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>I'm rich enough that I don't...
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You are currently reading a thread in /tv/ - Television & Film

Thread replies: 260
Thread images: 91
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>I'm rich enough that I don't have to just take a dump. I can have the best dump money can buy. I sit on an air-conditioned, heated, solid gold rim, with a champagne mini-bar to my left and and a personal steak chef to my right. Each piece of my shit is flushed with water taken from a spring in the Italian Alps. Each turd is personally launched into orbit by a SpaceX rocket because I want to send out a message that even my shit is miles above what anyone else will ever achieve.
>>
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>I made an investment of 300k in a company called UBER and now I'm richer than I or anyone ever could have possibly imagined.
>So basically I'm incredibly smart and please don't forget about my investment of 300k in UBER
>>
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>This would go great in one of the kiosks by the halfcourt bathrooms. My offer is 10k for 49% and if you look back at Robert I will literally throw this chair at you and pummel your body until my fists crack through the concrete below the floor.
>Wow, great deal. Looking forward to working with you Mr. Cuban
>>
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>>65087498
>Look, your memes are good and I'd really like to have Rare Pepes in my portfolio but unfortunately there's nothing proprietary about your memes and your rare pepes aren't patentable and so for that reason, I'm out
>>
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>It's a great product. I love the product. And I love you! We don't see this kind of energy from our entrepreneurs often. I'd love to make you an offer. My offer is for -

>This would go great in one of the kiosks by the halfcourt bathrooms. My offer is 10k for 49% and if you look back at Robert I will literally throw this chair at you and pummel your body until my fists crack through the concrete below the floor.
>Wow, great deal. Looking forward to working with you Mr. Cuban
>>
Sharkposting is great, 100x better than baneposting, most of the sharkposts are pretty clever.
>>
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>>65087489
>I'm out.
>>
>>65088115
robertposting may be even better than kevinposting.
>>
I just started watching this show.

Its fucking great
>>
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>"In exchange for my offer of 5K for 51% of your company I will give you tickets to tonight's Mavericks game in Seattle. You have 10 milliseconds to respond and if you look away I'll break into your house tonight and hog-tie you in the basement
>>
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>entrepreneur does a stupid dance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEjLrYcSRj4
>>
>>65088880

The very first time I watched this show, this was the episode that was on.

I was hooked. It's just as patently ridiculous as an episode of Jerry Springer, just with fewer ratchet negroids.
>>
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>>65088880
>tfw you go on Shark Tank and your pitch gets the goofy music and concerned facial reactions from the sharks
>>
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>>65088880
Jesus Christ Kevin's face here
>>
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>>65088880
Behold your jew king.
>>
>>65087332
He's literally the new Donald Trump. He's running for head of the Canadian conservative party (republican "equivalent").

>yfw the banter between kevin and trump as world leaders
>>
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>"*Sigh* Now what is your project you 'you' someone."

>"No no no I don't want to hear about these goddamn reviews, I want to know if i'll make money off this scam

>"Ok ok calm down the deal is here. 23% for 65,000? Accept it or will personally smash you into a bloody pulp and piss on your grave.

>"Alright then so it's sea- Wait one second did you just deny? HERE I COME YOU SH-(Kevin hold him down!)
>>
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>>65089207
>You want to sell me these F-35s? Where's the proprietary? What's stopping me from making my own jets and crushing you like the cockroach you are?
>>
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>It's an entrepreneur brings in their stupid fashion accessory and all other sharks back-out and push the final decision onto Daymond episode
>>
>>65088182

nothing is ever better than baneposting, because it's a big meme for you. but sharkposting is probably the second-best out there
>>
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>>65089352
>There's absolutely nothing proprietary about this board. What's to stop me from opening up my own Mongolian shitposting website and crushing you like the cucks you are
>>
>>
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>I'll give you exactly what you're asking for, on the condition that your face is my toilet for a year

wat do tee vee
>>
>>65089817
I think you using my face as a toilet for two years was a fair valuation and I'm sticking by it. Any other sharks have an offer? Mark?
>>
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>>65089370
>Actually, I already am involved in a competing business called Thug-Sponges. Investing with you would be a conflict of interest. So for that reason, I'm out.
>>
>it's a Kevin wants a 15% royalty episode
>>
>In the mountains of Mongolia there is a special ritual that is performed. Me and several other billionaires similar to my stature and wealth all take a ride on a helicopter up to a mountain that is just adjacent to Mount Everest and observe the climbers trying to make their way up the mountain. Struggling. Toiling. Like the ants they are. Then, as they try to cross perilous gorges and steep valleys of ice and snow, we each take turns using an RPG-7 grenade launcher in an attempt to trigger an avalanche. Inevitably, one of us will cause one, scattering the climbers' bodies down the mountain as we toast with our own personal bottles of Goût de Diamants. Right now, I want you to imagine yourself as one of those pathetic climbers, and I am the mighty avalanche, crushing you. Suffocating you. And when I want you to accept my offer of $100,000 for 45% of your company as well as 20% in addition if you ever amount to anything, I want you to think about what will happen should you not accept.
>>
>>65087332
this meme was funny for one day until you morons started going way over the top as well as using cuss words, which is never done on Shark Tank. and for that reason, I'm out
>>
>>65090554
>Shits on Sharkposting
>Does so using quality Sharkposting

POTTERY
>>
>>65089817
make it two years and you have a deal
>>
>>65087489
>>65088512
Geez, I forgot, what did this guy invest in again?
>>
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>>65089094
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>>65090554
>mfw reading this
>>
>it's a kevin talks about his secret society episode
>>
>>65090767

I know it's a meme now but I honestly think Kevin hunts people for fun.
>>
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>It's a "Kevin drops out first and starts narrating what's going on to the entrepreneur" episode
>>
>>65090958
those are the best senpai
>>
>It's a "new age healer comes in to sell a magic pill or bracelet and Cubes drops out immediately and spends the entire segment shit talking him" episode.
>>
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>>65087332
This meme is really forced and not worth it. Tear this thread down and get back to sheeve posting
>>
>>65091566
Sorry kiddo, I guess intellectual sharkposting has gone over your 12 year old head
>>
A lot of these aren't that funny. I've only read a handful that actually made me laugh.
>>
>it's a "Robert gets cucked by the other sharks" episode
>>
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Your product is nice but I have to meet my parole officer in haf an hour, and for that reason I'm out.
>>
>>65092075
lel
>>
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>>65089370

>actually, I don't understand anything you've said beyond "Hello, Sharks" and for that reason I'd like to make an offer.
>>
I like these threads. Shark tank is probably one of the only reality shows that are watchable besides gordan ramsey.
>>
>I'll accept your offer of $200,000 for 15% on the condition that you never give up and realise your dreams so you and the people you love can be happy.
>thanks Robert but I would like to hear from Mark first
>>
>>65092193
You should check out The Profit then. It's a mix between Gordon Ramsay and Shark Tank.
>>
I like your product, and for that reason, I'm out.
>>
These are almost as good as frankposting
>>
You know, your time spent in front of us reminds me of something. It reminds me of a small fishing village near one of the many luxurious mansions i own, all over the world. One night, after a crab dinner and half a bottle of $1000 wine, i decided to take a short walk through the village, as if to live among the common man. As i came upon the beach, i saw a small boat quickly being pulled into the water. Then i heard the struggle of an old man, that had been caught in the crack of the vessel. He saw me and tried to call out, in some language i can't be bothered to learn or even remember. Soon, water filled his mouth and all i heard was bubbles. What i do remember is, as the water swallowed him, and the last glimpse of the boats hull sank from view, his troubles were no longer with his slow, but inevitable fate to slip into the crushing embrace of Poseidon. No, his fate had become much worse. You see, in his struggle of thrashing and screaming to free himself, he had attracted 2 Tiger Sharks. As a fisherman, he had preyed on them for years, feeding his family and scratching out a living, if that's what you can even call it. Now, they had him. He was now the prey. They circled, and nipped, got the scent of blood in the water, and delighted in his fear. Then they simply left him, bloodied and drowning. Afraid. Do you see where I'm going? You are that fisherman, and your business is the ship. I am the shark you attracted. I can end your suffering and buy your sinking ship, just to put more holes in it, so you know who's the shark in this room. Instead, I've circled and wasted your time, as you've wasted mine. I'm out.
>>
>>65092208
I really believe this will happen someday
>>
>>65092208

>I'll make you an offer on the condition that you slow your heart rate down to 20 beats per minute and enter a transient state in which your pitch makes even an ounce of sense.
>>
>>65092339

it did, last episode. Robert invested in a failing business solely because the guy did charity work.
>>
>>65089352
Because your economy is tied to the oil price and your military is so shit it had to take parts out of a museum to fix their planes.
>>
>>65092208
>I'll give you $200,000 for 75% of your company on the condition that all profits are donated to the Mavericks, if you draw breath through your nose in the next 7.4 seconds then I'm out
>sorry Robert, Mark's offer is too good to refuse
>>
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>>65091694
>>
We automatically mounted the machine gun for action. Then like animals we burrowed into the earth as if trying to find protection deep in its bosom. Something struck my back where I carried my gas mask, but I did not pay attention to it. A steel splinter broke the handle of my spade and another knocked the remains out of my hand. I kept digging with my bare hands, ducking my head every time a shell exploded nearby. A boy to my side was hit in the arm and cried out for help. I crawled over to him, ripped the sleeves of his coat and shirt open and started to bind the bleeding part. The gas was so thick now I could hardly discern what I was doing. My eyes began to water and I felt as if I would choke. I reached for my gas mask, pulled it out of its container – then noticed to my horror that a splinter had gone through it leaving a large hole. I had seen death thousands of times, stared it in the face, but never experienced the fear I felt then. Immediately I reverted to the primitive. I felt like an animal cornered by hunters. With the instinct of self-preservations uppermost, my eyes fell on the boy whose arm I had bandaged. Somehow he had managed to put the gas mask on his face with his one good arm. I leapt at him and in the next moment had ripped the gas mask from his face. With a feeble gesture he tried to wrench it from my grasp; then fell back exhausted. The last thing I saw before putting on the mask were his pleading eyes.
>>
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>i know...........several......A-list entertainers that would come in board..... With a simple phone call. And that's why I'm going to make you an offer. I'll give you 65,000 for 51%, and I'll get a huge celebrity endorsement.

Kevin :and who might you have in mind, that i can't possibly get a hold of myself?

>....I'm not at liberty to say, but.... I can... Assure you, he is A-list. And black. At least Mexican. What do you say? Do we have a deal? I'm out.
>>
kevin isnt even a jew
>>
>And I've got a Mavericks-themed sample for Mr. Cuban!
>>
>I just want to say I believe in your model, your pitch was great, and it appears you're going to make a lot of money but you ended your 14th sentence of your pitch with a preposition and started your 88th with the word "and." For those reasons, in addition to the fact that you are a woman, I have to be out. I'm sorry.
>>
What would happen if Trump picks Cubes as his VP?
>>
>>65092438
...all quiet on the western front?
>>
Daymond is literally dyslexic.
>>
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>>65092499
>Calling your potential VP "Cubes"
I'm out
>>
>its a lori trying to sell this shitty product on QVC episode
>>
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>>65092542
>all those insane deals he closed because he meant to write down and offer 15 instead of 51,just because he's half a tard.
>>
>>65090516
>tfw imaging kevin dressed in a suit shooting an RPG off a mountain gives me a boner
>>
>>65092208
Robert's so cute though
>>
>it's a the entrepreneurs are black and everyone casually looks at daymond episode
>>
>>65092408
I can see him doing a Frank Booth "DON'T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT HIM YOU FUCK" about Robert.
>>
>>65088880
Is this the Tim ans Eric's Awesome Show, Great Job! of Shark Tank?
>>
I am a member of a selective and prestigious order known as the Equites el Sesterces. Every 408 days we meet in the catacombs beneath Paris, and follow a secret route through the tunnels leading to part of the underground rail system, a place where the homeless gather for shelter. The tunnel takes us out to a ledge overlooking the shanty dwellings of these impoverished men and women, and from that vantage point one of the 19 members of the Equites el Sesterces is chosen. Each member is required to bring a firearm made no later than 1859, kept in utmost condition by a team of elite gunsmiths and loaded with a single shell containing the an item with a value of no less than 3125 US dollars. The chosen member must then take his firearm and promptly shoot one of the homeless, at which point the remaining members crack open a vintage wine from exactly 200 years before the meeting and toast to the member's success as the other homeless flee in terror. You are not a member of the Equites, you are not even worthy to be the rifle that a member may hold, in fact, you are worth less to me than the homeless man or woman who is shot by the Equites. You are one of the other poor scum who flee from our sight after the first of their kin is shot. You wouldn't deserve my money even if I shot it through your heart from my 1746 Beretta wheel lock pistol, and for that reason I'm out.
>>
>>65090516
Constructive criticism: change Mongolia to Tibet or something, Mongolia does not border the Himalayas.
>>
>>65092231
You should watch your bitch mouth while the men are talking.
>>
love ti
>>
>>65088115
>I'll give $500,000.00 for 2% of your business, on the condition that you have to spend time with me and come to my birthday party

>I'm gonna hear what the other sharks are offering.

>1%, birthday optional
>>
>>65090916
>I know it's a meme now but I honestly think Kevin hunts people for fun.
And why not?

He's already killed numerous peoples' dreams.

reality exploitation television needs to be stopped. Stations need to bring back actual fucking shows with storylines please; why was Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, etc so popular? They were NOT realityshit TV.
>>
>>65087332
I remember him on Celebrity Jeopardy. He was a fucking idiot, and it was obvious that Aaron Rodgers hated him. Every time Kevin opened his mouth, Rodgers would make a face.
>>
>>65092895
>Shark Tank is bad
>breaking bad GOAT series
Found the underage
>>
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>>65092924
>tfw
>>
>>65092924
Wanna know the difference between Kevin and Rodgers? Kevin is out.
>>
>>65092924

Of course Rodgers is good at trivia, homosexuals are great at trivia.
>>
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>It's a Robert gets mad after offering exactly what the entrepreneur wanted but getting turned down for no reason episode
>>
>>65092811
KEK
>>
>classic a-a ron
>>
>>65090450
so every epsiode
>>
>>65093015
> watching some rich faggots complain about bad economic math of poor ideas by poor people trying to strike it rich
> watching a man have his life turned upside down with a terrible medical diagnosis and save it by selling his soul to the criminal underworlds' chemical devil called methamphetamine

One costs money and takes acting skill to make.
The other is Shark Tank, where contestants get to pay the fucking show owners for the priviledge of being bitched out by people richer than they are.
>>
>>65092676
>>
>>65093215
Spotted the yuropoor
>>
nobody here has even mentioned the worst shark
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>>65093215
>>>reddit
>>
>>65093215
You have to go back to reddit anon, I don't know how you got lost here.
>>
Post pitches that automatically make you skip.

>it's a woman/couples pitch
>>
>>65093475
Some of those couples are pretty good to watch.
>we used our wedding money to start this business

>well that was a bad idea, just like this business. For that reason, I'm out.
>>
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>>65093475
>It's a blue collar/redneck with a stupid invention bursts into treats pitch
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>>65093577
>treats
>>
>>65092924
Well Aaron Rodgers plays trivia 3 nights a week at Green Bay's only gay bars.

He only goes to them for trivia, and because of their nice beer. He's not gay stop asking.
>>
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>>65092811
>>
>>65093475
My friends dad went on the show (the Canadian version). He had no business plan or anything he just went there to throw the idea at them so they could do it on their own. It's was exceptionally cringe. Even aileen ripped him a new one.
>>
I don't think I've ever even seen any of these products that they successfully back.
>>
I want Pipcorn
>>
>>65093856
Do you watch QVC?
>>
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Why does Robert always get Fucking cucked by the other sharks?
>>
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>>65093073
>>
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>>65093998
>Robert was the "cool shark" in the first few seasons
>Since Mark joined in Robert is now "the outdoorsy shark"
>>
>>65093856
Just google shit. I googled lots of neat products I saw on Shark Tank and almost all of the companies were doing great
>>
>>65093475
>it's a kids get a slide for their ambition episode
>>
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>close a deal with all sharks
>about to become filthy fucking rich
>mfw your own college professor starts disrespecting the Sharks
>based Robert LITERALLY rips up 200,000$ check in their faces

JUST
(Short version)
http://youtu.be/WDR_WEl4wMg

(Long version)
http://youtu.be/ZgiNN2XzGmc
>>
>>65093577
Fuck you, that farmer was legit. Instead of jewing out and saying he was going to raise the profit margin he sticked to his principles and understood his market. A true fucking hank hill you edgy faggot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rG342W8YH-Q
>>
>>65094111

What the Fuck is an outdoorsy shark!?
>>
Is there going to be another stream tonight?
>>
best shark tank pitch?
>>
>>65091566
why have I not seen this? it is gold
>>
>>65092075
Kek
>>
>>65093999
>>
>>65094318
> being this petty
>>
>>65094318
>do you have a business degree
kek, professors actually believe you need a degree to become rich
>>
>>65094318
>the company is so good, all of the sharks want in on the deal
It sounds like the professor was right; it's worth a lot more than what they offered.
>>
Why does Daymond keep skipping episodes? Does he not believe in the American Dream anymore?
>>
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>>65095123
he just busy dawg
>>
>It's a Mark Cuban goes on a long, homicidal rant about DeAndre Jordan episode.
>>
>>
is Beyond the Tank good?
>>
Is this the only good thing Canada has put out

I think so
>>
STREAM WHERE?
T
R
E
A
M

W
H
E
R
E
?
>>
Kevin O Leary on family feud, followed by a shark tank marathon:

http://instasync.com/r/BigDickBarney

I'll start it once we get 5 or so people. Spread the word.
>>
>>65095441
>another night of shark tank with /tv/
Here we go again.
>>
>>65095441
Meant jeporady, my bad fa mil y
>>
>>65095441
>mfw I've gone to sleep while watching Shark Tank with /tv/ for the last 2 days
>>
>It's two women who ignore everyone else and worship Lori episode
>>
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>>65089207
fuck yes
Can it be a tv show?
>mfw in 40 years all political and military debates and matters are just reality television show
>>
>>65095648
Bonus points if they start crying for no reason
>>
>>65092438

And in that moment, I was out.
>>
you dont get to bring sharks
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>>65092231
Thanks, ill give it a watch
>>
>tfw no ringtone of kevin saying "what is blood"
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiEOd7Ks8xk&index=1&list=LLJgwX_sHl-yxleP0LS4Lx6A

the very best
>>
Can you really get children to work in a factory?
>>
>>65095771
or if one of them is pregnant
>>
>>65093073
Highly underrated post
>>
>>65093856
I ordered a Tipsy Elf sweater and got compliments up the ass about it
>>
>kevin getting blown out on jepordi
>>
What's the best episode, fellow sharkposters?
>>
>>65092482
No but Mark Cuban is
>>
>It's a get harassed for not wanting to get fleeced by the sharks episode

Wish I got a quarter every time one of those Jews said "It's a good deal, you should take it."
>>
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post yfw kevin isn't jewish
>>
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>Listen my friend, I've seen things you wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments didn't make me a single dime. If you want beauty buy some bears in Spain. Forget that, I'll give you cash money, two hundred grand for 70% if you bow down right now. Time to buy.
>>
>>65087489

>muh uber

Does everyone else on the show make fun of him? I've only seen him in a single episode, but I understood the meme instantly, he never shuts the fuck up about his investment in uber
>>
>it's a mark overreacts to a stupid comment and flails in his chair like a retard episode
>>
>>65096245
Fucking kek
>>
>>65096299
He's better than the GoPro faggot
>>
>It's a barbara gets confused and makes a bad deal and makes kevin wonder why she is even here episode
>>
>>65096332
I'm sure the editors love him
>>
>>65093073

10/10 made me exhale swiftly through my nose
>>
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>Four-thousand years ago there was a people called the Phoenicians. They found a way to take sea mollusks, crush their shells, and make purple dye. Because it was such a rare color, everybody wanted purple robes for royalty. These guys would dye the sails of their boats purple and sail into every war zone in the Mediterranean. Nobody touched them. You know why? Everybody wanted the purple robes. Everybody else got killed, but never the Phoenicians. No one else knew how to crush the snails to make the purple dye.

>My point is this: If you had the purple dye that no one else could make, you could sail off and make millions of dollars. But you don’t. Everybody can make a color hair-spray for dogs. And for that reason, I’m out.
>>
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>tfw your canadian and Kevin isnt on your Shark tank equivalent anymore, but robert still is
>>
I want to get into this, what's a good place to watch the episodes from the start?
>>
Who is more "tech", Robert or Mark?
>>
>>65088115
Fucking kek
>>
>>65096592
Just come to the stream f a m, order really doesn't matter: http://instasync.com/r/BigDickBarney
>>
Another shark tank marathon stream when?
>>
>>65096680
thank you bruv
>>
>>65096579
What? He hasn't been on there in years.
>>
>>65089420
Banepisting was always shit, that's what made it great, like the movie it pissed people off that such a shit and unfunny meme caught on, and the angry rants about baneposting were great. Bane posting itself isn't funny in the slightest.
>>
>>65088746
>Mavericks game in Seattle
>an NBA team in Seattle
>>
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>>65096579

>mfw based Kevin is considering running for the Conservative party leadership and potentially PM of canada
>>
>>65090516
>monlia near mount everest
>rpg-7 grenade launcher
shit meme
>>
>>65096772
Can I feel your forehead, anon? I think you might be heating up.
>>
Hey a question, is this show Shark tank good ?
It has started airing in my country so is it worth the watch
>>
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>It's a Kevin runs for the head of the Canadian Progressive Conservative Party episode
>>
>It's a JUST episode
>>
This is the best thread on /tv/
>>
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>What kind of deal do you want?
>>
>>65093073
DAMN thats a good job
i audibly keked
>>
>>65096763
I havent watched since Economics class in grade 12. Like 6 years ago. But these threads made me wanna start again
>>
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I'm going to tell you a story. There once was a boy who lived in the lowliest most disgusting of slums of Canada. Everyday his mother who worked two jobs would scrape together $4.50 for his lunch at school. Once he got to school the bully would pummel him until he coughed up the cash. In the four years he attended that school he never ate lunch once. He would go home battered and bruised and his alcoholic father would beat him over and over again for not being man enough to defend himself. The boy dreamed of a life where he could be free of his tormentors and never want for money. Now you might be thinking "Wow what an inspirational story about Kevin persevering and being determined," but you are, of course, wrong. In fact I was the bully this story. His daily contribution of $4.50 helped fund my first investment. The boy later went on to hang himself in the janitor's closet. You are similar to that boy in many respects. You are a cockroach just waiting to be crushed. And for that reason, I'm out.
>>
>>65094320
That moved me a little
>>
>>65095394
The original show is Japanese, Canada just had the first successful spin off
>>
>>65097175
Expected but a mild laugh.
>>
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>>65097175
>that twist
>>
>Mr. Jameson, I have seen your product like I have seen the sun rise of the dead corpses I stood upon triumphently when I won the Great Skull of Nyet' elphunq. For you to know what I mean you must know what I see. The Great Skull is a skull of one of the acient but sacred shamons that I have killed. Every lunar eclipse me and my associates gather on a remote island with the previous year's shark winners, and when the eclipse begins, we let the shark winners run through out the jungle, armed with only their "wits" and wearing the clothes they were brin in, and just like the past 200 years, I have killed all of them, and won. When you win, you receive the Great Skull, and you can then drink the reguvinating blood from the skull, it tastes of sour soy sauce, that is how I amassed my fortunes and lived for eons. I have lived longer than your feeble mind can comprehend, and of all the products and companies I have seen, yours is the worst, it is absolute trash, but I must say I am in, but so that I can track you and gut you in the next hunting year. I hope you accept my invitation with me and Cubes.
>>
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>>65096210
But he looks exactly like a caricature of a jew
>>
>>65094320
jesus fucking christ /tv/
>>
>it's a Kevin worships Wal-mart and drops all his standards to get his dick in the door episode
>>
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>>65096680
>This video is not available in your country

I didn't wanna watch it anyway
>>
>>65097549
>living outside the american dream
you don't deserve to watch
>>
>>65097175
I think it'd be better if you made Kevin go in instead of out

9/10
>>
>>
You can't handle the investment! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Mark Cuban? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for investments and you curse the Sharks. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that Barbara being out, while tragic, probably saved money. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves money! You don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like "honor", "code", "loyalty". We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "thank you", and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to! And for that reason I'm out.
>>
>As a young child I saw my Mother relentlessly beaten by my Father. I can still recall hearing her muffled screams through the walls of my bedroom as I lay trying to fall asleep. Some nights were worse than others, but I remember the mornings my Grandmother would take me to school because my Mother couldn’t be seen in public. She would wear sunglasses and long sleeve shirts for weeks while the bruising and swelling slowly healed around her eyes and arms. I never understood how something as simple as an overcooked meal or spilt glass of wine in the living room could send my Father into these inexplicable fits of rage; not until this very moment. Not until I saw your presentation. You are the stain on my fathers Afghan rug and I see no club soda nor salt to scrub you away. For an investment of 250,000 dollars I will retain 92% of your company with a lifetime of royalties and if you even for one second glance in Lori’s direction, I will personally crucify each of your children.
>>
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>it's a entrepreneur makes a counter offer to Robert and Cubes jumps in and takes the deal before Robert can react episode
>>
>It's a Robert looks visibly upset and tears up episode
>>
>>65094320
That episode's playing up next, I believe:

http://instasync.com/r/BigDickBarney
>>
>>65093026
Damn he got btfo
>>
>>65096836

>Wikipedia
>The RPG-7 (Russian: PПГ-7) is a portable, reusable, unguided, shoulder-launched, anti-tank rocket-propelled grenade launcher.

Did you think the G just didn't stand for anything?
>>
>>65096299
Dude gets respect from the other sharks and people looking for investments seem to view him favourably compared to the other investors.
>>
>>65089531
Kevin's not even a Jew. He's half-Syrian.
>>
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>>65097881
>half-Syrian
>>
>>65096810
>>65096993
He doesn't stand a chance against the meme master Trudeau. It's 2016!
>>
>>65092307
Beautiful
>>
>>65096772
Baneposting started off as the most absolute forced meme in the history of this website.

For two full fucking years it was nothing but a few (brave) people literally forcing that same image of CIA down our throats to nothing but "FUCK YOU THIS SHIT ISNT FUNNY". But they persevered, knowing that ALL must know the joys of the Master Plan.

And one day, after the 50th time of seeing that same picture of CIA, something broke in my brain, and I began giggling uncontrollably, like a madman that just discovered the entirety of existence was one big joke. And I kept delving deeper into the brilliant inaneness of that entire scene and even started posting it myself. It know is so ingrained into my psyche that the mere mention of large individuals, airline disasters and the Central Intelligence Agency makes me smile.

Remember, we all started off as Hotheads once. Only through accepting Baneposting as your lord and savior can you ascend to true Big Guyhood.
>>
I wish they'd have unedited versions of the presentations
>>
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Is Kevin related to Frank?
>>
>>65098562
It's another top-shelf meme that will never catch on due to wordiness.

So yes, a bit.
>>
>>65098631
Frank posting died off because the character himself rarely did it and season 2 was so shit nobody wanted to keep it alive

Shark Tank is literally the opposite
>>
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all the other sharks are out, there is only 1 shark left

>I'm going back and forth on this. I completely disagree with Kevin about your valuation. I think you are spot on and you gave a fantastic presentation and I think your styles would fit in perfectly with my portfolio but here is the problem I'm having. I am not entirely comfortable with the name of your company "Whigger Shoes" cause to me that sound a little too much like white nigger and so for that reason I'm out.
>>
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>>65097801
>>65097801
>>65097801
>>
>>65098727
>it's a Daymond toys with his prey like a fucking puma for 5 minutes before going out episode
>>
>>65097656
>Canadians can't watch a show where half of the hosts are from Canada
smdh familia
>>
>>65098940
Our basic cable package is mostly American channels
>>
>>65097759
This is why Robert needs his crying couch
>>
NOTORIOUS SON OF AN IMMIGRANT FUBU PATENT
>>
Hi sharks I'd like 200,000$ for 20% equity in my Interracial breeding ground.
I'll spend the money on getting more bulls, and adding a designated prep the bull area
>>
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All streets lead back to Mr. Fantastic
>>
>>65092491
Heil hitler
>>
What are some good episodes to watch? Assuming I'm not going to just start at season 1 episode 1 like a normal TV show I mean.
>>
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>>65099616
What's to stop me from getting my own white women and bulls and crushing you like the pathetic cuck you are?
>>
>>65088880
>how did this idiot make his way into the shark tank
>cuts to kevin
>>
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>When I was a boy, there was a house near mine, just around the block. It had been abandoned for several years - the windows were smashed and the front door was hanging loosely on its hinges like a sad penis of an eighty year old man with diabetes. Sometimes homeless people would stay in the house for a few nights at a time, but they never stayed long.
>One day while my chauffeur was driving me past the house on my way to private school, I saw that the property was surrounded with Caution tape, and there were police cars in front. I heard later that six men had been killed in the house, in some bizarre Satanic ritual. Each of them had been hung by the neck in the ballroom from the chandelier.
>Beneath their corpses, a mess of feces, blood and urine had been crudely painted into a Pentagram. Each of the six bodies hung above a point in the star, and one body hung above the middle.
>The eyes of each of the men had been gouged out, and lay on the floor beneath them (Autopsies revealed this was done while they were still alive) - all except one. The man in the middle was not homeless. He was wearing a rich and expensive business suit, and a gold watch. There was five thousand dollars in his wallet, but no ID. His eyes were never found.
>I learned later that my father did this to this man. It turns out the man in the suit had once done business with my father, and had accidentally overcharged my father's account when calculating taxes, as he round up 0.229% to 0.23%.
>Twenty years later, my father disowned me because he said I was too ruthless in business.
>I will give you $100,000 for 10% of your business, and you have to come to my place for dinner at least once a year. If you betray me, you will understand why nobody crosses Kevin OLeary more than once.
>>
>>65091694
the market is getting flooded
>>
>>65100284
>not patenting your Kevinposts

YOU DESERVE TO BE CRUSHED LIKE COCKROACHES YOU ALL ARE!
>>
>>65099853
All of the women would get impregnated by Mr. Wonderful just by standing in a 3 foot radius around him.

Thats why they have good ole Barren Barb sitting next to him, and Lori the Trap
>>
>y-y-you big bully
>>
>>65100399
I want to gobble Lori's slick willy
>>
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>>65090554
underrated post
>>
>>65090554
Anyone have a link to an archive with the original thread?
>>
http://instasync.com/r/BigDickBarney

get in here
>>
this is lookin to be a great 2016 /tv/ meme
>>
>>65100903
2016 is shaping up to be a memey year
>>
>>65100116
I dig it
>>
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>>65094320
>>
>>65094320
I wish I could get a version of the american sharktank WITHOUT the shitty reality show sound effects
>>
>>65101643
>implying the best part isn't the american editing and sound effects
>>
im glad we can watch this together every night
>>
>>65101643
that is mark burnett's style

the king of reality tv. his formula works
>>
http://instasync.com/r/BigDickBarney
http://instasync.com/r/BigDickBarney
http://instasync.com/r/BigDickBarney

GET THE FUCK IN HERE
>>
My favorite are the ones with Kevin yelling about proprietary. More please
>>
were gonna keep this shit going forever
>>
>>65098717
>>65098631
>>65098562

Caspere knew this.
>>
the memes are dank
>>
http://instasync.com/r/BigDickBarney
>>
>>65098317


>baneposting isn't about posing bane anymore
>baneposting is posting about baneposting
>you're posting about baneposting because of baneposting

This shit is going deep.
>>
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>>65097175
>>
>>65094423

Most sharks live outdoors, fuckwit.
>>
>your product sucks we're all out
>b-but my dad died of cancer and said follow your dreams :'(
>I'll give you a million dollars for 1%
Errytime
>>
I hate /tv/ so much for getting me into this stupid show
>>
Are these actually quotes from the show, or are people writing their own content? In which case I'm pretty impressed to see /tv/ putting work into creative writing.
>>
>its a "Roberts face lights up when free samples are given out or a dog enters the room"
Its like he only does it for free samples and getting playing with dogs

>>65104700
>are these actual quotes
Gee, what do you think?
>>
>>65090043
>Thug-Sponges

kek
>>
>you will never go into business with Robert and fuck Australian dancers together
>>
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>>65104700
>>
>>65096570
but this sounds like something he would actually say
>>
>>65094318
holy shit what the fuck
those guys should have killed that professor
>>
>>65104807
I honestly don't know, I've never watched this show, and even if I did I'd have to sift through the episodes to see if any of them have these quotes.
>>
>>65104807
It's not like he's doing it because he's rolling in deals :^)
>>
>>65093856
When I visited my mother over Christmas I noticed she has like 10 of those Scrub Daddies
>>
This was on Dragon's Den, but I remember some pitch about organizing a spring break festival or something, and literally 2 minutes in one of the dragons (Theo Paphetis?) flipped his shit about "muh minimum wage" "you can't just use workers for free!" "volunteers? what the fuck is a volunteer?" "YOU HAVE TO PAY MINIMUM WAGE I'M OUT".
What the fuck man.
>>
>>65106051
Canada's Dragon's Den had a guy who came in dressed as an old-timey train driver and his company sold bags of small rocks to commemorate the settlers that made the first Canadian railroads. Needless to say he didn't get funding
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Thread images: 91
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