>dad walks in
>some people in this thread will actually walk in on their sons in this situation years from now
>we were just hoping to plan a fun game with our son
>Sister wants RPG for Christmas.
>Buy her FFX-2
>She plays it in front of our entire extended family.
oh my dear lord
It's like a dying bird
>Just started Skyward Sword
>Dad walked in
>Started reading Zelda's dialogue out loud and only hers
>Now I can only think of her having my Dad's voice when she speaks
>playing a shooter
>dad walks in
>"you want to go shoot some real guns?"
So we went to a range.
>playing Ace Combat
>dad walks in
>"you want to get a pilots license?"
our city doesn't have a municipal airport
>Mom walks in
I don't even give a fuck, I love that song in English and I don't know why.
>that intro song
>Mario Bros, the first game to feature Luigi, features that song as the game intro
>it's by Mozart
>it's in a Mario game
>Mozart wore red
>Nintendo's logo was red
Could Mozart still be alive?
>Dad walks in
>Fighting some shadows
>"Why don't you use some magic?"
>I have Satan equipped
>Dad walks in
>dad walks in
>roommate walks in
>have pic related on fullscreen on my monitor
It's legal in my province. Eat shit pops.
Desire to know more intensifies
You what nigga.
Well, I had my game on fullscreen and my roommate walked in at the most embarrassing moment in the fucking game and thinks I'm a furfag. The game is called Solatorobo: Red the Hunter.
Why do you just let your dad "walk in"? Don't you have fucking locks and knock on doors before you enter like civilized people?
>world goes from being amazing post-apocalyptic land of zealots to world of diva bullshit faggots
Sin did nothing wrong.
>Gf is a
Not the DOWN WITH MEN type but the more annoying "Why can a guy do X but a girl cant"
"That's so sexist!"
>She's just casually watching
>Wonder Pink intro
>I'm trying not do die laughing because I know she's mad af on the inside
>Goes into some baby rant about sexism
Not an entertaining story but oh well
>Dad walks in
>Calls me a loser who will never amount to anything and a disgrace as a son
>tips his fake beard and leaves
>Only an ARPG
I expected something different, but I'll give it a whirl, always looking for new interesting shit to play
It's like you want her to accuse you of rape. You deserve to rot in prison for being this fucking stupid.
I don't know about you, but I lived with my parents in an older house, so my room didn't get A/C. To get my room down to 80, I had to have my fan on high with the door open. I think that's why I'm so used to 85-95 degree summers now.
>Gf is feminist
>She's trying to explain sexism and the patriarch to me
both my hands in her mouth
With all my might I rip her jaw off and separate it from her face
crush her skull like Isaac Clarke
A lot of people don't close their doors or something as if they think if they did that, it means they have something to hide and they can't for the love of christ have ~secrets~ from their family
This isn't exclusive to america or anything, it's just dumbasses
>tfw someone had to write this
>tfw someone had to voice act this
>tfw someone had to animate this
>tfw someone had to approve this
Well done anon. Now you have to take on feminism at its source.
So is it true that blacks are very overly aggressive and always looking to start shit?
I can only imagine the pain that anon still feels to this day
My dad broke my lock on the door while I was fapping.
Another time he hit me with a metal bat.
It almost broke my arm, but it was just a bruise.
I didn't think you'd so readily admit it. The fuck anon. This is going to sound racist, because it is but do you think blacks are so aggressive because they have large dicks?
To be fair, Wonder Pink is a terrible character and the game would have been better without her.
>I don't play shit like JRPGs and KH so I'll never have to deal with shit like this
>dad knocks because he knows that feel
>mom just barges in
>one day just happen to be fapping
>about to cum, ivebeenwaitingforthis.webm
>hear mom outside door
>pull up shorts, still jizzing when she walks in
>shorts are undone, leaning forward to conceal the item
>she walks right up to me and sits next to me, asking me some shit i dont remember
if my mom wasnt ugly and fat and my life was an anime i would have gotten laid, but man that could have been bad
Oh god no. I just remembered something.
>just finished a fap
>mom knocks on door
>quickly clean up and answer it
>she's looking at telling me to do something with laundry or something
>all the while she looks like she's tired/depressed
>scratch my forehead wondering why she looked so sad
there was a streak of semen on my forehead
>mom walks in when i'm playing horror game
>stands there without saying a word, watching over my shoulder
>don't know she's there
>jump scare in game happens
>i'm startled, i yell
>she yells louder
>i'm even more startled
>i flip the fuck out and jump back in my chair and run her over with the chair
it was that dumb fucking scp game in the stairwell fuck
>tfw mom walks in when I'm about to cum
>her first instinct too anything is yelling
>yells so loud that my heart rate goes up and I cum without touching my dick
>"what the fuck anon? You need a girlfriend."
The sensation from that was actually pleasing.
piss off /a/
>family walks in
"If I had better attacks on this route split, I would be using them"
>on my forehead
Impressive shot mate. How'd you manage that?
>How did it get up there? What the fuck were you doing?
Good question. My friend was telling about how flexing your abs boosts the distance. i was lieing down as well.
You do realize the vast majority of girls these days are "feminists". It's a cruel world brahs. They all think they're special snowflakes because they like Dr. Who and Sherlock or some shit and browse Tumblr.
>taking the bait
great now our thread's derailed
Are you sure? Cuz if I had a bigger dick I'm 100% certain I'm be a bigger asshole. I suppose it makes sense to blame the Jews what with them being responsible for feminism too.
I think it's evolution.
A lot of these black girls got an ass that a normal 5" couldn't even scrape.
Also, we are aggressive because that is how the streets raise you.
Then don't fucking date them. Do you need to get your dick wet that badly?
>Kefka3 weeks ago
>Could Mozart still be alive?
>Kevin N3 weeks ago
>He's working on a decomposition right now, in fact.
my grandpa used to ask this when he saw me playing WC tides of darkness. I miss you grandpa...
Why did you fap lying down? Do you not fap to porn? If you do then how do you watch it lying down (On your back I presume)?
I need to know because I can't fap without porn and I can only masturbate anally lying on my back.
>This is going to sound racist, because it is but do you think blacks are so aggressive because they have large dicks?
There's no real backing to the whole "blacks have bigger dicks" thing.
You're really going to blame evolution for why no one wants to talk to blacks? I don't like aggressive people. You can't be honest with them. That said I think it probably is just black culture. Thanks Jews.
That reminds me, does anyone have the video where it goes ONEE-CHAN~! Then some black guys come on and say
>NIGGA WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU
>there was a streak of semen on my forehead
>dad walks in on me laying in bed playing one of the Phoenix Wright games
>sweltering hot so I wasn't wearing pants
>spends the rest of the day making jokes about washing my hands
>senior year of high school
>fucking a guy a year younger than me
>we're trying to keep it quiet
>older sister barges in and sees
>closes the door slowly after apologizing
>this kills the mood, we get redressed and I try to sneak out for drinks so we can watch a movie instead
>hear a faint buzzing as I pass her room
You're just a slave to your dick anon. They won't grow out of it anymore than you'll grow out of wanting sex. Women have always played the victim and will continue to do so from now until kingdom come.
>All the girth in the world can't plug that hole in your heart.
>All the girth in the world can't plug that hole in your heart
>Mom walks in
>"Ian, I thought I taught you to be nice to girls."
And thus nobody gave a fuck that day.
I can't get into her tits because she had breast cancer and got both nipples removed but fuck me, she has big fucking tits
>playing the game alone in my room like always
>this scene starts playing
>MOM WALKS IN
Like fucking clockwork
At making your father wish he hadn't made so many mistakes with you.
Also the three best all togther
She has a nice body but my dick was deader than disco after she walked in on us. Plus the guy I was with is full gay, not into women at all, and only bottoms. Would be awkward.
If I was going to fuck her I'd want to do it one-on-one.
>had a kid young because I'm an idiot
>walked in on her masturbating this past weekend
More than anything it just made me feel old. Feels like just yesterday I was the one trying to sneak a jerk in during summer break.
This thread reminds me of when my Dad walked in on me fapping
>Nice and calm one evening, bored, decide to fap
>Dad suddenly comes in
>I try to pull pants up and change screen at the same time
>He makes me show him what was on the screen
>He just mumbles something, says "okay then.. go to bed" and walks off
How bad did I do?
>work/sleep all day
>stay up all night
>nobody ever walks in
You are a fucking idiot. Fucking having kids before you've secured your own future? Way to think on your feet you gigantic walking dick.
Could be worse.
>didn't have a password on my computer at the time
>left it downloading porn
>got a talk the next day about being careful about what I download.
It was some big-tittied chick getting railed.
>fucking an eleven year old at 29
>parents consent to marriage
are you from the middle east or something?
My mom once caught me fapping to SFW Nico Robin fanart. And by caught me fapping I mean caught me asleep with my hand in my pants while it was on the screen.
I never had a real future anyway. I was planning to get a job at the local auto plant, get a small apartment, and drink the days away until I built up the courage to kill myself. Instead, I got a job at the local auto plant, saved up and borrowed money for a small house, and put everything I had into being the best dad I can.
>Sitting down fapping to something.
>I'm naked from the waist down. Boner proud at attention.
>I open another window to search for something else.
>Suddenly door bursts open and Grandma walks in.
"UP AP AH THERE'S AN INSPECTOR HERE TO FIX THE TOILET YOU NEED TO FIND THE CAT BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'LL ATTACK THE INSPECTOR!"
>Turn my head really slowly.
>Realize she is at my back, and it looks like I'm just sitting at my computer about to search for something.
>She stands there...not saying anything. I have no idea why.
>She closes the door leaving me still conceiled.
>I slowly turn back to my computer.
>My favorite page is a furry website...and taking up the whole monitor is a fox with huge tits.
>It's all ogre intensifies....
>Go down stairs and get the cat.
>Suddenly realize Grandma has Dementia...and has already forgotten the whole thing.
>The next day, I illegally install a one way locking door handle on my room.
I've never fapped so vigorously before. Best thing I've ever done in my life.
Oh fuck I was expecting something cringeworthy, but the guy actually has some moves.
Hey, mine too. I did the math on their ages. My dad would have been 29 or maybe 30 when I was conceived. My mom would have been
12. They still love each other very much and I have five younger siblings.
>mom and dad gone for a week
>be seventeen, sister is fifteen
>she wakes me up
>"anon there's someone outside!" in a loud ass whisper
>"go to bed, it's probably noth-"
>BANG ON THE FUCKING DOOR
>defcon fucking five
>go to dad's gun safe
>grab his shotgun
>feed some buckshot in there like a mother fucker
>go look out window
>some asshole there
>go to door
>"What the fuck do you want?"
>"eyy man eish gotta piss you got a toilet?"
>he then calls at my sister inappropriately
>'sir, please back the fuck off. I will call the police and if you try to attack me, I will fire"
>sees I have my father's shotgun
>sister behind me shaking entire time
>Tell her it's fine
>sleeps in my bed
>"maybe I'll have a man some day that'll protect me like you, Anon"
>hugs me in bed. hands on my chest
>nope nope nope nope
>"uh, sis. No."
>She looks embarrassed
>awkward next day
>never bring it up ever
Well you may or may not have, but your chances are sure as fuck lower now! You're still a stupid fuck, and you need to be told you're a stupid fuck so you won't fuck your kid's futures by having six more little devils.
I have something similar.
>playing chivalry, all amped up on caffeine
>I'm normally pretty jumpy, but caffeine makes it worse
>right as I launch a spear into a guys face, my dad walks in and sees and shouts "god DAAAMN"
>I scream like a bitch and jump out of my fucking skin
>we make eye contact, and he chuckles to himself and walks out
fuck you dad
>did 3 one day
>do it almost every day since
It's only gay if it's someone else, faggot.
Seriously, you can jerk it to incest in 2d and shit, but it's like none of you have ever had a healthy brother/sister relationship. It's disgusting.
I'm sorry again.
I should have known, but I played a vidya that the more you kill shit, the higher your level.
Abortion is killing a baby no matter how you swing it, but you're still the fucking retard who lets your dick make your life decisions for you. I just hope she was drop dead gorgeous anon because your future doesn't deserve to get fucked up by a 6.
>looking at hentai casually
>dad walks in
>i continue to browse because my pc isnt facing the door
>reflection off the window behind me
>watching those chinese cartoons son?- literally what he said
>freeze up close out tell him awkwardly hehe yeah dad
>Shio the goat4 days ago
>Why Rap musics are better then Clasical Music:
>#1 Why are clasical music so damn long? Whose going to sit around for 2 HOURS just to listen to one Mozurt song? Rap Music are just 3 or 4 minutes long so thats why its better
>#2 Why Clasical Music have no words? Didnt Mozurt have a story to tell with his song? I guess not. Rap Musics tells the story. Rap music is interesting, but clasical music not interesting because there is no story.
>#3 Clasical Music uses old fashion instruments like violin and trombone. Boring. Rap Music uses new instruments and you can dance to the beat sometimes. Rap Musics doesn't use trombones thats why its better.
>Thank you for reading my essay on why Rap Musics is better then Clasical Music.
>all those replies taking it very very seriously
>be close friends with neighbor girl since we like 5
>Sleep over at her house all the time and vice versa during the summer
>parents think nothing of it because we've been doing it for years and they considered us basically brother and sister
>as she gets older she starts to get hotter and hotter and she gets more girly though we continue to hang out and sleep over as always
>both 14 going on 15
>sleep over at her house during the summer
>instead of wearing t shirts and shorts to bed she starts wearing nighties or just panties and t shirts
>I have massive erections all the time when we go to sleep but I can't act on it, I know she doesn't want to sex me
>one night steal a pair of her panties from her laundry basket and jerk off into them THRICE in the guest bathroom
>next time I'm at her house I steal a pair of her panties for personal use
>much later in the summer peep on her changing in our pool house.
seeing her pussy made me cum without even touching my dick.
>in 10th grade
>have to tutor 8th graders
>those girls have hips and boobs that don't belong
>can't handle it
Came all up in the stall in the bathroom in 3min
As a guy with a black girl with a huge ass and only a 6" it really doesn't get in the way as much as you think because you can spread the cheeks for anal, and it isn't covering the vagina
>It's not a child's show
>Oh I'm sorry. Excuse me. My little pony, a show about toys?
>It's about friendship and magic!
We grew up on a semi-farmhouse so seeing people nearby like that was extremely unusual.
Well, she's eighteen now, but back when she was 15 I'd have to say a 7/10? I don't like rating my sister but she was average or a little above.
Mega overbite though. Later fixed with braces and shit.
I only got laid
two weeks ago
I comforted her by letting her stay in my bed and talked to her for a while. When she got THAT kind of touchy, I just deflected that.
Why do all of you want to fuck your family?
usually do 2, with a sock usually or toilet paper if I have the means
used to do 3 but havent in years
thought of doing 4, glad I didnt
did 5 a few times but its not ideal
I only do 6 if it isnt going to make a mess like if I'm on my roof or outside
the best fap I ever had was lubed up, on my roof with my laptop with HD porn on
being able to just let it fly is the best
At times? No women are bitches because there aren't enough consequences for being bitches. A man acts up he gets his ass kicked. A woman acts up she always wins by making it about "how you said it." Nah fuck women.
>Women have always played the victim and will continue to do so from now until kingdom come.
My mom does that and I can't believe she's my mom, or that she hasn't been diagnosed as clinically insane.
/a/ with their constant "le secret club xD" shitposting and elitism made people angry, said people starting spreadnig the word around and being even more vocal and curious about sadpanda, eventually the wrong kind of people noticed the site, and now sadpanda is being bombarded with C&Ds and content is getting removed day and night for over a week.
All because a bunch of nerds thought knowing how to edit cookies made them cool and part of a secret club.
oh wow they are having a literal argument on the subject
Women play the victim because they're physically inferior to men. Because of this no matter how much they ask for equality they'll never see themselves as equal.
Because they aren't.
I mean, I'm into shota and light guro but incest is just nah.
I mean, I can read incest porn and stuff and still get a good jerk or two if the art's good, but never in real life.
By all means, be my guest. She's into superwholock shit though.
>think im alone
>pretend im a super saiyan or some shit
>hear my sister walk in the room
>try to play off my wacky arm movements as scratching my back or stretching
>he starts telling his dad about clopping
Fuck you anon
I shouldn't have laughed at that
That other guy's being a dick but you made the best out of the situation you're in. As long as you try to be a good dad, I don't think many people that aren't autistic shutins will look down on you.
Actually, I think it's because she had a shitty mother who would abandon her and her siblings for days and leave them with no food and shit. that's what I think, anyway. Want to know what's funny, though? She would totally agree with you right now. About bitches, that is.
I unconsciously whisper what I'm thinking out loud when I think nobody is around.
its going to screw me over one day, I know it.
Or maybe people already know and think I'm schizophrenic.
I tried shit like giving her a hard time for dressing like that around me and telling her she was cute in her nighties and shit but she really didn't seem to care. I was basicly just a horny brother to her. She's not stupid, I'm sure she knew I wanted to fuck her but we were also the as close to family as you can get without being genetic. I just took the pussy way out and came in her underwear and groped her while she was sleeping once.
>housesitting for my dad
>brought an external hard drive with some of my Steam games installed on it so I could play them on the PC he has hooked to his tv
>perfect parries for days
>while I'm scratching his dog with my left foot and talking with him about his trip
>that feel when
So nice when you can pull crazy shit off while other people watch.
Do you? I haven't found it since.
One /gs/ I like a lot is that one stupid succubus one
> 6 or 7 years old
> mom reading a book to me while I go to sleep like usual
> dad pokes his head in, they talk about something parenty using obfuscation, not like I cared
> leaves, then pokes his head back in with a weird look on his face
>"what are you doing?"
> mom pauses stroking my erection, looks at him with a slightly confused face
> silence for more than a minute
> dad leaves
> the nightly story and wank continue until I start producing semen
> never spoken of, ever.
You can tell his father is truly from the baby boom generation, you can hear him dying internally in his voice.
I'm used to being looked down on anyway. Part of why I fell for her mom was that nobody else was ever really nice to me. She was pretty and popular and smart, but she was always nice to me.
I like how he doesn't even hide the fact that he masturbates to sexualized pastel horses.
>THERE'S THIS ONLINE SITE CALLED MOB, UHH UHHHH AND THE PONIES GET CUT IN HALF WITH A CHAINSAW
>Dad walks in
>Except not because parents divorced
Is it? That's cool.
You know Anon, I'll be frank with you because we're best friends, but I think she actually, really and truly likes me in a romantic way. The problem is I just don't know how that kind of life would work out for us, so I'd rather just riddle her or something. I'm sure these feelings will fade eventually, right?
> implying in the age of easy contraception and equal rights there should be any kind of legislation regarding who you may and may not fuck.
> arguments for sexual restrictions are always religiously based
> we all know how valid religious based arguments are
> how's that pork taste cletus, nice poly-cotton blend shirt
>gf is feminist
>dont care, the butts phat the titties are a well shaped c-cup and she plays vidya and shares common interests
>get along fine
i dont see why this is so difficult for you faggots