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Exploiting Children For My Entertainment

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Thread replies: 48
Thread images: 10

File: robot-unicorn-attack.jpg (460KB, 1680x1050px) Image search: [Google]
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So a few months ago I started working at a public school as a sign language interpreter. All of the classifieds have a duty they need to do in the morning, and luckily enough, I was assigned to watch over the computer lab.

Basically every morning the kids file in and start doing whatever they want on the computers that isn't blocked by the servers there (they're technically not allowed to go on youtube, but no one has ever checked in on me and I let them do pretty much whatever they want.)

Yesterday I had an idea, and bought a big-ass bag of candy, kit kats, jolly ranchers, the works. I then, for the first time, set up a guideline for the class.

Whoever gets the highest score on Robot Unicorn Attack by the time classes start gets candy.
It was chaos, It was beautiful, and every kid in the room wanted to be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony harmony oh love.

Now that I have a full room of children with serious candy-lust to oversee every morning, and I am determined to mold them into future /v/irgins.

What games should I make them play next?
>>
Are there any cute lolis?

Cause you should hug all the lolis.
>>
>>322980708
A few.
>>
>>322980341
Robot Unicorn Attack 2, it's better than the first.
>>
How feasible would it be for you to have sex with of these children m?
>>
I would suggest not to touch any children unless you want to end up in prison dressed up as Sarkeesian and dropping the soap every 10 minutes
>>
>>322980341
I'll up vote this
>>
>>322980870
Do you hug them?
>>
>>322980341
>serious candy-lust
Pour the candy in your pants
Get them to hunt for the trouser snake and tell them to tug on it to dispense the vanilla syrup
>>
What year level/grade is it?

Try and get them into Liero, Starcraft Brood war, Quake 3 Arena, shit like that on the side if you think it won't get you fired and they're old enough for the gore (like say year 5-6.)

Also, Winnie the Pooh Home Run Baseball (Japanese edition) would be a good idea to weed out the casuals.

Nintendo website games and Tanks.Com are also great picks I was playing daily as a kid.
>>
>>322980341
do you get to smell the kids
>>
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Teach them the evils of nonfree software and dish out the candy as reward for installing gentoo
>>
>>322980341
>I am determined to mold them into future /v/irgins.
This is legitimately child abuse. If I knew who you were I would report you. No person should have to suffer the fate of being stuck forever in this god forsaken shit hole with no friends, no life, and nothing to look forward to except having your arguments shot down by some fat Australian shitposter for no reason other than that Australians have an intense, almost instinctual need to be fucking annoying cunts.
>>
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>>322982190
Don't you know that's an android app, son.
>>322982346
Could but no taste for loli.
>>322982729
Some of them run up to me and hug me sometimes because I let them play on computers. Wouldn't you hug someone that let you on a computer?
>>322982802
It's a range from about first to fourth grade.
>Winnie the Pooh Baseball
Oh my god that's genius.
>>322983174
Calm down man this thread is about video games.
>>
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>>322980341
Tetris is free and accessible
>>
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>>322983174
We wouldn't shoot down your arguments all the time if you weren't such a massive retard.
>>
>>322983314
Get a MAME emulator and show them the joys of classic arcade games, man.

I cannot fathom what would become of a future where no one can 1cc Metal Slug X.
>>
is nitrome blocked on the computers? make them play final ninja
>>
>>322980341
See if you can get some old stuff like Warcraft 3, Star Craft Brood Wars, Quake, Unreal Tournament, etc. on there and get them to play multiplayer.
For the team games, winning team gets candy. Make the teams random so the good players don't keep joining the same team to farm candy.
>>
>>322983314
youre autistic
>>
>>322983314
>Don't you know that's an android app, son.
I was about to suggest "bluestacks" but apparently they made a PC exclusive sequel separate from 2?
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-evolution-twitchy-online-game.html
>>
>>322980341
>Manipulating children in any form without the consent of the parent.
>>
>>322984737
>sending your kid to school
>not giving consent for them to be manipulated
Good joke. Everyone laugh.
>>
>>322980341
That teacher got in mega trouble for showing like teenagers that ABCs of Death film or something. So be careful what you do show them OP.
>>
>>322983670
They've got the system set up so that you can't download anything without admin permission, you can't install anything without admin permissions, and anything on the computer at the end of the day gets wiped. Unless I had like 30 flash drives with whatever on it it's just not feasible. Plus that's a lot of work.
>>322983691
I'll check tomorrow morning, but this is a good idea.
>>322984078
Like the team idea.
>>322984382
You're here too friend.
>>322984737
That's right nigger what you gonna do about it. Not my fault these parents are raising their children wrong.
>>
>>322983368
>Diamond Unstoppable Car
>Is stopped
>>
>>322986261
Well, we don't know that. The game crashes as soon as they make contact, but the car still appears to be in motion.
>>
When I was in school our computer teacher had us do speedruns of portal: flash version on off days. I ended up being the best in the class. Good times.

So yeah, check if you can find portal flash. Shit's fun.
>>
>>322985314
Maybe try some old school Scorched Earth, or maybe just Worms Armageddon. Kids would probably like Worms more right?
>>
This thread is why I'm going to homeschool my kids. Any fucking idiot has access to them at school.

I don't care what you're teaching them, I'd rather they learn from myself because I actually care about them. These aren't your anime figurines for fuck sake.
>>
>>322988068
>I don't care what they're learning, that's why I'm going to homeschool them
Good parenting
>>
>>322989450
Yeah can't wait to send my kids to pedophile school. Even if it wasn't wait until they get indoctrinated to hate white people.
>>
>>322988068
I mean your on /v/ so how much better can you really do?
>>
>>322986463
No, it clearly stopped moving before the fake crash happened. If it was still in motion it would have been a frame or two inside the wall.
>>
While OP intentionally worded it in a way that sounds creppy when it comes down to it he's only doing one thing: letting kids play games and maybe eat lollies once a day. That's a good thing to do. Can't beleive people are really taking the creepy comedy seriously.
>>
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>>322990243
>it would have been a frame or two inside the wall
>>
>>322980341

try teaching them you shit
>>
>>322980341
Install vanilla WoW and make yourself a guild filled with lolis and shotas.
>>
>>322983174

well maybe if you weren't fucking retarded your arguments wouldn't be shot down by fat australian shitposters of all people, you useless dropkick cunt
>>
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Found it.
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>>322994204
ANON GIVE UP
>>
http://pbskids.org/arthur/games/factsopinions/
Tell them to play this so they become respectable adults, unlike us.
>>
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>>322994627
What the fuck are you trying to feed those kids?
>>
>>322994947
The truth.
>>
>>322986463
>>322990243
>>322991334
No you idiots, it's stopped in the beginning of the gif.
>>
>>322995629
No shtoopid, it just hadn't started yet,.
>>
>>322987531
This.
My brother played a lot of Scorched Earth with me when I was young, among other games. Who knows, maybe they'll become interested in ballistics and shit because of it.
Thread posts: 48
Thread images: 10


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