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Hal in the Middle
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You are currently reading a thread in /tv/ - Television & Film

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What's the most fucked up thing you remember from this show?

And I don't just mean allusions and vague references to smoking weed, vandalism or even cooking meth, I mean what's the worst thing that actually happens on the show?
>>
I was surprised at that episode where dewey smoked like 3 packs a day
>>
>>65129514
or the one where he is left alone, watches American History X, and it becomes very suspenseful when Stevie is around
>>
Seriously when their neighbours house is destroyed and he has to live with them and he's a fucking nightmare
>>
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I remember charting out the reruns so I could fap to this episode when it came on
It was a simpler time, the early 2000s
>>
When him and his dad go to Japan and discover the mutos and godzilla.
>>
>>65129436
the episode when he sucked deweys winer, that was to far in my opinion ima (I MusT Admit )
>>
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>>65130432
>>
>>65129436
The one with the strap-on. WTF were they thinking
>>
I don't know, I never watched Doogie Howser
>>
>>65129436
When Hal became a drug lord.
>>
The only things I remember are the opening, the military guy with one hand and an episode where a firework was so powerful it turned night into day.
>>
>WE HAVE ASBESTOS IN OUR CEILING
>WE HAVE ASBESTOS IN OUR CEILING
>WE HAVE ASBESTOS IN OUR CEILING
>>
>>65129436
Craig having stuff of lois under his bed
>>
I FORGOT YOUR MOTHERS BIRTHDAY
>>
>>65130613
>Not when Craig was wheel chair bound and a monkey skullfucked him in front of Lois
>>
>>65130557
The visual gag for that firework worked pretty well imo.
>>65130613
Craig was a fun character too.
>>
The one where Malcolm gets cucked by francis friends. Like she legit gets a train run on her.
>>
>>65130613
Oh shiiiiiit this

>those creepy dolls of her
>a little Louis doll and Craig doll getting married
>>
All the times Reese's actor played a scene without a shirt.

You just KNOW he was the one that got molested the most.
>>
>>65129436
Hal smacks some random lady's ass thinking its Lois.
>>
That episode where Malcolm was a spy and constantly made Paul Giamatti's life a misery
>>
>>65130399
>those hips
>that tummy
Hnnnng
>>
>>65131299
Someone post the webm of her friend undoing her bikini top
>>
>>65131463
I don't have it but now require it
>>
>the monkey trying to kill Craig
This was scary as fuck.
>>
>>65131463
>>65131709

1. torrent the episode
2. you make it

stop begging for hand outs your whole pathetic life and actually contribute something you piece of shit
>>
>>65131889
:^(
http://youtu.be/FQipdWaY46I
This is the scene
I can webm it in higher quality when I get off work :^(
>>
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>>65132036
>malcom wilkerson
What
>>
>>65131889
>download episode
>make webm
>waste time making something that already exists over simply asking people nicely
>handout

You sound like the type of person who couldn't ask a bank teller for a pen.
>>
that episode where Lois made the boys rub her feet
>>
>>65132088
that's their last name
>>
>>65132760
Since when? Even the last episode hid their last name.
>>
>>65132786
look it up
>>
When reese trie to guilt trip the black chick to giving steevie a blowjob while he watches from the en suite.
>>
>>65129436
i remember dewey convincing the morgues around the area to send him every dismembered leg so he could find his grandmas and give it a proper burial
>>
>>65132952
Well shit.
>>
>>65132961
>"I was just about to take a scented bath, is something going on??"
>>
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>>65133037
Why did such a "poor" family have an en suite anyway.
And scented baths. Fucking luxiourious if you aks me.
Immersion broken.

Loved how all of hals friends were wealthy succesful black men.
>>
>>65133129
umm what?
they were a seven member family living in a 2 bedroom 1 bath house
the bathroom was connected to both rooms and the hallway, not exactly fancy anon

also i think its established that their mom likes to take scented baths, so she probably splurges on some shit for it

my question was always that in some episodes you see that have a fancy sitting area with nicer couches on the otherside of the house away from the tv area, why the fuck would a poor family have a sitting area and why the fuck would they not have converted it to a spare room
>>
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>>65130557
>>65130679
>>
>>65133442
love how they just accept that they will be blind for a day or two
"box said our vision will come back in around 24 hours"
"worth it"
>>
The scene where the whole family gang rapes Lois is pretty fucked up, but let's be honest; bitch had it coming.

I just wish we didn't have to see close ups of their faces for literally every single orgasm.
>>
The bowling episode was god tier.

>>65130399
Definitely jerked off to this one.
>>
How about when dewey sells off all of the families possesions in reeses' garage sale just to prove a point. Wow way to shoot yourself in the foot there champ.

>And why does a stop sign have 8 sides
>A little too close to the number of judges on the supreme court for this american

>>65133442
That was actually pretty creative.
>>
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>>65133591
you think malcolm hit that?
>>
>>65133625
Balding manlets couldn't hit a card in a game of blackjack
life is unfair
>>
What about the loosely implied incest between Dabney and his mother.

Or the time pangler took pictures of francis masturbating and then showed them to his class mates.
>>
>>65133625
Wasn't that implied at some point during the high school seasons?

Jeff Goldblum fucked irl tho
>>
>>65133661
In real life, the guy that played Spangler shot himself in the head and survived. Then he called 911. The tapes leaked online, it was fucked up.
>>
>>65133661
loosely implied?
anon they all but showed that bdsm scene during the paintball episode
>>
>>65133669
really?
dammit goldblum im constantly torn between disgust, annoyance, and admiration for that man
>>
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>>65133591
>tfw grow up watching MitM
>tfw had biggest boyhood crush on Cynthia
>tfw Cynthia got tits at the height of my puberty
>>
I seem to recall malcolm creating some sort of chemical weapon in order to get out of performing at a talent show.

That tofu barbeque thoough.
>>
>>65133840
They dated for a good year, I think
>>
Did mitm invent the term krelboyne or what?
>>
>>65133976
hes old enough to be her grandpa
lucky bastard all the same
>>
A B C D
>>
>how about I slap your shit
>>
>>65134116
ABCD
ABCD
ABCD
>>
>>65134058
it's based of Little Shop of Horrors so no.
>>
>>65134103
he was having sex with a 20 year old olympic gold medalist last I seen.

lucky dude I bet she thinks of her dad while he does her.
>>
>>65129436
It used to turn me on when the mom would answer the door to anybody while topless.

MMMMMMMILFY
>>
>>65134162
god i remember hating those neighbors with a passion
what a cunt that mother was, and her kids needed to get their teeth smashed in
and whats worse is they barely got any retirbution against them
>>
>>65134216
that only happened once anon
and it was the pilot episode
i did like how they showed the family running aorund in their underwear at home. thats how lower class people get comfortable
>>
>>65134188
Goldblum has ridiculous sex appeal which I can at least see. He's a pretty cool, suave guy. The girl I've been banging lately has this fucking obnoxious thing for Larry David, says he's sexy and that she wants to be his wife. Then she asks me if I think she's crazy.
>>
>>65134188
so goldblum confirmed for giant cock then?
>>
>>65134272
Larry David's a funny guy. And balding is a sign of high testosterone.
>>
>>65134272
tell her yes
chicks love honesty anon, im sure you will get laid because of it
>>
>>65134330
thats just what they tell bald people. Just like fat people think they will live longer if zombie out break happens because 'they have more fat to live off of"
>>
>>65133591
mfw Cynthia never appeared in another episode
>>
>reese glues thumb tacks onto his knuckles
>punches malcolm in the face
that always seemed a bit too extreme for me even for reese
>>
>>65129567
i dont remember that, what episode?
>>
>>65135475
Wait wtf really? Know which Ep?
>>
Honestly the most fucked up thing about the show was the pessimistic and unsolvable attitude regarding the problems of the family.

The ending outright says "It's horrible shit forever and you can't away from it no matter what".

It really hits you hard if you come from a dysfunctional family. There where many jokes at which I couldn't laugh because they were too real.
>>
>>65133840
Goldblum truly is a unique breed of man.

You need to be of a league of your own, to inspire people into making shit like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iPPoKz2GzA
>>
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i could've sworn i made other MitM webms
i'll be back with the top one
>>
>>65129436
the most fucked up thing was when that gang of niggers were playing poker with Hal. They wanted us to believe every single one of them were high paid professionals.

haha
>>
>>65136347
>>>/pol/
>>
>>65136347
>that episode where that gang of niggers gangbang Louis' mom while she gives birth
>>
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>>65133591
was she really 14?
>>
>>65136682
mamma mia
>>
>>65136347
this. top fucking kek

>>65136369
>>>/lgbt/
fuccboi
>>
How about the episode where Lois' crazy german mom is marrying that asian dude she had been drugging. That was pretty fucked up.
>>
>>65136682
Now THIS was the show everyone needed to see during puberty.
>>
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>>65133591
>>
>>65132786
>The last name of the family has been revealed only twice in the show, in Malcolm in the Middle: Pilot (#1.1), where Francis wears the name tag "Wilkerson" on his school uniform (it can be seen best in the scene where he is talking with his family on the phone).
>>
>>65130432
>>
>>65129436
The one where Malcolm says fuck you to his dad
>>
>>65133774
holy fuck..................
...
>>
>>65136297
>halbird
lmao
>>
>>65133537
>not jerking it to Hilary Duff when she was fat
>not staying up past 9pm to see those Dead or Alive xbox commercials
>not staying up late for cinemax softcore
>>
>>65138052
>friday nights in Canada, around 9 oclock
>tfw watching actual porn on Showcase
having the house to myself felt fucking fantastic
>>
When Francis cut off the general guys only hand
>>
>>65133591
>tfw cynthia will never be your gf
End it pham
>>
>>65138204
Wasn't that bad, him learning his gf didn't actually care for him, only his attention was worse. Or Reese accepting Malcolm stealing his gf and not kicking his ass, just joining the army. It's part of growing up that hit you right in the feels.
>>
>>65133774
>mfw this is true
>mfw i have no face
>>
>>65133024
Just watched this episode.
Francis and Ida have the best bants.
>I dont care if you knew the end of that star trek episode, I didnt and you ruined it, you cant let anyone else be happy.
>>
>>65133659
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TPhnOKmhbBw

You missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye.
When the earth folded in on itself.
And said "Good luck, for your sake I hope heaven and hell
are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath."
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?
>>
>>65135244
She appeared in one after that, their first day of high school. She claimed her and Malcolm had sex to help his reputation
>>
>>65133129
When Hal blasts them after the whole build up of them thinking it's about race
>You hate me because I'm MIDDLE CLASS
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr6Xtbs0c7c

this song has too much feels especially the cynthia bit
>>
>>65133442
Is that a white phosphorus flare?
>>
>>65136347
What was the best was when they tried to scare the grandma out of the house with the fact they were black
>>
>>65138439
wasnt the cythia tries to throw a party episode after that?
>>
>>65133953
There's one party where Malcolm accidentally made Chlorine gas instead of invisible ink as a lil toddler
>>
>it's another lois screams and acts like a turbo bitch episode
>>
>>65138485
No, that was when they were still in that nerd class, maybe her second appearance or first. When she didn't want Malcolm to go to military school (his first freshman day) she said he wouldn't have sex with him again (to give him cred).
>>
>>65137879
Best part is when Hal writes up like 50 pages of insults and forces Malcolm to look him in the eye while he says them. What a dad
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>>65138485
That was before I think
>>
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>that episode where the boys are girls instead

Renee, hnnngggg
>>
>It's a Francis is wrong and will never take responsibility for his own actions episode
The guy reminded me so much of my older brother at that age, self righteous douche who thinks he's never wrong
>>
>>65129567
>or the one where he is left alone, watches American History X, and it becomes very suspenseful when Stevie is around
i think you make this one up
>>
>>65138440
>>You hate me because I'm MIDDLE CLASS
>middle class
>>
>that episode where reese is going to travel to china in a box to beat up his chinese pen pal
>dewey holds him in a garage
>lois finds out
>"just make sure he doesnt die"
>>
>they try to find the grandmas weakness
>fucking Stevie's dad pops into frame
top kek
>>
>>65138581
Holy fuck I forgot about this one. I want to watch it.
>>
>>65138857
>theres a cardboard nigger in lois's workplace holding a mop named slappy or smth
>lois finds it racist
>hals friends dont give a shit
>stevies dad looks the same
>they just laugh at it
Is this literally the only show where they dont make race a thing? Like they dont even call stevies family black ever. They are just people with fucked up family problems like everyone else. No black jokes, no white jokes, no stereotypes. I really cant think of any other show which has done that.
>>
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>>65136124
>tfw i always felt this and watched he show because it was so much like home
>>
>>65139008
early community was like dat
>>
>>65139008
There are a few racial jokes, most of them mentioned in this thread.
>group thinks hal is racist but he says they're giving him a hard time because they're... more affluent than he is
>black dudes keep ida away from the neighborhood
>black dudes kidnap hal to give him a dental crown he needs, duct tape and everything, cop stops him, they explain the whole far-fetched sequence of events, cop believes them
>>
>>65133774
>In real life, the guy that played Spangler shot himself in the head and survived. Then he called 911. The tapes leaked online, it was fucked up.
>>
>lois takes reese to dancing lessons
>reese has to dance with old people
>"its just like touching a dead person"
ayy lmao
>>
>>65139037
>be poor
>have shit childhood with 2 brothers
>grow up on Malcolm on the Middle
>"welcome to the rehab experience, see you in a decade"

It helped me cope with my shit.
>>
>>65138794
What's the line again? I forget, is it working class?
>>
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>>65139156
>Von Bargen suffered from diabetes, and, at the time of his death, had been living with one leg amputated. Due to have toes amputated on the other foot, he reportedly did not want to submit to another surgery.
>>
>>65138588

that ep was real uncomfortable senpai

>>65138784

but hey he turned out ok got a job in alaska and married a hot asian bitch
>>
>>65139292
He got an office drone job and she's native.
>>
>>65139292
>not wanting to bang bitches
>never realizing Frances married an eskimo

I was 16 when it ended, wasn't as gay/dumb as you.
>>
>>65139256
>"you and your poker buddies all ganged up on me because im not a professional"
>-excuse me
>"you and your doctor friend and your lawyer friend and your dentist friend. you decided its okay to skin a guy just because he is a working stiff."
watching it atm fäm. great shit
>>
Also anyone remember that episode where they stay on a billboard and spout feminist shit? That episode was weird as fuck but I liked the ending.

>>65139361

Oh right I forgot that.

I missed a lot of episodes from the last season.
>>
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best episode is the family reunion
>dat climax
>Hal, this isn't funny. That behavior isn't acceptable.
> You're right. Boys, the next time you drive a golf cart over a catered lunch and into a swimming pool there will be consequences.
>>
>>65139523
every time the boys stood up for lois made me feel good. They fight all the time, but its family and you have to stick together.
>they get into fight with clowns when its lois birthday
also
>hamsterball
>>
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>tfw the bowling episode made me doublecheck and question every little decision i made, thinking about the different consequences
>>
>>65139585
>They fight all the time, but its family and you have to stick together.
>dat episode reese gets pranked into thinking he has a secret admirer
>lois gets revenge
the best episode of the last season
>>
My Favorite moment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEKS7O4FMzw

The most fucked up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKYpECibw5c
>>
>>65139715
Se la comieron los gatos
>>
>>65139715
>dat first clip
hal and dewie were the best duo
>>
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>it's an Ida episode
>>
>>65138484
>I'm better than you lady, I have a bigger house, a nice car, and probably make more than you do in a year!
>ooh big whoop you're a drug dealer, so what
>...
>OOOOGA BOOOOGA BOOGA!!
>>
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I cant remember the details but i remember Lois fucked up Malcoms future in the very last episode by rejecting him a life of comfort so he could work and fulfill her fantasy of him being the fucking president

that made me mad shaking my head
>>
>>65139973
And Malcolm agreed after he found out it was always the family's plan for him, because ultimately he's more loyal to his family than to himself.
>>
>>65139973
Every other person in the family knew that its going to happen and were like what, you didnt know?
Dewey was the one was supposed to have a easy life and fast riches.
>>
>>65139715
>Dewey knows more about it than I do
How the fuck where they so good
>>
>>65129567
That didn't happen though.
>>
>>65139996
still made me recoil in anger

Another fucked up moment would be where Malcom was given the opportunity to fuck a girl in his school and was given a condom on screen, and she was laying there nearly passed out waiting for it. Pretty sure they were underage as well, which only adds to the fucked up part about it
>>
When they go out of town and come back early, only to find out their neighbors have been celebrating their absence for years
>>
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>>65129436

>> /thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpwzNU7ywWk
>>
>>65139973
>10 years from now, Malcolm will be 35.
>MitM rebooted with Malcolm as president of the US
>Lois is still domineering even though Malcolm is the fucking president
>Reese causes scandals that Malcolm has to cover-up.
>Dewey is a concert pianist who is resentful that Malcolm gets more attention.
>Hal antics living at the white house.
>Francis bumming off his brother's success.
>Stevie is Vice-Pres.
>>
The fact that both parents were naked around their kids in the fucking pilot. I still don't understand how that got on the air.
>>
>>65140081
How does this not have a bane/cia edit?
>>
>>65132036
>>65132088
How the fuck did I never notice that?
>>
>>65140109
I want this so much
>>
>>65133349
Because the front door was right there you fucking dork.
>>
>>65140109
More like he never becomes president at all because that was a fucking pipe dream. Didn't he get arrested in one episode as well? Doesn't have any record kind of disqualify you?
>>
>>65140165
>that episode where they discover where they have extra bathroom in a closet full of junk
>>
>>65140127
>The fact that both parents were naked around their kids in the fucking pilot.
My parents are naked all the time dude do you live in a WASP household or something.
>>
>>65140198
spotted the inbred
>>
>>65140109
Malcolm will be 35 in 5 years.

That honestly freaks me out. I always thought I was around Frankie's age.
>>
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>>65140177
>Doesn't have any record kind of disqualify you?
>>
>>65140109
Please please please
I want any excuse to see Cranston be goofy again
>>
>>65140198
this, i never got why nudity whitin the family household is seen as a big deal in tv
>>
>>65140214
Nah, just a little hippyish.
Fun fact, nudists tend to be socially and fiscally conservative.
>>
>>65140198
>>65140238
Normal people don't get nude in front of their kids.
>>
>>65140265
Normal people don't have weird body issues dude.
>>
>>65140265
I still see my mother's tits almost every day. I'm 25.
>>
>>65140293
yes they do.
>>
>>65140177
>Doesn't have any record kind of disqualify you?
No, that sounds retarded. Obama got busted for smoking pot in college and I'm pretty sure Bush Jr. has a couple DUI's on his record.
>>
>>65140265
you got a lil willy or some deformity senpai? why so embarrased
>>
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>>65140081
the best part is the mom asked dewey what her son liked for the theme of the party and dewey picked cowboys because he liked them.
>>
>>65140109
Frankie Muniz is currently 30 years of age.

He started on MitM 16 years ago when he was 15 years of age.
>>
>>65140265
>>65140321
>>65140330
>getting naked around kids is normal
classic /tv/.
>>
>>65140376
Man he looked like prepubescent or some shit you sure he was 15.
>>
>>65140401
He was born in 85, MitM premiered in 2000.

I'm young but I feel old.
>>
>>65138841
"He won't send me illegal fireworks or have my Nunchuks signed by the emperor!"
>>
>>65140377
>being this christian

I bet you have a circumcised dick too you white-bread faggot.
>>
I'm not sure if it was a real episode or not since I was on acid when I saw it.

Anyway it was purposely fucking weird, one of the last episodes I think.

Dewie was god or something and there was a bit involving an aeroplane.
>>
>>65140504
I only saw a bit of it and started laughing hysterically, so my mom bitchslapped me.
>>
>>65140504
>>65140534
what the fuck
>>
>>65140450
>white
>christian
so... normal?
>>
>>65140577
Waste of dubs. Either a teen who gets dragged to church or the white buffalo of adults who actually go to church. I'm latino and not even half of the people I know go to church, and we're known for being catholic.

White people normal is getting a credit card and paying for shit you can't afford with credit, and complaining about minorities. Church is rare.
>>
>>65140661
>I'm latino
your opinion is worthless.
>>
>>65136682
God damn her thighs and hips are unreal.
>>
>>65140661
>I'm latino
I'm not calling you faggot for being latino, I'm calling you a faggot for pointing out your race on 4chan.

Faggot.
>>
>>65138460

It's just movie magic. They edited a daytime and nighttime shot together.
>>
When Malcolm has the chance to have sloppy drunk sex but pussies out
>>
That episode where Lois gets drunk and lets all 3 boys fuck her in all 3 holes.
>>
>>65140661
>I'm latino and not even half of the people I know go to church
I hope you're joking, I live in Mexico and literally 80% of people go to church. And we have a church at least every 9-10 blocks
>>
>>65140805
I have a green card and aren't that poor anymore. My grandmother and aunt go to Cavalry Chapel, but apart from them unless someone dies they probably won't go to church. Santa Ana represent primo.
>>
Hal > Dewie >>>> Malcom > Reese >>> Lois >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Francis.
>>
>>65140805
Churchs being EVERYWERE is true but not that many people go to church hermano
>>
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>>65140998
>not loving francis
>malcom over reese
>dewie the meme loving fuck.
>>
>>65141297
Hal and dewie plots were always the best.
>>
>>65139715
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEKS7O4FMzw
how shit these scenes are not on the episodes from the torrents
>>
>>65140265
>Normal people don't get nude in front of their kids.
do you fap to them?
>>
>>65140716
thanks anon
>>
Daily reminder that even in the 19th century nudity among families in lower class familys was nothing special or uncommon, parents even used to fuck in the same room where their children slept.

Also family nudity, for example seeing the other nude in the bath room and so on is really not abnormal in larger familys. Kekking at anxious little nerdbois who are afraid of seeing their family members naked ''b-but naked is evil''
>>
>>65140439
>85 was 31 years ago
>>
>>65141819
Why would you want to be naked in front of your family?
>>
>>65141819
>being this much of a degenerate
>>
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>>65142016
>>
>>65142016
>31 was 85 years ago
>>
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>>65133591
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iTtNKZsIRo
>>
>>65134234
Hal and the other dad's friendship was cute as fuck
>>
>>65133591
>best secondary character in the show
>only appears in like 5 episodes

>tfw no childhood sperg gf
>>
Anyone remember the episode where Hal takes a picture of a sleeping nude Lois.

That actually happened
>>
>>65142380
>implying it's wrong at all
It's his wife
>>
>>65142392
It's literally rape.
>>
>>65142399
You can't rape your wife. It's physically impossible.
>>
>>65142100
>>65142100


this is the last god damn thing i have from that era....
>>
>>65138410
My nigga.
Seen them live back in September. Good show.
>>
>>65132088
>What
Seconded
>>
>>65134188
>>65133976
Confirmed for gold
>>
>>65140109

simpsons did it simpsons did it
>>
>>65136682
I remember watching this episode
>>
RIP Dewey
>>
>>65130613

>tfw you thought he was called Greg because Americans apparently can't pronounce Craig
>>
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>tfw the school i went to for the intellectually gifted was pretty much like the krelboyne class

except most of us were interested in one particular subject, not pretty much everything like in the show
>>
>>65133774

>They replace his head with another hook
>>
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>>65140998
Hal > Reese > Lois > Dewey > Francis > Jamie > Hamsterball > Malcolm
>>
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>>65141360
when they build the lego city in the living room
>>
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>>65129436
Hal, when he intentionally fattens up his wife to fuel his fat-fetish
>>
>>65143515
I love how Hal tries to control Lois over simple things.

>that episode when Lois got new soles for her feet
>that mattress matter
>>
>>65140661

That's just American normal, over here our poor just try to drink themselves to death.
>>
>>65140109

>It's a Hal tries looking for Lincoln's lost gold in The White House episode
>>
>>65134271
Nah it also happened in the one when the boys snuck off to the carnival with Stevie
>>
Dewey can speak Swedish irl.


He's one of us, bros!!!!
>>
>>65129436
When Malcolm almost dies trapped in his car.
Also, when Stevie beats up Reese in his roboutfit. Kid was brutal.
>>
>Malcolm as President
>Reese ends up pissing off China and causing a huge scandal which might start WWIII
>That kid who was Reese's penpal from China turns out to be President
>>
>>65144227
man i loved that car in that episode. I wish old junky cars like that were cheap today
>>
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>>65133591
>you will never have a gf like cynthia
completely serious, this feeling sucks
>>
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>>65140759
>>
>>65144340
Who would be Malcolm's first lady?
>>
>>65133537
Anyone else find Lois to be insanely hot? I wanted to fuck her so bad.
>>
The neighbor's white wife fucking a mexishit gardener in the pool at night

Various disgusting jokes or antics the boys played on each other

Christina Ricci getting a tooth pick in her eye ball
>>
>>65144940
Lois inserts herself
>>
>>65143927
oh my god that would be so damn good.
>>
>>65140447

"it all started when he refused to apologize for pearl harbor"
>>
>>65145686

>Malcolm sends Francis off to a camp to write a coolness report, because he is leeching off of Malcolm's success but it somehow backfires on Malcolm and ups his approval rating
>Dewey ends up Jewing people out of money by coming up with a phony charity drive to help pay for something which Malcolm fucked up budget wise
>>
>Hal teaches Malcom to rollerstake
>>
>the episode where hal keeps a latino drug dealer tied up in the basement because he's afraid of the consequences if he frees him and he feeds him and keeps him alive for days but then finds out the latino guy is planning to kill him with a piece of a broken plate or something so hal poisons him
it was way too fucked up for mitm. someone please tell me i dreamed that shit
>>
>>65146513
shut the fuck up you're not funny.
>>
>>65138784
The funniest thing was that at the end of the last season he'd finally gotten his shit together and realised his own weaknesses, but keeps it a secret just to piss off Lois
>>
>>65146588
I amuse myself.
>>
>>65129436
1.when they go to hals dads birthday.
2.toilet seat collection
3.body hair collection/shaving
4.lois controlling too much of malcolms love life
>>
>>65144940
stevie in drag (with robotic legs)
>>
>>65129436
When they raped and killed that old lady while they forced her husband to watch.
>>
>>65133625
I don't think so. if he had really hit that she would have never done the "I will never sleep with you" thing. + I think it would be malcolmish for him to get with the crazy blond that gets of on danger and daddy issues but never really get things going with the girl he really likes
>>
>>65133661
>What about the loosely implied
nah he was just mamas boy.
>>65129436
when hal took sex pics of lois and her kids ended up seeing them
>>
S*CK
MY
C*CK
>>
>>65146790
He banged one of the girls in
>>65130399
>>65136682
>>
>>65146790
>if he had really hit that she would have never done the "I will never sleep with you" thing
I bet he could have got a pity fuck if he threatened to commit suicide
>>
>>65146884
>He banged one of the girls in
yeah im not saying he was a virgin, just that he did not get with the girls he really wanted.
>>65146920
she does not seem like the type to fall for that
>>
I hated Diane with the fiery passion
>>
>>65139409
Thank bruv, love how everything "PC" was dealt with in Malcolm in the Middle, not a big deal.
>>
>>65139428
That episode was great

>Go up on a billboard to see tits
>Mum gets mad
>Pretend it was all for a feminist cause
They punked Lois hard
>>
>>65133129
>Having an en suite is a sign of wealth
>using bath beads/salts is a sign of wealth
Europoors. I bet you call a walk in closet an en suite.
>>
>>65139973
>Implying Lois wasn't right
The finale pretty much made it clear Malcolm was going to president or incredibly successful regardless. If he didn't want to go far with politics then he could've just talked with that guy again and given him that patent. Regardless that family gave so much to Malcolm that he had to give a little back by at least going to college and finding himself.
>>
>>65140037
>Implying that wasn't the point
The chick had literally passed out and Malcolm was contemplating fucking her while she was unconscious and you actually had a problem with that?
Now I'm not a feminist and I think that women who get drunk and fuck randoms should deal with the consequences but that's a far cry from fucking an unconscious chick
>>
>>65147132
malcolm is consistently terrible with people
>>
>>65142871
fucking this
why can't you say Craig properly?
>>
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>>65136682
do you think her top fell off in at least one of the takes?
>>
>lois
she was my first fap. I blame her for my crippling milf fetish. Even still got the first photo i saved of her when i got the internet
>pic related
>warning: spoiler lewd and low-fi
>>
>>65140265
Hahaha people who say this always freak me out
I remember me and my dad used to piss next to each other when I was a lil tacker to help with proper toilet training
>>
>>65133129
that happens very often. 1 ep they are so poor that there is no food and in another they are buying expansive shit or going on a trip. they poverty is made to seem like due to poor money management and not the fact they have 8+ people to feed.
>>
>>65147276
I remeber seeing my dads tiny dick and knowing I was better than him
>>
>Reese finds Lois' journal
>>
>>65142090
Why wouldn't you? Are you afraid you might want to fuck someone in your family if you glance a bit of their junk? It's this pussification of the human body that creates weird groups like trannys and otherkin
>>
>just finished marathoning every single episode
>this thread pops up
Why was the early 00s such a god damn cozy time? The 10's are such fucking shit
>>
>>65144227
>When Stevie gets sweet retribution in the circle game with some crocodile tears against reece
>His fuckin face through the fish tank
god tier
It's not discussed much but I swear Malcolm in the Middle has never had anything bad said about it
>>
POQUITO CABEZA
>>
>>65133129

Their house has small as fuck, it looks big at first, but as you watch more episodes you realize how tiny it is (1 bathroom, 2 bedrooms, small kitchen, shitty garden and that's pretty much it). Also it's stated in a Halloween episode that they got a discount because a guy killed his entire family there.

Scented baths are not really expensive.

But indeed, the point of the show is that they can't manage their money (having 4-5 children doesn't help). Notice how they have a lot of expired food, the fact that they waste electricity like crazy (they let dozens of lights on in the evening) and then complain about their bills. Their big-ass car eats up a lot of fuel too, and they use it often.
>>
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>>65147427
>tfw you saw your dads dick as a kid and it looked like the biggest thing ever
>>
piama tits
>>
>>65147186
He still learns though, he's just a flawed and disgusting human being like everyone else. It was satisfying as fuck watching him punch that fat fuck that spat pizza in his face
>>
>>65147552
>It's not discussed much but I swear Malcolm in the Middle has never had anything bad said about it
its literally family guy the show (you happy now?)
>>
>>65147737
is it still big to your standards now
>>
>'oh my god! women are the cows of people!'
>>
>>65147427
I remember seeing my dads dick, no joke even to this day I do not think he was under 10 inches hard. All his football mates used to call him slug because of his massive dick. I actually feel inferior because I'm pretty average desu
>>
>>65147697
>tiny it is
its bigger than mine.
>Scented baths are not really expensive.
yet I only managed to get 1 packet of honey soup in the last 6 months
>>
>>65147509

Social media and consumerism.
>>
>>65147777
No because I know you're lying
>>
>>65147737
wear you on a beach and did the wind slightly blow back his foreskin? I read it on "real nudist stories" but sounded fake as fuck
>>
>>65147783
N-no
>>
>>65147771
he maybe a jackass but he is still better than all of them.
>>65147798
the truth has been spoken.
>that ep when he has a nightmare about animal court
kek
>>
>>65147815
what was >yfw you realized your mother is only with your dad because she loved getting RUINED by your dads monster cock?
>>
Hal makes pancakes but scratches his back with the spatula. Every boy eats in and praises the dad for it as they pull strings of hair out of their mouth. It's the most fucked up thing I've ever seen on television and I haven't watched an episode since.
>>
>it's a Craig googles 'baby' episode
>>
>>65147552
It's one of the few shows that stayed the same quality throughout, too. Really top tier television
>>
Most fucked up thing was the episode where Louis enters a beauty pageant and is constantly mocked by other contestants, you end up rooting for her in the end
I would have never have thought to feel sympathy for her in the show
>>
>>65148300

don't remember that one pham
>>
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>>65148300
>The bit with the tiaras
>>
>>65148300
Lois is the most sympathetic character on the show. Only plebs dislike her.
>>
>>65148873
>literally held a grudge against her own child his entire life because his dad made him laugh as a baby
>>
>>65148873
>Lois is the most sympathetic character on the show.
No, that's Hal. Lois is the voice of reason, she isn't supposed to be sympathetic.
>>
>>65149053
what
>>
was he literally autistic?
>>
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>>65139523
>tfw Hal's dad is Emmett Brown
>>
>>65129436
When Reese gets a really bad sunburn and starts collecting his peeling skin.
Then Lois accidentally sucks it up with the vaccum cleaner.
Nauseating.
>>
>>65140109
>Stevie is Vice-Pres
>>
>>65140265
i'll take it a step further and say kissing your child on the mouth is fucking gross.
>>
>the episode where the boys "volunteer" at the church and start stealing from the donation center
>"now two poor kids are getting a new shirt instead of just one"

that blew my mind when I was a kid. changed the way I looked at everything.
>>
>>65151351
people actually do that?
>>
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muh dick
>>
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>THAT'S AIR
>>
>>65151438
Great episode, the power walking suits and helmets were fucking hilarious
>>
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>>65151438
>those helmets
>>
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>>
>>65147509
essentially the same level of technology that we have now with none of the internet culture taking over society
>>
>>65141819
i grew up seeing my little sisters naked until they finally got self-conscious about it around age 16. was no big deal. i was 18 around then. still went into the hot tub naked all the time
>>
>>65133591
>tfw she didn't actually have big tits in the end
Still hot tho
>>
>>65140109
>title is Malcolm at the top
>>
>>65151614
GOAT episode.
>>
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>Hal and Dewey have to look after Craig's cat when Craig goes away to Comic Con
>Craig rings up and asks to talk to the cat
>Hal starts purring
>Craig says "Give me a kiss, Jellybean!"
>Hal starts making kissing noises
>"...jellybean?"

>mfw
>>
>>65150853
Sorry for the criticism mate, but you made a few mistakes in that comment.
First of all, "he" and "was" should be in the opposite order, and I don't see why you had to put that question mark there, guess you miss-clicked.
>>
>>65151957
>Hal: We're just looking after the cat while the owner is away.
>Officer: I don't see a cat.
>Hal: We're not doing a very good job.

And they end up burning the house down. GOAT
>>
>The episode where Craig brags about having 480p tv and spends 3k on it in 2003

poor mother fucker LMAO
>>
>>65151769
Holy Cahones
>>
>>65152353
He was some low level position at a Wal-Mart, I doubt he'd be loaded no matter how well he saved.
>>
>>65129436
Fuck this gay ass tv show
absolutely pleb tier
>>
>>65134272
>he girl I've been banging lately has this fucking obnoxious thing for Larry David, says he's sexy and that she wants to be his wife. Then she asks me if I think she's crazy.

are you dating j-law? dump her crazy ass!
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