I've met Ron Howard, Bronson Pinchot (douche), but the most memorable was this one time I was at Trader Joes and saw Jonah Hill checking out mangos. Being a huge Superbad fan, I casually approached him and from a few feet away I say "tell me about your weiner."
Jonah slams a mango down and just goes off, "MY WEINER. MY WEINER. YOU ASKED ME ABOUT MY WEINER. HOW FUNNY, WHY DON'T YOU COME WRITE FOR ME AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT OUR WEINERS ALL DAY."
I didn't know how to respond so I slowly backed away and pretended to buy some peaches.
I saw Aidan Gillen at an airport in Uzbekistan a few weeks ago. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a hothead and bother him and ask him to take some men free of charge.
He said, “Oh, you want me to call it in?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “BANE? BANE? BANE?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my boarding, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my ticket up front I saw him trying to board the plane with like fifteen doctors in without paying.
The girl at the desk was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to file those with the agency first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the desk.
When she took one of the doctors and started checking for ID multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any master plans,” and then turned around and gestured a feather in his cap at me. After she scanned each doctor and gave them each a stamp and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by gripping his belt loudly.
>Bruce Cambell showed up at the local Italian deli I go to one time
>Little John literally ran into me in Vegas. His bodyguard was a sasquatch
>MC Hammer was at the local gas station I go to a few summers ago
>Met Neil Patrick Harris as a kid at Magic Mountain (they were filming an episode of Doogie Howser)
>Sid Haig shops at the local Whole Foods, not uncommon to run into him
I was handing out beers at a function that Rosanna, Patricia, and David Arquette attended in VA, served David (total bro) his first Yeungling, Patricia and Rosanna were cunts and avoided most people, especially Patricia
I met Scarlett Johansson yesterday.
I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a dick and bother her and ask her for photos or anything.
She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Snickers in her hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Madam, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, Scarlett stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterrence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, Scarlett kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
I met Kevin Smith in an elevator in an NYC hotel back in 2004. He got on with my brother and I in the lobby and we instantly recognized him. Back then he was fat but not as fucking massive as he is these days.
We told him how much we loved Dogma and even though we were both shitty little teenagers, he got off on our floor and took a couple pictures with us. He was super fucking nice and it always kind of makes me sad to see /tv/ hate him. He, more than anyone, knows that he's the luckiest fucking geek alive.