats in a marathon run

HES A BIG BOY

Is this guy literally trying to start a live ERP session?

he is not letting up on this wood bullshit

HL2 never existed
Noir is an unperson

this guy just rubbed his butt pillow on that other guys face

are they using a laugh track?

>>127600612
what do i do?
>>127600629
I would try it if it didn't say 10KM running every day
>>127600642
I don't have weights but how should I do my reps?

Should I do 4 squats, wait a minute or two, then do 6 squats, wait a minute or two and then do 8 squats.

Then do that each day?

>>127600810
Hahaha no fucking way!

>>127600883

I think they are discussing it right now.

manlets btfo

>>127600815

I'm calling the police right now, let's get this monster swatted

>talking about being a dragon

CONFIRMED OTHERKIN AS WELL. WOW

>>127600883
95%

unless the donationbux start flooding in

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this is the worst runner so far

>>127600883
ban him yes, cancel his run no. they don't want to lose favour with the viewers

THIS IS
TOO
LEWD

>>127600043
I'd get off to devastating his ass and thoat.

>>127600883
i would give it a 71% chance

Is this kid underage?

Seriously is noir another trans "person" or just an attention seeking sissy twink like missy?

How fucking hard is it to read a comment to yourself before you start blurting it out into the microphone? EVERY. FUCKING. GDQ.

>>127600945
and saying "fucking niggers" on bonus stream

This kid is totally getting b& m80s

what if i build some extreme good pc to skip through frames faster in visual novels and run em for wr ?

>>127600939

geez nigger get a backpack and put some heavy stuff in their or smth you will achieve nothing with 4 reps every hour

>>127601030

more like 36%

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>unironically using inside jokes outside of the group they were made

What is wrong with this guy?

that's it I'm literally gay I don't even need to see a skirt

>toxic masculinity jokes
>violence apology
>transmisogyny against dragonkin

can this bigot be removed already?

>>127600043
qt! :3

>>127601071
Just a crossdresser

Jesus fucking christ what am I watching?

>i love you blueglass

>>127600883
I wasnt watching the stream Can someone tell me what happened?

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this is the best runner so far

I JUST TUNED IN
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?

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>lesbian licking webm deleted before my download finished

>>127601184
memes happened

>>127601098
Wellllll can you tell me what amount of reps of squats I WILL achieve something with?

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>>127601120

>>127601170
and the cutest :3

>>127601071
attention seeking twink/crossdresser

>>127600043

is that the guy running RN??

This reminds me of when Werster speedran at GDQs

>>127601184
some idiot "speedrunner" can't even bhop in hl2

it's velocity all over again

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>he doesn't want to be a dragon

>>127601071
noir just needs a healthy dose of dick in the ass

>>127601090
Also this, yes
>>127601184
A lot of people thought this HL2 run would be awful. It is, but it is entertainingly bad.

>>127601125
I thought sissies were included in the whole HBTQ thing. They wouldn't attack one of their own kind right?

https://strawpoll.me/6461613
https://strawpoll.me/6461613
https://strawpoll.me/6461613

>>127601267
except woober was funny

>noir is 18

im gonna fuck

>>127600980
t. reddit

How in the fuck can you grind through a game repeatedly, looking for glitches and shit, and not even know what events occur in it? :O

>>127601238

its not about the amount its about that you can barely make it. Get so much weight you can barely do 6 maybe 7. Do this 3 times. Then skip one day and do it again. If u can do more then 8 easily add more weight.

>>127601338
reddit btfo

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>>127601071
Attention whore

>>127601340
It was more laughing at him than him being funny though

>>127601338
both desu

This guy speaks like that meme rap guy

[quicksave intensifies]

>>127601402
how the fuck can you grind a game and not have played it once casually is the better question

it's not even like it's a bad game

>close your eyes it will be over soon
subtle

>"Just close your eyes it'll be over soon"

RAPE JOKES

TRIGGERED

Why are people saying he's getting b&?

>>127601437
>These are the kinds of people in /srg/

>>127601071
Why the fuck do you care?
Go zo shemaletube if you always have dicks on your mind.

>>127601437
What did AdamAK tweet about serg?

>>127601292
Who doesn't? Prostate stimulation is bretty gud

>just close your eyes it will be over soon
B A N N E D
A
N
N
E
D

Noir is almost as bad as Nosraef

>>127601536

You look at what other people do and then copy them

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Would you give her your wood, /srg/?

>>127601616
The only difference is you'll get people defending Noir's autistic attention-seeking behavior because virgins want to fuck him.

>>127601558
He's being an edgelord, Uyama doesn't like fun and has banned for less.

>>127601647
i'd give noir all my wood

>>127601647
hahahahahah LOL
wood :P

lol

Greetings from ________! First time ________, long time ________, I had to donate to support such ________ games and a ________ cause. This donation is dedicated to the memory of my ________, who ________ [to / from] ________ cancer. Let this money go towards ________ing the animals and making sure this ________ disease never ________ anyone again. Let's ________ cancer's ________! ________ HYPE!!!

>>127601647
in an instant

>>127601560
As much as anonymity might make it believable, 4chan is not a hive mind.
The people here can be wildly different from one another. Many people disagree with any opinion you might give, but most of them just don't care enough to challenge you on it.

>missing 3 out of 6 shots
>speedrunner

>>127601634
i know but come on just play the game once to know what happens in it

>saying twitch emoticons outloud

Why

>>127601839
hi duke

>>127601839

well memed!

>>127601151

The runner made a joke about giving a female character his "wood"

noir not making friends among the twitter liveblog scene

>>127601942
notlikethis

>>127601883
no

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>long way lion
AAAAAAHAH

>>127601839
You may aswell fill in the first part because I swear every fucking message is "greetings from germany"

>>127601839
you have to say what kind of word goes in the blank, like "verb" "noun" "proper noun"

>>127601942
because

Kappa

>>127601883

GOTTA GO FAST :^)

TWEET AT NOIR

>>127602002
haha ive noticed that too!!!

Does anyone know noir's phone number?

>>127600043
cuddly af

>>127600482
I NEED LOVE

Uh oh, angry internet people are calling for noir's head on a platter.

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>>127602220
>r*pe

>>127602002

Thats why these fucks are called germoney

>>127602220
d*ng

>>127602181
if i did i wouldnt be here and he wouldnt be there
:)):):)

>>127600043
>jerked of to this picture last year

>>127602220
what's wrong with rope jokes?

>>127602220
>>127602275
what's wrong with rope jokes, thats what i want to know

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>>127602220

Greetings from germany! First time immigrant, long time shitskin, I had to donate to support such shit games and a fucking waste of money of a cause. This donation is dedicated to the memory of my husband, who is suffering [to / from] twitch cancer. Let this money go towards fugging the animals and making sure this shit disease never benis anyone again. Let's cough cancer's cough! duke bilgewater HYPE!!!

>>127602220
noir got them ripe jokes

>>127602012
>>127602012
Greetings from 11! First time bubbles, long time charcuterie, I had to donate to support such such games and a be cause. This donation is dedicated to the memory of my memory, who travels to the tropic of cancer. Let this money go towards orange-ing the animals and making sure this healthy disease never talks to anyone again. Let's fighting cancer's sex change! Trump HYPE!!!

>>127602352
>>127602372
no you idiots she doesnt like ripe fruit

>>127601839
Greetings from The USA! First time transitioner, long time whinerI had to donate to support such vc-j games and a vacation-worthy cause. This donation is dedicated to the memory of my dick, who was lopped off by mental cancer. Let this money go towards sex reassignment surgerying the animals and making sure this mental disease never skips anyone again. Let's fuck cancer's boipussy! arbitrary categories HYPE!!!

>>127602352
>>127602372
she's saying ripe you idiots

>>127602220
>mfw feminists get triggered by fruit jokes

jesus christ.

why does playing videogames fast attract so many tranny faggots?

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>>127602220

fucking scrub

>>127601942
KappaPride

>>127602220
>>>/v/

>>127602428
>>127602436
Ohhhhh so "ripe" memes are like counterparts to "dank" memes?

>>127602513
noir can burn for all I care but they better leave blechy alone

>>127602512
Masculine brain development but fucked up hormones

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>>127602220
>>127602513

Women

>>127602220
>>>/v/

>Crossdresser: I LOOOOOVE prison.
Hahaha oh god.

>>127601839
>Greetings from the UK! First time jihadist, long time muslim, I had to donate to support such haram games and a noble cause. This donation is dedicated to the memory of my abdi, who died [to / from] explosive cancer. Let this money go towards fucking the animals and making sure this white British disease never cucks anyone again. Let's bomb cancer's capital city! VIRGINS HYPE!!!

we noticed, it just wasn't funny

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>>127602435
>Let's fuck cancer's boipussy!

Fuckin DED

>>127602513
ironically women are known for not shutting the fuck up

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>prison is fun

>prison is lots of fun
FUCKING ASSHOLE I TOURED ALCATRAZ ONCE AND GOT PTSD FROM THE TRAUMA OF THINKING OF WHAT IT MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE TO BE THERE

>>127602513
please stop posting these, i've been triggered enough today

>>127602658
She's not wrong. PC gamers are insufferable losers with no friends.

>>127602658
oh I googled that one once, don't do it

>>127602686
refresh your stream lol

>>127602658

he definitely didn't mean to objectify women's genitalia and then use it as an insult! that would be incredibly degrading to women!

>>127602793
That's true, although I make $120k/year as a game tester thanks to the hobby so I'm cool with it

>>127602793
t. sonygger

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>>127602393
Immigrants don't donate. It's your civic duty to donate to their salary.

pics of noircat crossdressing where?

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>>127602513
>Colored hair
>Thick rimmed glasses

>>127602658
because calling somebody an elitist twatwaffle is a very humble and nice thing to do

I lost the Hotline miami run, is there anywhere I can watch it?

>>127602998
JIMMY ÅKESSON 2K16

>>127603027
please tell me this is real

>>127603076
no it was wiped

>>127603076
on the reddit

>>127603027
who?

>>127603027
>>127600043
>>127603096

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>>127603027

>Hated headcrab
>Thing of nightmares
Pretty rude to say that about Headcrab

>>127603145
>ggooiinngg ttoo llee rreeddddiitt iinn 22001166

hhaahhaa,, nniiccee mmeemmee ffrriieennddoo

>>127603145
How do you find things on there?

Meltdown on GameJ06 (bignig) stream
>gets run shafted because he said some stuff they didn't like last year
>he reached out to mike but it was ignored and his posts were removed from the forum
>gets copyright notice for putting GDQ logo on his own stream
>gets warned by staff for flashing mario golf cartridge at the event
>security guards harassing him while watching run
>other runners wanted him to give commentary but staff has to authorize it

You wonder now why GDQ is shit?

>videogames at the age of 4

>>127603076
just think of every meme you've every read on /srg/ and laugh to yourself between each one and that's the run

I'll donate another $30 if the runner gets down on all fours, wriggles his butt and screams "I'm gay!" in his most high pitched voice for 60 seconds.

>>127602928
>Implying they even test games before releasing them these days
lmao

>>127603298
so accurate it's not even funny

>>127603142
>>127603145
Jesus guys, i looked into the channel's past broadcasts and it wasn't there, I'm just asking if there's a youtube channel or whatever that already uploaded this shit.

>>127603267
>>127603269
>someone on reddit already put the list you are asking for together
>b-but i want someone on 4chan to do it!

>>127603269
https://www.reddit.com/r/speedrun/comments/3z9fyi/agdq_vod_thread_2016/
>>127603267
i used to be a purist like you. it's just easier to not give a fuck.

>>127603258
He's pretty cute.

>>127603309
ill donate another $50 dollars if the reader says "im a gullible little goose"

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>>127603258
>>127600043
holy shit he looks like my x girlfreind

>>127603258
~uguuu

>>127603286
Wow his run last year was very entertaining

Fucking AGDQ

>>127603369
>>127603372
sorry i thought the doubles of every letter would be a funny way of showing my sarcasm

>>127603258
Post the one with trihex groping him.

>>127603258
cute desu

but that was clearly like 2 years ago.

he's aged a bit

>>127603369
>going to reddit
>advertising other websites
?

>>127603434
and now it talks about how doing things for attention is wrong for attention

>>127603286
What did he say that they didn't like?

>>127603539
eggroll

>>127603539
nignog

>>127603448
iiss tthhiiss tthhee nneeww mmeemmee??

>>127603471
which one

>>127603403
kys

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>>127603372
fanks!

>>127600043
WHY ARE MOST SPEEDRUNNERS MENTALLY ILL

Does anyone know how I can become noirs friend

>>127603654
No normal person would plazy the same fucking game over and over and over again

>noir started to talk abrupt and stuttery once I activated his buttplug
so cute :3c

>>127603696
i'd like to know too, i want to get some nudes

>>127603601
iitt ccoouulld bbee ttbbhh ffaamm

>>127603752
I know you're lying but I hope you're not

>>127603539
He kept making comments on how they should give Mario Golf a chance ( it's literally a 15 minute game ). There were a lot of donations with messages asking for Mario Golf which probably pissed off Uyama greatly since he has huge power trips and gets really angry when people do not listen to him. That is probably why he hired security staff this year.

>>127603752
>tfw no master

>not allowed to say the name of
>but "take my wood" is allowed
ayy lmao

>>127603752
This made me realize how very possible this exact scenario that you've presented is.
And I am loving it.

>>127603286
its not like they could stop him anyway

wait

they seriously hired private security for this bullshit?

>>127603951
what's it called?

NOTCH
CALLED
OUT

>>127604005
Of course. With gdq growing every year they need to make sure it's safe. If something happens it would be their responsibility.

>>127604020

yeah have no clue too

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reminder

Noir is really cute desu

>>127604174
yep that's what I was talking about
fucking degenerate retard

>>127604020
faggot prop nigger fucking

unfortunate name really, alienates a lot of people

>>127604174
yoo trihex

>>127604005
honestly they fucking need it

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>>127604005
It's a must now

>>127604174
NOIRED

>"Cringe" being auto censored in chat

And here I thought we could get through one marathon without doing that shit.

OMG THAT STEREOTYPICAL GIRL VOICE
TRIGGERED AGAIN

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silly boys

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>>127604174
ITS REAL NIGGA

>>127604174
BBC

>>127604174
>yfw trihex cucked serg

>>127604272
This place is literally merging with imgur.
I don't really mind

>>127604128
Or they could bar all the non-runner cancer from the event. Those groupies keep shitting up the event even more.

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>>127604174
>you will never stick your wiener in either of them

>>127604348
i wonder how many words are autofiltered now

it's gotta be a few dozen at least

>>127604174
I want his dick

>>127604005
yep
gotta protect that paypal money from the thieves

>>127604320
top heh

So they've banned people for saying shit after their runs finished, what would it take for them to stop someone mid run and eject them?

>ran out of donations
JUST

>>127604409
The whole concept of black twitter is the exact offtopic cancer general on /v/ called filenames.

>>127604397
>implying
he himself said only 7 when he's ssj powered up

>>127604530
flashing their dick at the camera or pulling out a gun and going on a shooting spree.

>>127604530
CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM

>>127604445
>>127604483
fuck off

>>127604530
they'd probably have to full controllerhead on cam for that

Why is half-life 2 being run but not 1? half-life 2 like 2/3 cutscenes?

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>>127604409

>>127603769
>>127603696
hang out in his stream

infiltrate his discord/skype groups

>>127600043
holy shit this is the person running? wtf?

>>127604174
reminder they are both 5 foot 7

>>127604530
telling the audience that the charity mostly prints posters and the president skims $300k/year

both of which are true

How is this a "speedrun"

>>127604530
If they kept swearing or said any of the big ones like "nigger", "faggot", or "cunt", I imagine they would at least get someone come up and be like "don't do that again" if not kicked out on the spot.

>>127604530

Nothing short of someone spewing racial epithets could stop a run midway. Crash Bandicoot is the perfect example

>>127604530
Expose the fraud that is Mike Uyama, his fake condition and how he is getting paid large sums of money by the faux charity they support.

>>127604780
>Crash Bandicoot is the perfect example

Post example

HNGGGG

>>127604831
check here friend: >>>/v/

>>127604778
I just realized that they could probably get something to go just to his headphones.
Like, if it was getting bad they could be like "don't do that again" so that only he can hear it.
If they do, in fact, have a setup like that, then it's a virtual guarantee that they said something to him after the wood thing.

>most fun part of the run
>one of the most fun parts of the run
>i love this trick
>this one looks really cool
god this is like a breath of fresh air

>>127604718
Grindr whirr?

Legit question here. What happened to Blueglass? I miss his antics tbqh

Who got banned??

>>127604790
Evidence? I don't doubt it, but it'd be nice to have two feet to stand on

>>127605009
what the literal fuck are you talking about

>>127605009
>>127605074
>>127605009

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>that "girly" voice

Someone get this fuckboy outta here

>>127605074

your mum LOL

>>127605009

He was abducted at SGDQ 2015. To keep the illusion of him being a free man alive, they periodically play a loop of his laughter

>>127605009
you can literally hear the dude laughing every 20 secs

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY LETS ALL APPLAUD THAT

>>127604778
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iZCU21HO-0

what's with this meme donation?

>>127605009
do your ears not function

>>127605009
Mike banned him after this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo1r2_CjPhE

>>127605135
you can tell he practiced it desu

Apparently Big Jon is streaming and dissing AGDQ and shit.

DEEP INSIDE

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>deep inside

NOW THE DONATION READER IS GOING TO GET BANNED TOO

it never ends!

wow what the fuck why didnt valve just make that window larger lol

>>127605271
Based big jon

>>127605307
xhe passes as female!

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>Citrine's bad layout cancer claims another victim
well at least it's not anyone important

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Just tuned in for today and at first I thought the runner is a girl.