Dan "Slip her the pepsi can in the back of the van" Schneider
Dan "the man, dick as thick as a soda can, shut the fuck up and get in my van" Schneider
Jennette was perfectly fine letting Dan be a total creep with her, or at least ambivalent about it, since it ultimately served the purpose of making her rich and famous, while conversely, Miranda seemed to be freaked out by it to no end, and despite any money or fame, ultimately regrets it and probably hates both herself and Dan.
At some point there was the first time where Miranda went to Jennette, thinking that they could take solace in one another, maybe talk about their problems, possibly even work together to somehow keep Dan back...and Jennette just feigns interest and brushes her off. Miranda thinks that Jennette is just too hurt to talk about it, and brings it up to her again and again, only for Jennette to finally get fed up and straight up tell Miranda to drop it, because she likes the gravy train she has going and she isn't going to let her or anybody else derail it. Miranda's view of the world is shattered even further, and she never really speaks to Jennette again unless she has to.
Dan "living within the law, while fucking kids galore" Schneider
Dan "who tickles feet without so much of a damn" Schneider
Dan "oh man, oh man, i need to ram" Schneider
Dan " the real man, who licks children's toes while feeding them with his 'soda can' " Schneider
Dan "the man with a plan and two kids in his basement with used diaphragms" Schneider
Dan "delivering justice to young kids like a pedophile night rider" Schneider
Dan "the freedom rider, with his dick still inside a minor" Schneider
Dan "The Cave-in" Schneider
Because he crushes minors regularly
>he didn't even know her name, just pointed at the one he wanted and the rest was understood
Dan "drinking some sweet cider, while fucking a kid on a hang glider" Schneider
Dan "the outsider, despite having his 9inch dong inside her"
Dan "I need another, but only if I can do it in front of their mother" Schneider
Dan "more cum than spider-man and a silk spider after fucking one another" Schneider
Dan "i don't care if I'm with another man" Schneider
Dan "every orifice filled with my hands, with my dick hanging on as much as it can" Schneider
"Dirty" Dan "The Man with the Plan" "Candy Land" "Get in my Van" "Twelve Inch Span" "I Hate Sand" "Baby Lovin' Clan" "Ladies' Man" "Use Your Hand" "Vaginal Scan" "Wider Than" "Best Man" "Game Plan" "Panties in the Trash Can" "Chicks on my Catamaran" "Rough Rider" "Leg Divider" "Open Wider" "Came Inside Her" "Hang Glider" "Hard Cider" "Condom Hider" "Sting Spider" "Cum Provider" "Gang Bang Guider" "Supercollider" "Wang Dang Doodle Up the Piper" Schneider
Dan "a man on a mission to fuck as many underage girls as he can" Schneider
Dan "The Diaper Slider" Schneider
Dan "The Hymen Collider" Schneider
Dan "This One's a Fighter" Schneider
Dan "Get her into the Van" Schneider
Dan "Keep Him from the Choir" Schneider
Dan "I Think Jimmy Savile's the Man" Schneider
Dan "the rough rider and media slider" Schneider
no! he got to bestest emma! she's forever tainted :[
dan "smooth as a hang glider" schneider
dan "ten? she's a gran" schneider
dan "stack of tin cans" schneider
dan "the next step in my master plan" schneider
dan "more adventures with kids than peter pan" schneider
dan "the muffin man" schneider
dan "gives kids more wine than a holy man" schneider
dan "sketchy minivan rider" schneider
Dan "bigger than the average man, wears a mask to hide his plan, the fire rises when he sets his sights around her, get this hothead outta here before I ride her, this plane is crashing with out a survivor" Schneider
Dan "put a child on my lap and watch me rap" Schneider
Dan "I blew Howard Hessman to get a job on an 80's sitcom because I wanted to fuck Robin Givens and Khrystyne Haje in an interracial swirlfest" Schneider
Dan "Pedophilia or paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children, generally age 11 years or younger. As a medical diagnosis, specific criteria for the disorder extends the cut-off point for prepubescence to age 13. A person who is diagnosed with pedophilia must be at least 16 years of age; adolescents must be at least five years older than the prepubescent child for the attraction to be diagnosed as pedophilia." Schneider
>Dan Schneider chats with Fanlala at the 2011 Creative Arts Emmy Awards and tells us why the cast of iCarly is smart to be nice to him...
its already too late. dan's already used her up and chucked her in the garbage
Dan Schneider serves as Executive Director of the American Conservative Union (ACU), America’s oldest and largest grassroots conservative organization. He has dedicated his career to supporting conservative ideals at the highest levels of government as well as leading grassroots advocacy on the most important issues in the conservative movement.
Dan has a long and distinguished career in public policy, starting with his job as chief of staff to conservative stalwart former Congressman Jim Ryun (R-KS). He was then recruited into the U.S. Department of Labor as White House Liaison under Secretary Elaine L. Chao in the first term of the George W. Bush administration, and served in both the White House and at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services as an acting assistant secretary. Most recently, Dan advised U.S. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) on the selection of conservative candidates for federal board positions.
He is a lifetime member of the National Rifle Association, an Eagle Scout, a former board member of Americans United for Life and served two faith-based missions in the Peoples’ Republic of China.
Dan and his wife of 20 years, Gisella, have three boys and live in Virginia.
In Japan he's:
"Super Ultimate Shimapan" Dan "Loli-molesting Yankee Man" Schneider-san "From Dixieland 100%"
>I’m a libertarian. My approach is simple- legalize everything, as long as no 1 is hurt. This includes drugs, prostitution, porno, etc. Even child porno (which now comes in a child-free type) is basically harmless. Most of the ‘children’ are shaved mid-teenagers, not 5 year olds. If it’s silly to have statutory rape laws that punish a 19 year old guy from boinking his 16 year old sweetheart, it’s just as silly to outlaw child porno on the myth that it’s a gateway activity for possible rape & molestation. The #s, borne out over decades, simply do not support that. Why? Because it’s never been studied. But common sense dictates that like adult porno, child porno is not a threat to society at large.
>mfw I just remembered cunny Emma used to have her own show on Nick
You're kidding, right?
>There are people who actually think it's the same Dan Schneider.
Dan "I enjoy molesting young underage girls, I probably rape them and I have a foot fetish too. I've also scared many girls, including Amanda bynes, mccurdy and the cunt with the red hair, who are now all coal burners as a result of my molestation. I'm also a filthy low-moraled Jew, so I can get away with almost anything, just ask woody. I love to put my '11 cock deep inside their buzems, with much pleasure to me." Schneider.
R8 and H8.