How many tans exist right now?
Are there Gameboy/pocket/color/advance- tans?
They've always existed but they're never canon since nobody can actively decide on one set tan. I mean FFS, they had website-tans for the longest time. How exactly new are you?
I have one, got it at launch. It has its problems, but its a decent little system with games that most normally I probably wouldn't try out on bigger consoles.
I also just got the latest HumbleBundle App working on it, so I'm enjoying the fuck out of big screen Raiden Legacy.
I don't understand how this tan craze just randomly exploded. The "original" set (with Wii-U being a milf and Xbone having that helmet thing) are almost a year old, if not older.
Reddit, the fact that 4chan grows in number every year.
Also, the summer pop increase. All the kids who are allowed to stay up late, and browse the internet freely during summer. Even the mature ones, the ones who shouldn't be "summer" but technically are due to their jurisdiction. The tans also reside in that territory. The only best way to survive a vidya summer like this is to stay off it entirely. My summer browsing becomes extremely limited
Motherly? Kid friendly? Family-oriented? Mature enough to not try pretend gore makes you an adult? Meanwhile PS4 and Xbone try so hard to look mature with theyre shooters and shit.
Confirmed talking out of your ass. Tans have been a part of image board culture for a very long time. I think you need to realize that 4chan is one of many and not the first of its kind. Just google XP-tan.
Im surprised this isn't how products are being marketed this days. Ascribe a female personality to your thing and you've got several thousand drooling retards waiting to buy it and create bodypillows of it
So is there anything to show power of different tans yet?
Because I think it should be something noticable. Like as tans get larger depending on how much power they have, so something like the WiiU would tower like a giant above the NES tan
And I am not just saying this to appease my giant girl fetish
My want for an Ouya before Ouya-tan was 0%, not sure what it is now, but I'd certainly be more willing to buy one than I was before (but I won't unless it's incredibly cheap)
>How many tans exist right now?
Shit's getting out of control.
I think you need to understand that Wii U will have an utterly superior lineup of exclusives for the entirety of this generation. Nothing can change that. PS4 can sell 200 million units, Wii U would still get more exclusives. People who know a few things about the hardware at hand, they'll tell you the same. Wii U is built for exclusives, PS4 and Xbone are built for multiplats. That's why developer support is much stronger on PS4 and Xbone, but in time, the consumer will choose the opposite and just head to PC for multiplatform titles. When this gen started, we all knew that the winner would be the one with the best 1st party games, i.e. Nintendo. And if we are looking at 3DS and Wii U combined, Nintendo IS utterly overshadowing the competition. Welcome to the winner of the gen, just like last time Sony and MS are merely battling for 2nd place.
I can't fucking stand having to hide this pandering bullshit. I'd rather have the consolewars shitposting back than than you fucks literally circlejerking over fanfiction of fucking sexualized consoles of all things.
But if you hate the threads so much, why do you post in them?
Didn't moot straight up say that we get barely a dent in an increase in site activity when summer rolls around?
Though I actually do believe (in a way) the explanation you gave. I mean these kinds of tan threads (the current ones with Wii u milf, helmet Bone, etc.) have been around for a while with one thread popping up occasionally. I honestly thought they were at their peak with last E3 but the recent explosion in these threads appearing regularly is odd.
I mean I still enjoy these threads, but everything is good in moderation, y'know?
>there is absolutely no reason to get a Wii U if you have a PC and a 3DS already
But that's wrong. Wii U has the exclusives.
Ouya could have been decent if the controller was good and they dropped the "lol if you don't like it just hack it and fix it :^)" attitude.
I don't mean successful, not at all, but at least not joke material.
>I mean I still enjoy these threads, but everything is good in moderation, y'know?
Doesn't matter if we have a lot of these anyways, like most of everything /v/ discusses it will be fotm before something else takes it's place and the subject is almost never touched again.
>they're not actually tanned
I don't think this semen-slurping fetish is for me guys.
>Doesn't matter if we have a lot of these anyways, like most of everything /v/ discusses it will be fotm before something else takes it's place and the subject is almost never touched again.
I hate that I know this is true
then after it dies out if you try to bring it up again after a long hiatus you will just get shat on by shitposters that call any joke being repeated twice a Reddit meme On the bright side these threads will make a real comeback after they die around the time of next years E3
I still think the Neps are the best console personifications.
>rather plays with sweaty bear cockmonglers instead of delicious flat chested squid girls
the fuck is wrong with you, bro?
Microsoft has official Windows 7 and Windows 8 tans (W8 has even two tans, one for RT and one for the normal desktop build)
Microsoft also has a Internet Explorer tan
to support these characters, they have sound packs for W7 and W8, and for IE, there is a IE 11 theme with custom bookmarks from the character, there is also a facebook page where "she" posts and interact with other people
It all went downhill when it became common to refer to them as "tans". I'm not saying they were never referred to as such before, but years ago they were more commonly called console girls.
Now its quickly approaching mlp/katawa shouju levels
>has no characteristics of the GBA at all except for the A on it's belt
I like the figure but that's some major bullshit right there. It's just those old board-tans from way back when.
who knows, they tried a bit with the 360, but it was just a one time thing
meanwhile Windows gets its own animated TV commercial
Sega recently made a tan for every single system they had
besides the nomad
they are going to use it on a game
because in moonspeak saying name-tan is how a child mispronounces name-chan, and it's considered cute. Some retard decided to call personifications of consoles tans and it picked up for whatever reason and is now a 100% honest and true /v/ meme
snes-tan never fails to make my dick hard and my heart soft
More OCs please. Also someone make this.
Main problem is people lay down the "feels" stuff too thick, forgetting that you're supposed to have humor to balance it out.
At the end of everything, you should be able to laugh.
i don't know what the FUCK is going on here
Hm. Would Vita be Bladewolf then?
You know, PSP and such being along with handhelds and such but then Sony said PS vita is now just an extension to PS4
Why would anyone make this
This is Deviantart Tier feels fanfiction
These things are supposed to be funny, and are only good when people make random gag comics with them rather then some dumb canon
Nice Joystick... Alright...the truth, then. You're right about one thing -- I do need Hardware, And Games! Wanna know why?! I have a dream! That one day, every person in this gaming community will control their own destiny! A land of the truly free dammit! A nation of gameplay not cutscenes -- ruled by skill not social justice! Where the individual changes to suit the game, not the other way around! Where design and funding are back where they belong, in the hands of the developers! Where every developer is free -- to think --to act -- For himself! Fuck all these limp-dick journalists, and these chicken shit reviewers! Fuck this 24/7 spew of internet celebrities and SJW bullshit! Fuck Gay Pride -- fuck the publishers -- Fuck - all of it! The gaming industry is diseased -- rotten to the core...there's no saving it... We need to pull it out by the roots! Wipe the slate clean -- burn it down! And from the ashes a new Industry will be born! Evolved but unchained! The weak will be purged -- and the strongest will thrive -- free to play as they see fit! They'll make Gaming great again! You still don't get it! I'm using console-war as a business to get elected! So I can end console-war as a business...In my new Industry, developers will die and develop...for what they believe! Not for money -- Not for SJW-points -- Not for what they're told is right! Every developer will be free to fight his own wars! Hah...so, what do you think?..
Tans should NEVER have cancerous shit like 'feels', fuck off back to /r9k/ if you want that.
Making a joke is the only goal for these comics and it's best achieved by poking fun at the flaws of each system.
This >>253753228 perfectly mocks the bullshit that was posted here >>253750824. Godspeed that the SNES-tan artist GETS it.
The Move, I guess.
Yeah, I should try that.
I'm not sure about Mistral.
Maybe a Mac or something? Like, she was literally the second boss, pretty easy and has a ton of gadgets that are only compatible with her.
I'd take an Adventure in her Odyssey.
>Also, the summer pop increase.
Pretty sure moot has come out and said that there isn't any notable increase in traffic during Summer.
Summer is just a boogyman. Something you'll notice once you're on here for more than five minutes is that this site is equally shitty year-round. It's not a seasonal thing.
So, any drawfags here willing to draw a Playstation TV-tan? I'm thinking that she'd be a brainwashed Vita-tan, all cleaned up and happy, and oblivious to what she actually is.
Must be worse for GG-tan or her sister Nomad-tan
More like cosplay/dresses put on the console/PC/etc.
U-tan bitter that her Genesis, NeoGeo, and N64 dresses haven't been tailored to her liking, yet PC prances around in them all the time
You can stop saying that, you know.
We get it.
That is because people from day 1 started FORCING emotional stuff
Emotional stuff is good if you just let it be emotional. It is all ruined when you try to push it.
Jokes also fail if you try to push them. Everything is ruined if you try to do it forcefully.
requesting console tans laughing at PC dressed like this doing the dance and song
You know, I keep seeing people complain about "feels shit", but I rarely ever see any of the shit they're complaining about get posted.
I mean, yeah, there's that screencap, but no one ever actually posts any comics or images with anything "forced" other than that.
requesting console tans dressed like that pic doing the dance and song with PC looking on annoyed.
Though I agree that a few more males might be neat, I don't wanna force it just to meet a quota.
She doesn't have enough pics, that's what's wrong with her
what would n64-tan with the disk drive look like?
i'm just curious to see how it works haha
Guys, are you stupid or something? This is not an ELF MAN this is LINK from the CD-I ZELDAS. This is not a joke.
Well the one comic explains part of it, they both don't sell well. The Vita is kind of being used like a Wii U gamepad by Sony now as opposed to being its own console so they have that connection too.
Also a lot of people seem to be using the Wii U like a big sister type, the Vita is younger because she's a handheld and she doesn't like her real "older sister" the PS4.
Since you're retarded here is what hot glue looks like smartass.
>You read the red text in Ron Howard's "Arrested Development" voice.
The main problem I have with Neps is that -tans are supposed to be recognizable as to who they are even from a first glance. This is how it was with the original OS-tans, it's how it is with 4chan's console-tans, and generally how it is with good -tans overall.
Neps look... same-y, which isn't good when they're meant to represent conso-
they cant go full detail because they are a commercial IP
Neps can't just say YO THIS IS THE ECKSBAWKS, SEE THE LOGO ON IT because they could be sued from left and right
hence why the heroine is the only one who has the name of a console, Neptune
am i playing a text adventure? can i choose to LEAVE ROOM? that seems like my best option right now
I don't know, that still doesn't seem like a great excuse. Xbox-tan could still have X motifs in her design (even something simple but subtle like a pair of green hairpins crossing into an X), for example.
They don't have to outright say it (because they can't), but they don't have to end up generic-looking.
The problem with that is most barely look like what they were meant to be. They've taken generic looking anime girl put a colour associated with the console on her and gone good enough.
Admittedly due to the color-scheme of her suit, otherwise I wouldn't have guessed it.
>You try to IGNORE YOUR MOM
>YOUR MOM is getting irritated
>You try to DRILL A HOLE in the door
>You fail to DRILL A HOLE in the door with your penis
>Your penis hurts
>YOUR MOM is really furious right now
>You try to FUCK the door
>there's no hole to stick your PENIS into
>YOUR MOM rushes out of the room. The door closes behind her back.
It's an important part of her design. A pink PS4-tan wouldn't look very much like a PS4 either, even if she has a giant 4 on her chest. It gets worse with the support tans. Vita-tan is just Tomoko, after all.
MS knows exactly what you are talking about.
>You try to IGNORE voices
>You successfully IGNORE voices
>The place is calm now
>You go to your CLOSET and find a FEDORA and SUPERIOR NIPPON KATANA THAT WAS FOLDED OVER 1 MIRRION TIMES
>You take SUPERIOR NIPPON KATANA THAT WAS FOLDED OVER 1 MIRRION TIMES
>Under close inspection SUPERIOR NIPPON KATANA THAT WAS FOLDED OVER 1 MIRRION TIMES is actually a PLASTIC TOY
>Because you don't have clothes on, you EQUIP SUPERIOR NIPPON KATANA THAT WAS FOLDED OVER 1 MIRRION TIMES in your LEFT HAND
I wish there were some Vita-tan images that were good for wallpapers. None of them really fit the bill.
I got a buddy that owes me some sketches. I should ask him to draw her cosplaying as Miku and saying "T-this is pretty much all i'm good for"
>You attach SUPERIOR NIPPON KATANA THAT WAS FOLDED OVER 1 MIRRION TIMES to ERECT PENIS
>You try to SLICE AN OPENING in the door
>Your SUPERIOR NIPPON KATANA THAT WAS FOLDED OVER 1 MIRRION TIMES doesn't seem to be sharp enough to SLICE AN OPENING in the door. It did produce some loud noises though
>You hear a rumbling voice getting close to your door
>You hear a man's voice SAID: "%ANON% get dressed and get out of the room NOW!"
>You start to feel dizzy and uncomfortable
original text adventure guy here
what the FUCK
Your work is amazing dude!
We need more cute old computer tans
>Amstrad-tan is a crocodile monstergirl
>You try to BECOME UNDIZZY and COMFORTABLE
>You successfully BECOME UNDIZZY and COMFORTABLE
>You try to SLAP a BITCH
>You can't find a BITCH
>The voice behind the door is getting angrier: "You have 1 MINUTE before I break this door!"
>Your urge to SLAP a BITCH increases
>You need to SLAP a BITCH right now!
>You SLAP your RIGHT CHEEK with full force
>Your right cheek burns!
>You find yourself on the floor
>Your have a really bad headache!
>You try to PRAY to ATHEIST JESUS for HELP
>Your feel DIVINE
>The SUPERIOR NIPPON KATANA THAT WAS FOLDED OVER 1 MIRRION TIMES starts to vibrate
>Your PENIS is getting BIGGER
>Your DAD burst into the room
no, it should be another variety deformed freak
THE CURSE IS OVER
SUNLIGHT HAS RETURNED TO THE WORLD