>tfw you learned your social skills from video games and now

>>278106605
Go try talking to somebody like you're an RPG protagonist. It's an interesting experience.

>People don't stand there patiently while you take half a minute to decide what to say
Rude cunts

>>278106660
>like an RPG protagonist
What you mean by that? Should I try to get quests from them?

>speech check failed
>speech check failed
>speech check failed

Asking lots of questions often does "progress the dialogue" though. Some people fucking love talking.

>>278106838
Stilted dialogue, awkward pauses, asking questions and rarely saying much yourself.

>>278106967
Literally the best way to converse. People like talking about themselves.

>>278106660
That's basically all I do. Not because I learned to talk from games, but because RPG protagonists are socially inept aspies who have unnatural conversations.
When you talk to someone in a game you either want a quest or get more information.
OPs pic pretty much sums up how I talk to people. That's the easy mode of talking.

This thread made me laugh.

is this normal to wait 4 seconds before replying while i keep straight eye contact?

>>278106660
Yes and do the same animations Bioware protags do.

>>278106605
ITT: Autism

>>278107130
How can I learn to talk like this in my everyday life?

>>278108202
Give this coin to any man from /tv/ and say these words to him - ''not video games''.

>>278107130
If they interrupt, should I immediately cut to my next line of thought?

So you're thinking you're asking thisandthat, while your mouth produces totally unrelated, sometimes contradicting sentences?

>>278108540
Of course.

>>278108416
I don't understand, I thought this was video games. What makes this not video games?

>>278107217
I don't :(

>>278108202
You're already doing it. Right now.

>>278108820
I'm scared, Anon. Am I going to be alright? Will I ever stop asking questions?

>>278107130

Also 'accidentally' ask the same question a second time.

And then finish up with the infamous 'I want to talk about something else... Goodbye.' thing.

>>278108914
>someone asks me to do something
>"What do I gain from this?"
>"I expect some form of compensation in return."

>>278106605
I legitimately learned how to human by playing games like Baldurs Gate as a kid, because I had crazy social anxiety and my parents let me live in near complete isolation.

Thankfully there are worse games to learn from.

>Would you like me to say that again?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgBD6FMTLNg

>Harbinger watched as the Human resisted the indoctrination
>he sensed his mind blocking out the Reaper's influence, impossible, even Shepard fell at the crucible
>no-one could resist indoctrination, noone
>The Human smiled
>He slowly looked up and uttered four words that terrified the Reaper Vanguard
>The Human looked dead into the electronic eyes of Harbinger
>"i can hear you"
>"you think of me as a mortal, subject to your dark powers"
>"i am so much more than that, metal demon, my father is beyond your comprehension"
>"I am Jesus Christ, Son of God and this is the second coming"
>All of fathers creations will be spared... Humans, Turians, Salarians, Krogan, and all of his children across the Universe, not just the galaxy
>"you are an imitation of life, sleep now automaton"
>and with one gesture, Jesus Christ destroyed the Reapers

>>278109020
i should do this

>hate awkward silence
>can hold a conversation pretty well
>the person im having a conversation with usually cant
>because they are socially retarded I have to keep talking if there is more than two seconds of silence
>get accused of talking about myself too much

You can't win.

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>>278106660
>>278106967
>>278107130
>>278107258
>>278108202
>>278108416
>>278108540
>>278108820
>>278108914
>>278109105
>mfw

>>278109493
ask a question instead of waffling then, retard

>>278109534
I see you're enjoying the thread. Do you mind if I join in?

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>mfw I've been playing so many visual novels in a row I see almost every thing as a route

someone tasukete

>>278109020
>positive conversation
>WERE DONE HERE

>>278109607
sure m8

>>278109493
>>278106605
Do you people not have fathers to teach you anything?

Jesus christ.

>>278109493
>Talking to a lot of friends of friends is like talking to brick walls
>Try to keep conversation going but they never return the favor and it ends up in awkward silence
>Eventually get pissed and give them the same treatment
>"omg anon you're so quiet!"

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>>278109747

>talk with a girl you like
>hmm, a potential route
anon, can you help me with some of my garden stuff?
>Time literally freezes except for you
>Option 1 : Sure I can
>Option 2 : Sorry, I can't right now
>Option 3 : Unzip and urinate on the soil, further increasing the chance of sunflowers to grow

>>278109493
>I have to keep talking if there is more than two seconds of silence
Uh, you are talking too fucking much. Honestly, people who seem to be unable to just shut the fuck up for five minutes are the worst kind of people.

>>278109493
>two seconds
are you a girl?

>>278106967
Yeah, Ive learned to almost exclusively ask questions. Each answer will open itself up to new questions you can ask, making the conversation move along. Pepper in some anecdotes about yourself when appropriate and people will love you. Most do really love talking about themselves.

Another thing I notice is when people ask you a question they are really wanting it to be asked back to them.

>>278110131
Ok two seconds may have been a bit of an over exaggeration. I give people ample time to say something, okay? Also, most of the time I do stop talking its usually a 'yeah or cool' response.

>>278110245
>Another thing I notice is when people ask you a question they are really wanting it to be asked back to them.
speaking as someone who spends a lot of time talking to people that dominate conversations to talk about themselves, this is true

>>278106967
what
what kind of people have you been meeting
if I ask too much about their personal lives they think I'm a creepy stalker despite them being absolutely vain or selfabsorbed

and they are pretty shallow questions too, how was your day, what did you do, that kind of general boring shit you ask when you're 50+ years or older
god, the older I get the more I hate small talk, especially with women

nothing is worse than small talk with a male though

>holy shit, did you know about meme x, and meme y?

eat me

>>278109879
>muhh dad taught me how to shave
fuck off

>>278110245
>Another thing I notice is when people ask you a question they are really wanting it to be asked back to them.
holy shit this
wow wow wow I can't believe it took me this fucking long to figure out, I'm 22 now. Everytime I put in a inquiry I get this look that tells me 'nows the time you should ask the same to me anon'
holy fuck what was I thinking, I could have been fucking that belgian girl now

but then again, even if someone likes you sexually, it doesn't neccessarily they are ready to talk about themselves. could also mean that they're geniunely curious about you and dont want to expose themselves to another person

>>278110430
You don't ask them personal questions, man. Just ask them simple questions related to the topic at hand to make it seem like you are interested/paying attention to keep them talking about it.

I hate small talk as well, but it's really quite simple. >>278110245 has it down.

>>278106605
>tfw playing the MGS games for the first time last year made me start repeating things people say back to them
Th-thanks Kojima.

>>278110042
>Option 3 : Unzip and urinate on the soil, further increasing the chance of sunflowers to grow

It's lime I'm actually playing a Meet&Fuck game.

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how to be human
/v/ edition

>>278110270
maybe you're just a boring conversation partner

>>278110930
you stay out of this darkspawn

>I'll suck your cock and do what you want me to do for free

or

>Fuck you I'm not your delivery boy

If you fail the quest or pick the second option the lord will like you less. What do you do?

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>Avoid pointless conversation in games, only talking to Npcs when they're involved in quests or when they sell something.
>Start avoiding pointless conversation in real life, only talking to people when i need something from them.

Thats why i dont have any friends, thanks /v/.

>>278110042
Not him, but when I was 8 or something I once tried to load a save after doing something dumb.

>>278111453
Do you feel like you're missing something? No? Then you're fine, you don't have to have friends.

If your life was a game, would you reset?

>>278111601
social interaction is a basic human need actually

>>278111621
>go through a plane crashing into my house, barely surviving it, and losing everything in the process again
no fuck you.

>>278110245
>Another thing I notice is when people ask you a question they are really wanting it to be asked back to them.
This makes sense.
What about eye contact? Help me out social masters.

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>>278111453
>tfw this is how I play my life
I guess I have brain problems.

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>>278111685
Spent years alone and with no internet and I was fine.

>>278111712
>have previous knowledge
>not be in your house the day it happens
>claim insurance money and get sweet new stuff

come now anon

>in game zero fucks are given when approaching females, just jump/sprint/circle to them and press a button and bam you're in a conversation
>irl I try that and they run away every time

At least I will be able to tell who's my soul mate whenever they don't run away

>being on 4chan 90% of my time during my formative years has made me a cynical and jaded person compared to my peers
>still force myself to socialize because if I don't my chances for employment after graduation will go down
>try my best to smile and behave normally and not come off as a gloomy faggot but these people talk about such dumb shit that I let sarcastic remarks slip out accidentally from time to time and generally make references nobody ever gets
>people are actually so retarded that eventually they start seeing me as some sort of cynical sage with the mental age of a 60 year old grumpy man
>I have no friends because of this

Well I'm fucked, but hey at least TPP will be fucking amazing.

>>278111820
Theres not a place in the world I wanted to be but home at that time.

>>278112000
>people are actually so retarded that eventually they start seeing me as some sort of cynical sage with the mental age of a 60 year old grumpy man
>People like me because of it, I have a decent circle of friends I'm on the level with
Just keep trying anon, it happens sometimes.

>>278112112
that sounds insane. any pics?

>>278106605
Should I also do the same body gesture, for instance roll my shoulder around, out of nowhere, like every other 5 minutes?

>attending a dinner hosted at my boss' house
>everyone from the office is there
>spend entire evening making awkward small talk with people I have nothing in common with
>trying to be more social
>at one point talking to one of my coworkers realize the whole conversation sounds familiar
>I literally started up the exact same conversation with this guy twice in the same evening
>mfw the best I can aspire to be socially is a lazily programmed NPC.

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>>278112112
Okay this is getting a bit too deep for me. I hope you're okay man, it sounds like you've been through alot. Chin up.

>>278112269
>>278112186
no, no pics, and no story. lets keep it at that.

>>278112231
if the guy hasnt noticed or doesnt seem annoyed by at it hes probably just as socially awkward as you, that could be your new friend

>>278112231
I can't count the number of times I've had the same conversation with my friends, it's either them telling me the same shit they told me a few days to a week ago, or me telling them something I've already said as if they've never heard it before even when I know I've already told them this. And the thing is, neither party ever really minds, it's just something that happens when talking.

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How do you deal with normalfaggotry?
Thinking you're better than someone just because you went to a better college/studied a different thing is just so weird. Not to mention all the bitching about work, when I know they only ever really work 2 out of their 8 hours. Do I just continue to pic related?

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>>278106838
10/10

>>278112604
>it's either them telling me the same shit they told me a few days to a week ago, or me telling them something I've already said as if they've never heard it before even when I know I've already told them this

I'm really paranoid about repeating myself, because it's just fucking sick and weird. Like you have Alzheimer's or something. And then I have to listen to friends tell me about the same shit that happened for the third or fourth time, but don't want to interrupt because it keeps the discussion going...Are conversations with me really that forgettable? Just how little does one have to care about people, to not even remember what you've told them?

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>>278112884
just nod and agree, there is no point in arguing with trash

>>278111453

That's perfectly normal for introverts. They don't want to hear bullshit, just the facts.

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>You will never get awesome friends like in vidya because everyone secretly hates everyone in real life.

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>Try to turn conversation towards them
>They do the same to you
What do?

>>278112884
No. That's just shitposting irl. Tell them why they're wrong or better yet tell them why they're wrong and how they can stop being an/a x.

>>278113787
wonder if he's from 4chan too

>>278113530
>Not arguing just for the sake of arguing and making other people mad.
Its like you dont browse 4chan,

>>278111712
Isn't that the plot to Donnie Darko?

>>278106605
You have autism. For real.

>>278113992
>arguing
>with normalfags
its not fun if it's easy

>>278109879
my dad is a complete autist and has no idea how to talk to anyone, though

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>accidentally take six times as much LSD as I usually do
>panic and take a ton of benzos too
>okay, everything is fine, I'm completely fine
>kind of feels like I'm in a VN or a game but I'm fine
>next thing I know I'm in a lecture on astrophysics or some shit
>sh

>>278110930
After the new captcha has been implemented you'd think the number of humans would raise exponentially.

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I always talk to every NPC in RPGs, but I never actively talk to people in real life.
Normally I just stand to the side or in a corner waiting and staring out in front of me.
I hate that people judge me for not wanting to engage in conversations.

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>people are too dumb to get your sarcasm and end up thinking youre an idiot or rude

holy fuck why is literally everyone an idiot?
i dont think im particularly smart but no i dont want to talk about the implications of what happened in the last episode of reality tv.

fuck this life

>>278114614
It's okay. THere's always 200.

> Usually spend so much time by myself that I unlearn how to converse.
If it wasn't for interacting with people on imageboards, I'd probably have to pause and think how to form phrases.

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It got better after high school.

>>278114839
You think that's bad? I literally stumbled and couldn't say "Happy new year" to a friend yesterday because I hadn't actually, physically talked to people in about two weeks due to winter holidays and had forgotten how to move my mouth properly to form words.

>>278114940
Hell, that's pretty bad, but two weeks is a pretty short time. Are you sure you don't have brain damage?
I could see that happening to me, but I talk to myself a lot, so it serves as practice.

>>278114805
>people are too dumb to get your sarcasm and end up thinking youre an idiot or rude

It's your own fault, if you can't read your audience. A little smile, a well-timed eye-contact, adjusting the tone of your voice, wording things right, there are dozens of ways to make it clear even to a fucking robot that you're being sarcastic and get everyone to laugh. If you can't do it, then just stop trying to be a comedian.

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>>278114839
>If it wasn't for interacting with people on imageboards, I'd probably have to pause and think how to form phrases.
That's right, you would. That's why I came back here, I wasn't even able to say anything but one word replies a few months back. Still struggle with speaking because I don't talk to anybody but my mailman and the groceries delivery guy. Considering talking to myself just so that I'll be able to talk when I need to. Maybe I'll start one of those video blog things and become one of those guys with thousands of videos that have zero views.

>>278115223
Well, it's not like I couldn't say it at all, I just stumbled a bit the first time. I talk to myself too, just not out loud.

>>278114805
If you were smart, you'd take advantage.

That's how you get cash money.

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>>278114940
>tfw you know the right thing to say but you don't feel like you can because you don't think it would be sincere
Why do people try to force you to exchange meaningless, standardized phrases with them?

>>278115339
>tfw you know the right thing to say but it comes out wrong and you end up rambling on about dogs climbing up walls
Could be worse, anon.

>>278114940
>>278115223

In my case, not getting out much actually helps me deal with people better. If I don't see anyone for a while, my brain kind of like stops identifying people as "people", and I don't feel any tension talking to them. So I can just act naturally.

>>278109747

>someone tasukete
>not 誰か助けて!

>>278106605
I got laid because of my sick social skills I learned from vidya.
Step it up senpai.

>>278115339
>but you don't feel like you can because you don't think it would be sincere

The solution is simple. Stop being a jaded edgelord and sincerely mean it.

>>278115456
When I fuck up in a conversation, I just stop talking and wait for the other person to either continue or leave.
It works.

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>>278106605

Questions?

>>278112000

>on 4chan during your formative years

Get the fuck out. Don't come back. Seriously.

>>278115809
Too late, friend. Far too late.

>>278115805
I imitated snake in High School.

I didn't have many friends.

>>278114874
It got better for me since I just stopped talking to everyone and never had any need to

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>>278115961

...

>>278115863

Go away. You're probably responsible for something horrible happening here by being a child on 4chan. Go play in traffic.

>>278115961
i was myself,
still didnt have friends

;_;

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I wish people spoke English to each other in everyday life here.
It'd be way easier to just pretend you're some character and act like them.

>>278116093
Did you seriously never come here before you were 18?

>>278116093
Moot was 15 when he made 4chan.

>>278116093
Hey man, the happiest times of my life were spending 2007-8 with /v/. The old TF2 4chan servers, Japan time, Mother 3, Cave Story, MGS4 getting released, Megaman 9 (Splashwho man), Mass Effect 1 circlejerks, Donkey Kong, Pokemon DP, No More Heroes, I would give anything to relive those days. I still cry sometimes thinking about it.

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I always look for a cool character in vidya, anime or Tv show and i try to imitate him. I never had many friends
I dont even know who the real me is anymore

I'm the opposite, people start talking about stuff and expect me to ask them to continue and I usually don't do that since to me it's just kinda implicit. It's pretty fucking awkward since I'll walk away from a conversation and realize "oh shit, she expected me to ask her something" and then I go home and cry

>>278116143
This. I'm way more confident speaking to people in English than in my mother tongue

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This thread is golden. I knew some people struggled with social interaction, but jeez, this is some funny shit.
I have troubles with expressing myself occasionally, but nothing serious.

>>278116093
I suspect a lot of underage people visited 4chan a few times.
I remember sometimes lurking occasionally when I was 14, lurking regularly at 16 and shitposting at 18.

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>walk up to a stranger and look at them
>they unload 2 minutes of exposition at me

>>278112000
This. Except my friends think I hate everything including life itself. I don't even do it on purpose, when something sucks, I..well I try to not be an asshole about it but It just slips out and I end up speaking my mind.

>>278111715
Not the same guy but if you have problems making and keeping eye contact try looking at the skin between the eyes instead. It will be more comfortable and you keep the illusion of eye contact

>>278116484
> Walking around minding my own business.
> Stranger calls me a n'wah.
> I bribe them until they like me.
My friends will never be true.

>>278116414
>>278116143

I know that feel. My voice sounds way better when speaking English, because my native tongue forces you to breathe in a very different rhythm.

>>278111715

If it's conversation with someone then politely look into their eyes with a light smile on the whole time.

If not in conversation and it's a girl looking at you, glance into their eyes for about a half second to a second and then casually glance away.

If not in conversation and it's a guy looking at you, stare him down until he glances away.

If you have problems looking into people's eyes and keeping your cool (shows weakness of character but whatever) then try this trick: stare at their nose. To them it will seem like you're looking into their eyes. It's impossible to tell the difference unless they're incredibly close.

>"..."
>"I SHOULD GO."
>turn my head 90 degrees and walk briskly out of their field of view
This is how I say goodbye.

>>278116375
Stop trying to imitate the cool characters, and start imitating the nice ones, the ones that everyone likes.

>>278116807
>stare him down until he glances away.
ASSERT DOMINANCE, FUCK YEAR
People like you are fucking obnoxious

>tap L and R bumpers to prevent an anxiety attack in social situations

>>278117067
>QTEs to maintain your composure

>>278115250
not him, but fuck you. if anyone doesn't get the sarcasm it's his own fault

>>278116807
>friend tells me about how his grandma recently passed away
>he's clearly pretty broken up about it
>don't know how to react so I think back to when 4chan taught me how to interact with people
>stare into his eyes and smile the whole time he's telling me about how he watched her die
>he calls me an insensitive weirdo and never speaks to me again
Thanks 4chan

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I guess i wouldnt be so bad at socializing if i knew people who share the same interests as me. Its really hard talking about something you dont like for a long time and i guess thats why i dont have many close friends. Of all the people i know, not a single one watches anime or read books, we dont watch the same tv shows, only a few play vidya and even then they only play League of legends.
I always considered myself boring, but maybe its just because i dont know the right people. I cant have a 5 minutes conversation about footbal, but i can discuss vidya for hours. Im not boring im just weird.

This post ended up being a conversation with myself but im going to post it anyway because i already tiped all this.

>get to know a girl
>your charisma stats are the lowest
>your intelligence stats are useless with girls

welll shit

>>278117303
>tfw you have a reputation for being sarcastic all the time
>tfw you say something that's actually legitimately stupid and everyone thinks you're being sarcastic
S-success?

>>278117303
I see what you did there

>>278112430
I'm not either of those guys. Fuck you, what happened?

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>friend invites me to party
>not my kind of event
>decide I'll spend the night talking like Solid Snake
>just repeat the last two words said by whoever I'm talking to
>on way back home
>friend mentions how much everyone liked me
I guess people really like having someone listen to them.

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Obligatory

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>>278117495
>Level up
>Go to spend stat points
>CHA: 1 (Maximum for anons)
It's like I'm really a Nosferatu.

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>>278117508
My nigga. I'm like Yu in that my friends can't tell whether I'm autistic or a social butterfly.

>>278117643
This shit happens to me sometimes. I think that I act like an idiot and everyone thinks I'm weird and then a friend will mention how much everyone liked me. I think they're just saying it to make me feel better or to be polite or something.

I might have low self esteem

>people now learning that asking lots of questions is good for conversation

This is also how salesmen sell shit

>>278117643
people really like having someone listem to them?

>>278110245
>Another thing I notice is when people ask you a question they are really wanting it to be asked back to them.
Holy shit this. I want to talk about myself so bad but don't want to start off as a sparging attention whore. Why does nobody ask back?

>>278117893
It's a good trait. It makes you improve yourself more than other people would.

>>278117980
Yes Snake! Like Confucius once said: Ching chong, ding dong! It means that those who speak make friends with those who listen.

>>278113783
i know it's hard to believe but everyone doesn't really hate each other. Most people do, and most people also lie more than necessary but while i can't say i have awesome friends like in vidya, i can honestly say that i have friends i would die for. I realized at one point that holding any value towards anyone who hasn't been a positive part in your life at some point makes no sense. Just take new people and faces as neutrals, and build on that. I still struggle with introvertness, probably not as bad as you but enough to make me the "silent" person. And i mean, im good looking and have gotten pussy but alot of times i'm just drawn back behind my eyes if you know what i mean.

>>278117893
>play board games with friends a few years ago
>used to do it every week
>never really had friends growing up so this is really great
>we all transferred out of CC at the same time
>one of my friends went to a school across the state
>no board games for years
>one day start new board game routine
>find out one of my buddies has a gf in the same class I'm in
>talk about board games
>oh yeah bf has told me about you
>he just goes on and on saying "anon is so funny, anon always knows what to say, I miss playing with anon"
>get all flustered

>played RTS games a ton as a kid because I love building things and history
>fast forward to present
>everyone is just another resource to be used or wasted

I should sign up for ROTC

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>>278118497

>>278116143
>>278116414
>>278116793
>be gifted in English since childhood
>started losing talent in my mother tongue afterwards
Why does this have to happen?

>>278118534
It's going to take you 40 years to make General.

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>>278117475
Its good to be different, anon. Lots of people have the same type of problem as you. I think most normal people behave like robots who spout the same things over and over and have to follow the latest trend.

They always like to talk about what their day was like, so listen to that part and see if you can possibly relate. They like jelly beans? You say "Ill eat a whole jar of 'em and even the black ones. Or you hate jelly beans, but say it politely. People like to talk about uninteresting shit most of the time, but if you get the chance to know them, maybe they'll have some savant of somthing common

>>278109493
You know women aren't able to handle awkward silence as well as men.

>>278108721
qt grills do

>>278118871
No time for that, I need to find me a Huey and become Big Boss. CIA here I come

>>278119068
CIA is pencil-pushing, rookie. Plus good luck getting a government job with your internet history.
Join the Seals or Green Berets.