it's that time again, /v/
I just beat him right now and I've only been playing for 10 minutes.
I was at piglet when I started.
>through your mouth
You say that like it's not hard. Have you actually beaten Christopher Robin?
>Hit almost all of the balls
>Most are foul
I've only played against him 3 times so maybe I'll be better this next matcg
Never played this before. Currently on Roo. Fucking cheeky cunt. God damn bouncy fucks at random speeds.
There's a Pooh mini golf game on the same site that's also hard, but not nearly as much. It's pretty cool.
All of it.
>Implying Pooh didn't deserve everything that has happened to him.
>mfw this video
>mfw it's probably the closest thing to recreating the feeling of fighting off this hateful god
Fuck you tigger
I missed like 6 balls and they all flew into bumfuck egypt
I missed 6 again
They all fly a pixel out of bounds and I get fouls
You'll never win at this game...
>I have all the upgrades
>I know how to play the game
>There's no secret technique or shortcut
>Each individual pitch is entirely possible to hit
>The game doesn't randomly throw any surprises at me besides Christopher's next pitch, I know exactly what to expect
>I'm just not good enough
Want to go for another run? I'll be waiting for you all year
>Sent to Purgatory
>Told the only way into Heaven is to beat Christopher Robin
>Keep playing, over and over
>Hours turn into days turn into years turn into decades
>Slowly come to realize you were never in Purgatory
>This is Hell
Ok who is the stand of each enemy in this game?
>Roe and his Mother
The World over Heaven
I beat this piece of shit over two years ago. It was probably the single most satisfying thing I have ever had in a game.
>tfw got 27/28 on Tigger and never played ever again
>know even if I did all that is waiting for me is Robin
I'm going to go hang out with Eeyore.
I am but a mortal man, what hope have I of defeating a god unaided?
what did you think the points were for senpai
What was your first reaction to versing Christopher Robin?
Kids born in 1998 are now old enough to post here
you wouldn't be posting here if you did, liar.
I keep hitting every fucking ball, but they all fly within a pixel of being in and out. My record on tiger is 17
>Fucking cr1tikal made it to Owl without upgrades
>He ended up making it to Cristopher Robin before getting tired
He's not there to torment you.
He's there to protect you.
They really don't do much, I think. The first time I played it I got to Tigger without knowing about them and when I found out I thought I was going to beat the game for sure and I really fucking didn't. Speed is the only one that's easy to notice and even then, just getting half of the levels is more than enough. I never noticed any real difference with the other two.
The rabbit was the only stage I beat on the first try, it gives you the time to position your bat.
I just realized, Toby Fox ripped off Winnie the Pooh when making Undertale's genocide route. Chara is Christopher Robin.
>tfw brave soldier for years
Maybe this time I will meet god.
Have you ever beaten the Japanese version, anon?
>Yes, I have.
Acting like a special snowflake doesn't work here anon, nobody beats CR
>one hit short of beating owl
>one year later
>work my way back up to owl again
>see his smug fucking face
I feel your heartbeats resonating within me /v/
I will win.
It lulls with with Rabbit after Roo, you think it can't get that much worse. Then Owl takes a fat dump on your hopes and gives you a condescending glare when you even think you can approach Christopher.
>tfw found about upgrades from a friend half year after i played it
>Not playing the game with the proper soundtrack
The bumblebee anon.
The bumblebee makes it easier
I want you to go to the link and play up until your hit the owl, or at least the rabbit.
Don't worry, everyone before the owl is pretty piss easy.
Reach the owl, then you'll understand.
>easy as fuck
"YOU'RE IN FOR A WILD RIDE!"
>It's not even hard
>bitches about not winning
I just have shit luck
I'm the kind of guy you laugh at because I die by the tiniest things or killed by something you too know was bullshit
I swear it's pixel fucking perfect on the line that determines whether it's in or out
>stuck on owl for like 7 tries
>find out there are upgrades, I have a shitload of points
>kick owl's candy ass
>I thought I was ready for tigger
>I wasn't fucking ready for tigger
>mfw owls first pitch
I got 11 though so that's something
Tigger is easier than Owl.
Just be the bat dude, dont look at the ball.
Your eyes will only deceive you, be ball, live like a ball, what would a ball do on sundays?
Just gotta focus dude
Once you've done it, then what? Once you're become unreasonable, once you've broken down the walls of reality like your neighbors window, killed a god.
Then what? What drives a man after he'd looked the destroyer in the eyes, seen the fabric of creation within them. The spiraling tendrils of lucid dreams and familiar nightmares twisting around each other forming the holy shape of a diamond, then what?
I've learned things, I've seen my bat bend ways I thought impossible, seen balls fly at me in ways that no mere man could ever throw. I learned a lot about myself. I'm not special. Never was. Simple, mortal man with no real skills or talents, hell I'm trying to find a shitty job just to be a wage slave to see my girl more.
I didn't ask for this.
I've beat Him twice with no upgrades and I can't bring myself to try again.
>nobodys taken this flash game and edited in MGR songs for each battle
If you fell a god, who is to say by our own understanding of the universe you are not the new chosen one? Christopher Robin is a concept, much like we apply John Doe to those we can't identify, we apply Christopher Robin to those we fear.
>tfw i still have the memes saved.
>and the voice recording some brit anon made
If the harbinger of spring is the sound of a bat on a ball, then I have become the harbinger of winter; a barren and desolate spot your bat will never hit.
As my ball hits the padded glove with the disgruntled furl of thirty thousand fans trudging out of the arena, watching as you throw down your bat in disgust and morn what you'll never be, know this: you will never defeat me, Pooh Bear. Not as long as you or I will live. They will never tell stories of your greatness or herald you as the second coming of pitch hitters.
Here you go familia.
I...I think I understand. I will see you all in the outer heaven, I await all you unreasonable men and women in the halls of kings.
Bring your own bat
>mfw trying to beat this again (never got past HIM originally)
>2:31 AM begin trying to beat it with laptop touchpad
>4:49 AM typing my resignation until real mouse acquired (failed on rabbit)
>tfw you get 20 perfect hits in a row on tigger
>things start to look up
>something breaks in you
>whiff every pitch after
...anon said before being possessed by the spirit of the pitch king
I just got to 'him'. This is my first time.
I'm going in. Tell my waifu I love her.
>tfw using cheat engine to slow down the game so I can hit the ball
>tfw back when /v/ first found this game I got to robin without knowing you could upgrade
I think everyone did it at least once when we started playing this shit
what a fuck
Same here dude, except I only made it to Tigger. I had been stuck on Owl for like an hour and I wasn't ready to do it all over again.
Is Owl the casual filter? I can't beat him for the life of me.
>mfw all those fouls and balls that don't go anywhere
>Lose a couple balls to Tigger early on
>Have to wait for like ninety thousand fucking hours to reset because it's literally impossible for you to win at this point
YOU FUCKING DOUBLE TIGGER
This is exactly right. Took me an hour to beat Tigger, but everytime I tried actively focusing on beating him, I hit less and less. Only by existing and doing nothing else did I defeat him. How odd.
I think this might be one of a very few games that anyone who has played it deeply respects anyone who can beat Robin, upgrades or not.
There's plenty of arguing about the rest (personally Owl is my definite stopping point, since I can only passably deal with Rabbit after a lot of practice) but Robin is a fucking monster. It's about as fair as those "win a shitty dusty console nobody will ever win" arcade machines.
IT DOESN'T EVEN LAND IN THE FUCKING WATER IT GOES FUCKING OVER IT WHY DOESN'T IT FUCKING COUNT YOU FAGGOTS
I can't be the only one that thinks Rabbit is easier than Roo, Piglet and Elephant right? The slow start gives you the perfect amount of time to line up for a hit. I got like 3 fouls and 2 with too little power, but i hit literally every ball he throws.
Strip away all delusions of ego & self. Become one with your surroundings.
Your brain plays this game better than you do, the only way to win is not to play. So don't play the game, just play the game.
Kill yourself while you still have time. If you won't and will pass tiger, no one will be able to recognise the body
And remember,you can't quit anymore, our dark lord Christopher Robin has layed his eyes on your soul
>facing against Owl
>18 balls hit, only 1 pitch left
>mfw I hit it
>mfw it barely falls short and I lose
is there ANY strategy for this motherfucker
>Got to Tigger back in the day without upgrades
>Now on 4th attempt on Owl WITH upgrades
I've grown weak.
18 is my best for the fucker too. i think i can sort of predict it by where it is in the zig or zag and swinging just before it swaps to the next zig or zag.
I keep choking on owl! Im like 7 hits to win and fail everything! Needs more upgrades!
>be dumb anon who can't into trying out the three moonrune options the game has
>torture myself without updates as a consequence
>see smarter anons who did try out the fee options and made life easier for them
>try to convince them to also torture themselves to feel better about myself
You might have a point if the game wasn't also stupid hard with upgrades
........... there are upgrades?
>mfw I got to Christopher Robin last time I played
god this is triggering my fucking PTSD
>that fucking feel when
The one last ball of fate that actually goes through.
Tigger is manageable if you keep the sound on. his ball speed doesn't change much, so you can use the audio as a cue for when the ball will be in striking range, like following along with a rhythm. Just get used to the delay between when the ball is launched and when it's hittable, and you'll get it.
I believe in you anon. Fight on until you've made yourself proud.
>The sheer amount you have to hit
No. I have to.
That's pretty good.
Hold onto that feeling
Good fucking god now I remember why I dropped this game
align the front of your bat to the little mound of dirt behind the base, then move along a horizontal plane to hit the balls. At that spot, the ball is at the center point of it's trajectory, so you can draw a straight line through the center of the zig zag in order to anticipate the ball's location
I'm still surprised how much artwork there was for this
I guess it was just a very funny concept
>one of my hits doesn't even cross first plate
What is this sorcery?
So for some reason my bowser seems like is lagging like shit and I can't even hit Eeyore balls properly, is the hit zone really specific?
>hit the ball
>it flies backwards
Im done. Im not gonna spend enough time to beat him.
>Played through this game once, over a weekend about two years ago the first time one of these threads caught me
>Go as far as beating Tigger
>Make exactly one attempt at Robin
>The sheer violence of the brutal rape I receive brings all the exhaustion from all the previous hours of rage crashing down on me all at once
>Close the browser
>Lay down and think about life
>Eventually wake up from a deep sleep, feeling like a whole new man
Never played again. I am free.
In baseball, if the ball crosses to the left or to the right of the respective diagonal lines from home base, it's considered a fowl. Additionally, this game is a home run derby so the ball must go out of the park for it to count.
check out this handy diagram, green is where it counts, red doesn't
Which means everyone after him are in PU alignment
It's Pooh that's in the wrong universe
the initial misspelling made me mess up mine, lel
That much I get but I can seem to figure the timing and position to put it into the green. Feels like it's random. Also is the horizontal movement supposed to be as slow as it is?
1 Am here. Don't want to quit out so soon though.
I took a break after
trying for the first time since giving up on piglet ages ago, took maybe an hour to reach owl and try him 5 times. After coming back to it I can't be fucked finishing it off, but good luck to the rest of you
Now you see, I got to owl straight away with no issues and losses, and then I lost to him by a couple runs
Now I could beat him and go to Tigger. Two years ago I couldn't stop myself and would think it only natural.
But I know better. I know that if I get to Tigger then Christopher Robin is after him. I know that Tigger will spike my curiosity and beating him starts a path I don't want to go on.
I am older and wiser now.
>first 5 levels
>easy, beat them first try
>begin to rage, but win after like 10 tries
I'm tired, I don't feel like dealing with this RNG bullshit right now.
Sometimes it's a foul ball, sometimes it feels like Pooh accidentally brought a wet noodle to hit the ball with instead of a bat, and sometimes I just straight up miss.
I think I'm done for tonight
I might also crack and just buy a bunch of upgrades, been trying to do it without them