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Kylo, did I ever tell you about the time...
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You are currently reading a thread in /tv/ - Television & Film

Thread replies: 56
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Kylo, did I ever tell you about the time I took an apprentice who was smarter than you, stronger than you, more competent in the force, and able to kill three Jedi in one spin? I tried make him into a successful apprentice but he got overconfident and tried to replace me. For some reason I decided to fall asleep, knowing that my sociopathic and far more evil sith apprentice could kill me if he wanted to, and he electrocuted the shit out of me, beat me with an ugly stick, and lightly grazed my forehead with his lightsaber. Ultimately he failed to successfully kill me because he was a good friend.
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>>64613736
Decided to fall asleep? What, can the man not sleep now?
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>>64613736
>implying Palpatine knew the extent of his powers
>implying he actually couldn't save himself from dying
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>>64615069
I think the "keep himself from dying" thing only applies to old age. He was like 70 in RotS, which means he'd be over 100 in RotJ.

Getting thrown into a reactor though...no one could survive that.
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>>64613736
>And that's why I have you now! An easily controlled Whiny pissbaby who wouldn't have the balls to try to usurp me!
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You can't tie your shoes close to Sheev cause he'd fuck you in a heartbeat. Which makes Plagueis retarded for lowering his guard.
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>>64615345
I guess he figured the smartest man in the universe would have the patience to wait to learn the best force techniques before he tried anything. Sheev sniffed that delaying act out like a bloodhound and wasn't going to have any of that shit
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>>64615069
maybe, just maybe Sidious wanted to feed off anakins inherent connection to keep him alive for a long ass time and when he got turned into vader it ruined that plan. maybe the chosen one was a literal battery for plagueis
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>>64613736
Hey Snoke! You monologguing *again*? (kek)
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this is a marvel tier villian
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>>64613736

>this bland garbage character will now be canon forever, showing up in all sw materials and having dozens upon dozens of toys and truckloads of merch related to him and be an unavoidable part of any star wars lore conversation

ugh
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What kind of lightsaber will he wield?
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>>64615250
There's no way he's supposed to be 70 in episode 1, or 2/3 for that matter
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>>64613736

you know I thought it would be pretty cool if snoke was actually that huge

lsome lovecraftian shit right there
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>>64615250
>execute order: 77
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>>64616322
>mfw he welds like 800 or some absurd number using the force to swing them while he sits in his chair
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>>64613736
Sidious had no problem throwing all kinds of heavy shit at yoda, why couldn't he just use the force to slow his fall?
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>>64616380
Because he was about to fall off too at that part of the fight
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>>64616378
>Snoke has thousands of lightsabers and throws them like projectiles in different directions
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>>64616322
A quad saber
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>>64616334
He's about 85 by the time of ROTJ so he'd be 65 in Episode 1.
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>>64616415
God that shit is dumb
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>>64616415

what the fuck is even the point of the bottom saber
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>>64616443
additional edge
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>>64616314
>we will have to discuss Disney canon in the future

Kill me
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>>64616322
Three-style Lightsaber
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>>64616514
Only now does it hit me that Zorro is actually a small guy
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Did they go to earth at the end of the movie? Is that the idea? The Jedi originated on Earth and Luke is staying there after humanity has scattered to the galaxy and their planet has flooded?
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>>64616545

Considering how height works in OP he probably grew two feet in the last year of his travels.
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>>64616545
f-for me?
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>>64616566
You can be a big guy in more than height anon
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>implying Snoke isn't Vader's dark side Force ghost
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>>64616443
So you can accidentally kill yourself with lightning speed.
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>Kylo, did I ever tell you about Sheev? The Jedi attempted to arrest him simply for practicing his religion. It was treason, then.
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>>64613736
sheev did kill him though.

the knights of ren revived Snoke.

just like the plot in those starwars games, sith cultists always trying to revive ancient powerful sith.
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>Kylo, did I ever tell you about the time Sheev and I tried to impregnate spirituality itself with our dark side cum? He was a good friend.
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>>64616407
Anime already did it.
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>>64615250
Why did sheev have a hole in his throne room floor that led down to a reactor?
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>Kylo, did I ever tell you about the time Sheev named a hospital after himself?
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>>64616636

They probably stumbled onto him by chance in the unknown regions where he was slumbering and recuperating after getting his ass handed to him by Sheev.

Then the ancient evil awoke and took control of the knights and told Ben he needs to go kill the jedi for whatever reason so he did, the absolute madman.
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>>64616683
Sheev has god tier taste in home decoration
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>>64616636
Speaking of the Knights of Ren, at the end of the day will they turn out to be glorified Stormtrooper story-wise or will they be competent soldiers, the Lancelot, Percival and the others to Kylo's Arthur?
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>>64616407
>The end of episode 8 is the end of kingdom hearts 2 with Rey and Kylo
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>>64616548
It was quite jarring how the last location looked blatantly real where as the others didn't. Luke's planet just didn't fit in at all
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>>64616407
>Snoke is literally Gilgamesh
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>>64616683
>I WANT TO FEEL THE HUM OF THE ENGINES, I WANT MY ASSHOLE TO PUCKER WHEN IT FIRES
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>>64616719

chances are they'll job in like 3 seconds of their appearance to teh Rey. maybe even offscreen
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>>64616683
Same reason people like having meters for their CPU on their desktop, only on a Napoleonic scale befitting a galactic emperor.
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>>64616749
Thanks for making me imagine Sheev's wrinkly grey anus.
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>>64616548
What the fuck don't you understand about a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away?
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>>64616843
Do you really think that would be enough to keep them from pulling that twist?
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>>64616870
Yeah because it's a completely different fucking galaxy.
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>>64616707
>be Luke
>be hiding in Scotland
>be a deadbeat dad, and somehow after force mind wipe your daughter still finds you
>take off hoodie and cry
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>>64616955
It's Ireland actually
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>>64616929
Also a long time ago
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>>64616747
>Luke Skywalker, do you have many lightsabers
Thread replies: 56
Thread images: 11
Thread DB ID: 376972



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