Oh hey there Carl. Didn't realize you were still up. Dem neighbors, right? Go play Super House of Dead Ninjas. I think the welfare version is available on that website that carries the documentary about your life.
>>272986856 I think Dustforce is the best precision platformer. You will certainly always know when you're shit at a stage in Dustforce. If realizing you're shit doesn't motivate you to get good, then suicide is inevitable.
My best bro is moving away and tonight was the last night I got to see him. We played the shit out of Smash 3ds since SSB has always been our jam and goddamn the second I shut the door I missed him already. There's nothing and no one that can replace a friend that you call brother. ;_; Sorry for blogging, just feel like shit and really needed to type it out.
I wish csgo was the reason I haven't killed myself yet. I'm still playing css after all this time. CSGO feels so clunky and your character feels so heavy and my bullets seem to never hit my intended target
csgo is my first cs, so i don't have those comparison issues. i'm competitive by nature and from the moment i started playing i just wanted to get better and better. online cs is a joke though and i'll never go pro for a number of reasons. still, it fills the days for now.
>>272988480 There will always cheaters. Problems with csgo is that the Source engine has been around lately and people have discovered inside out what it is made of. It has made cheating much easier and some of the stuff they do is cleaver. One guy changed the models to a wireframe model, and even though it is not technically cheating it makes hackers able to look through walls because it is using textures are transparent.
that doesn't mean it's ok, volvo could do more with their borderline worthless anti-cheat. it took them this long to start working with esea and who knows how long that will actually last and how much it will benefit the scene. shit's a fucking joke but hey whatever y'know, they'll just add more skins... yay.
>>272988882 Except it is damn hard to do when people basically know source inside out. There are people who did mods in hl2 and got vac banned and if valve went further to find cheaters they might as well kill the modding scene. Like the example I gave you, wireframing is a common technique used by modders or devs to basically get a depth and feel of a map or scene. What they are just going to block that option all together and destroy the entire modding scene?
As for the esea scene, yeah that was bullshit. They should have done it faster, but they are literally a company that is less than 100 ppl. Maybe less than 50 ppl. Point is they are a private company and being private means they cannot make investments into the stock market or have investors themselves. In exchange they get total freedom in what they do, but they make less money. Not defending valve in any way, but it does make sense why valve is slow as hell on everything.
>>272989475 not to mention the way valve operates is that people working their have a choice to do whatever the hell they want as long as they work. They can utterly choose not to work on csgo if they want to and focus their efforts onto something else. You want to develop hl3? Well you talk to a couple of people and get a group and start developing with them. I imagine that valve's attention is completely focused on dota2 right now (I am almost 100% sure of it) to care about csgo. The mission is a fucking joke, they completely bsed it.
you make some good points that i hadn't even thought of. just fucking blows, i rarely get passionate about anything these days i'm so fucking depressed but cs just does it for me but then i meet a cheater and it just makes me think "why even fucking bother?" y'know. then all this lan shit comes out and it makes it all seem worthless almost.
sorry for just ranting btw, i realise that's basically all i'm doing here and i still blame volvo for not doing enough, csgo deserves far more attention from them.
>>272990002 Learn some simple scripting or coding. html or java. It is easy and you get a sense of progress by making them. Ever made a word document, change the file to html and walla you made a webpage. Try to get a sense of progress even if it is small stuff, it helps.
>>272991821 I don't know what to do anymore m8, I look into the future and literally see nothing. I feel as if there is no other way of me possibly living other than NEET life, but that can't last forever. Everyone who I have ever encountered during my school years before graduating in 2007 has already graduated College/Uni and probably has a family now. I've done High School and thats it, tried college and got so depressed because I felt fucking stupid and dropped out.
I've lost so much control of my life that I'm blogging on /v/.
>>272992059 I know anon. I just spent the last two hours listening to conservative talk radio and playing Torchlight 2. I don't even like the game, I just wanted something to fill that gnawing void of nothing. I've quit probably six games over the past week, nothing sates me for long.
You can only live one day at a time anon. Try to let go of the future and the past.
>>272992321 >work dishtank at Bob Evans for $7.25 an hour >only part time so I get paid about $100 a week after taxes >have to spend all day elbow-deep in muck washing dishes >food, milk, coffee, soda, juice, and all kinds of shit all over the kitchen floor and counters >constantly covered in this shit all throughout the day, shit sprays into my face and hair when I'm washing stuff off >dishes come out at around 180 F and burn my hands when I stack them for put-away >get sick constantly because I don't even get to wear gloves while doing this >have to take off work and get shit for it from my family >feel like shit on a constant basis and the stress of it all makes me feel worse than I did when NEET
It's my first job, and I fucking hate it. Going to try retail and maybe even school, but if shit doesn't work out I don't know what the fuck do to either.
>>272992059 >>272992124 If you have a opportunity just take fucking backpack and go somewhere. Wherever. Trust me. It may not solve your problem but you will feel much better and at least you will some nice places.
>>272992321 I'm beyond that spiel and not any wiser. Entered college at 27 because I thought it would open some new perspectives. Ended up hating everything about it and dropping out a year later. I'm approaching my 30s now and literally out of ideas.
Killing myself sounds like an option, but I think I'll take someone with me.
>>272993439 as a 19 year old on the brink of suicide id like to ask what made you hate college? working my way up through entry level positions to management was possible for me but depressingly stressful and exhausting. im thinking college could be my ticket through to a happy life.
>>272993727 i loved school i just put too much effort on what other kids thought of me and lost sight of learning. im a lot more socially viable now and im hoping now that i know not to give a shit about other people i can focus on work
>>272994001 i've heard its really fucking hard though. i mean im not an idiot but im far from the smartest bulb in the shed, i was thinking web development since ive heard its just like learning a language
>>272993617 What didn't I hate about college? Everyone was so fucking shallow, it depressed me to no end. It was like re-visiting my highschool years, only now they were even more elitist. Yeah, it was a weird mix of elitism, shallowness and cautiousness. Nobody really cared about anyone. Don't even get me started on the brown nosers and "political activists".
College itself wasn't really better. I mean, from an educational side, college was actually solid. Everything about it was just so goddamn bureaucratic and formulaic. Back in highschool, everyone talked about college like it was hive of expressive freedom and knowledge. I learned that it wasn't the case.
>>272993965 >i just put too much effort on what other kids thought of me Yeah. It was shocking to me after graduation how little that mattered. I didn't see 99% of people in my class after high school that I didn't want to. I love being an independent adult. I'll never understand people who wish they were kids again and forced to live under someone else's rules. I can do what I want, when I want now.
>>272994430 >I love being an independent adult i lived with a roommate for 6 months when i was 17 and i can say it was one of the best times of my life. i tried going to parties and shit and that didnt work out, but it was always nice to be able to go home whenever i wanted and do a plethora of drugs to take my mind off of my social awkwardness. i ended up moving back in with my parents because the minimum wage shit didnt leave much room for a comfortable life so i just said fuck this and went back.
how old are you anon? what do you do for a living? do you have a comfortable life?
>>272994430 Becoming an adult made me realize that I actually connected quite well with people in highschool and that the feeling of being left out was mostly the result of me acting like a stoic cunt.
>>272994837 I'm 21, work in real estate, live in Seattle. I make decent ($15/hour, which is going to be the minimum wage here in a few years) but Seattle's crazy expensive. I just got a kinda crappy studio but I love that it's mine. I have the option of living with my parents in Orange County but fuck that. I'd much rather have a little money on my own than be super comfortable under someone else's roof. It's so rewarding being in charge of your life and knowing that you're going to get better every year. I know that I'm a privileged shit and not everyone has had the same opportunities as me but I'd encourage anons to take some risks on your own. If there's any time to step out of your comfort zone it's when you first become an adult but don't have many responsibilities tying you down. When you have a mortgage and kids you can't just leave the state to follow a dream of yours.
>>272995237 Yeah, looking back on high school I realized that the popular kids were actually good people for the most part. They were popular because they were charismatic, made people around them feel good, dressed smart, had good hygiene, etc. I hung out with a lot of geeky kids and some of them developed this persecution complex to shift the blame of their social ineptitude. They didn't want to admit that they were awkward and smelly so they just shat all over people who had it better than them. I even had that mindset a bit, sometimes I'd think that some popular kids were making fun of me when they were really just trying to include me in something.
>>272995591 >all those fun times I missed out on >all those chicks that were into me while I brushed it off I want to go back in time, smack my 16-year old self in the head and tell him that he could drown in pussy if he only let someone get through to him. I know of at least three chicks who were down to fuck but didn't say a word because I seemed so "unapproachable".
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