To make this more interesting don't name the game so others can guess what it is.
A dumbass kid goes on a long winded adventure to search for his two of his friends, completely forgetting all concern for the safety and well-being of his parents and other minor friends.
There is bunch of meme mary sue characters and they kill each other for close to no reason. You play as some bland, self insert and officially, you have to solve who killed who by fascinating gameplay composing of point and click on everything until the game tells you you have what you need, but unofficially it's another weeb waifu simulator in which each bitch you talk to 6 times craves your dick. Also, it tries to be super edgy tryhard with its themes, not to mention the main plot point makes LITERALLY no sense. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
So, you are this autistic waifubait lesbian and you collect flowers to save your sister. You are accompanied by bunch of equally shitty, one-dimensional characters, just so fat otakus would buy this shit. The game relies heavily on its crafting system as its selling point. but since EVERYTHING takes time away from the game, have fun exploring 5% of all craftable objects and using the same shit over and over, because you don't have time to do anything else than complete the main quest. Also, as far as the 'story' goes, you walk from location to location, collect flowers and constantly fight recollors of LITERALLY 5 (I shit you not) enemies over and over again.
The most angst ridden, stereotypical Japanese antihero you could imagine goes on a quest to avenge the leader of his church and save his adoptive sister. There's lots of bad music and area design, cutscenes are so stupid it's nearly unwatchable, and when you finally finish that guy's story you take on the role of one of the antagonists and play the fucking game backwards. You transfer all your points to the new character so you basically have a mostly upgraded character you've never used before to grapple with. A handful of enemies have no discernable weak points (without what most would assume are exploits) and the exploration and puzzle aspects are pitiful.
Before we start, keep in mind this is the year 2015+1. And so, lo and behold a game. About 2-dimensional knights with no personality of differences other than their color. Who fight each other in a bunch of minigames. Let me add than other than directional buttons you have 1 (ONE) other button - the attack button. That's literally it. Sounds like a Newgrounds game from 2004? well, too bad, since this game came out in 2015 and costs 20 euro. You would have to be complete retard to buy it.
I don't think anyone will get it, so it's Knight Squad. God, I love this game
A cookie cutter JRPG protag finds a sword, and learns that the power of friendship triumphs over everything.
are you feeling it?
The zombie apocalypse has struck about 1% of the earth and the rest of humanity is perfectly fine, but people wander inside anyway just so they can shoot each other with guns that have an accurate range of ten feet.
Go to high school to learn how to fight in war!
Our team medic has a crippling fear of blood so I shot myself and told her to save me so she could get over it
Super casual mode:
The same woman is also color blind. We allowed her to attempt disarming a bomb that involves cutting specifically colored wires.
Your friends with teens who either hate each other or don't,they barely have any personality most of the time they're just bland as hell.You also spend the entire game in fucking dungeons
Fuck, I forget the subtext of this damn thread. I didn't think I would enjoy Ultra Despair as much as I did, but it was entertaining after you got skills to adjust the cursor movement.
I think the strangest thing about the game is that it actually made me like toko as a character, I fucking hated her in the first game, but after she verbally berated haji and komaru for being cowardly I was like "huh, this chicks tolerable now".
Full disclosure I'm glad
the kids all livedthey'd been through enough shit already.
The game is just basically a dumb down censored version of a more popular game from the same company.You play as a loli with a god complex who goes to different worlds just fuck em up because she thinks they're pretty.
Also the light novel spinoffs are enjoyable as well
DR0 is entertaining for it's background on how it all happened
DR IF should be made into an OVA
and Ultra Despair Hagakure is entertaining for yashuhiro's retarded ways to get money to pay off his debt to a yakusa group that has more than likely been eliminated thanks to the apocalypse
Only one I haven't read is Kyoko's backstory
>I think the strangest thing about the game is that it actually made me like toko as a character, I fucking hated her in the first game
I'm also glad pretty much everyone but
Hina's brother lived. Despair and all is cool, but when you kill most of your interesting cast, including main villain, in the first game and then you have to try your hardest to untangle that, this is true shooting yourself in the knee
You just keep beating the shit out of asian soldiers.
There's supposedly some plot or story to it but everyone skips the cutscenes and massacres more gooks.
MY AMBITION CANNOT BE STOPPED
Don't forget about
chihiro's fathertalk about cruel irony with that one. I agree though that I feel the author feels bad for killing so many characters and now he's trying to make amends by killing as few as possible. Especially given how DR2 played out and the fact that he didn't want to do another killing game for the danganronpa 3 anime, because it would be "too painful"
The UI is so unbelievably shitty and obtuse that Dwarf Fortress seem a casualized game with huge "DO THIS THING" flashing on the screen
To compound the problem you have to do a fuckton and a half of shit just to get the most bare-bones of stuff built.
You have to transport stuff from one place to the next but there is little to no automation so you have to set orders every time something changes.
It's also made in a ancient programming language that run like shit on modern hardware.
You play either as generic soldier #42435, flying chick with more skin exposed than a brazilian porn star, a guy that is literally useless and needs someone else to let him attack at all and a slow armored fuck that takes forever and a half to run 100m and get killed in seconds despite being "the heavy armor guy"
The enemies animations are janky as fuck, a 3 years with a 2002 era animation program butt stomping the keyboard would do better.
The gameplay is like Dinasty Warrior, tons of enemies that die in droves, grind for weapon, repeat at higher difficulty (that just means inflated HP and damage)
The plot kinda turned to shit with DR2 desu , would have been better if they were still the remnants of despair but had their memories wiped with their permission to stage another killing game to create more despair.
I didn't like the whole rehabilitation angle.
Ending the game with them becoming the new baddies of DR3 would have worked way better
A college student fucks around and does indescribable damage to the fabric of time and history, unintentionally forcing him to betray and break the hearts of each of his friends
You command a handful of characters in a war and everyone is shit for a long time.
Also there's the RNG that seems to be on the enemy side.
>70 hit chance
>enemy has 30 hit chance
And it's a permadeath game
You have to move to a new city and get a shitty job. One of your best friends wont let you join him unless you prove yourself to his entire faction. Then you need to complete the most generic fantasy plot ever. There may or may not be some gay ass pirates.
The game is inspired by one of the most overrated franchises ever.
To begin, the graphics are really hit or miss. The combat is fucking shit and piss easy, and here is no depth in it
The special mechanic of the game ruins it's pace and is one of the dumbest ideas ever created.
The songs are not bad, but get ready to listen to them over and over during the 30 hours this piece of shit lasts (by the way, the all last around a minute, then they loop)
The dungeons are short as fuck
Retarded sidequests like finding dogs are everywhere
To make it even better, you have to carry with you an annoying faggot during the game
Oh, and I hope you like fighting the same boss 3 different times
So when the game is over they realize they are the remnants of despair and just pick up where they left off? I don't think that would have worked, that doesn't spread despair as well as
junko hijacking their bodiesalso that creates fewer soldiers for despair. But, if it's any consolation, Komaeda is still fucked in the head, memories or not.
This all still works, the next game takes on a new cast and a new environment, (though I know they're gonna tie it into DR 1 and 2 somehow). Being that the creator is friends with the creator of zero escape and he wanted to set the game in the future to possible toy with time travel, I wouldn't be surprised if it ends with the remaining students going back to prevent the tragedy.
Then I have no damn clue how the anime is gonna play out, the only villain is monaka and the only plot point to play off is makoto getting shit on for harboring fugitives.
You are a space grill that shoots stuff in a terribly designed Maze of backtracks and shit with power ups hidden in shitty places invisible to the eye and doesn't explicitly tells the mechanics of the game
Some autistic britbongs go on an oh-so-original quest for revenge, with the stereotypical bland blond protagonist, the silly but reliable friend, the fanservice titty monster, the generic badass, generic cute mascot thing, generic half-blood and literally a rip off of a previous concept from the same damn series. Join this ragtag crew as they cant remember what peoples voices sound like, find a magical macguffin sword, and ultimately, you guessed it, kill a god. This is a weeaboo game after all.
very lackluster story about your son being the villain who you either kill or bomb boston
really fucking monotonous
You play arguably the worst character of all time, and the controls are awful,. The story doesn't make any sense at all. The framerate can't keep steady for twenty seconds, and things only begin to make sense on subsequent playthroughs, which no one should enjoy doing since the aforementioned shiftiness of the entire product
As a hint, the game isn't old, so the controls aren't bad because of it being an on old thing.
you pick one of 6 races which are all pretty much copies of each other, just different textures slapped on each other and then you do big battles and build shit while listening to the units moanings on repeat everytime you click them
You can't secure a decent salary, you're despised by all people who are better of than you, and you try to udergo as little human interaction as possible, maybe because everyone you meet keeps swearing at you.
but anon, isnt the game shitty as it is?
jk, enjoying the game right at this moment
You become friend with a overgrown lizard and go on a murderous rampage against NotSpain in a setting that hates any and all nice things and it's generally a horrible place to live.
The last mission is a QTE/Rythm game and a big FUCK YOU to the player
Kid gets a key to fight darkness. He constantly bitches about friendship. His friend is an emo stereotype. His love interest hardly gets any time with him yet we're somehow supposed think they're a couple. Oh and they all have keys now. The main villain looks like my psychologist. The story is convoluted and borders nonsense. He fights a boat, though.
>It has a pretentious story and SJW agenda
>One of the main characters is an edgelord
>Forced lesbian romance
>Terrible fanbase that makes 2deep4u theories about a missing character
You should be able to solve this.
It's a game about walking at a pace of a fucking snail back and forth through a maze-like city EXCLUSIVELY PAINTED in shades of lovely brown and grey, and trying to not die of the sniffles in the process.
That is virtually all you do. Walk. Then talk to some asshole for a few minutes, then walk back. If you try to get smart and take a shortcut: a magical two feet fence or a pipe stands in your way. Enjoy your walking back, asshole.
Oh yeah, and did I mention the WHOLE game is on a timer? Yeah, the whole game is on a timer. They time your slow-ass crawl and lack of a sprint button. Take too long in your walks, and you failed the quest.
And to make things even funnier: some of the quests can't be finished, no matter what you do, because the game is a dick. In fact, most quests actually don't reward you for completing them. So enjoy spending your precious resources and time (remember, the game is timed, so you just wasted time you could have been spending on making sure you won't die in your sleep today) on a quest that gets you "thanks, I guess" and a pat on your back.
Oh yeah, and there are three playable characters, but they all play through the same timeline. Yet each character witholds some of the key parts of the story from you. You have to finish the game three times to actually even get what the fucking story is about.
It also looks like ass, even for over a decade old game. And don't even get me started on how broken the combat and stealth is.
So yeah. My favorite game of all time. Go figure.
Pic unreleated, by the way. It's not Cradle.
You need to fulfill your friends dying wish. Things quickly spiral out of control and you must go on a quest involving the rival dragon, secret society mobsters, feral tigers, and grown men in diapers
Yeah. I did not expect it to be hard for anyone who had played the game.
You are a zombie trying to kill a god because he fuck up your girlfriend and friends
A Mary Sue furry explores a cartoonish version of ancient grorious nippon, accompanied by an extremely annoying flea companion, and uses a paintbrush as a weapon against enemies such as a stomach virus and a fetus. Has actual piss and shit mechanics.
A bitch you're fucking get's murdered and the local law enforcement blames you with little to no evidence.
So you spend the entire game either brutally murdering others or being a fucking saint. whatever floats your boat.
Teenagers learns to use the power of friendship to beat the grim reaper and bring themselves back to life. Wearing the right trendy clothes and badges makes friendship do more damage (clothes come in such recognisable favourite brands as "generic gothic", "generic hip-hop looking baggy stuff" and "generic emo-y looking stuff".
Roy Mustang and Cole Train go to Japan and save the world from waifu bots.
You try to raise a nation and become king through endless military conquest al overl the land. you'll fail miserably multiple times and rather than die you will lose everything you've worked hard to build up.
Play as a demon kid with daddy issues and a beta bitch made faggot,the gameplay is a cluster fuck filled with shit loads of mechanics and statues effect that the game doesn't even fucking explain how they work
story is full of edgy characters
story is linear
graphics are outdated
some of the cutscenes are using the shit ingame engine
despite the prerendered cutscenes are good there are only a few of them
there are 2 types of missions:
build your base then kill the opposing one
or try to rambo with 6 units
too much micro
chris metzen is half of the voice cast
music is okay i guess
the game is so bad that they made an mmo and a moba out if it instead the 4. one
you play as an orphan who saves his summer camp in this clunky collect-a-thon platformer, and the terrible last level is the cherry on top.
the whole game was made by the biggest fuckwad meme dev of all time
A squat-walking simulator where you have to avoid black dildoheads and feelguys for the entirety of the game, squatwalking from point a to point b as main objectives.
Joust in a place where it makes zero sense and attempt to kill your ptsd suffering friend.
Get called a demon for how many people you kill, regardless of how hard you try to be a good person
The goal is to get to the ultimate place to do the thing.
Before you do that, you must first complete several mini goals. That is, you must travel to a bunch of places and do the same thing you want to do at the ultimate place, only on a smaller scale.
In between going to these places you have to do the thing on an even smaller scale.
Between those things, you might sometimes randomly have to do the thing. But you can usually avoid doing the thing in that case, if you want to.
The game literally never changes, but you will keep buying it, and keep playing it, in order to do the thing.
You start the game and you're dropped in a shitty cave, almost naked, and every single monster can kick your ass. Then you get out and you're in an open world filled with literally nothing. You can wonder for literally several real world days and find fuck all, so you're forced to rely entirely on the fast travel system.
Your main objective is barely detailed and you have to hunt down the people who can tell you more. All the NPCs look the same.
A guy in an edgy costume jumps around with some bullshit powers trying to save some annoying fucking ungrateful girl because her mom got killed by some weird alien looking guys.
>game forces you to use a new mechanic that's way more complicated to be even close to reasonably powerful, and even then you need hours of trial and error to figure out what's viable
>main character is a fat piece of shit who's motivated only by food and stupid moralfag stuff
>fucking collect-a-thon for 100%
>can't get to the real final boss without collecting all the macguffins, some of which are in bullshit places you need a guide to figure out
>true final boss changes the gameplay completely, have to learn a whole new fucking game and his gimmick revolves around maneuvering slowly and clumsily through 3D space
Butt-ugly guy assembles a group of butthurts - among them a super wacky mascot-pet, some bitch with daddy issues, a whore, and a lolrandumb robot - to find out what happened on his last bender. It turns out he really hates himself, but that's solved with a brief heart to heart.
A no-name employee gets a shitty job down with the untermensch while the bosses call her a tosser behind her back and a creep tries to date-rape her.
In the end by the power of deus ex machinas and lots of visits to gamefaqs she gets a promotion.
A very two dimensional experience with tons of back tracking. Also very easy.
Know how you hate it when games throw in a time limit just to fucking stress you out or make a boring section seem more intense? Well, the entire goddamn game is on a fucking timer! Graphically, it's also easily one of the laziest ever - the majority of assets are just blatantly ripped from another game. Also, the simple act of saving the game is a confusing, shitty mess.
Oh, and of course there's a shitton of glitches and it's super easy to make the game crash.
Fuck this game. 0/10, would never play again.
At the end of the game you have to escort a hungry as fuck asshole through the jungle and she's really slow and it's probably the worst part of the series.
>the monado has its own seat
Hobo collects rocks and turns into a slug after performing pest control.
His friend is a cripple who speaks like a chav and his love interest is..
Fuck I can't find anything bad to say about her.
you got it hoss.
Let me try another.
There's some levels where you have to navigate a narrow-as-fuck bridge system while babies cry and it happens like, four times throughout the game. Each time it gets progressively worse, even though they're short.
My nigga you've got A+ taste.
its about a war that teaches the way less interesting female protagonist about how genocide is bad when done on to you but then in an ironic twist makes her cause genocide on another country. the interesting characters have 0 development after their introduction except for the antagonist who gets a prequel game where you learn to feel for them before their lives turn to utter shit and thats even before you realize in the next game they all fucking die. the female protagonist also uses a big fucking sword like cloud even though she is literally 1/3rd of his size.
Antagonist kills you, then you kill antagonist, who you find out was sent by God, then you kill God, then you become God, then you kill yourself.
As much as I love all three Max Payne games, those levels are terrible.
Before nearly every boss fight, a stupid fuckboy friend (who's different every time) you're trying to help says the exact same shit every time that forces the boss to turn evil. All of this could have been avoided if the person you're helping had a brain or one of your party members just told them to shut the fuck up.
eva escort wasn't even that bad
wasn't shit compared to the emma escort
>SWIMMING ESCORT MISSION WITH A CHILD
You play a really rich furry who likes to jump off buildings and punch crazy people in the face. He gets locked in a prison and has to punch his way out. Game has the shittiest combat of all time.
Some country asshole, a socially awkward girl, a womanizer, and a bitch who probably has multiple sticks up her ass go on a journey to stare at glowing rocks until they work just because some fairy bitch tells them to.
The first time I saw Chie doing it I really hoped it wouldn't be the same for every boss.
Some godlike asshole kills a clown this causes him to become hitler so a furry must build a portal to another universe so a bunch of people in stupid costumes can come beat the shit out of superhitler.
-Every level has a totally arbitrary objective that prevents you from finishing even if you're just barely missing it
-You never have resources to do anything the easy way, and even if you would, you wouldn't be allowed to
-Default control bindings are batshit insane and would make the game unplayable without adjustments
-2 enemies are literally invulnerable and can only be stunned with consumable rare items
-Final level is a shopping list of fetch quests in a place filled with near-invulnerable enemies with heavy weapons
You play as a kid with no real powers on a japanese only game where even if you dont want to do something you have to do it anyways cuz fuck you. Also, theres a frog in a fuckin car, where's the sense?
You are a nameless hero who now is somebody's bitch because of magic. You are accompanied by some fat english thief, some magical slut who is out for blood, and overly confident templar playboy. Oh, and your crush is a horse.
In this third person shooter/RPG with an awful character creator and a watered-down combat system you go on exciting missions across the galaxy that end up with you fighting waves of copypasted enemies across boring corridor-type locations, all the while making completely black/white choices that don't really mean anything. After the mission, relax by interacting with a colorful cast of 4-5 interesting characters and about a dozen of cookie-cutter templates, and try to chat up your favorite squadmate so you can bone them. Remember to do tons upon tons of the same stupid minigame, or everyone dies! Oh, and it's an EA game.
>terrible textures and ugly brown and black landscape
>always miss on attacks
>horrible character models
>has actual furry races
>buggy as all hell, falling through the floor is a pretty common occurence
>game is easily exploitable
I'll give you a clue on all the clues
-The arbitrary objective is a min loot requirement
-No resources means that you're sneaking instead of killing
-wasd wasn't a standard yet
-Horrifying baby robots
-Robots shoot you with cannonballs as you're trying to craft a doohickey to kill the antagonist with his own WMD
Humanity fucks up earth
They go and look for a new home
Native inhabitants are hostile
Humans get dumb fucking idea and start experimenting with the inhabitants
Turns out it was the original plan all along
Uncover alien coffin and it kills everyone
Second group of humans have to find out what happened
Some mute nerd kills aliens in ghetto area 51 with a weapon he just finds on the floor while also killing his coworkers taking their shit. He breaks alot of shit and ruins everyone's fun. This breaking if shit is so bad they call in the military to kill him, but for some reason the military is so incompetent that a nerdy fag with a ponytail can beat groups of them to death with a crowbar. The MC also kills a ballsack at one point.
This """cinematic""" piece of shit has a story that shits on the previous installment's ending, almost every enemy can be killed with 1 shot from any weapon, you can also trigger slow motion if that's still too hard for your casual ass
Let's not forget the truckload of unskippable cutscenes stuffed everywhere