Meanwhile, in the /v/ Umbrella facility...

Wow! looks like we are going for a stock market crash and all our remaining fans are weird little cunts that only play for our shitty women

>>324317546
The a-Virus will make anime real. The odds of mishaps are only 5%.

>>324317764
take it back

>>324317546

I have concerns about working in the same lab that houses these "specimens" that look like that can slice my head off.

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>>324317546
There will never be another great re game ever again.

>>324320089
They're in tubes you fucking pussy. Grow a pair.

No. Fuck off.

in the /v/ Umbrella facility we are gonna develop a new virus! called the /s4s/ influenze, will make the humans stupid.
and other bio-wepons is the tumbler virus, more dangerous that the /s4s/ virus.
will make the people have, instead of brain, apiece of shit

I have an extra eyeball growing on my abdomen that's normal right

shut up johnson! if it doesn't make my waifu real, I don't want you using my fucking facilities to engineer it!

Itchy...tasty...

Guys, who the fuck took the spade key from the key locker? Now I'm going to go all the way around the mansion just to get to the greenhouse. Thanks a lot, asshole!

So who do they hire to make these really elaborate traps?

>>324317546

Accountant here

The budget in accordance to the various donations and urban development projects in Racoon city seems unorthodox to say the least. Do the city really need a sundial puzzle to open a gate? There another series of schematics that have the police station have a weight pressure system to gain access to certain areas of the building. Why the fuck are the big heads approving this waste of money?

I think I am becoming a zombie lol

>>324321434
Oh fug :DDDD

20/6/1998 - 22:33:14 research_dude wrote: feel kind of itchy

Chris and Jill are gonna come and fuck everything up to kingdom come. I just know it

fuck, I left one of the keys back at my house

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>I can't see in this damn gas mask
>These clothes are itchy
>Why do my gloves have holes through the fingers?
>My trigger finger is cramped
>Hunk is a dick
>Why do we have MP5s? I wanted a P90
>Why do we have to do all this for one scientist?
>I wish I was back home playing video games

I hope Wesker senpai notices me.

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>>324323495

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>>324323671

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>>324323797

GUYS COME THE FUCK ON
STOP MESSING WITH THE T-ABYSS SPECIMENS
FUCK
AT LEAST LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR

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>>324317546
saw this thing running around the 1st floor.

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>>324323881

>>324324014
I knew it was a mistake hiring Japs.

Bring it to my room.

>>324324014
It was probably just a squirrel.

>>324320454
Top it off with chronic Reddit syndrome, which causes a horrible rash to form and tons of pneumoniae when they do not receive praise for saying and doing as they're told.

>>324323889
>AT LEAST LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR

I'm sorry but I don't feel like carrying around a 10 pound stone octagon.

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>>324324147
What ever WAS the context of this panel?

Hey i found this in the boss's desk...

Gentlemen zombies and weird monsters are a thing of the past. I present the L-Virus and the R-Virius.
The L-Virius turns everyone infected into a little girl while the R-Virius is based on a hentai I seen it turns everyone infected into rapists.
Round the clock orgies of lolis will be litter the streets, if they see an uninfected they will charge you asking for head pats and kisses, then they will have their way with you and shall become one of them.

>>324324360
I would like to remind everyone that she was 18 in this picture and I was just holding it for a friend anyways.

>>324324360
Holy shit that's the TerraSave inspector from last month!

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>>324320089
>We dreamed of creating the perfect shitposter
>And we succeed

>>324320460
Eh. Probably a dermoid cyst.

Shit guys, we're running out of things to show to the higher ups! Mix some shit with the T-virus, that'll give us another month.

Stop leaving your goddamn weapons next to objects clearly labeled as explosive.

WHO PUT THE FUCKING GIANT SHARK IN THE SWIMMING POOL!?

>>324325068
Shut up, you're not my mom.

Look, all I'm saying is, maybe we DON'T need a self-destruct system in every facility we have.

Maybe just leave it out of one. See what happens.

Hello guys, I decided to try this new experiment with elephants, hippos and crocodiles - injecting each specimen with G-Virus, will report about the results later on.

>>324325302
While we at it, who the fuck put this blue plant in the toilet?

Weird. I was playing with my pet baby shark in the bathtub and it's strangely disappeared. Have any of you assholes ran off with it?

Who the fuck keeps placing all these Herbs everywhere?

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>>324325508
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>324325359
if you blow another hole in a lab I'm just sealing it off with you in it

>>324325728
Best level.

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>>324324515
We just received cam footage.
Shit's not working, yo.

RE: New Password

Hey guys the new password is the name of my GIRLFRIEND. And YES I do have one now, she's really cute.

-John

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>>324325539
>>324325625

How about I pay you two to shut your mouths? I'm making a killing selling these herbs to the overworked staff and I'm not stopping now.

>>324325967
RE: RE: New Password

So the new password is "Lefty"?

-John's mom

Okay who the hell hid my keys.

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Guys, you gotta try this drink called the T-virus.
It makes me feel things

Aw shit, I gotta use the bathroom.

Someone watch my station, I gotta go find three medals, insert them into the statue by the company fountain, and solve a math problem to get the bathroom key.

>>324326541
I can't I have to find my keys to get into my station to get into your station

>>324325948
>tfw the cool guy died & that one faggot got to live

The President Lady was sexy as fuck tho

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>RE creatures are supposed to be unstoppable killing machines
>Routinely die against normal humans with conventional firearms

>>324326541
Just get out and do it in the forest, might get maimed but it sure is faster than doing all that shits.

>>324326738
They haven't been perfected yet.

>>324326541
Dude there's like a gazillion plant pots around here.

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Why did the room's walls try to crush me?
I was almost an anon sandwich

>>324325948
Who the fuck mixed Las Plagas into my L-Virius. I bet it was cindie, shes so such an old cunt.

When's bring you daughter to work day again?

Shit, I'm hungry. Anyone venturing to the kitchen anytime soon?

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>>324326738
>>Routinely die against normal humans with conventional firearms
>>die against normal humans
>>normal humans

>>324326738
It's not so much as a creature I think, but more of the non stop spreading infection itself. Though, I wonder if anyone attended a cooperate meeting at Umbrella and brought the fact that big bombs exist. Less cleanup needed after using it too.

Hey guys I got this pet tarantula and he loves ice cubes, I was feeding him some ice but I discovered it was one of the virus we had frozen.
Now hes gone, he lives ice cubes maybe check the fridge?

>>324327009
Sorry, after Steve lost his legs for a midnight snacks I just don't want to go there anymore.

>>324327110
Why bomb them if they can bomb themselves?

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>>324326738
>>324327015

>>324325948

how many mouths are inside of that mouth?

>>324321296
Chief Irons has requested those personally. You're out of line with your questions.

>>324323881
Seven minutes

Guys here is a sugestion, let's let some inner city youths intern here?

>>324327692
Good idea, they're more disposable.

>>324327015
>>324327225
There's all the Outbreak survivors, almost none of which have any training or experience with firearms, yet they're still able to kill Tyrants. There's also the fact that a Tyrant can die just by getting hit with one measly rocket or a handful of magnum bullets, when, if they were as threatening as the games hype them up to be, they should be taking missiles to the face and surviving without a scratch, or jumping 200 feet into the air and slashing a helicopter out of the sky, or running faster than cars.

Could the guy who keeps putting his virus samples in the breakroom fridge please stop doing that? Haven't you learned anything from when Ted mistook one as tabasco sauce a while ago?

Getting real sick and tired of having to drain this ornate fucking fountain every morning to get down to my work station.

Who has the wolf medal today, is it Pat? It's Pat isn't it? Bastard is always late to work.

Great.

So uh, remind me how making unstoppable, uncontrollable killing machines we have no way of stopping if they break out of containment that also spread extremely quickly and efficiently is a good way to advance humanity? I signed up to cure diseases, and technically we've cured all diseases with this stuff but like, well I'M sure not gonna pop a pill of this stuff when I get the sniffles.

>>324327793
But they may use up all of our green herbs irresponsibly

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>>324327904
>Ted mistook one as tabasco sauce a while ago?
Poor Ted, he made the best spicy tacos.
Good thing there one left in the fridge, but it taste kinda funny.

Feel...itchy...tasty

I secretly leaked the T-virius into Detroit. Its been four years and nobody has noticed.

>>324328509
We kill the shitty parts of humanity.

>>324328654
#Zombielivesmatter

>>324328654
I'm surprised that it was only 4 years ago honestly.

>>324328509
>not wanting to be a GOD

>>324328535
We could use the opportunity to test out stronger GM herbs. If they overdose... well its a good thing we don't pay them shit anyhow,

>>324328803
>>324328837
There was some reports on an increase of cannibalism but thats it.
I went and had a look earlier, seems the uninfected natives of Detroit has not noticed either.

>>324317546
Welp just saw to big ass mutant moth flew outside of my office time to find a new a job

So i have this cousin who works sewer maintenance in the city and he said he spotted, of all things, an alligator. I wonder how it can survive this far north, the winters should have killed it long ago.

>>324329725
I heard WillPharma is hiring.

>>324329725
It was probably just a pidgin.

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>>324318095

>>324329839
Oh that must be my pet alligator. I saw her eating an odd looking rat and it wasn't long until she went missing. I heard weird things coming from the toilet so I decided to flush it, must have gotten there that way. Thanks for telling, I'll go and pick her up.

>>324330134

BURN IT AND THE RESEARCH!

THIS SHOULDN'T SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY.

>>324325728
Who let DUMBO out?

7 MINUTES. 7 MINUTES IS ALL I CAN SPARE TO PLAY WITH YOU.

>dear diary
>there is literally only 1 bathroom in my workplace. its in an adjacent mansion.
>its also unisex
>every time I have to take a dump I have to get 3 fucking keys to walk what should be 30 meters to a bathroom
>I've begun planning my bathroom breaks 3 hours in advance
>one time I couldn't find the key so I had to find four creepy fucking death masks
I swear to god I'm going to start pooping in the test chambers. What could go wrong?

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What are we gonna do with all these frogs?

>>324326738
>RE creatures are supposed to be unstoppable killing machines
I thought they where a cheap mass-produced bio-weapon that creates more as it advances in enemy territory?

An unsupervised outbreak can also be used to make the enemy waste resources in other fields.

The Tyrants are meant to be 'unstoppable killing machines'

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Guys, Ted from the third floor said he finished a serum that makes eyes grow on his balls, he invited me to check it out but I don't wanna go there by myself to check someone's balls, even for science.

>>324330847
Make a videogame based on their actions that will become a phone prank to crappy video game stores

RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE DUDE GREEN HERBS LMAO xD!

Look, I know one of you lab geeks has been growing 'green herbs' in the guard house basement, and I was going to let it slide, until today that it. You see one of your 'dank kush' plants got the bright idea to bust up our shitter. Green rape tentacles sprouting right up through the toilet here. Thank god some poor sap didn't get that up his pooper in the middle of the night.

Fix it, NOW, or so help me whoever is resposible is getting locked up with 3 MO disks until hell freezes over.

-Alex 'Big Boss' Brown, chief of security

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>>324326738
For all intents and purposes, pic related was virtually indestructible. No military carries liquid nitrogen on hand and meme weapons aside (Infinite Rocket Launcher, Typewriter, etc.) it would take a tank shell or mortar round to even stun this sunnuvabitch.

>>324320340
we still have the hd remakes theyre coming out with anon, not much but its something

>>324328509
Shut up, we need something to justify the millions of dollar in budget. I am not going back to watching boring test tubes. Seeing shit mutate is pretty entertaining.

>>324331358
Hate to be the one to tell you chief but that guy left two weeks ago.

Said he was going to be the president of Canada or some shit.

>>324331474
>implying I can't take it with my damn bear hands

>>324331474
Isn't this the /v/ umbrella facility? That's a Los Iluminados BOW

Does that mean that some country hicks > worlds largest pharmaceutical company?

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>hey stan
>these subjects we have are almost residents here in this facility right?
>and we're doing very evil stuff in here

>>324317546
What the fuck are we even doing with our lives?

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>>324331641
Chris what are you doing here? You are not an Umbrella employee! There are no rocks to punch or sisters to save! Now begone before we test our latest BOWs on you!

>>324331474
CÁLLATE, NO EXPONGAS NUESTROS SECRETOS.

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>>324331829
SCIENCE

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>Umbrella scientists
>Space Pirates

Who would win in a contest of incompetence?

>>324331921
MANUEL GET BACK TO GARDENING!

What about a chimera with the face of Rebecca, the lips of Rachel, the voice and attitude of Claire, the brown of Sheva, the ass of Jill, the hymen regeneration of Sherry, and the tits of Estella.

The ultimate bioweapon

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>>324331818
>Yeah Dan
>You could even say that it would be a biological hazard if these things were to break out

>>324331829
Creating what not even God dared make

>>324320340
Resident Evil REmake HD had great sales. RE Zero HD comes out on Tuesday and we have REmake 2 in development. Capcom understands there is an audience for classic RE. This is long term testing the waters to see if they should make a brand new classic Resident Evil, just like DMC4SE was gauging interest in a true DMC5.

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>>324331736
>implying we didn't steal the Plagas research for our own advances

>>324331909
Whose great idea was to inject Senator Armstrong with G-Virus? Not like he was already too strong or anything

>>324331474
Oh hey its a xenomorph

>>324332149
>neo-umbrella is umbrella meme
lol

>>324332058
As long you can make sure the body parts are gonna be at their intended places.

>>324317546
Oh boy, this is going to be good. I can't wait to see the fuck ups. I'm already laughing
>You're a monster, trying to create monsters!
>Well you're a faggot

>>324332149
WHO IS MR. DEATH AND WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK all the time?

>>324332057
JODETE CABRON

Why do the rookie cops in this city have such luscious hair? And how do i get in on it?

>>324332386
YOU'LL GO IN WITH THE DOBERMANS AGAIN!

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>>324332149
S-senpai please notice me

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Oh fuck I forgot my password. Now I gotta complete a bunch of fucking puzzles around the office to reset it.

>>324332474
You must first not be small time

>>324330903
Nah Tyrants while cool as fuck, arent killing machines, IIRC yoi find some file about the tyrant killing an entire platoon and destroying a tank, but it was all simulation, they needed field data hence RE1, but then Wesker invention got blown the fuck out, literally

>>324332641
I imagine Vector to be the Kylo Ren for HUNK

>>324332647
User: John
Code: Madden
Key:aeiou

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>>324331829

Donating it to experimentation if you keep that attitude up

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>>324332848

>>324332101
I hope so, anon. But part of me just can't trust Capcom anymore.

>>324325948
I really shouldn't watch shit like this before bed.

>>324317546
Where can I make a complaint? Why does only only our boss get super powers that don't make him crazy? Why can't we get super speed and strength?

I caught Chief Irons masturbating in front of our labs again. Umbrella needs a more stable puppet.

>>324335059
We have been over this already. We can't make a dick bigger without turning it into a flesh eating parasite.

>>324335634
Who's flesh, mine or someone else's? Cause i'll take a tentacle dick if it ain't eating me alive.

>>324325728
Kill it with liberal shotgun rounds men!

>>324334990
What are you? Pussy? It's not that scary, I tottally would fuck that girl

pls send help

>>324324014
Try squatting over it.
only if you're a girl it tried to bite my dick off

>>324327152
You check it yourself, it's your pet afterall

>>324326261
RE: RE: RE: New Password

Lol

-Steve

>>324317546
I want to lodge a formal complaint against hunk.

He is really hard to work with. He hardly talks and does NOT clean up after himself, out in the field AND in the cafeteria.

>>324335790
You got my support, we should spread flyers and gather signs for petition

>>324334990
It's not like something will slip into your mouth and reflex swallow it in your sleep

Should I aroused at the sight of an infected female.

Anybody know where I can find a picture of that Chambers girl from the police department? Don't ask why.

>>324341641
Here >>324324360

>>324317546

Uh guys, I thought we were designing new machinery to manufacture umbrellas? What's with all this virus talk?

>>324341734
Brilliant, thanks.

>>324325948
>why he didn't become uber strong after taking the mouthdick