What's the most fucked up thing you remember from this show?
And I don't just mean allusions and vague references to smoking weed, vandalism or even cooking meth, I mean what's the worst thing that actually happens on the show?
I remember charting out the reruns so I could fap to this episode when it came on
It was a simpler time, the early 2000s
>waste time making something that already exists over simply asking people nicely
You sound like the type of person who couldn't ask a bank teller for a pen.
Why did such a "poor" family have an en suite anyway.
And scented baths. Fucking luxiourious if you aks me.
Loved how all of hals friends were wealthy succesful black men.
they were a seven member family living in a 2 bedroom 1 bath house
the bathroom was connected to both rooms and the hallway, not exactly fancy anon
also i think its established that their mom likes to take scented baths, so she probably splurges on some shit for it
my question was always that in some episodes you see that have a fancy sitting area with nicer couches on the otherside of the house away from the tv area, why the fuck would a poor family have a sitting area and why the fuck would they not have converted it to a spare room
The scene where the whole family gang rapes Lois is pretty fucked up, but let's be honest; bitch had it coming.
I just wish we didn't have to see close ups of their faces for literally every single orgasm.
The bowling episode was god tier.
Definitely jerked off to this one.
How about when dewey sells off all of the families possesions in reeses' garage sale just to prove a point. Wow way to shoot yourself in the foot there champ.
>And why does a stop sign have 8 sides
>A little too close to the number of judges on the supreme court for this american
That was actually pretty creative.
>tfw grow up watching MitM
>tfw had biggest boyhood crush on Cynthia
>tfw Cynthia got tits at the height of my puberty
They dated for a good year, I think
god i remember hating those neighbors with a passion
what a cunt that mother was, and her kids needed to get their teeth smashed in
and whats worse is they barely got any retirbution against them
that only happened once anon
and it was the pilot episode
i did like how they showed the family running aorund in their underwear at home. thats how lower class people get comfortable
Goldblum has ridiculous sex appeal which I can at least see. He's a pretty cool, suave guy. The girl I've been banging lately has this fucking obnoxious thing for Larry David, says he's sexy and that she wants to be his wife. Then she asks me if I think she's crazy.
Honestly the most fucked up thing about the show was the pessimistic and unsolvable attitude regarding the problems of the family.
The ending outright says "It's horrible shit forever and you can't away from it no matter what".
It really hits you hard if you come from a dysfunctional family. There where many jokes at which I couldn't laugh because they were too real.
i could've sworn i made other MitM webms
i'll be back with the top one
>The last name of the family has been revealed only twice in the show, in Malcolm in the Middle: Pilot (#1.1), where Francis wears the name tag "Wilkerson" on his school uniform (it can be seen best in the scene where he is talking with his family on the phone).
Wasn't that bad, him learning his gf didn't actually care for him, only his attention was worse. Or Reese accepting Malcolm stealing his gf and not kicking his ass, just joining the army. It's part of growing up that hit you right in the feels.
Just watched this episode.
Francis and Ida have the best bants.
>I dont care if you knew the end of that star trek episode, I didnt and you ruined it, you cant let anyone else be happy.
You missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye.
When the earth folded in on itself.
And said "Good luck, for your sake I hope heaven and hell
are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath."
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?
>it's another lois screams and acts like a turbo bitch episode
No, that was when they were still in that nerd class, maybe her second appearance or first. When she didn't want Malcolm to go to military school (his first freshman day) she said he wouldn't have sex with him again (to give him cred).
>that episode where the boys are girls instead
>It's a Francis is wrong and will never take responsibility for his own actions episode
The guy reminded me so much of my older brother at that age, self righteous douche who thinks he's never wrong
>theres a cardboard nigger in lois's workplace holding a mop named slappy or smth
>lois finds it racist
>hals friends dont give a shit
>stevies dad looks the same
>they just laugh at it
Is this literally the only show where they dont make race a thing? Like they dont even call stevies family black ever. They are just people with fucked up family problems like everyone else. No black jokes, no white jokes, no stereotypes. I really cant think of any other show which has done that.
>tfw i always felt this and watched he show because it was so much like home
There are a few racial jokes, most of them mentioned in this thread.
>group thinks hal is racist but he says they're giving him a hard time because they're... more affluent than he is
>black dudes keep ida away from the neighborhood
>black dudes kidnap hal to give him a dental crown he needs, duct tape and everything, cop stops him, they explain the whole far-fetched sequence of events, cop believes them
>Von Bargen suffered from diabetes, and, at the time of his death, had been living with one leg amputated. Due to have toes amputated on the other foot, he reportedly did not want to submit to another surgery.
>"you and your poker buddies all ganged up on me because im not a professional"
>"you and your doctor friend and your lawyer friend and your dentist friend. you decided its okay to skin a guy just because he is a working stiff."
watching it atm fäm. great shit
Also anyone remember that episode where they stay on a billboard and spout feminist shit? That episode was weird as fuck but I liked the ending.
Oh right I forgot that.
I missed a lot of episodes from the last season.
best episode is the family reunion
>Hal, this isn't funny. That behavior isn't acceptable.
> You're right. Boys, the next time you drive a golf cart over a catered lunch and into a swimming pool there will be consequences.
every time the boys stood up for lois made me feel good. They fight all the time, but its family and you have to stick together.
>they get into fight with clowns when its lois birthday
>tfw the bowling episode made me doublecheck and question every little decision i made, thinking about the different consequences
>They fight all the time, but its family and you have to stick together.
>dat episode reese gets pranked into thinking he has a secret admirer
>lois gets revenge
the best episode of the last season
>I'm better than you lady, I have a bigger house, a nice car, and probably make more than you do in a year!
>ooh big whoop you're a drug dealer, so what
>OOOOGA BOOOOGA BOOGA!!
I cant remember the details but i remember Lois fucked up Malcoms future in the very last episode by rejecting him a life of comfort so he could work and fulfill her fantasy of him being the fucking president
that made me mad shaking my head
still made me recoil in anger
Another fucked up moment would be where Malcom was given the opportunity to fuck a girl in his school and was given a condom on screen, and she was laying there nearly passed out waiting for it. Pretty sure they were underage as well, which only adds to the fucked up part about it
>10 years from now, Malcolm will be 35.
>MitM rebooted with Malcolm as president of the US
>Lois is still domineering even though Malcolm is the fucking president
>Reese causes scandals that Malcolm has to cover-up.
>Dewey is a concert pianist who is resentful that Malcolm gets more attention.
>Hal antics living at the white house.
>Francis bumming off his brother's success.
>Stevie is Vice-Pres.
>Doesn't have any record kind of disqualify you?
>Doesn't have any record kind of disqualify you?
No, that sounds retarded. Obama got busted for smoking pot in college and I'm pretty sure Bush Jr. has a couple DUI's on his record.
the best part is the mom asked dewey what her son liked for the theme of the party and dewey picked cowboys because he liked them.
I'm not sure if it was a real episode or not since I was on acid when I saw it.
Anyway it was purposely fucking weird, one of the last episodes I think.
Dewie was god or something and there was a bit involving an aeroplane.
Waste of dubs. Either a teen who gets dragged to church or the white buffalo of adults who actually go to church. I'm latino and not even half of the people I know go to church, and we're known for being catholic.
White people normal is getting a credit card and paying for shit you can't afford with credit, and complaining about minorities. Church is rare.
>I'm latino and not even half of the people I know go to church
I hope you're joking, I live in Mexico and literally 80% of people go to church. And we have a church at least every 9-10 blocks
I have a green card and aren't that poor anymore. My grandmother and aunt go to Cavalry Chapel, but apart from them unless someone dies they probably won't go to church. Santa Ana represent primo.
>not loving francis
>malcom over reese
>dewie the meme loving fuck.
Daily reminder that even in the 19th century nudity among families in lower class familys was nothing special or uncommon, parents even used to fuck in the same room where their children slept.
Also family nudity, for example seeing the other nude in the bath room and so on is really not abnormal in larger familys. Kekking at anxious little nerdbois who are afraid of seeing their family members naked ''b-but naked is evil''
this is the last god damn thing i have from that era....
>tfw the school i went to for the intellectually gifted was pretty much like the krelboyne class
except most of us were interested in one particular subject, not pretty much everything like in the show
Hal > Reese > Lois > Dewey > Francis > Jamie > Hamsterball > Malcolm
when they build the lego city in the living room
Hal, when he intentionally fattens up his wife to fuel his fat-fetish
When Malcolm almost dies trapped in his car.
Also, when Stevie beats up Reese in his roboutfit. Kid was brutal.
>you will never have a gf like cynthia
completely serious, this feeling sucks
The neighbor's white wife fucking a mexishit gardener in the pool at night
Various disgusting jokes or antics the boys played on each other
Christina Ricci getting a tooth pick in her eye ball
>Malcolm sends Francis off to a camp to write a coolness report, because he is leeching off of Malcolm's success but it somehow backfires on Malcolm and ups his approval rating
>Dewey ends up Jewing people out of money by coming up with a phony charity drive to help pay for something which Malcolm fucked up budget wise
>the episode where hal keeps a latino drug dealer tied up in the basement because he's afraid of the consequences if he frees him and he feeds him and keeps him alive for days but then finds out the latino guy is planning to kill him with a piece of a broken plate or something so hal poisons him
it was way too fucked up for mitm. someone please tell me i dreamed that shit
I don't think so. if he had really hit that she would have never done the "I will never sleep with you" thing. + I think it would be malcolmish for him to get with the crazy blond that gets of on danger and daddy issues but never really get things going with the girl he really likes
>He banged one of the girls in
yeah im not saying he was a virgin, just that he did not get with the girls he really wanted.
she does not seem like the type to fall for that
>Implying Lois wasn't right
The finale pretty much made it clear Malcolm was going to president or incredibly successful regardless. If he didn't want to go far with politics then he could've just talked with that guy again and given him that patent. Regardless that family gave so much to Malcolm that he had to give a little back by at least going to college and finding himself.
>Implying that wasn't the point
The chick had literally passed out and Malcolm was contemplating fucking her while she was unconscious and you actually had a problem with that?
Now I'm not a feminist and I think that women who get drunk and fuck randoms should deal with the consequences but that's a far cry from fucking an unconscious chick
do you think her top fell off in at least one of the takes?
she was my first fap. I blame her for my crippling milf fetish. Even still got the first photo i saved of her when i got the internet
>warning: spoiler lewd and low-fi
that happens very often. 1 ep they are so poor that there is no food and in another they are buying expansive shit or going on a trip. they poverty is made to seem like due to poor money management and not the fact they have 8+ people to feed.
Why wouldn't you? Are you afraid you might want to fuck someone in your family if you glance a bit of their junk? It's this pussification of the human body that creates weird groups like trannys and otherkin
>When Stevie gets sweet retribution in the circle game with some crocodile tears against reece
>His fuckin face through the fish tank
It's not discussed much but I swear Malcolm in the Middle has never had anything bad said about it
Their house has small as fuck, it looks big at first, but as you watch more episodes you realize how tiny it is (1 bathroom, 2 bedrooms, small kitchen, shitty garden and that's pretty much it). Also it's stated in a Halloween episode that they got a discount because a guy killed his entire family there.
Scented baths are not really expensive.
But indeed, the point of the show is that they can't manage their money (having 4-5 children doesn't help). Notice how they have a lot of expired food, the fact that they waste electricity like crazy (they let dozens of lights on in the evening) and then complain about their bills. Their big-ass car eats up a lot of fuel too, and they use it often.
>tfw you saw your dads dick as a kid and it looked like the biggest thing ever
I remember seeing my dads dick, no joke even to this day I do not think he was under 10 inches hard. All his football mates used to call him slug because of his massive dick. I actually feel inferior because I'm pretty average desu
Hal makes pancakes but scratches his back with the spatula. Every boy eats in and praises the dad for it as they pull strings of hair out of their mouth. It's the most fucked up thing I've ever seen on television and I haven't watched an episode since.
Most fucked up thing was the episode where Louis enters a beauty pageant and is constantly mocked by other contestants, you end up rooting for her in the end
I would have never have thought to feel sympathy for her in the show
>the episode where the boys "volunteer" at the church and start stealing from the donation center
>"now two poor kids are getting a new shirt instead of just one"
that blew my mind when I was a kid. changed the way I looked at everything.
i grew up seeing my little sisters naked until they finally got self-conscious about it around age 16. was no big deal. i was 18 around then. still went into the hot tub naked all the time
>tfw she didn't actually have big tits in the end
Still hot tho
>Hal and Dewey have to look after Craig's cat when Craig goes away to Comic Con
>Craig rings up and asks to talk to the cat
>Hal starts purring
>Craig says "Give me a kiss, Jellybean!"
>Hal starts making kissing noises
Sorry for the criticism mate, but you made a few mistakes in that comment.
First of all, "he" and "was" should be in the opposite order, and I don't see why you had to put that question mark there, guess you miss-clicked.
>he girl I've been banging lately has this fucking obnoxious thing for Larry David, says he's sexy and that she wants to be his wife. Then she asks me if I think she's crazy.
are you dating j-law? dump her crazy ass!