Criticize this movie without using the word "Reddit".

9gag the movie.

>>65028377
it was a remake of mission to mars except without the awesome alien at the end.

also reddit

>>65028377
first third was good.
rest was zzzzzzzz.

how did he get air for 100+ days after his potato farm blew up?

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Unrepresentative. This shit is WHITE.

Youtube comment section: The movie

>>65028377
there is a scene in the movie where Donald Glover drinks his own piss.

>>65028377
>Too many token black actors, playing unbelievable roles.
>Obvious China pandering.

>>65028421
This is actually pretty accurate.

>>65028414
you forgot overwhelmingly male too

theyre probably mainly straight too

straight white males

i cant think of anything more triggering

not enough Chastain

tumblr the movie

You're asking me to describe the color of ketchup without saying red. The Martian is Reddit. Everything about it is Reddit. Period.

>>65028377
Certain memebaits felt out of place like: 'im going to science the shit out of this'.

Jessica Chastain's or Matt Damon's character should've died. Right now it's too feel-good for my taste. It feels like nobody was actually in any danger.

The chinese NASA scene was a deus ex machina. It should've been built up a lot more.

Overall I really liked the movie, though. I thought Matt Damon played the part well and the whole plot was interesting enough. The pacing was right, the shots were beautiful. 7/10 atleast.

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>>65028482

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Did the math
Crunch the numbers
Calculations are correct

Just repeat these phrases if you don't know what to say

>>65028482
you're a fucking cretin if you can't describe the color of ketchup without calling it red. I can spin at least a 50 word essay out of it.

>>65028551
Ok punk, do it.

>>65028551
You have one week

>>65028551
I'm waiting

>>65028377

meme shit

No character arc.
Every single obstacle he faces is pretty much, "I have to do X", then he figures out immediately how to do it. The book was the same way. You never see him break or give up hope, he just coasts through the movie.
You could argue that the focus wasn't on him but was instead 'humanity's struggle' or something, but instead of HOPE and BELEVING it's just a bunch of pop-science shit and lotr jokes.

I enjoyed the movie tho.

The film caters to special interest online communities; nefarious communities.

>>65028377

I only have heard first 5 chapters of audiobook, but it seemed so boring. just describing how he uses chemistry and shit ..over and over.. does the book get better or is this same all the time???

>>65028516
>The chinese NASA scene was a deus ex machina.

I don't think you understand what that is. The probablility is raised in the script that the launch will be unsuccessful due to testing so we know something is going to go wrong. They were showing pictures of worldwide TVs it was pretty obvious the thing was going to blow up and the world was going to help.

Kristen Wiig,every little time she tried to make a joke I wanted to punch her in the face.

>>65028588
This as well, there is no moment of despair, of utter hopelessness, not once does his character ever just consider not trying. Nor consider suicide.

I did still enjoy it a lot though.

Matt Damon is an obvious manlet. it is so clear that he is a little half stump irish fuck when he takes off his suit in one of the scenes (before he is all wasted away) and he has big gym biceps that only make his arms and legs look smaller. total manleto

LOL DISCO SO FUNNY LET'S MAKE A JOKE ABOUT IT EVERY 5 MINUTES

>>65028563
>>65028571
>>65028582
Moody, velvety, voluptuous, intense, vibrant, burnt, deep, lush, brash, radiant, warm, fiery, rusty, crimson, scarlet, tomato, fuck your mother.

>>65028377
Its just a paint by numbers sci fi with no ambition (weird since the director is ridley scott) with some Big Bang Theory tier humor - Matt Damon did surprisingly well though, his best performance ever.

>>65028666

Ketchup possesses the chemical Lycopene which gives it that characteristic colour.

>>65028666
Literally none of those invoke the sense of the color of ketchup except for crimson and scarlet, which LITERALLY MEAN OF A RED COLOR

>>65028731
>Literally none of those invoke the sense of the color of ketchup
You use your imagination you fucking dichole. Red is a brash color. Red is warm color. Red is an intense color. Maybe read a book once in awhile.

>>65028377
I watched this in the cinema with my daughter's boyfriend. I couldn't help making small comments to him about bad plot, dialogue, cinematography and scripting all throughout the entire movie. Honestly, I think I weirded him out a bit but whatever. We still see movies together.

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>>65028755
>Hey pa, this ketchup sure is vibrant and rusty :D

>>65028377

im gonna have to meme the shit out of this

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>>65028802
>purposefully conflating everyday talk with descriptive writing.

>>65028802
RUST COLORED KETCHUP IS A DESCRIPTIVE PHRASE THAT WOULDN'T BE OUT OF PLACE IN A FAULKNER NOVEL YOU FAGGOT.

>>65028802
you've been BTFO in this thread so many times it's time you retired from /tv/

>>65028895
Maybe if you're a fucking retard like Benjy Compson

>>65028377
Man stranded on an alien planet, but zero tension.

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>>65028377

>>65028482
Get back to school to learn some argumentation.

>>65028440
> I don't understand what token means

>>65028377

This is obviously /r9k/ the movie, yet a neet would have killed himself after eating all the food in 5 days.

>>65028377
Matt Damon is the main character

>>65028377
Honestly, I enjoyed it, although it got a tiny bit ridiculous when he punctured his space suit and survived without permanent damage for the third time.

>without using the word "Reddit"

Breakin' my balls here...

>>65028377
It wasn't even as bad as everyone made it out to be. I just imagine the protagonist was acting like memelord so he didn't have a nervous breakdown.

It has terrible narrative economy and pacing.

Every single narrative it has comes to an end in 15 minutes once you started it. The message has been said and that's all there is to it.

Rest is just empty of content tech reel of NASA imaginary tech gadgets.

It's pretty terribly paced film.

>>65028482
I have to say, when I read the book during the run up to the film I mainly enjoyed it, but there were times when I thought 'Huh, this really does read like a response to a writing prompt on reddit'. It really is aimed at that audience. (Yeah I lurk reddit, so sue me)

>>65028764
cuck

'Science' used as a verb.

It's the one of the dumbest movies about science I've ever seen. Just a hodge-podge of astronaut movie cliches. I am still incredulous about the acclaim it continues to receive.

Pandering to minorities and millenals, the movie

Well ignoring the plot hole that the whole reason for the movie was because their space ship was about to fall over, yet somehow this spaceship they had sent for future voyages had survived perfectly still. This obviously combined with the fact that Mars doesn't even have storms of such scale due to lack of atmosphere.

But what really grinds my gears is the chinese bit, the scene lasts for like 20seconds and boom everything is fixed. It's like they took 15min detour (of an already long film) for no apparent reason.

>>65028482
Ketchup is the same color as blood

>>65028551
>50 word essay

Thats like 5 sentences lel

>>65028377
reddit isnt a word

>>65028377
some ok science stuff and some funny moments
pretty bland tho and very predictable
wtf is matt damon getting a nomination for, he was passable at best

>>65028377
Just saw this movie. I always like stories about the resiliency of humans. I didn't like some contemporary dialogue in this movie though.

>>65028411
He had an O2 generator in the habitat.

>>65028516
>Right now it's too feel-good for my taste. It feels like nobody was actually in any danger.
I really thought Sebastian Stan's character was gonna die. Glad I thought wrong.

>>65028377
It was ok, I didn't really have anything personally against the movie.

>>65028377
>Criticize this movie without using the word "Reddit".
The Americans are always using the Russians to send them to space, now that the Russians are America's enemies, suddenly they're written out of history, while the Americans latch onto the Chinese.

This is blatant politics that is not based in reality, and should not be used to alienate Russians in America's ongoing Siege of Moscow.

If Trump gets into power, suddenly we'll all do a 180°.

I appreciated the lack of cynicism in the movie.

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>>65028755
>>65028666
>>65028551
you're a cool guy, anon.

>>65028377
It panders to Big Bang Theory fans

>>65030235
>I just imagine the protagonist was acting like memelord so he didn't have a nervous breakdown.
I thought so, too. Him making jokes about the fucking songs sounded like a coping mechanism. It's the least he can do to not break down.

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>>65028377
White washed a character that was Asian in the book.

Fuck the Martian.

>>65033905
DISCO SUCKS DISCO SUCKS DISCO SUCKS DISCO SUCKS

Reddit should be filtered

Book was better, but it still was just ok, not great or anything.

I like that the movie at least got rid of a lot of the really really bad humor the book attempted.

>>65033980
You know you can create your own wordfilters right?

>>65034003
But then more than half the posts on this godforsaken board are hidden
Also filters have interesting results on the posts people make

>>65033958
>White washed
The only unreasonable change was

> Venkat Kapoor
> black

Kapoor is an Indian name, that character was Indian, not a Negro.

It was fun, wouldn't watch it again.

PROS
>Inspiring message of global cooperation
>Matt Damon is excellent
>Supporting cast great
>3D storm was awesome and immersive
>Music is good, and the stuff that isn't good is used for comic relief to great effect
>Great cinematography

CONS
>Several scenes serve no purpose other than to pad the runtime
>Sean Bean and Donald Glover are underused
>Some dumb unnecessary special effects like the readouts on Matt Damon's 2D monitor being 3D for some reason
>A bit of hollow exposition
>A few too-lucky contrivances

I gave it 8/10, would put it on the top 5 of the year.

>>65034060
You would be surprised at how many comments with the word reddit add nothing to the conversation.

Designated shitposting board.

>>65034079
Sean bean is always underused. But at least he survives.

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>>65034063
I can already see how the conversation went when they were changing the asian woman to white.

>"that's why too many Asians, Americans audiences are going to feel uncomfortable"

>"can we change any of them to white? "

>"Uh sure, how about Mindy Park?"

>"brilliant, we won't even have to change the name!"

>"ahahahahahahaha"

>"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

>*evil laughter continues for several hours more*

We need to nuke this whole board. There is so much shit everywhere that people are actually praising The Martian.

>>65034339
Mods hate /tv/. We're getting the /mlp/ treatment.
Which is a shame because film is such a popular and established medium

>>65034238
The problem is that it will also hide the whole chain responding to a post containing the word, and those are sometimes worthwhile

>plastic sheet with some tape can hold tons worth of pressure between void Mars atmosphere and the habitat interior

>>65034456
In the book he used hab canvas, no idea why they made him use saran wrap in the movie.

Actually, the whole hab was canvas in the book, in the movie the only canvas parts are the airlock which blows it's tits off.

>nobody in NASA has ever heard about gravity assist when planning trajectories except that one [HEY LOOK BLACK PEOPLE CAN BE SMART TOO] character

>>65034271
>not killed
>asked to resign instead

>>65034277
I haven't read the novel. So that's why I found her name odd. Mindy Park is such a Korean-American name.

>Boromir doing a LOTR reference

Literally walked out of the movie

>>65034079
>>A few too-lucky contrivances
The whole of the ending was really silly

>>65028377
Reddit is a summary of the film, in order to describe it without the word reddit it's required to break down what a film being "reddit" actually is.

"Quip-centric" dialogue.
"Science is cool xD" mentality. Most of the movie felt like it was taking me by the hand and guiding me through the answers to a pop-science/culture quizz.
"Diversity-hire" cast.
"Feel-good," but its good feels don't feel deserved.

Matt Damon's position is horrifying but he's mellow the whole time, there's no arc, nothing seems to phase him.

>>65028551
>50 word essay

>>65028377

Interstellar is better

it was good, not awesome

Interstellar was the awesome movie.

>>65028446
This nigga gets it

>>65028414
Is that from the actual mission?

i really enjoyed it but i felt like it was 30-45 minutes longer than it should've been

>>65028377
>>65031964
this plus
You don't magically black out for hours from being thrown around like a ragdoll and then your suite has no integrity damage.
How did he produce enough oxygen for an year when he had 18 hours worth of O2 left ?

>>65035306
>Interstellar is better
at being a pretentious piece of shit.