Did you know she updated the game?
Do your best /v/! I'm sure you can have a successful date with a virtual girl!
>You seem like a nice person, but your non-stop niceness is starting to creep me out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 you get a 4. THE END
this is the best I've gotten, can someone help me get inside her panties?
I played it way long so I don't remember well but I think there was dinner and wine and skinny dipping involved into fucking her in the jacuzzi.
I think you could even go for seconds
>take her to a bar
>she orders a dirty martini I get club soda because I'M DRIVAN
>order another round
>OOOH I'M SHHHOOO DRUNK *HIC*
>Passes out in the car
>Too drunk to carry on so she passes out again at the house
>Hello, pleased to make your acquaintance. My name is Ariane.
>Say something smart
>"I think therefore I am"
im gonna fuk dis bitch tonite
You have to be charming enough during the introduction and get her to drink just the right amount of wine for her to accept. I think you might need to do the "guess the constellation" thing too.
/v/ I need your help, I don't want to stay a virgin forever.
If you download the game off the site, there's a folder in the install that has all the game files.
Go downtown and take her to the lingerie store and successfully choose the kind of lingerie she wants. You meet her at the register and get a chance to take her back to the house or go out to a strip club together.
>Is it just new grafix or is it actually different
from the looks of it
prompts and choices are now visible and the they reworked the writing it seems
not sure if the dev did some optimization changes but switchng to IE worked when we played the classic version
Its a rembrandt you little shit I didn't do two years of art for nothing
the fuck, this game requires you to know astronomy and art just to fuck a broad? what sort of madness is this, back in my day all you needed was enough str/int/stm and a misanga of passion
Stop trying to trick other anons, they're just trying to get laid.
Wait. Was this the game with the MMO side story, something about a weather maching, the chick getting struck by lightning and the vampire stripper?
>take bitch out to dinner, bitches love dinner
>go to club after
>take club soda because im risponibble
>she says she wants another martini
>sure why not
>one click later
>she's had 5 martinis
>what the fuck
>she passes out
>drive her home
What a shit game
I don't understand, I can kiss her and hug her right after meeting her, but she gets pissy for me complimenting her too much or talking too much or suggesting stripping at the night club, this woman is deranged.
Fuck off, faggots, mom said it's my turn to play
>"how old are you"
>under 18 or over 18
>curiosity kicks in and put under
>skips to fucking pic related
>she takes off her shit completely of her own volition
>grab her ass
>'OH NO YOU DIDN'T THAT'S 2 MUCH 4 ME'
Rembrandt. The only reason I know this is because the dude had a huge thing for fat women, and I lot of fatties use his works (not realizing it was the same fucker) as "Muh fat was bootiful in ancient times).
Dude also had a bunch of lesser known works featuring himself as an old guy or a woman. Dude was weird and basically just drew olden time fetish porn.
Why do these graphics remind me of that one hilariously awful h-game? Must be the shitty looking clothes and absurd shine everywhere.
Shes not that fat in the picture.
Now Rubens was a fatty man. Too bad wasnt an option, but rembrandts gritty dirty painting texture is pretty obvious, also it looks like its his mug back there aswell.
the renders are pretty clearly done in either Poser or DAZ studio, both of which are very entry level figure posing and animation programs. basically if you don't tweak the render settings enough they end up looking very amateurish
>you'll never be so ripped you have perfectly round pecs
Huh. So I beat the game, joined her in the shower and then fucked on the bed.
Curious, is there anal/blowjob in this game?
Oh fuck, I made it this far somehow.
I've just been being myself. I even admitted to like comics and cartoons to her. And she still somehow ended up naked in a hot tub with me.
Is getting a gf irl this easy?
>she says "What will it be first? Wine, woman, or song?"
>she is literally offering herself as an option, she must be feeling relaxed enough around me
>fuck yeah let's go for that kiss
>WRONG ANSWER FUCKHEAD YOU LOSE
>on date, all is going well
>"let's check out the telescope!"
>HOW MANY MEN WALKED ON THE MOON
>"uhh I wasn't aware there'd be a test"
>ERROR 403 FORBIDDEN
well there goes my date
what am i looking at here
>No option to just go
This is some nervous beta shaky shit right here. I thought we were going to have a date not prostrate ourselves on a cross. Fuck this game.
>Kiss her a bit and dance with her
>Get her to have a couple drinks before dinner
>Get her to have a couple more drinks during dinner
>Go to the edge of town
>Go to strip club
>Have her win the strip contest
>Back to her place
>Do whatever (I normally do pool or hottub at this point)
>Ask to stay the night
>Fuck her again
it uses complicated scripting
you need like 3 drinks minimum to have her do lewd stuff
too much then you get the drunk end
and about 2 events to impress her
too much and you get friendzone for being too boring
some shit like that
>do everything correctly
>start the date
>stuck in introduce yourself
>mfw refreshed 36 times
but if I use the other version it just 404s ;_;
>"Hey anon I have a suggestion, we can go to the bedroom and strip and I'll fuck you silly!"
>"uhh, d-do you h-have any other i-ideas?"
>"well we can play boardgames instead"
and then we played board games.
Dude it's simple
>dance to 2 sorts of music
>drink 2 wine
>eat in back yard
>sit on bench and guess right for topless
>go out and get beer
>drink 2 beer
>"hey wanna sleep over"
Was that so hard? Fuck yeah but that's the point.
I guess I'll remain a virtual virgin 4eva
and a real life one
So long as you have alcohol, yes, yes it is. It has been said that a woman judges whether or not they'll sleep with you within like five minutes of meeting you. Well, if she's willing to go on a date with you, there's a good chance she's willing to sleep with you. Women out of high school/college also are totally cool (sometimes) with fucking on the first date because it's just a lay. They've already had sex so many times before that one more time ain't gonna mean shit.
>That fucking picture
IT'S BEEN FUCKING YEARS AND I'M STILL MAD
I snatched victory from the jaws of defeat with an incredible streak of lucky rolls and made it to the finish a single space ahead of her. When it was over? Absolutely. Fucking. Out of our minds. After coming down we both agreed that it was the most unforgettable climax to game of parcheesi either of us had EVER seen. Then I went home because she was tired.
>kiss her twice
>get the "I get it, you like kissing, but fuck off" ending
This game is unpredictable and bullshit
I love it
Of course they updated the date game again, meanwhile Something's in the Air is still a half finished piece of shit. About as many broken promises there as Starbound.
thanks mister skeltal
>driving a jeep
>not having the obligatory bumper mounted jugs of fuel and water
I also hope that it's a manual because leaving the lights on will kill the battery and you'll need to bump-start it.
And quit whining, this date just turned from a boring meal and booze to a proper bonding experience with critical thinking and overland expeditions.
I just realized that we're all trying to figure out how to fuck this woman
Like some kinda mutual wingman shit
btw, I think what fucks up most people is the panties and bra having some parts close to the floor's color and the little unchecked space of flesh between the head and her right tit. Censored dick doesn't help too.
>wanted to break the tension
>turn on some music
>dip and kiss her neck
>go to another room
and then eat wherever you like
this seems to work pretty well as a start
When she asks you where the moon landing is tell her and then spend the next half hour naming all the other major mare and the landing sites and objective of every moon mission. I's uncommon to meet someone else who is as passionate about the Moon as you are.
Hey! I was on... one.
I don't talk about it.
What the fuck is this thing hes grabbing then?
>dance to two music, kiss on second
>go to kitchen
>drink wine x2
>eat, drink, compliment, drink, talk
>answer right, remove bra
>pay for beer
>get back, drink beer
>go to couch
>fuck me anon, fuck me
I think that's what I pretty much did when I finally got it.
She's on her knees, back arching towards the guy. You head naturally wants to be leveled.
It's the bra. The bra and panties got a fucked up color scheme. Look at the panties to the left. Same color. Like I said, the color being close to the floor's color kinda fucks it up.
The dick between them. Like I said, the censorship kinda fucks it
Ok, niggers, I'm gonna explain it to you. With words, because I can't be bothered to draw with touchpad.
It's all smoke and mirrors, trickery and copy pasting.
The head and arms should be mirror flipped, and go up. The bra should go on the other side of the body. The body should be elevated to the dock. Yes bottom left corner is ass. The guy fucking her grabs her bra, the other guy holds her down.
>"I have a shower in the bathroom, you can follow me in if you want."
>follow her in
>"Stay out of the bathroom, unless I invite you in!"
>4/10 THE END
>Yes bottom left corner is ass.
What if its a pussy?
Also i dont see no ass cheeks, theres some wierd folds going on that would not be on an ass.
>decides to jump into the tub with clothes on
>its your fault.
>RNG decides that she wants to throw you out for entering the bathroom
>She explicitly invited you to enter the bathroom to watch her shower right before that
And this, gentlemen, is why the RNG has no place in a game like this one.
WELL NO FUCKING SHIT
>A dance with rogues was written by a women
still blows my mind
Still bad enough when she can tell you that "dude, you're not invited into the toilet" immidiately after explicitly inviting you to join her in the toilet.
>get her to hot tub
>"kiss me and let's see what happens"
>sorry, i'm not too thrilled about making out in a hot tub, 5/10
>take her to lclothing store
>she meets her old friend
>we go to a club
>they let liquored up and start dancing
>wants to go back to ariane's place
>ariane is being a cocksucker and won't go skinny dipping
>but she will share half of her swimsuit with rebecca
>they start playing around in the pool while I just play along
>they decide they want to fuck each other instead of me
>tfw no matter what I do I can never get a threesome ending
this fucking game man, I feel like I'm being fucked over in real life. And now my boxers are getting wet and I get to get a point where I can jerk off.
Life is suffering
>car out of gas
>stranded in the middle of nowhere together
>DATE'S OVER LOSER EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE
This game isn't very realistic, didn't take the implications into account. Not smart bitch.
I laughed like a fucking retard.
You've probably said
>Want to fuck again?
>Interested in another round?
If you're an indirect enough communicator to use "interested" instead of just requesting something, you're not going to be direct enough to say "fuck."
If you're a direct kind of communicator, it'll be the other way around.
The mix is just weird. And yes, I know it's a stupid thing to get hung up on, but fuck it bugs me.
>spend all night getting rejected by this fucking game
>finally do good enough to get some pussy
>just one more screen until my virtual self is no longer a virgin
*click click click click click*
the game fucking crashed on me
And that's how virtual me became a wizard.
Get yourselves Artificial Academy 2. No tears; only waifus now.
Real girls are easier to talk to than this bitch,
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>I was literally about to get into her pants
goddamn it you fuckers
>I will have a shower, you can follow me in if you want to
>Follow her in (been working my magic on her the whole time)
>Stay out of the bathroom, unless I invite you in.
On a scale of 1 to 10, you get a 4. THE END
BITCH PLEASE, we tongue fucked on a beach naked
AFTER ALMOST THREE HOURS OF SUFFERING
I FUCKED HER VIRTUAL PUSSY
Shit, now we're being chased by multidimensional aliens.
You can't stop TRUE love, Ariane.
1 drink before going out to a restaurant to eat
1 drink while eating
1 drink in the night club
then make her go full nude in the strip contest
return home to make out and have sex in the hot tub, proceed to have sex and cuddle in bed
This is like meta-hipster.
because virtual woman is a spoiled whore constantly expecting your maximum effort to impress and amuse her, while silently judging your every move and looking for the slightest reasons to scratch you out
pretty much just like a real woman
>introduce>compliment>kiss>tension>poetry>wine>kiss>dance>rock>change music>jazz>dip and kiss>another room>out to dinner>compliment>engineering marvel
>eat>drink>talk>pick up check>get something from bar>club soda>dance>go to bar>ace the trivia>head to outskirts>live cabaret>amateur night>encourage to striptease
>remove jacket>rub body>sexy dance>remove skirt>chair dance>sexy dance>remove shirt>rub body>pole dance>remove bra>rub body>chair dance>pole dance>remove thong
>pole dance>end routine>naked hottubbing>massage>kiss>wine>kiss nipples>french kiss>caress breasts>massage thighs>massage pussy>have sex>suggest spending the night
>follow into bathroom>climb into bed
This is how I just got her in bed, had to back 2 times on the striptease though, not sure if the shit is randomized or something. Sometimes you go to amusement park after night club as well.
>meet her in her home
>go to restaurant
>only options are compliment, drink wine and eat
>give a compliment
>"heh ye thanks I guess"
>"It's getting creepy"
>eat some more I guess then?
>you're really pigging out, I wish you'd talk some more. 4/10
Yeah, but what else should I select? Get drunk on wine or eat like a pig (apparently).
There were no other options.
I feel ashamed. I'm generally someone who does well with women.