>lowly servant approaches the mansion's sanctum
>roughly fifty people are partying, getting drunk, having a good time
>all of them are celebrities, great looking and wealthy
>"Miss Lawrence, your PR agency ca-"
>"HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU TO NOT DIRECTLY LOOK AT ME?!"
>she throws a wine glass in his face
>the servant maintains his composure
>"Miss Lawrence, the PR agency called. You will have to put out one of those funny and relatable statements by the end of the week."
>"FINE, I'LL GIVE THEM ONE. AND DON'T THINK I'LL FORGET WHAT YOU DID. NO PAY THIS WEEK."
>the servant retreats as Lawrence drops onto her couch
>she snips her fingers and a handsome, muscular manservant offers a plate with a line of cocaine on it
>Lawrence snorts the line in one go and picks up a wine glass
>then she lifts her skirt and points at the area between her legs
>as she's sipping on expensive wine, high on cocaine while being eaten out by a male model, she thinks about how more money she could have if she was a man
>tfw you will never take your heavy drinking habits to the red carpet and get absolutely fucked up with your squad
I want to set the record for highest BAC at the Oscars and I want to share it with at least 4 other people I actually like.
Jennifer Lawrence threads never fail to amuse me.
I know this girl who likes to say similar things, complains on facebook about being lonely and a loser who nobody loves, all the while having a boyfriend whom she cucks on the regular at parties. I imagine J-law isn't too different
>She’s been spending a lot of time on her own in the past few months, ever since breaking up with Chris Martin, whom she had been seeing for about a year. Dating is tricky at this point. “No one ever asks me out,” she says. “I am lonely every Saturday night. Guys are so mean to me. I know where it’s coming from, I know they’re trying to establish dominance, but it hurts my feelings. I’m just a girl who wants you to be nice to me. I am straight as an arrow. I feel like I need to meet a guy, with all due respect, who has been living in Baghdad for five years who has no idea who I am.”
>I feel like I need to meet a guy, with all due respect, who has been living in Baghdad for five years who has no idea who I am
she probably fucked some chad on new years. what does she know about being sad? To a normie fucking only 3 bitches a day is a bad day
SAME JOKE AS EVERY ONE ELSE IN THIS THREAD
OMG IM SO FUNNY GUISE
>inb4 white knight faggot
I have no doubt the opinion of hating her has become very easy and popular after all this bollox in the news
Id rather like her for telling someone they're a cunt
and her perfect asshole
>thanks for visiting me jlaw
no i don't think you understand. I was using the arrow that makes the words green to show that what I wrote after was a quote of what the other guy said. He said stuff in capitals, and I quoted him
>make me a pizza!
the people who write these articles, do they consider themselves journalists? do they go to parties and announce to their friends that they've gotten a job as a journalist?
and who are all you morons that read them, you are doing exactly what the journalists want you to do
Do you think Rooney gets angry when she sees JLaw pretend to be like her
>Kate get papa's shotgun we're going for a ride
yeah, he said capitals. so i did the arrow and made it green so that everyone knew it was a quote, and I quoted his capitals.
I am starting to think it was you who did the capitals all along, mister
>attractive and worth millions, one of the most famous women in the world
>why won't any boys ask me out :((((
This is such horseshit, she's pushing this "haha I'm so down to earth!" shit too far.