ARMOND better than list 2015

File: Armond At The Movies.jpg (57KB, 447x354px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 447x354px

Queen and Country > The Force Awakens

>The visionary Boorman’s memoir/swan song recalls the roots of family, citizenship, and morality, all conveyed in cinematic mythology. The Disneyfied Star Wars replaced pop mythology with fascist marketing, deceiving viewers who are ignorant of the difference.

Güeros > The Hateful Eight

>Alonso Ruizpalacios’s mixed-race Mexico City college students search for their ethnic and cultural roots in the style of Sixties New Wave cinema, superior to Quentin Tarantino’s pointless mashup of spaghetti westerns and blaxploitation movies. By exploiting American racism, QT promotes it.

The Young and Prodigious T. S. Spivet > The Revenant

>Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s coming-of-age fable expresses an outsider’s affection for 20th-century Americana, while Alejandro González Iñárritu reduces the history of the American West to savagery — and Obama-era self-deprecation.

File: Armond Opinion Discarded.jpg (230KB, 800x798px) Image search: [Google]

230KB, 800x798px

Love at First Fight > The Martian

>France’s Thomas Cailley updates the service comedy — social experiment in the military viewed as Millennial screwball romance — but ultrahack Ridley Scott minimizes NASA space exploration as Matt Damon’s solipsism in outer space.

Creed > Straight Outta Compton

>Ryan Coogler reenergizes pop ethnography and Sylvester Stallone’s bootstrap boxing franchise, reasserting that All Lives Matter because all are connected. But F. Gary Gray’s bio-pic about the hip-hop group N.W.A. panders to current social cynicism and valorizes hip-hop culture’s most noxious historical episode.

The Green Inferno and Knock Knock > Mad Max: Fury Road

>Eli Roth’s two-fer made him the year’s wittiest political filmmaker, reviving low-grade genres as social satire — the opposite of George Miller’s craven, violent, utterly mindless spectacular.

The Stanford Prison Experiment > The Big Short and Spotlight

>Kyle Patrick Alvarez experiments with the power dynamics of masculinity, while Adam McKay and Tom McCarthy both ignore race and gender components in films that celebrate white professional-class privilege (via stock-market arrogance and anti-Catholic journalism). Alvarez’s compelling, watchable actors contrast with McKay & McCarthy’s miserably dull all-celeb casts.

Black Souls > Black Mass

>An authentic Mafia critique from Italy’s Francesco Munzi surpasses Scott Cooper and Johnny Depp’s mob-monster Whitey Bulger film. The crime movie Scorsese cannot make vs. the movie Scorsese has made ad nauseam.

File: Armond.jpg (12KB, 173x191px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 173x191px

Macbeth > The Force Awakens*

>Justin Kurzel uses Shakespeare to envision a metaphor for modern political nihilism, a moving, classical reminder of what has been lost to Star Wars infantilism.

>* Yes, Star Wars again. Its menace is no phantom.

In the Name of My Daughter > Carol

>André Téchiné’s family saga goes beyond modish sexual transgression through deep insight into class ambition. Todd Haynes’s dull lesbian melodrama endorses the cliché of 1950s repression (while still favoring the dominant bourgeoisie) to make today’s political correctness seem “smart.”

Sicario > Bridge of Spies

>Denis Villeneuve explores the moral parameters of the U.S. drug wars while Steven Spielberg plays moral-equivalency games with Cold War history. Visionary boldness vs. visionary smugness.

Horse Money > Timbuktu and Arabian Nights

>Portugal’s Pedro Costa owns up to colonial debt in an emotional, visually arresting art film. He humanizes the personal cost of Europe’s immigrant debacle, while Mauritania’s Abderrahmane Sissako, in Timbuktu, panders to jihadist clichés and liberal guilt. Meanwhile, Miguel Gomes’s trilogy, Arabian Nights, reveals Portugal’s (Europe’s) capitulation to G8 and ISIL narratives.

File: Armond U Mad.jpg (56KB, 450x233px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 450x233px

La Sapienza > Ex Machina

>Expat American Eugène Green’s Western-heritage drama, delighting in the ethics of classical architecture, perfectly contrasts with Alex Garland’s juvenile rehash of Stanley Kubrick’s 2001. Adult sophistication vs. teenage sci-fi misogyny.

Appropriate Behavior > Trainwreck

>Desiree Akhaven’s bisexual-identity farce (the year’s most original comedy) was ignored by mainstream-media acclaim for Judd Apatow and Amy Schumer’s hetero-skank privilege.


The New Girlfriend > The Danish Girl

>François Ozon spiritually redeems sexual dysfunction, but Tom Hooper settles for a ghoulish, politically correct tearjerker. Compassion vs. freakdom.

Joy > Steve Jobs

>David O. Russell puts a human face on capitalism in a bio-pic that’s really an American social comedy — the opposite of Danny Boyle’s babbly hagiography, which deifies and sentimentalizes corporate fascism.

A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence > Anomalisa

>In several powerful tableaux, Sweden’s Roy Andersson connects personal anxiety to historical anxiety, while Charlie Kaufman pampers faux existentialism with zombie puppets.

Furious 7 > It Follows

>James Wan’s populist sequel in the Fast & Furious franchise celebrates E Pluribus Unum brotherhood, but David Robert Mitchell’s Detroit-set ruin porn and scaredy-pants narcissism result in the year’s crummiest thriller.

he is so based

I hate Chris Pratt

BASED ALMOND

He makes everything too political.

some of these titles i've never head of and actually sound really interesting
thanks for the thread op

HAIL ARMOND! HAIL ARMOND! HAIL ARMOND!

File: 1372666879102.png (554KB, 634x482px) Image search: [Google]

554KB, 634x482px

>It's a based Armond slays the middlebrow sacred cows of current film review

>>64638723
>>* Yes, Star Wars again. Its menace is no phantom.

BTFO

Only one i disagree with is "The Green Inferno and Knock Knock"

Say what you will about fury road but it was done better then that shlock

>The Green Inferno and Knock Knock
He is truly the king of /tv/ since he clearly has severe autism

File: 1451186934981.png (208KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 480x480px

>>64638764
>Ex Machina
>rehash of 2001

who is this nignog?

>>64640195
>a film with no meaning is good because i liked the special effects

>>64640320
He was established as the Reich's leading film critic by Goebbels in his last act before committing suicide.

>>64638723
>Macbeth > The Force Awakens*
>>Justin Kurzel uses Shakespeare to envision a metaphor for modern political nihilism, a moving, classical reminder of what has been lost to Star Wars infantilism.
>>* Yes, Star Wars again. Its menace is no phantom.

Sicario > Bridge of Spies

>Denis Villeneuve explores the moral parameters of the U.S. drug wars while Steven Spielberg plays moral-equivalency games with Cold War history. Visionary boldness vs. visionary smugness.

Güeros > The Hateful Eight

>Alonso Ruizpalacios’s mixed-race Mexico City college students search for their ethnic and cultural roots in the style of Sixties New Wave cinema, superior to Quentin Tarantino’s pointless mashup of spaghetti westerns and blaxploitation movies. By exploiting American racism, QT promotes it.

The New Girlfriend > The Danish Girl

>François Ozon spiritually redeems sexual dysfunction, but Tom Hooper settles for a ghoulish, politically correct tearjerker. Compassion vs. freakdom.

Fuck yes

Armond seems like a faggot desu

>better than reviews
Sound like something only the most fedora tipping contrarian would do

Also he seems to think he is above everybody else

If you agree with him thats cool but please dont post shit like "BASED armond" just because he has the same opinion as you.

>>64640322
Fury Road wasnt anything special but green inferno was fucking trash made for edgy teens

>>64640386
You're right on the first count, but hereby adjudicated mentally defective on the second, so let's just agree you're merely half-retarded and let it go at that.

>>64638802

What a homo.

>Armond
what kind of name is that?

File: 1353110949455.gif (1MB, 350x262px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 350x262px

>>64640466
>hereby adjudicated mentally defective on the second
Don't you have a MFA program to get back too?

>>64640108
>I've never heard of these movies

Your average Armond "review" reader.

>>64640108
>>64640571
I've heard of most of them, but literally saw none, other than TFA.
I'm the worst quasi-patrician ever, one that never watches any movies, but always plans on watching them.

File: 0511499801.jpg (109KB, 975x643px) Image search: [Google]

109KB, 975x643px

>>64640618
At least you're honest

>ultrahack Ridley Scott
He wrote that? That's more than based.

>>64640618
That's me too brother
My watchlist is huge and it never gets smaller because instead of watching them, i keep adding more

>>64638580
Armond loves Sicario. Best movie of fhe year confirmed.

File: rickjames-ft.jpg (67KB, 660x330px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 660x330px

Voice reading hipsters and fanboys on suicide watch again.

i noticed that no one made any threads about his starshit review.

>>64640552
I'm actually a doctoral candidate in a scientific field, so no.

File: image.png (129KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

129KB, 300x300px

>Armond defending the enemy of cinema himself Denis Villeneuve

What went wrong?
Did he hate Enemy and Prisoners at least?

>>64640897
have you not been here for a while?

File: why_you_always_lying_feat_1_.jpg (20KB, 467x414px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 467x414px

>>64640907

>>64640925
i completely forgot that i have a dozen or so star wars filters. did everyone respond with the contrarian meme?

>>64640971
yes. It was pretty fun.

not as contrarian or edgy as his previous list

>TFA is popular as shit
>how do I get people talking about me again
>I KNOW, I'll mention TFA twice

>>64638723
>Sicario > Bridge of Spies

Agreed 2bh, Bridge was surprisingly dull.

>>64638641
haha I forgot about Debbie Schlussel. What was the review where she broke out here?

>4 of the 10 highest grossing films of all time were in 2015.

explain this

>>64641169
Late capitalism

>>64641169
inflation, globalization

>>64641169
technology, population, people are dumber than ever

>>64638723
>Sicario
Best taste.

He could have gone edgier with it imo 2bh famalam

>>64641273
>tfw i started the famalam thing
Feels good

Queen and Country isn't even from 2015. And it's trash

>>64640917
He called Incendies powerful

>>64641169

Emerging Asian markets.

>>64641169
That has been happpening every year for a while now, expect the same this year and the next.

test

>>64641169

hollywood doesn't take risks on smaller films anymore, just puts everything it has into a few massive films that they hope everyone will see

>>64638802

That sexual description tho

Reminder that litetally no one other than le edgy contrarian teenagers on /tv/ care about this bitter agenda driven faggot

>>64641169

Movies appeal to the lowest common denominator and it works.
Modern blockbusters are made to be enjoyed by Pajeet who shits in designated shitting streets as well as John the plumber, resulting in shallow movies with no identity but lots of possible audience.

>>64638674
>Creed > Straight Outta Compton
>The Green Inferno and Knock Knock > Mad Max: Fury Road
>The Stanford Prison Experiment > The Big Short and Spotlight

I ironically agree with all of these

>>64640369
return to redddit boy

who is this nigger

>>64642006
i care about him, only becasue he's hilarious, and he gets people mad. as far as i remember, he actually HECKLED some director at a private event for the media.

>>64641169
end of the world

File: maxresdefault.jpg (138KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 1920x1080px

"What has to happen in a person's life for them to become a critic, huh?..."

>>64641169
Films this year either made insane bank, or flopped horribly. This was a year of extremes in the box office, not good for film.

>>64638580
>"better than"
>not an obvious ploy to provoke people
>comparing films not even slightly related in genre or cast/crew
>calls It Follows a crummy thriller, but praises The Green Inferno
>calls Charlie Kaufman "faux existentialism"
>liked Furious 7
Oh Armond, you never cease to amuse me. I agree with most of these, but it's so painful the way he's trying to upset people with most of them. A Pigeon Sat on a Branch is one of the best movies of the year.

Has Armond quit being needlessly contrarian for attention or have I started? I agree with almost all of these.

>>64642405
>calls Charlie Kaufman "faux existentialism"
He's spot on with that one.

>>64642585
It's you family. Only ranking Creed over Compton is something that most other critics would be agreeing with.

File: 1444866166543.gif (2MB, 350x197px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 350x197px

>>64638764
hetero-skank privilege

File: image.png (113KB, 399x536px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 399x536px

No Japanese cinema mentioned.

>>64641609
Annon I am afraid. Where is this taking us to

>>64642006
How's Reddit nowadays?

>>64638580
>listening to a nigger

/tv/ 2016 everybody!

File: 1396359649133.png (237KB, 400x267px) Image search: [Google]

237KB, 400x267px

> No mention of Bone Tomahawk
worthless niglet

>>64642989
That's cause Japanese 'cinema' is long dead...

>>64643203
His homosexuality and blackness cancel each other.

What did Armond think of Inside Out?

>>64643245
I got a bone tomahawk for ur mom 2bh

>>64642638
No, he's not. He just just shits on dialogue-heavy movies because he's a bitter asshole. That's why he insists on defending utter dogshit like Transformers, because it isn't pretentious. Fuck him.

>>64638723
>Hating Arabian Nights

File: 1392008353750.png (364KB, 1024x777px) Image search: [Google]

364KB, 1024x777px

>>64643382

>>64643370
repressed homosexual liberal agenda

>>64642078
Spot the board hopping dumb /pol/ fuck.

hey almond, do black likes matter? just wonderin

>>64640500
It's Japanese for Almond

>>64638764
Furious 7 > It Follows

Non CHADs on suicide watch.

>>64641169
Entire generation of infantalized consumers.

>>64638723

Holy shit, Armond not loving the shit out of a Spielberg movie?

>>64638674
>valorizes hip-hop culture’s most noxious historical episode
Did it? I thought they all looked like assholes.

>>64640917
>the enemy of cinema himself
I can understand disliking his flicks but "enemy of cinema", seriously?

>>64644063
i think the love affair has been over since Spielberg was the judge at Cannes a few years ago and made some calls he didn't like