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Fuck /tv/, I followed my dream to be a director....
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You are currently reading a thread in /tv/ - Television & Film

Thread replies: 104
Thread images: 24
Fuck /tv/, I followed my dream to be a director. My parents mortgaged their house and a significant portion of their retirement to fund my dream. Costing $1 million in total. They all think Im gonna be famous. But the movie sucks ass. Everyone I show to says its horrible. Every festival rejects it. I don't have the courage to tell them that I wasted their retirement. What should I do? The film is beyond terrible. Why did my parents believe in me, why didn't they realize what a fuck up I am?
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how are you only now coming to this realization
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>>49205108
>Alexa

kek
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on the off-chance this isn't a troll, plenty of director's first movies are shit, and plenty of directors spent years trying to break in. it took david lynch five years to make eraserhead. just learn from the experience and reedit and reshoot, or make another movie.
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>1 million to make a movie
fucking what nigga, did you use actual film and actors or something? fucking why
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>>49205108
Post a link. I want to see your work

>>49205151
implying Alexas aren't amazing
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>shoulda gone to film school
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at least your parents didn't throw their money away on a restaurant
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1. Edit it to make it as terrible as possible
2. Make buzz online about how its the best "funny because its bad" movie ever
3. Rake in money from hipsters and online NC style reviewers
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>>49205108
It's not an easy thing to do well. If this isn't a troll (it is) was this your first film? Why did you spend 1 million dollars on a film? If it took you 1 million to make then I can say without hesitation that your screenplay was probably bad from the outset.
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>>49205108
>this story

this can't be real.
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>>49205108

ahahahaha oh hahahahahahahaha you delusional cunt, I hope you made connections at least that way you might be able to get a bitch job in L.A. doing something like being a runner
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Let me see. I want to see.
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>mfw all this viral marketing

Ima say something like this when I want people to hear my new upcoming album`
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>>49205108
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>>49205108
OP, Christopher Nolan never went to film school. Im sure he felt the exact same way after he made his first film.

Believe in yourself, keep working at, dreams don't happen without persistence!!!!
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>my parents mortgaged their home and retirement to fund it
Hollywood rule #1 never invest your own money
Hollywoodrule #2 never accept net points, "net points are monkey points" - Eddie Murphy
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>>49205108
This is probably a fake story, anyway.

But if it's true:

Why the fuck would you spend 1.000.000 dollars on your first movie?
You could've done something great with less than a 100k.
Or even 20k.

Shit, you should've made a couple of shorts to get a grip on storytelling for a couple of hundreds to a few thousand dollars first.
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OP, I'm a 100% serious when I'm telling you that you might as well kill yourself now.
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fake your death and move to mexico
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>>49205578
You're a fucking goon.
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Become the next Uwe Bolle.
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It is true unfortunately, it is a comedy about stoners.The reason it cost one mill is because it went over schedule by three months and the crew took advantage of me.
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>>49205756
>comedy about stoners
wow
very originality
much groundbreak
such new territory
wow
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>>49205756

>stoner comedy
>the crew took advantage of me

Dumbshit, literally kill yourself
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>>49205756
you spent 1 million dollars. on a comedy. about stoners...
aside from having invested your own money, you've made plenty of mistakes to get to where you are. holy shit.
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why would you spend that much on your first film, which his pretty always guaranteed to be a failure
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>>49205436
>net points
shit does not apply here
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>>49205756
>it is a comedy about stoners
>the crew took advantage of me
>over schedule by three months
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>>49205756
no.1 rule in hollywood, never spend your own money
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>>49205756

It's not a comedy if no one laughs Anon.
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>>49205756
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>>49205756
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>>49205928
Why is that a rule? If a producer, director, knows their shit, they should use their own money, have creative control and reap all the profits.
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>>49205756
>it is a comedy about stoners

That was your biggest mistake.
Nobody is ready to see a comedy about such a dark and serious social issue.

Maybe in 20 years people will look back and marvel how ahead of your time you were.
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>>49206356
Because if they really knew their shit, people would give them money. There is not a lack of investors out there. There is a lack of people who know their shit.
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>>49206356
producers get funding from private investors and rarely use their own money to fund a film.

movies are expensive, even a modest 2 million budget will need like 5 million to promote.
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>>49205756
Just show a fucking trailer or whatnot.
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>spending $1 millions on your first movie
yeah, direction isn't for you
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>>49205756
This shit can't be real...
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>>49205756
sell the movie to Asylum, make a few thousands bucks back
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LOL

PLEB TEARS

YES
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>>49205756
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>>49205795
>le doge meme
really?
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oh please be real
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>>49205108
>white people
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OP, sorry for you. Please share film with 4chan. We will support you. At least a trailer or the best scene from your film would do.

Thanks
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>>49206977
this, OP.
We will kick-start a marketing campaign for you.
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>>49205108

>mfw Tommy Wiseau actually did this
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I refuse to believe this is real
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>>49207046
don't worry it's not
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>>49205108
Lord, I've never asked for anything so I think it's not too much for me to request that you make this real. Thank you.
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Give us a goddamn synopsis.
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Release the film on the internet. Post about it here. Let us all revel in how amazingly bad it is.
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>>49205108
you can be the next Tommy Wiseau OP, release the movie on youtube
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>>49205756
The movie worked OP.
We're all laughing here
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>>49207014
He had a "Bottomless pit" for a bank account though. Not his parents livelihood. You crippled your family, OP. Why wouldn't you have started small?
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>>49207192
The film is pretty much like Kevin Smiths Clerks but it takes place in college and has a lot of relationship dramas and stuff, while the characters smoke and party all day. We all thought it was hilarious while filming it but no one else finds it funny at all.
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>>49207503
Did you edit it yourself or hire a decent editor? If not get a decent editor. It might be salvageable. Woody Allen's early films were reputedly abysmally unfunny until they were edited well. Annie Hall even had a whole murder subplot and other bullshit tacked on.
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>>49207503
>The film is pretty much like Kevin Smiths Clerks but it takes place in college


OP you should really try to get some more funding and double down on making a "making of" documentary of this travesty.
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>>49207503
>The film is pretty much like Kevin Smiths Clerks but it takes place in college and has a lot of relationship dramas and stuff
show us some form of footage PLEASE
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>>49205756

Just make another comedy film about the hilariously retarded situation you're in, it's comedy gold
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>>49207503
>We all thought it was hilarious while filming it but no one else finds it funny at all.
heh
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>All these replies
>No hint of proof

/tv/
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>>49205756
You fucked up man. You gotta find out what hipsters like.
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>>49206564
This

>he can't make four shorts in a month using less than a $100
Find another career
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>>49205151
>hating the best digital camera out there right now
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For the love of god, please post some footage.
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>>49206944
it's a stoner comedy, probably a nigger.
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>>49209432
the way OP talks, sounds like a white, college bitchboi
unless he is one of those autistic niggers who watch anime
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>>49205108
Post it on Youtube. If its really as bad as you say, it could be a cult smash like The Room.
Everyone loves bad movies.
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>tfw can't handle all this schadenfreude
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You don't start off spending shitloads of money on something out of the blue you shitlord.

What the fuck did you even try to make? Did you actually thoroughly research shit? did you even have any industry contacts?

El Mariachi was made for 5000 dollars. The Evil Dead would have cost about 500 000 modern dollars.
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>>49209782
its bad /tv/ im thinking about killing myself. my parents are blue collar workers who busted their ass and really believed in me. I am beyond fucked
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>$1,000,000
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>>49209813
Try to get a good editor.
Editing can save a lot, you wouldn't believe
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>>49209813
sell your movie dumbass just do the best you can
maybe you can find somebody to help you salvage it
your parents deserve to die penniless and unloved just for believing in you in the first place, forget about them
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>>49209813
Did you have storyboards? Did you have sit down sessions with friends and relatives and ask for their honest opinions on shit? Did you discuss what was happening with anyone else involved in behind the scenes stuff? Did you honestly think anyone would care about another generic DUDE WEED LMAO comedy?
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OP is full of shit if he cant even post a trailer
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DUDE LET'S MAKE A STONER MOVIE XD IT'S GONNA BE EPIC!!!
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Ironically OP's idea of making a stoner movie sounds exactly like a stoner idea.
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>$1m dollars

Did you have pew pew lasers or zip zoom spaceships?
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>>49209813
fucking show us something brah
otherwise ur just b8ing
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>>49209923
No, I hired Phillip Seymour Hoffman for a 3-minute cameo
It's the last acting work he ever did
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Even though this isn't true, hire a GOOD editor (I'm assuming you edited the film yourself or lorded over the other one like a controlling asshole) and cut out all the shit. Cut it down to a slim 85-90 mins and keep all the best shit.
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>>49205756
>The reason it cost one mill is because it went over schedule by three months and the crew took advantage of me.

I guess you could say they worked you over.
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>>49209947
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post trailer
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bump for more of this story OP
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>>49209947
You don't think he killed himself because of the shame of working on your film do you?
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>>49209947
>>49210329
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Post trailer or get out.
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How did the crew take advantage of you
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>>49206863
the one time the doge meme actually made me laugh...

it was an appropriate response to a generic stoner movie, imo
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>>49210789
They took turns fingering his butt
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fuck OP post the trailer
I want to believe this is real.
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Bump, more info! Even if it's b8, it's been pretty funny so far.
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hey op:

i will buy the blu-ray, i promise.
see, you just earned some money.
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Blue Ruin was made for less than a 100k.

You fucked up, OP
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>>49205756
>>49209813
The real comedy was your life, fuccboi
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Is this depressed director from /p/

/p/lease tell me it is
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>>49205108

Post it on reddit along with the story. It'll go viral even though the movie sucks which I believe it does.
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I don't care if OP comes back and reveals we're all idiots for believing his ruse, I'm having so much fun reading it.
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>>49207836
>implying it matters

You're like those 'fake and gay' guys
Thread replies: 104
Thread images: 24
Thread DB ID: 15589



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