>Hates prequels because they're shitty
>Likes TFA even though it's shitty
is this the thread we post RLM reaction images in?
RLM are the living embodiment of the smug, detached Gen-X ethos.
I'd venture to guess none of them has felt a single sincere conviction about anything since childhood. They exist as polyps upon the colon of culture, satiating themselves on the perceived failures of others (i.e. "The Man") while adding nothing new to the discourse aside from ironic complaint.
They're a group of insecure, lost, rapidly aging burnouts who silently believe they could do a better job of making films than the professionals in the industry. Yet they lack the ambition and ability to actually enter the very industry they're obsessed with. They choose instead to fuck around and make student film piss-takes well into middle age.
They are awful, awful people. I've met thousands just like them, and the last thing we need is for these people to gain any attention for their navel gazing.
Please, /tv/, do not aspire to become anything like these people. Theirs is a lonely and pathetic road leading to depression and a life devoid of real purpose.
I hope they disappear and their disaffected followers stop subsidizing their lifestyle. Perhaps that would force them to do something productive with themselves.
Mike basically judges every movie as retarded film student
>the movie hits all the arbitrary points I've read must be in a good movie, therefore I consider myself joyous and satisfied
>but Mike-senpai, this was kinda boring, movies shouldn't follow the same shitty template
>shut up, Jay
Some of us still look forward to our prostate exams.
Being this autistic.
This is literally how all criticism goes, it's all painfully arbitrary. Film and art studies are for creators to figure out how they are going to put their work together. The best a critic can do is explain how a movie appeals to a chosen audience.
There are movies no one enjoys, though, and have no audience.
Probably due to two factors op:
First one is that they couldn't be fucked to put in the effort to do plinkett reviews anymore, it's half in the bag no real opinions or examination shit from now on.
Second is he's turned into a complete alcoholic and being drunk makes almost anything better.
I was more offended by the lack of Jayfu in the latest video.
Literally nobody at RLM has taste in film. Combined, they've probably seen fewer than ten black-and-white, foreign, or pre-1980s films. They can be entertaining but you shouldn't put much value in their opinions of cinema.
Because rathtars were an appropriate use of cgi as opposed to this garbage.
>tfw /tv/ will defend this trash to appear "contrarian."
Mike approves of most big budget shit movies these days. If it entertained him in the theater no matter how bad it actually was he gives it a pass.
Its probably the alcohol talking at this point.
I saw people defending pic related in another thread. The contrarianism is real.
>watch star wars 1-6 yesterday
>1-3 is shittier game of thrones
>4-6 i almost fell asleep halfway through every movie.
people like this shit?
>watch Jack and Jill review
>"those dummies that laugh at fart jokes"
>watch BOFTW with Thunderpants
>see them laugh at fart jokes
and that's really all you need to know, hypocrites with a superiority complex
Also the hunting of rathtars clued the audience in as to what Solo was doing the entire time after the events of ROTJ. So there was a point to the scene. Unlike the hamster wheel, but keep defending the hamster wheel.
But it's pointless. What Han has been doing could be told in one sentence.
Also doesn't explain why he's hovering around over Jakku waiting for the Falcon, which he didn't know was there
>/tv/ spends years literally sucking this guy off and forming "go watch the RLM reviews" lynchmobs for anyone who dares defend any aspect of the prequels
>now we hail Lucas as our lord and saviour, unironically claim revenge of the sith is a good movie, the prequels were bold and creative, and assert RLM are paid disney shills
You guys are all fucking faggots and, yes, redditors
>Not appreciating the many qualities of Jurassic World.
Next year, people who were born when Episode 1 was released will be able to post on 4chan without being underaged b&.
Meaning those fuckers are 17yo right now and posting on /tv/ about how they grew up with episodes 1-3.
The HitB review confirmed something that I suspected about Mike for a long time; he's a fanboy. He just wanted them to make something like what he saw as a child and that's exactly what Disney did. They produced a movie specifically designed to appeal to the nostalgia of people in his age group. With this movie he's incapable of seeing the forest for the trees.
and then Gilchrist fucks Lisa aswell
poor poor jay
>worried that into darkness is going to be stupid and over the top with planets blowing up everywhere after trek 09 destroyed vulcan
>literally 6 planets blow up in TFA
Wow Jay. A new low, even for rlm.
>mfw when some pathetic RLM fanboy cuck finally does successfully refute it
The Force Awakens has all of the elements of the Original Trilogy that the Prequel Trilogy lacked, which is a major aspect of why Mike dislikes the prequels. It's like JJ took the Plinkitt review and used it as a guide for making TFA. It's worth noting that TFA has a 94% on RT. It's not like his praise is unique or noteworthy.
He really enjoyed JJ's Star Trek despite it being tonally nothing like the original series. He also disliked Into Darkness for its fanboy pandering. Your analysis is bullshit.
TFA is only shitty in the /tv/ echo chamber. By every measurable standard it is considered a quality film, and the criticisms that /tv/ autists consider to be catastrophic are either petty plot nitpicks, or redefining Mary Sue to fit their circlejerk.
>Now that I feel safe /tv/ has come to a consensus on TFA, I can safely copy-paste the general opinion as my own.
>Give me your approval please, /tv/. I agree with you, now please tell me I have done well.
>P-please tell me how right I am, my peers.
They said TFA had some problems but they liked it, whereas the prequels are irredeemable piles of shit.
If you seriously think TFA and prequels are even remotely similar in terms of quality and entertainment value, you should get mental help.
It's ironic that you've given him Max Landis' gayboi haircut, considering he's the one that initially started the Mary Sue buttwhine.
That's the haircut of the person you Mary Sue dipshits are parroting.
>hates The Phantom Menace because the characters make no sense
>TFA characters make no sense
>hates prequels because there's no tension in them
>there's no tension in TFA
>hates prequels because nothing makes sense about the plot
>likes TFA even though nothing about the plot makes sense
>hates prequels for using CGI characters to explain stupid shit that they have no reason for knowing about
>likes TFA when it has tons of CGI aliens and one of them just so conveniently happens to explain stupid shit that she has no reason to know about
>hates prequels because the dialogue sucks
>likes TFA even though the dialogue sucks
>hates the prequels because Anakin is a mary sue and he's a weird creepy emo teenager
>likes TFA even though Rey is a mary sue and Kylo Ren is a weird creepy emo teenager
Just because you out things in greentext doesn't make them true. How do the characters in TFA make no sense? How does the plot in TFA make no sense? And I don't seem to recall Plinkett ever saying Anakin is a Mary Sue. You may literally be retarded.
>lauren was in a skit right after the "controversy" spread to RLM's site.
>never in a skit prior and never in one since
not that I care but that would be a pretty big coincidence
she does nothing in the skit but appear and leave. what would be the point of making it LAUREN and not any random girl off the street if it wasn't just to acknowledge the dumb controversy.
Because they needed someone to walk in the door and she's a friend who may have been available at the time? Sorry, anon, but RLM hates /tv/ and I highly doubt they would do anything to directly acknowledge this place.
First of all if you've been on /tv/ for longer than a week you'd know about Classic Gilchrist saga and what came out of it.
Second if you find /tv/ talking about movie reviewers annoying then please go shit up some meme thread instead of staying in here like a butthurt little baby.
they weren't directly acknowledging /tv/. the meme had spread to their site at that point. they were just calling out their fans for being retarded. I think jay even directly responded to a few people about it on their message board.
it was literally the next episode they released after the whole spamming, there is no joke, she just appears and leaves.
Actually I asked that on their forums and Jay said, that it just kind of coincided with that and wasn't planned. Which for me kind of makes sense, because they had to you know get her and stuff, which probably can't be done from one day to another, just to call your fans out.
> reading some old forum posts and being amused by how RLM was in the past
> UGH SO PATHETIC WHY ARE YOU DEDICATING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TO THESE E-CELEBS XD
Never fucking reply to me again unless you're contributing to the thread.
>getting angry at things that don't matter
They didn't really copy that much from the OT though. You got
- empire 2.0
- death star 2.0
- a couple of cameos
- one or two reference drops
And don't even start with the whole "same movie beat for beat thing", you're talking about a story structure which is pretty damn standard.
Watch the plinkett reviews again, the pottery alone isn't the issue. The problem is using the visuals without any understanding of what made those scenes powerful.
>luke falls in empire when he decides death is better than the dark side
>anakin falls in clones because he enjoys pissing off obi-wan
>a dark and hazy atmosphere sets the stage for father and son's first duel, vader is testing luke
>a dark and hazy atmosphere sets the stage for a good guy to fight a bad guy with no personal connection at all
>leia thinks she lost han forever as she watches the slave I leave cloud city
>padme wants to get dooku because he's the bad guy as she watches his ship fly away
Reusing visual language is a basic movie making element, it's only shitty when you completely miss the point of what your visual language is trying to say.
I'm not saying TFA doesn't have cheap pottery that doesn't work (trench run) or that none of the prequel pottery works (the idea of kamino vs cloud city was cool I thought, or having the jedi starfighter cockpits look like TIE fighters').
It must have been legit. Strange how every e-celeb has some sort of sordid past according to /tv/ despite there never being any real proof outside of /tv/. So strange how that always happens.
He's a hack. He declares I LOVED IT without so much as mentioning:
>the movie winks at the audience way too much and so many of the shots (Han boarding the Falcon, C-3PO popping into frame, the Leia reveal) only work properly if the movie is watched years after your first viewing of RotJ and would make no sense if you watched 4-7 in sequence in a couple of years
>the story is a SHAMELESS rehash of A New Hope that takes absolutely no risks with anything and adds nothing meaningful to the universe or the overall story
>Maz Kanata is a ridiculous looking and useless character who only exists for a "WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE" at the cantina scene in ANH
>the entire sequence after they first meet Han is meaningless filler with guys with goofy accents, nonsensical inconsistency in the behavior of the tentacle monsters, and Han making a fucking hyperspace jump out of a hanger and being fine despite him explicitly describing how precise it has to be in ANH
>Rey is an absurd character who completely devalues the training Luke went through in Empire and his glorious triumph in RotJ by becoming a full-fledged Jedi in one movie with no training
>Han Solo dies, but only for shock value and to get people generating buzz about the movie
The list really goes on. That fat fuck is too easily pleased.
>RLM are the living embodiment of the smug, detached Gen-X ethos.
Old fag here, RLM are the nerds wearing fanny packs playing marbles. They are about as drywit and 90's as David Bowie touring with Nine inch nails. They are fucking L A M E
Oh sorry FAMALAM, but I'm pretty sure Luke couldn't:
>force pull a lightsaber out of the ground 100 meters away while a trained force user is attempting to do the same from much closer
>beat a trained force user in a lightsaber fight after literally just picking one up for the first time
>successfully perform a mind trick after only three attempts while distressed and basing the method entirely on vague legends
>resist and read the mind of a trained force user either accidentally or by being literally flawless
Without any sort of training in ANH. What was the point of "he's too old to begin the training" if the training is literally pointless?
I bet there is a big audience of people wanting to waste 7 hours of their life on a movie about people walking down the street.
Have an upvote for this great analysis, sir!
Jay's Dropbox got hacked along with his Twitter.
what porn pics?
why would anyone upload pics of their themselves anywhere? especially without deleting when they're nudie shit
I guess he must get off from the idea of someone finding them
Is there a single critical review on TFA on jewtube yet? Its fucking weird, even TDKR started getting shit after initial hype. Are people just afraid/in denial to look at flaws in a Star Wars movie?
Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a troll.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . .that is if you can handle it
Bit surprised by it.
I think the Star Wars Fanboy googles were still on when they reviewed it.
>"Adam Sandler does the same lame shit"
>SpaceCop still features them having Rich hamming it up and doing that stupid weird walking gag
>Everyone else is wrong about things, I'm not
>no, this is the first time i'm doing anything with a guy
>i have a girlfriend
>no, i'm straight, but very curious and very sexual
>proceeds to expertly tear apart the bottom's hole over the next 25 minutes