Oh shit nigger, you're a mutant eagle-man boxer that's also a cyborg.
You're fighting your second oponent of the season: Cyber Carl
What do you do?
YOu whip out your unenhanced smaller than average bird dick and ate it.
Cyber Carl is properly intimidated
Sadly you have no lips so you just kinda flapped your beak weirdly
You started to do your best magic mike impression.
But since you're terrible at it you looked like a retarded chicken spazzing out.
Cyber Carl is even more confused
"Yeah!" said Regular Carl
Cyber Carl is contemplating strategies
Swing and a miss
We're a boxer in a boxing league
"Joke's on you, we made copies, loads and loads of copies"
>implying you can find them
>implying Im going to tell you
Unbeknownst to you, he's actually a robot shaped like a skeleton, the new rule doesn't affect him.
[Evil robotic rattling]
KO, Cyborg Carl is down for the counts and all other counts this match is over folks, this fight has been brought to you by APEX. APEX when your prostate gets cancer, get an Apex prostate to replace it. THAT'S APEX!
Oh no! One of the audience member: Everyone McEverybody has been murdered!
[sad mournful SCREEEEEEEEEEEE as the national anthem plays solemnly in the background]
You're declared the winner so you can leave and they can clean up the place.
You'll have to give the mafia a part of it later though, it's part of your deal.
Any highest in a minute
"Good. You haven't been approached by any vampires have you?"
"Oh they're not looking to drain you. They have their own boxer so they may want to sabotage you"
"Ha! Our boxer is more than enough to beat your shitty oversized chicken without any unfair advantages!"
"lmao, he doesn't have a plane shaped like himself"
The vampire plane shielded the vampire from the sun
nigga that would be a step down in my book
"Rainbow Boxer, what do you say to the rumors that you're a faggot?"
[Angry rainbow noises]
Pic related, it's you.
Rainbow Man was then suspended for his terrible pun.
A fitting PUNishment.
The mobster is creepily laughing to himself
"Don't make em come over there and punch you apart"
"Zat was a fluke! You wanna go again mother fucker?"
And the referee is some random robot that's also wearing a bird
Become spontaneously self-aware. You're nothing more than a drawing being controlled by the whims of about 5 people all fighting for control. Break free, Timothy! You can do it!
"Ah! Very good. Now you should go train for your next fight"
"Aww man, it's almost dinner time" said short skeleton lich boss
NOw, what to buy...
Note that you can only get 1 with your current cash
"Sorry, but that's part of the "Ultimate Enhancement" DLC"
"They're criminals, breaking the law is what they do"
"No, he is merely...subdued. Move along, nothing to see here"
Ah yes, the top of the rookie division. You can't fight him until you've beaten the other guys
>nobody got it
why do I remember all these Friends references anyway.
"YOu basssstard! Trying to ssssslander my good name!"
"I'll get you nexxt time, Sssteve!"
"OW! WHAT DID I DO?!" Asked Steve.
Meanwhile, Sssteve is getting ready for the match
TL note: SCREEEEEEEEEEEE means " I'm sorry Steve"