All the Buttons

sometimes i try to fuck your mom so she sounds just right

>>273507753
>buttons
>starts with something that isn't a button
Jesus OP, you had one job. It could have just as easily been a d-pad, but you had to shit on it.

>>273507753
>Some car companies work hard on making the sound of a closing car door sound just right.
citation needed

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>>273507753
Claw thread?

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Sometimes you don't need the analog stick and would prefer something that is even quicker and more responsive. Perfect opportunity for the dpad. While you can't ajust the speed of the character with the dpad you can pulse the movement. Imagine you speedrun a plattformer and while in midair you just need to decellerate a tiny little bit to not land in a pit: you would just let go of the right part of the dpad for a microsecond and then press it again with lightspeed as to not lose too much speed and boom you are set!

This particular dpad has just the right size and feels rather satisfying to press. With a dpad like that you need to restrain yourself from mindlessly browse quickly through the pause menu. Not so hard to believe why there is a growing number of people who have dpad-fetishes and demand the appearance of a dpad in love making to achive climax.

>>273507753
>inputting hadoukens from analog sticks, not d-pads
fuckin' pleb

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The fuck is this thread?

>>273507884

oh no man you are dead wrong, i don't work for anyone. this is my free time now. you know you are doing something wrong when it is your job to browse /v/

Good luck on finding a real job soon that you can be proud of.

>analogue stick

Thumb stick works better because all analogue sticks are thumb sticks but not all thumb sticks are analogue.

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This is the B button. Now that's an important button. Imagine making a kind-hearted popular green dinosaur jump with it. Feels good, kind of like a warm summer breeze or deep sneeze that makes the room shake.

Once you are more experienced with buttons you don't press it down center anymore. You can press it by slightly pinching one edge of the button. When you do it swiftly you can do it in a motion that pinches another button. Use the edge to turn it into a sexy lever that makes a character jump or punch and wait for the sound.

When you pay attention you can feel the button gives a slight bit of resistance and it even makes a timid sound one can learn to appreciate.

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This is the Y button. It should be located left of the B Button but slightly higher unless the developers where drunk and felt like players in general should suffer.

Because of the way your thumb works you can press Y with the tip of your right thumb and press B with the lower part of your thumb. Thats like promoting your thumb to a god because gooood daaaaamn: Imagine you would make your character run with Y and Jump with B! That's crazy! You can make acrobatics just with your thumbs.

When you firtst start gaming you are not that good at it and you probably explore a level slowly like a bitch who is scared but after a while when you get better you are not scared anymore and you run around like a professional parcours runner.

INCREADIBLE SPEED AND JUMP PRECISION!

After a while you can do shit you NEEEEEVER thought was possible.

Master this button and you can make innocent bystanders drop their spoons full of icecream they were about to put in your mouth before they realized they are to amazed to open their mouth right now.

>>273509227
That's really unsettling

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This is the A Button.

Imagine you build a city and you selected a park to be set right next to a nuclear plant (you know to make the neighborhood nicer so kids can play in the park there)

You place the cursor next to the power plant and BAAAAAAAAAAAAAM you press the a button to summon the park there! The button might look tiny but size becomes unimportant when you can sense how this feels because this does NOT feel like a small button.

This feels like the buzzer from family feud! KAPOOOOOW!

You slam on this button while your hand is above your head and BOOOM!

... a park just happened. Now that's crazy. Remember to press responsible.

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This is your X Button. Unless developerrs where crystal meth addicts it should be above the B button. That's a button you don't use that often but when you are glad it is there.

THINK OF IT LIKE A FIREMAN STANDING RIIIIIIIGHT NEXT TO THE POLE, ready to slide down and put out the fire any second you choose. Imagine you run around a Region that faces doom and you are unsure which way to go, you can press this baby and use a giant map to orient yourself. This lets you turn on the siren that makes the fireman run.

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This is the right analoge stick.

Imagine you are a freelancer who happens to be interested in weapons and you are involved in a company that researches time machines.

You never know where you might end up! You could suddenly be in the past having to use weapons to fight against dinosaurs. Now when fighting dinosaurs you might want to aim pretty precisely as to not shoot a dinosaur in a place where they have hardned shell that deflects bullets! That would be rather stupid if you asked me, kind of careless and shortsighted!

In Situations like that you can use this other analog stick to aim your weapon riiiiight where the dinosaur can be hurt instead of just pissing him off.

Trust me on this because i speak from experience: you don't want to piss of Dinosaurs. They are the wroooong species to fuck with. So get your aiming straight!

Yo why all these nintendo buttons
where my square triangle x and circle at
wtf

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This is the Start Button. You can use it to pause the game and if the developers of the game were hired professionals they made the game sound very low in the pause screen. When they are cool dudes they even make a little pause confirmation sound like

dee doo dee doo!!!!

When you are done pausing you know the developers were actual humans when the sound is reversed like this:

doo dee doo dee!

Kind of nice of developers to lower the sound in the pause menu because some players actually use telephones and get calls. When the phone is ringing you don't want to pause AND look for the damn remote to turn the tv on mute before you can answer a call.

Depending on what the game uses the button for they might just show the button that has a + on it because that looks way nicer than wrighting "Start-Button" in the screen like a guy would do who wears pocked protectors and a cellphone waist clip for easy access.

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>>273510140
The fuck you talking about oO

Triangles? is this Kindergarten?

This is a weird thread Mr Nintendo guy.

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>This fucking thread
What is even going on

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>>273510513
>oO

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This is the Select Button. That is mostly just for Swag unless you want to make your game feel like 1989 in which case you create a title screen that only uses start and select. In that case you can't use the sticks or dpad to move the cursor but have to use the select button to switch to a different game mode. Now that's bad ass. Serious shit right there.

You're really good at writing shitty, stupid descriptions. Are you in marketing or PR?

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This is a keyboard. You can use it for spreadsheets or use it to spread the ass of your enemy and fuck him up good, then call him names. There's like over 100 keys on this thing and you can make any key do anything.

>>273510909
Tell me about the escape button

>>273511004
There's no escape.

>>273511004
It lets you get the fuck out.

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This is your touch screen. Every serious gamepad has this. Developers can put anything they want on this. They can use it to show you something or they can put something there you can touch. Not enough buttons on the gamepad? Just invent some on the touch screen, no big deal. When just used as a regular screen they can combine it with the build in speakers to show you a video. Imagine you are the kind of guy who slpatter color all over the place. You could use the touchscreen to show you a map where you can easily see where you haven't colored before. That's badass right there.

You can use your fingernail to literally tap asses.

>>273510909
>playing some video games
>realize I have to pee
>press the pause button to pause the game
>it's actually the break button
>my computer breaks down
>have to buy new parts

Fuck PC gaming.

>>273511407
Why is the Vita such a sexy piece of hardware?

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This is a stylus. You can use it to draw on the fucking touchscreen like the thing is a magical coloring book!! You can use this to paint actual pictures or write your name or write acab or something. On the picture you see the stylus parked in this shaft thingy like it is a fucking sword. This thing is fucking precise too.

When you are a real man you don't use that stylus unless it is an emergency. You can go to the store and buy a bigger stylus. You should because compared to the regular stylus the big stylus feels like smacking a hookers ass (not so hard that it doesn't turn her on obviously) as she screams in pleasure.

Feels like you are picasso using a giant ass paintbrush to paint fireworks in the sky.

>>273507753
These threads are the reason I still browse /v/.

Godspeed you, black OP.

>>273511092
>You can use your fingernail to literally tap asses.
Ah yissss

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That's the kind of stylus i am talking about!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00B2VG52I/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_3/181-4333202-2105711?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_r=113B6NTH1EY9JTW8FZNC&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_p=1944687582&pf_rd_i=B009UONG1C

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These are the black and white buttons. The white button does many useful things and always helps you in your gaming. The black button is a dirty fuck who walked out on his kids and doesn't do shit.

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This is the kind of Stylus i am talking about. Comes in a bunduru with protective sheet. You never know what this giant ass stylus is capable of. remember to wear protection!

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This is a retard. Like many OPs, our OP is one, too. However, this one is especially retarded.

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This is the R Button. It is known as a shoulder Button because it is on top of the gamepad. If the gamepad was a body these buttons are where the shoulders would be. Also they are shaped like shoulders.

You trigger them with your index fingers. Sometimes your indexfingers are bored and they want to do something too.

Imagine you throw an Egg at a guy wearing a helicopter-hat who tries to steal your baby. You could use the button to hold the angle in place so all you have to do to shoot an egg in his face is wait for the right moment andBAAAAAAAAAM like a lethal cumshot you throw the egg in this assholes face.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU TRY TO STEAL BABIES, PEDOSCUM! Back to to the cubicle with him! Fuck him seriously he deserved it.

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This is the L Button. I don't really know a good example for this one. Yeah you could use it to center a camera behind you character in your 3d platformer but i think a better use would be to just make the character Fart.

Imagine you are a plumber and you enter a level for the first time. You look around, want to get a feel for the place before you start moving your ass but there is this gumba walking towards you. You could let him approach you without moving and as he nears you you jump you press the fart button. This will make the gumba think you can fart so hard it propells you in the air so his last seconds are smelly torture. You could fart at NPCs too.

pffrt

Are you making this up on the go, or did you write it down previously?

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>>273512938

i am flattered you think this is prepared.

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This is the ZR Button. I don't know what it does yet and i refuse to read manuals.

You probably use it to boring shit like shoot a gun or accelerate a car ot whatever else mainstream sheep like to pretend is gaming. You probably lower the automatic crop-harvest-extension on your truck when you play farming simulator or some shit.

As you might imagine i am not a fan. I mean they are OK i guess. What i don't like is that people will tend to press this button with the middle finger. THE MIDDLE FINGER IS USED TO EXPRESS EMOTION. HE HAS NO OTHER DUTY!

Im glad it is not analog because that would be even worse. Controling an analog button with the middle finger to me always feels like holding on to a head of a dude that is blowing you, which is not my thing. I Believe the middle finger should be well rested at all times because you never know when you want to show someone this finger.

Using the index finger sucks too because you have to take it off of L.

I Guess what i am trying to say is that i am not going to use it unless i absolutely have to. I would prefer not to use the function that is bound to this button at all.

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This is the ZL Button. Like with the ZR Button i am not a fan.

There is only one scenario i can imagine in which it can be awesome:

When you play the entire game with the left hand. In that case you have my blessing to use this button because then your right hand is free to so something else like fapping or eating a sandwich or flipping someone off or cofortably rest your right arm on your head.

Are there more buttons?

>>273514513
There's a button in all of us.

>>273514513
No, go home.

>>273514632
>go home
>home
>home button

You're not gonna skip that shit, right?

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This is a Mic.

You can use it to capture your voice. You could use it to make a character learn to speak stuff you actually say or you could use it for voice chat or karaoke or stuff like that.

Could be fun but it is porbably used by tryhard faggots to enhance teamplay. Fuck Teamwork. Seriously teamwork is killing games. I Guess if you are a lonely dude you want to use it to belong to some shitty team. I hope there will be games i can hang out with relaxed dudes far far away from any tryhardery. Probably fun to pick on angry dudes in shooters for being robots though.

Lets not forget that it also has a real use for gaming: you can blow into the mic with varying intensity to control shit. There should be more games that let you vary outside wind with that.

>>273507753
That picture is a right analog stick you super retard

This reminds me about that thing about "angles" someone did on /a/.
Does anyone have the screencap?

>>273514961
YOU'RE a right analog stick!

>>273514890
aaaah nonono man don't worry i got this

Still waiting for OP to do the amiboo/third party peripheral sensor on the wii tablet as a button

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>>273514931
>thread about buttons
>posts a mic
>a fucking mic
Holy shit kill yourself

>>273515314
Button it's still a form of input!

>>273509227
>Dpad not on the right side

It's much comfier and there's rarely a moment where you have to move the camera AND hit one of the buttons at the same time

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Uh, Professor, how much of this is going to be on the test?

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This is the home button.

This was thought of as a way to make idiots pause the game and access the OS again that is always the same across all games. Like ALT+TAB in a world were developers don't disable it every other game.

There is another benefit though. In case the Pause menu of the game is shitty and loud you can use the home button to pause.

>>273514931
>Those shitty ds games that made you blow into the mic to progress, making you look like a retard in the process

please no, don't trigger me like that again OP.

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>>273515804

No test! These are important life lessons every gamer needs to survive! So think of your life as the test!

>>273515982

that's not it...

You look like a retard when you blow in the mic because you always look like a retard. I can make it look cool and pick up chicks with it.

When a guy like you blows in a mic you can not pretend you are a badass anymore and your true self comes true. That's why you don't like it and why i like it. Think of it as another form of natural selection.

>>273510513
whos this bitch?

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This is the built-in Camera.

I guess you can use it to videochat or snap pictures of stuff and put it in the game. Guess it can help make ingame characters look like the people in the room you are playing with. In a good game you could replace every face with your own. I would pay attention to a game like that because there would finally be interesting NPCs in the game. Well the merchant in Skyward Sword was fun so i guess not all NPCs suck.

I guess it could be used to capture hand gestures or you could show it a certain color to unlolck a door in game or something like that.

Are you drunk OP?

Impressed otherwise.

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This is the Power Button.

I Guess it is used to turn off the system but i always like to drag my ass to the button of the console.

I'd prefer it if it gave the character in game more power. Kind of like a button that turnes a blumber in SSJ mode.

>>273516510
A CAMERA is NOT a BUTTON

Please talk about the C Stick

ahyeah here comes the tv button
the dankest shit ever

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This is the TV Button.

You can use it to make your gamepad act as a TV Remote.

That's some next level shit i haven't even been able to wrap my head around. This is almost Startrek technology.

Next thing they working on is when you beat a boss and get an amulet, the amulet will be 3D-printed out by the console so you can wear it. Just you bitches wait.

>>273516674
>I'd prefer it if it gave the character in game more power. Kind of like a button that turnes a blumber in SSJ mode.
Genius.

Are there any more buttons left, sensei?

I'm just gonna interject for a minute and say that the 360 controller buttons feel like something you'd find on a madcatz controller

>>273517038
Honestly the gamepad is based as fuck because of this
>Have an old Magnavox CRT that's like 10 years old
>Channel and volume buttons are all wonky on it, either doesn't do anything or does something else
>Use Wii U gamepad as a remote
>Works perfectly

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>>273516818

aw shit anonstradamus is up in this!

have a capri sun.

I-is the volume slidered next?!

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>mfw all current handhelds use clicky button shit
THAT SHIT MAKES MY THUMBS REAL SORE REAL FAST
FUCK WHOEVER THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA
Let us pay our respects to the ds lite and the psp, the last handhelds to have nice pushy buttons that feel good to press

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>Learn more on this thread then I did in college
Good going OP

>>273517471
same shit as mechanical keyboards vs normal keyboards. Opinions

>inb4 OP moves on to every button on every controller ever
>Keyboard too
>"This is the W key, this motherfucker can be used to type 'Fucking WHAT' Moves you forward too, fuck the up key; tbat guys a poser
I'm waitan you glorious bastard

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This is an Infrared Camera you can use to point at sources of infrared light for example a sensor bar but that's just a long piece of plastic with two little lights on either end of one side. When you are a badass and you want to romance your lady you just use two candles as sources.

Why would you use that? Oh i don't know maybe because you can use it to POINT AT FUCKING SHIT ON THE SCREEN LIKE A LIGHTGUN!

If you don't know what it is imagine the bastard child of a computer mouse and a gun. You point this thing at the screen and because of the rtelative position of the light sources you can use this to control a cursor.

Shit like that is almost so advanced that other alien races from across the universe be like:
"damn we better keep an eye on these humans. they start to develope some crazy fucking technology"

and the other alien who holds this shit is scared too, but he be like "yeaaaah later" becauser he is enjoying the game.

>>273517624
Not even. Pushing down mechanical keys is slick and the click you get from them doesn't require any more pushing power than you would from a regular keyboard key

Clicky buttons on the other hand use the worst possible triggers that are stiff as fuck and make your thumbs sore

>>273517259
>Volume slider
>sound holes
>headphone jack
>charge port
>bottom charge contacts
>amiibo thingy
>Battery light
>left battery screw
>right battery screw
>Battery
>IR
Can't wait
dis gun be gud

>>273518008
well i havent had any problems with my 3ds and i play shit like smash and monster hunter

>>273507753
but it's not even gated, therefore it's shit

>>273518034
Don't forget the Nintendo logo.

>>273517660
A-Z bitch

>>273509227
Don't you have a monster hunter thread to be shitposting?

>>273509227
You could just easily center the camera.

>>273517660
my sides

>>273515804
I'm jealous you got the bitf dedede plush

>>273518197
A-and the zelda emblem on my WW edition!

Thank you for this thread, OP.

Thank you.

>>273518034
>left battery screw
I'm so fucking hard right now

>tfw OP disappeared

Sweet button prince, you will be missed.

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I don't know what it is yet so this is mostly out of my ass. This little thing shows you were this (NFC?!) chip is located in the device. You can use it to easily connect other shit without a wire and without setup to the thing. Just hold something next to it and it will be used.

You can use it to connect these little figgurines. I'm not quite sure but i believe they are action figgures of my beloved childhood heros that can hold a savegame. Kind of awesome when you think about it. You don't need to save shit to a memory card you just hold this thing to the gamepad and you can walk to your buddy to fight him with your actual prepared favorite character.

Technically you can use it for other shit too. You could use it to attach a device that has even more buttons or maybe you can connect some smartphones to it. I think this will get big soon.

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This is where you plug in the headphones. This is technically a button because i guess the device will know when you use it so theoretically you could make a boss invulnerable unless headphones are connected.

I imagine you talking with the voicechat and you can make the voices of others only come out through the headphones while the gamesounds comes out od the gamepad-speakers or the tv speakers. If this is not possible yet it should be.

OH YEAH I DIDN'T EVEN TELL YOU! THERE ARE TWO SPEAKERS IN THE GAMEPAD! why two? BECUZ ONE FOR EVERY SINGLE EAR YOU HAVE!

i don't care what you say, that is fucking generous. That's like you sitting down on somebody's sofa and 2 seconds later you hold a capri sun and a banana.

How baked are you OP?

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>>273520421
not baked, not drunk just excited.