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You are currently reading a thread in /tv/ - Television & Film

Thread replies: 249
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http://www.confusedmatthew.com/guardians-of-the-galaxy.html

Oh....i like this movie way less now...
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There are way too many movie review personalities on the internet these days.
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GOTG BTFO
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CM has certified autism. Literally. He's on the spectrum. Confused Matthew has autism.
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>>47446599
Just like you?
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>>47446599
cry more
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What does he say? I ain't giving him hits
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>>47446497
You like it way less now because of someone else's review. You're completely fucking retarded.
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>>47446497
CM is worse than Nostalgia Critic
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>letting other people decide what you like for you even after you decided you liked it
You'll fit right in here.
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Haven't watched it but hopefully he points out how uninteresting, unoriginal, and generally dull the the plot is? IDK

Watching now, this dude autismal as fuck
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>>47446669
Ok, I actually don't. I still have my own opinion. I just said that 'cuz I thought it would get more responses and discussions on what CM pointed out.

OP is still a fag, mind you.
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>>47446497
Oh man, he's trying so hard.
>>
LOL
"This movie isn't fun. It's just dead"
I can't Get A Load Of This Guy hard enough.
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>>47446665
His main point is that they should have focused more on Star-Lord's humanness and that it should have been a fish out of water story. His main reason to dislike the film is not that the film executed the plot badly, but that the plot should have been something else. He's literally retarded.
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>>47446726
>His main point is that they should have focused more on Star-Lord's humanness and that it should have been a fish out of water story.

Dude's lived in Space (Specifically with Space Pirates) for like 20 years, why would he be a fish out of water?
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>>47446726
He brought up other points about what the plot was. Too much exposition. Yondu's arrow is retarded.
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>This movie is bad because the human character isn't TOTALLY CULTURE SHOCKED BY ALIENS
>He thinks it's terrible because main character wasn't alien
>this movie wasn't fun
guy's a retard
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>>47446755
>>47446726
Those are literally the worst critiques possible

Like, that would have gotten rid of the only things that made the movie decent and made it 10 times as banal and dull and cliched horseshit
>>
does he know that this is based off a comicbook?
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>>47446755
Jesus, is he capable of having an ounce of fun?
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He's mad that Peter Quill was NOT a re-tread of the old Flash Gordon/John Crichton cliche'.

Who is this faggot? I feel stupid for giving him a hit now.
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>The movie is bad because a big bad guy wants a powerful item to fuck people up
>wahhhh every Marvel movie is bad because of this
>This movie takes itself SO seriously
Holy fuck, how retarded is this guy?
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this guy is a doof.

he thinks saying "butt service" and "stick a dick in your mouth" makes him funny.
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>Who the fuck is Thanos and why is he in the movie
ahahhaha this fucking guy
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>>47446755
>Yondu's arrow is retarded

fucking why? not only is it only featured out of his holster in two scenes, but it was cool as fuck and the reveal actually made Yondu feel like a real threat
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>>47446815

He's known for his Matrix film analysis and shitting on the Lion King.
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>>47446817
I am a big marvel fan, with Guardians being in my top 3 , but I will admit I severely dislike the macguffin plot in 4/10 movies so far.
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>it's more complicated than most dramas
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>>47446815
>thinks NCFOM is bad
>thinks 2001 is bad
>thinks Moulin rouge is good
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>ever taking CM seriously
>the guy who hates the Lion King because he literally doesn't understand what character development is

>>47446871

IM3 wasn't based on a MacGuffin plot and everyone launched spaghetti all over that film.
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>>47446871
That's how shit works though, you can simply every fucking movie to some bullshit akin to that and it's how the comics work ANYWAY. What would you have the SUPERHEROES do? Fuck around walking around the city for an hour? Beat up some jaywalkers? The fuck?
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>>47446755
nigga that arrow was the best chekhov gun i've seen in forever fuck you
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>>47446726
And then he bitches about how all the characters have tragic back stories and proper motivations for their actions.
> "I thought this would be a light-hearted romp that you wouldn't have to think too hard about...BUT IT'S NOT!"
that was an actual complaint from this video
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>>47446871
don't forget the villains being mostly shit so far
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>>47446923
Hey, bro, I thought the arrow was freakin' cool. Alls I said was that was what CM thought.
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>>47446766
>main character wasn't alien
Well he is half alien.

I feel like CM is basically trying too hard with this review. Especially his rant on marvel as a whole. Because really if there's one criticism about marvel movies is that they are more interested in making one long story taking place over many films than the individual films themselves. I mean when you get down to it the plot of marvel films are pretty underwhelming (both captain america movies being the exception fuck CMs opinion about the first one being bad and iron man 3 was fucking bad.). The one point he has about marvel is that they are more interested in the overall plot of the mcu than the individual films. And that's a problem but holy fuck does he go full autistic rage about it.

p.s. gotg was good fuck him.
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>>47446871
The whole meta plot is about getting those macguffins together. It's not just plot contrivance
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>>47446924
To be fair, most movies probably make his autism short circuit his brain, so it makes sense that that would be a problem for hi,.
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I didn't like the movie too much either. The comedy and character interactions were great but the action was a sloppy mess and the plot was some macguffin exposition filled crap. That stuff is like half the movie. Also anything involving the one dimensional villain was boring.
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>>47446750
He's also not entirely human
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"this movie doesnt nothing but set up the plot"
"and when it doesnt. it explains the charecters background"
"its dead"
>wat....
WHAT ELSE SHOULD A MOVIE BE ABOUT
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>>47446599

Actually he's bipolar.
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>>47446497
>mfw i recognize this kids voice
>mfw i might have gone to high school with him
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>>47446914
Well, the whole orb thing could have been removed completely, if the film had only focused on stopping Ronan from destroying the planet. Maybe that way Ronan could have been developed a little more as a character and the Kree/Xandar war could have been explored a little more.

Personally, I thought the MacGuffin thing in GotG was completely acceptable and a decent way to move the plot along because the characters were great and the world was so rich.
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>>47446497

His Spirited Away review might be one of the worst things I've ever seen.
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>>47446497
why is this dude so retarded?
and i have not even an opinion on the movie...
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>>47446968
CM or Star guy?
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I don't like the film, but CM is literally the dumbest critic of any medium I have ever encountered, ever, ever.
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>>47446950
This is gonna sound hard to believe but I was away doing some missionary work when IM3 came out. When I saw it, I thought it was amazing. It is my favorite marvel film (though it's not the best). I loved the tone, jookes, action, Tony character stuff, the twist. I loved every second. I know /co/ and /tv/ hate it, but I never heard why.

I completely respect anyone else's opinion on the film. Why do you hate my waifu?
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>>47447029
You haven't seen his NCFOM review then.
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>Matthew's Favorite Movies

>Pan's Labyrinth
>Blade Runner

What the fuck
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>he liked the dance off
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>>47447077
Blade Runner's fantastic OP
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>>47447054
they hate it because there are some plot holes and the Mandarin wasn't a racist chinese caricature
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>>47447011
>Kid
He's in his 30s, believe it or not.
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>>47446497
I'm halfway through, he really doesn't understand the setup to Thanos and complaining because he doesn't get it. What a pointless review so far. He has tunnel vision for what he's seeing the movie is, in his opinion. Not for what it really is, and setting up with characters that are established in Marvel publishing.
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>>47447084

I think he's surprised Mathew likes it.
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HOLYFUCK
this started as a
"you laugh you lose thread"
but now has become
"you rage you lose"

fuck hes tarded
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>>47447022
You understand the point is to set up for Thanos and the gems, correct?
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>>47446497
Oh God, him calling Thanos "that other guy" and acting like he's coming out of knowhere for no reason and acting like he's not the general big bad that people already know about. Oh I hope this guy is just fucking around...
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>>47446497
>didn't like Iron Man 1

opinion discarded
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>>47447124
Who gives a shit, though?

That doesn't improve GotG in any way and I strongly doubt it'll actually improve the eventual Thanatos-centric movie in any way. It's a pure marketing gimmick. Stop using it as a defense for the fact that GotG had a pretty boring-ass plot.
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>>47446497
>It's fucking retarded and makes no sense

I don't know if he's reviewing the movie or his own narration.
Goddamnit, after 2 minutes I wanted to jam a railwayspike through my face.
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I didn't much like the movie because it felt like a saturday cartoon. Sure a saturday cartoon with a fuckhuge budget that was pleasing to watch, but still.

>stop dancing

I mean really?
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>>47447153
He was mixed on it. I actually agreed with him on any points. The external plot sucks
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>>47447156
If you don't like how comics work, don't watch comic movies. If you thought going into it it wasn't going to set up for Thanos and gems you're retarded. If you thought the movie wasn't fun anyway you're retarded.
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"WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS I DON'T UNDERSTAAAAANNND!"

It's explained in the movie, pretty well. It's right there in the movie for people to get why they start trusting each other, and become a well knit group. I can't believe this guy is serious..I just can't..
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>>47447203
No, I liked the movie, and I thought it was fun. I also thought it had a garbage plot, and I think it would have been a lot better if it didn't have a garbage plot, and I don't think 'setting up for Thanatos' is an actual justification for it having a garbage plot in a creative sense.

It was a good movie with some weaknesses, and I would have liked it more if those weaknesses didn't exist, and the fact that those weaknesses are p much endemic to Marvel films as a whole doesn't help much.
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every time he starts yelling and cursing, I just imagine him recording it in his mom's basement
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>>47446895
>hatin on Lion King

Fucking why? What are his examples, not willing to give him a hit.
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>baww i don't get the lion king because AUTISM

i got to give him credit. everyone jumped on the "angry" reviewer bandwagon after AVGN got popular. and CM managed to find a new niche of internet reviewing: the autism block. him and the YMS guy should team up and watch rain man.
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>>47446497
>Doesn't like NCFOM
>Sucks Edgar Wright's dick
I mean, Wright's films are good, but fuck.
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>>47447262
little kid simba acts like a child

no really. He goes full aspie mode because Simba acts like a child.
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>>47447054
They hate it mostly because of the Mandarin being an actor and the "real" Mandarin being the, well, guy from the twist.

I haven't seen the one-shot, but a friend told me that there is actually a REAL Mandarin after all, but he is still in the shadows and we don't know who is he. The only thing we know is that "he want's to take back his name", so I guess the fake Mandarin is going to die
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I didn't care for the movie but holy shit this guy nitpicks like a faggot and is annoying as fuck.
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>>47447156
Boring? Holyshit.
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Ohhhh he's confused Matthew. He's just confused, which always means he just don't get it. What a moron.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOwWzFOvCq8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg9gFfxBy4E
Lion King review
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>>47447316
While I think it is fun to be like the comics, if something is different, I will like it if it is ultimately good in its own right.

It's stupid to hate a super-well-thought-out and developed thing just because it isn't 100% faithful.
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He always doesn't understand that Rocket crashed his ship into Ronan and that "the military" as he puts it, made the ship crash. He..he didn't understand the movie, it's like he honestly didn't watch it. This is the worst review i've ever seen.
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>>47447324
It had the same beats as like 90% of the action movies from the past 4 or 5 years

it was still enjoyable because the characters were fun and the setting was fun and it had a really goofy-ass, fun feeling to it. but the actual plot was ass, and it really made it hard to take it seriously when OH WOW THEY'VE OVERCOME THE DARK NIGHT OF SELF-DOUBT THROUGH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP or OH NO THE BAD GUY'S PURSUIT OF THE MACGUFFIN LOOKS LIKE IT'S ABOUT TO SUCCEED AND DESTROY THE WORLD

The plot was ass, sorry. Still a good movie. Ass plot.
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>>47447153
Like another anon said, he was mixed on it.
Iron Man 1 was my favorite of the "Phase 1" MCU films, but I can understand his complaints about it, though. Wish I could say the same for all his reviews.

http://www.confusedmatthew.com/iron-man.html
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>>47447383
I get why his Simba views are stupid, but I think he is correct with timon and pumba
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>>47447038
Both
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>>47446497
Nah this guy's a fuckwit, he was expecting a fish out of water character, and because that's what they didn't do it makes it bad, apparently?
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"WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST TAKE THE WISTLE ARROW GUY ONTO RONAN'S SHIP?!?!?"

They explained he was going to go through the ship's haul that Rocket and others where breaking in. Except he got shot down..they explain this. I'm seriously in awe with this guy, I usually like watching bad reviews just for the sake of seeing the person's shitty opinion. But this guy really irritates me because he truly didn't understand key plot points and development.
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>>47447397
Unfortunately that is something really common among movies which are adaptations.

"Oh no it's a lot different! It sucks!"
"It is extremely faithful and doesn't work as a movie! It sucks!"

You just can't please everyone
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>>47447383

>Trying to reason that T&P are villains

Jesus christ
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>>47446497
>Calls things retarded
>He thinks GoG had a "complicated" plot
What
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>>47447054
I liked it as well, the kid didn't bother me at all. The whole point was Tony Stark was Iron Man without the suit, and I guess people didn't like that.

Apart from that, /pol/ dislikes that Pepper is a Strong Womyn, and other people didn't like the writer's style (Lethal Weapon).
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>No fish out of water character!
Haven't we see enough of that shit?
>They have sad back stories! WHERE'S THE FUN?!
Jesus is he 15? They're quick back stories and we learn more about these characters.

I can't listen anymore. What is he expecting? It was self aware and its a comic that not many movie goers know who these characters are. Jesus he sounds like a fucking 13 year old crying that there wasn't FUN! FUN! FUN!

Tell him to go watch a fucking Transformers movie if he wants tongue and cheek nonsensical bullshit.
>>
>>47446497
>>47446497
Know how I know not to give a shit what this turd burgler says? He thinks Iron-Man 3 was one of the best Marvel movies made. That right there should be a big clue
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>>47447091
Am I the only one that loved the mandarin twist and hated everything else about that movie?

>>47447054
The twist was by far the best part of the film but besides that the whole movie was boring as fuck. My main problems with the film were

1: The jokes in this one started to feel old. Like most of them felt like the same jokes from the first two just rehashed. The only joke I thought was any good was when Tony drives away from the kid while mocking the connection they are supposed to have.

2: The ptsd shit was super forced. Tony has come within inches of dying before half a dozen times at least by now yet the ending of the avengers was somehow more horrible than the rest of the shit he's been through?

3: The small town mystery second act was slow, uninteresting (to me) and bland.

4: The ass pull at the end with tony easily fixing peppers condition so she doesn't explode is just stupid. The idea that Tony is smart enough to fix this shit but hasn't used this information yet to remove the heat weapons and openly gave this life changing if not life saving science to the world is a dick move. but this is nothing compared to the ending

5: Tony throws away the arc reactor. He manages to create a device that could solve the worlds energy problems not just once but twice in the first film and then keeps it as his personal play thing for the second and third film until he decides he doesn't want to be Iron Man anymore and he just gets rid of it. I mean if you want to save lifes one of the best ways to do it would be to give the world nearly unlimited energy.
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>>47447675

But it is.
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>>47447412
I don't think either of those points really make the plot "ass". What was so bad about it? Because it's cliched? I guess I can understand if you think the fundamental plot is mediocre, but it wasn't bad.
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>>47447675
>Iron Man 3
>best Marvel movie

Either he's the biggest troll or legitimately is mentally challenged and should his name is actually a cry for help
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>>47447286
His NCFOM review is rage inducing. It's bizarre that one person could have so many poorly considered and stupid opinions.
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>>47447412
I thought the whole 'overcoming the baddie through friendship' was a stab at The Avengers' ending. And distracting the guy via dancing was a fresh thing, imo.
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>>47447600
The only thing I didn't like is the lame final battle with all of the retarded suits. Also don sheet-l was miscast. Lethal weapon is god tier.
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>>47447731
It's just really weird what he considers the BEST Marvel movies. He has IM3, which is awful, and Cap2 which is phenomenal. It's like if he had...The Punisher movie from the 90s and....I don't know...Ghostbusters. They're not even in the same quality ballpark.
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>>47446497
>shows Ironman 3 as one of the good marvel movies
closed tab
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>>47447686
1. Shane Black
2. Guy was powerless with his armor, that's why he wanted to make a better armor. If his armor couldn't protect him, going without it would have been horrible.
3. Plot.
4. Epilogue shit, who cares.
5. Shane Black / muh superhero shit

It's just a fun Shane Black movie, with an Iron Man flavor.
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>>47447675
I firmly believe he did this review for publicity. Nearly every point he makes, is explain in the movie. He bitches when things were already explained, or it takes 1 second to understand what's going on. Every single thing he says was wrong, like Yondu using his arrow by whistling was out of place. Or how he puts it "why was this supposed to be some badass thing?!". Because he nearly almost uses the arrow twice, so when you final see him use it he kills 20 soldiers in seconds. There's a build up, that's the point. He even stupidly mistakenly says he shot them in the head, when you see the arrow hit ever single one of their chests. His name really fits him, and it's fascinating that he reviews movies when it's obvious he doesn't understand what he's reviewing. He reminds me of DSP (Darksydephil), a nearly retarded gamer who doesn't understand the fundamentals of the games he plays.
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>>47447835
Cap 2 was pretty mediocre. The Jewish conspiracy plot was pretty bleh
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>>47447871
I was hoping he mentioned the fact that a fucking Infinity Stone was just chilling on a empty planet in a working force field...like...if the planet was evacuated or whatever...wouldn't someone be like "Hey....should we take the Super-McGuffin? No? Just leave it here for no reason? Oh. Ok."
>>
It seems like he wanted the film to be one thing and when it was not he felt betrayed.
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>>47447894
>No shitty love story
>Cap actually kills people and kicks some ass without any help from super power nonsense
>Good back and forth with Scar Joe
>Predictable plot but handled well
>Not for kids.

how was this mediocre again?
>>
>>47447743
It's not cliched so much as unoriginal. It follows the same plot outline and hits largely the same plot beats as a lot of other action movies. This makes it unoriginal, and it makes it really difficult for me to be engaged in the mechanics of the plot when it's so closely replicating the plot of a million other movies. Not just the macguffin-ness of it, but the staging of the introductions, the conflicts, the successes and the failures and the resolution, etc - the whole procession of it was really tiring and dull. Those moments are just the two that spring most obviously to mind where we're asked to take seriously a really hackeneyed, basic plot beat coming at the most expected, obvious time.

It's not even that it's formulaic. I can stand formulaic. But it doesn't try to do anything interesting or unexpected with the formula. It has the good grace to hang interesting characters, dialogue, and settings around the boring, plodding plot at least, which is its saving grace, but the plot might as well not have been there for all I cared about it.

>>47447723
Distracting the guy via dancing was a funny gag (and again, to reiterate, I think the movie is basically good) but I don't think the friendship thing can be read as a gag of any kind, and dancing thing is just a gag.
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>>47447950
Hail Hydra
>>
>>47447894
Cap2 was easily the best one.
>>
quick question about iron man 3, at the end did the lady who got the super powers end up keeping them or did she get them removed at the end.
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>>47447731
Winter Soldier > Iron Man 1 > GotG > rest

I hope Marvel keeps doing top-notch work, cause they seem to be getting better. DC/Warner Bros. should take a page from Marvel and just stop trying serious shit. Campy Tim Burton Batman was good, why can't we go back to that?
>>
>"Who wrote this garbage?!?!?"
>Says this three fucking times in his review.

I don't think CM can give anyone shit for writing when he can't even write his own reviews well.
>>
>>47447869
2: It wasn't just about his armor. I mean that's part of how it manifested but restaurant scene pretty much shows that his interaction with the worm hole is what caused it to start.

As for the rest of your points I don't really know how to respond when your response is "shane black" and "plot" responses. I mean I guess we can just defend any film from criticism by saying the name of the director and saying "it's a fun ______ movie with ____ flavor." because that's some sort of general trump card?

I mean sucker punch is just a fun Zack Snyder movie, with a comic book flavor.
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>>47447920
It was also behind these massive locked doors. There are plenty of lost and abandoned artifacts in tombs of abandoned civilizations in the wold.
>>
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>>47447686
>Am I the only one that loved the mandarin twist and hated everything else about that movie?
I didn't *hate* everything else about the movie (my opinion on IM3 is generally lukewarm, but it had it's good moments) but I will agree that the mandarin twist was one of the best (and smartest) parts of the film.

Honestly, I'm just glad IM3 wasn't as bad as IM2. Seriously, that film was horseshit.

>One of my friends (who hadn't read any IM comics) left the theatre with me saying he liked the film (IM3)
>MFW the next week he complained to me that the film was shit, because he looked up a bunch of reviews by comic-autists who didn't like the Mandarin twist, and adapted to their opinion
>>
I love CM. People like Critic and RLM pretend to be their overreacting characters on set, while Mathew is a genuine retard. I can't hate people like that, its offensive.
>>
>>47446543

no joke. I'm sincerely considering doing a series of reviews of movie reviewers as a satire/parody of the massive glut of people who think their opinion on pop culture is the shit and their humor is amazing.
>>
>>47448019
>Why can't we go back to campy?

WE'RE IN A WORLD WHERE WWIII IS GONNA HAPPEN! WE NEED 9/11 BUILDING DESTRUCTION. WHITE HOUSE DESTRUCTION! ALIENS! SUPERHEROS! EVERYONE GETTING FUCKING KILLED! THAT'S WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT TO BE FUCKING TERRIFIED! YOU WANT FUN?! ENJOYMENT? FUCK YOU! YOU SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF DEADLY EBOLA!!

I believe that's how Hollywood would respond to that. With a lot more "fucks" though
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>>47448071
>It was also behind these massive locked doors
>>47448071
The ones Quill was able to pick with a bent paperclip in like...5 seconds? Yeah.

Also...who the fuck cares how "big" the doors are? They have FTL and capitol ship weapons. I doubt it would matter.
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>>47446726
I am very very glad I read this rather than giving this person hits.

sage for exactly what sage is meant to be used for.
>>
>>47448116
>WHITE HOUSE DESTRUCTION!
I don't really have a problem with this.
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>>47447985
I read the wiki and spoil the plot for myself. That way, nothing really surprises me, and I can better enjoy the movie without wondering about shit. So a rehashed story doesn't bother me. I frankly don't expect anything new out of hollywood at this point, so I take what I can get. An GotG was fun if unoriginal. Also, if you have kids, I bet it's a good thing to turn on an distract them for a while.
>>
>>47447731
>or legitimately is mentally challenged
seeing as he IS actually autistic, that'd be the case.
>>
>>47448116
The idea that people need to deeply care emotionally about the goals or the protagonists of a film, and that this can only be accomplished through either deeply grim and angsty backstories for the protagonists or super-serious apocalyptic stakes for the plot, is so fucking annoying.
>>
>>47448130
>announcing sage
Reported
>>
>>47448019
>Winter Soldier > Iron Man 1 > GotG > rest
boredom inducing power ranking ?, at least in Iron Man 1 and GotG I felt some thrills
>>
>>47448063
Sucker Punch is pretty girls and CGI. I haven;t seen it, but my brother said it wasn't that good, and it has his waifu from Series of Unfortunate Events.

As for the director thing, it's his thing. 2 buddies who may or may not be cops solve shit (and also guns). I'm thinking he maybe submitted some script, and a higher-up decided to make it into an Iron Man film. It's happened before, and it'll happen again.
>>
Geez this one is nonsensical.

I actually like CM's review of Iron Man 2 since it nails most of the flaws in that film, but at least he paid attention to that one.
>>
>>47448194
I'll say I do street interviews for one of my internships at a local television show. And we had a question of the day segment. And the question was "What is your favorite movie". The majority of the crack/heroin addicts all agreed Transformers was their favorite.

Now either the movie must be fucking amazing while high off your ass. Or. It's so simple enough to follow a crack addict can watch and enjoy it. I'm gonna go with the first suggestion but believe me they knew character names, which robot one, what their favorite scene was. I think Bay might secretly be a genius. Just appeal to the stupid people and drugged out people.
>>
>>47447985
I understand exactly what you're saying, but I think the movie took a plot concept that is generally shoehorned into other movies and made it work well. The whole power of friendship overcoming evil thing never felt shoehorned or cynical to me, it felt like the characters actually had some compassion and had learned to look past their own short-sighted goals that they had held to help save the city. That sounds really corny as I type it out but it felt genuine in the context of the film.

I agree with you about the conflicts/successes thing, though. That felt predictable for the most part, though it wasn't necessarily disappointing. I don't agree about the character introductions - I thought those were handled well.
>>
If he would talk about a Nolan movie and exposition, everyone would be so on his dick.
>>
>>47448311
No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people.
>>
>>47448194
I don't think anybody would claim that the only way a film can make you care about protag and it's goals in a film is by having deeply grim and angsty backstories or super-serious apocalyptic stakes. It's just super easy to emotionally manipulate people with those two. I mean hell the scene where rocket starts breaking down a bit even got to me a little bit in spite of the fact that I knew that it was just cheap and easy manipulation on the films part.
>>
>>47448359

>American

We didn't make Battleship a success.
>>
>>47448323
>>47448176
I don't think we're that far apart b/c as I said I still think it was a fun movie with good characters

I guess I just still hold movies to the standard of not having a plot that's totally ass for some reason. I'm not being sarcastic either, that's probably an unrealistic expectation.
>>
>>47448389
Oh we would've if they just didn't Copy and Paste Transformers. If they just tweaked it a bit Shoots and Ladders would be coming out next Summer.
>>
>>47448371
Rocket's reaction makes perfect sense, though. That wasn't manipulative.
>>
>>47448286
None of what you said does anything regarding what I said about Sucker Punch.

It's just a fun film with blah blah blah.

also I don't care if it's his thing. My points remain valid and you haven't engaged them with anything except with the exception of the "it's just a fun ________ movie with _______ flavor" defense

Like according to the shit you've said they could have hired a gay porn director to write the script for Iron Man 3 and direct it and have it be 2 hours of Tony Stark fucking male prostitutes and nobody could have valid criticisms about it because that's just the directors thing.
>>
>>47448161
I'm mexican-american, and don't mind it either, apart from it being cliche. Why not the UN building? Or congress? Animatrix and maybe Mars Attacks! are the only movies were they show shit apart from the White House being blown up.

>>47448427
You have to understand, though, that it's all rehashes and mosaics (different movie plots put together) from now on (at least for big movies). Nothing else will really make money. I'd like a big-titty'd wide-hipped beauty as a partner, but I'll probably have to settle for a pancake-titty'd flat-assed normie. Enjoy the little things, or you're just gonna turn into a cynical artfag asshole.
>>
>>47448556
>Like according to the shit you've said they could have hired a gay porn director to write the script for Iron Man 3 and direct it and have it be 2 hours of Tony Stark fucking male prostitutes and nobody could have valid criticisms about it because that's just the directors thing.

pls don't post about your fanfic on /tv/
>>
>Edgar Wright is one of the greatest film makers alive.

Looks like I don't need to finish this review
>>
Holy fucking shit I can't stand this guy's voice. Ugh.
>>
>>47448352
TDK is one of his favorite movies of all time
>>
>>47448604
I do enjoy the little things. I was overall positive on GotG. I'd probably give it like a 6 or 7 out of 10. But I think there's a place for pointing out the parts that are bad as well. Even if it's entirely quixotic.
>>
>>47446844


He is going to turn out to be somebody's dad
>>
>>47448465
It makes sense but it's a deeply grim and angsty back story that was an incredibly easy way to get the audience to get behind him 100% in the film.

I'm sure it stays true to his back story in the comics and all that but it doesn't change it from using an extremely easy method to manipulate the consumer to care more about his character. The main problem with this isn't even manipulation. Story telling for the most part is just manipulation. This is just something that's easy to see for what it is and is incredibly easy to pull off. That's the problem. It's like the premise of the movie Doom was that there's a gene for evil inside of people. The problem with that isn't that it doesn't make sense in that universe because it does with what they've set up. The problem with it is that it's just a lazy way to force things to go the way the writer wants instead of thinking up something a bit more creative.
>>
>>47448606
Well according to one anon if I did nobody could criticize it if it's just my thing.
>>
>>47446497
wow, one of the worst movie reviews I've ever seen and I hate capeshit.
>>
>>47448735
Are you confused?
>>
>>47446497
Best reviewer and /tv/ wont acknowledge it.
>>
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>>47448019
people who prefer campy fun superheroes movies are either young teens or adults who read a lot of comics books. Majority of general audience who go to the cinema to watch a superhero movie once tend to prefer muh grim dark angst realism, it has always been like this
>pic semi related, what I want to be made into a blockbuster
>>
>>47448914
No.
>>
>>47447383
>doesn't like simba because he is self-centred and rude
HE IS A CHILD IT IS A COMING OF AGE STORY YOU FUCK
>>
>>47448735
ehhhhhh that kinda sounds like bullshit to me. You're essentially saying that anytime a character has a sad backstory that's manipulative? I understand what you mean broadly, but there's a big difference between a poorly-written character having a tragic backstory and a well-written character with a tragic backstory. And in this case, the backstory makes sense and doesn't feel forced. Sometimes it's okay to have an emotional reaction to a film.
>>
For people talking about a stupid plot, most films that aren't "muh srs drama" have a stupid plot. Hell, a lot of great films have stupid plots. It is like literature with prose being more important at times than plot, in film the way it is put together can be way more important than plot.
>>
>>47446665
Watch it.
>>
>>47446497
>expecting me to sit through some internet dipshit's 18 minute review

Are you fucking serious?
>>
>>47448932
All the normies I know don't like The Dark Knight cause it was serious, but rather cause it was somewhat realistic and the Joker was coo[l]. They also like the Marvel movies, cause they have coo[l] characters and are fun. They disliked IM3 though, cause they a) didn't get it or b) too little suit action.
>>
Jesus Christ this was the worst review of anything I've ever sat through. Every single one of his points is either flat out wrong or just complaining the movie isn't something else.

His comments about the MCU are also fucking stupid. If he thinks that is going badly I would love to hear what he has to say about DC.
>>
>>47446497
Matthew is an idiot. The good news is that I now know not to watch any more of his reviews.
>>
I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect but I think Confused Matthew legitimately has autism or asperger's. He doesn't seem to understand or comprehend basic information and ideas like the rest of us interpret with ease.
>>
but
>>47447298
>>
I think the title of his review show is spot on, unfortunately for him and us.
I would much rather watch "Mathew Understands".
>>
>>47449121
He complains about many things that just aren't true or are explained in the movie. "Why didn't Yondu go onto the ship and kill Ronan?" He was on the way and was shot down. "The military brought the ship down." No they didn't, the chief cause of the crash was Rocket ramming the docking bay.

Did he even WATCH the movie before reviewing it?
>>
>>47448965
I know what mean but yeah basically. Story telling as a whole is very much about manipulating the consumer of the story into reacting how you want them to. That said I want to restate that I don't think manipulation itself is a problem or even a bad thing in the context of story telling. The problem here is that there are just some ways that are easier than others to get the consumer to where you want them to be. This still isn't that much of a problem in my opinion. It's just easier to realize that you're purposely being manipulated in an easy way by the writer when they do something like this then when they use other more subtle methods to make you empathize with a character.

I mean the guy I was initially responding to was the one bitching about it like it was some horrible thing and I was just pointing out that it's just very effective so you're naturally going to see it a lot. I mean like I said Rockets back story got me emotionally invested in spite of me consciously knowing about it. And i'd go as far as to say that the problem isn't that writers use it. It's that not enough writers don't use it. Which is fundamentally different.
>>
>>47449290
>I know what you*** mean but yeah basically.
>>
>>47446497
He sounds autistic as fuck.
>>
>>47449288
I don't know why but the complaint that bugs me the most is him claiming Quill should be more of a fish out of water.

HE FUCKING GREW UP IN SPACE SURROUNDED BY ALIENS YOU FUCKING MORON, HE HAS SPENT MORE TIME OFF EARTH THAN ON IT. WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS A GOOD IDEA?
>>
>>47446599
one of us .. one of us
>>
>>47446543
I love that we have so many review personalities running around today. Sure, a lot of them can be stupid, but just don't watch the stupid ones...
>>
>>47447002
also a recovered pain-pill addict (stated in the Fear & Loathing review)
>>
>>47447846
This. I'm glad I skipped to that point rather than waste a few minutes of my life listening to such drivel.
>>
>>47449064

This. I was generous enough to agree to seeing a video, but this shit is too much.

That's like 15% of the film's running time to explain how bad it is? Fuck that.
>>
>>47449455
So, don't watch any of them.
They're internet personalities for a reason.
>>
>>47449435
That complaint amounted to "I would have made the movie differently." Well you didn't make it, jackass. Your job is to review the movie they made, not your headcanon version.
>>
>>47446497
>letting other people shape your opinion
>letting retard assburgers matthew shape your opinion

You don't deserve a brain.
>>
>>47449435
That's the criticism that really shows that he's reaching for shit to bitch about. The fish out of water is a cliche method to convey information to the audience about the world they are engaging with. It's like the laziest method to avoid exposition to the point that i'd rather just have exposition spouted throughout the film.

It's kind of funny because one of his biggest criticisms about marvel is that they aren't interested in doing anything new while his biggest problem with the film is that they don't use one of the most overused character types in story telling.
>>
>>47446497
who dose this try-hard think he is Spoony?
>>
>>47449836
He's been around about as long as spooony.
>>
>>47449836
>try hard wanting to be Spoony
What a sad life he must have.
>>
>>47446497
Wow this guy really wants to get fucked by Edgar Wright doesn't he?
>>
>Marvel is so shitty for establishing the MCU as a consistent and connected universe that does all of its characters justice and is working toward telling long running interconnected stories how could anyone like them
>Man DC is doing so great though with their movies all being complete incoherent messes trying so hard to be Nolan Batman no matter how little it fits the character
>>
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>>47446497
>OMG OMG OMG SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP!
this guy really is autistic
>>
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>>47446673
>Read comment
>''He can't be that bad''
>Proceed to watch video
How could I be so wrong?
>>
>>47446497
I guess you're swayed quite easily OP

I watched the video and all I heard was some guy bitching. I had a counter point for most of his whining.
Don't let him change your mind just because he has a different opinion than most.
>>
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>confusedmatthew

People will respond seriously.

He didn't understand a Marvel movie. Again. Let that sink in. Again.

I'd rather read an Armond or Debbie review. At least those are fun.
>>
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Every time you watch or read another retard's movie review Professor Xavier punches the Star-Lord with a keyboard.
>>
I can't count the amount of times he says "Where is the fun", since when the fuck did any of the trailers announce that this movie is going to be fun , why is he so hell bent on having fun, who the fuck promised him fun.
>>
>>47450654
He would've gave this film a 10/10 if it stated "this film is serious, not about fun." Maybe at that point he would stop looking for fun and take it more seriously.

What a fuckwit. And fuck you OP for introducing me to this fuck
>>
>hates the lion king
>loves frozen

Wait. So he's actually autistic, right?
>>
>>47448003
removed I believe
>>
>>47448930
Get out of here Matt
>>
>>47447383
>>47447383

>1 minute in
>my anus is already in a state of significant disrepair
>>
>>47449204
>autism or asperger
fuck you men, don't compare us to this retard
>>
I haven't seen GotG but he's certainly nailed the other Marvel movies.
>>
>>47450570
only because Starlord banged his gf
repeatedly
>>
>He thought Quill was going to be a fish-out-of-water character.
Is he retarded or did he just not watch the trailer at all?
>>
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>ConfusedMatthew STILL attempting to shill after being blown the fuck out by RLM with the prequel reviews
>retards STILL giving him views
>>
>>47451240
The trailer doesn't really show him as anything other than an obnoxious American in space.

Dude's right, he could totally have been any other race. Also the literal thing.

And Thanos, so stupid.
>>
>>47446497
>Confused Mathew
Oh right, that guy who thinks Space 2001 and Lion King were shit.
>>
>>47446924
Lol I had a few drinks during this movie and I had no problem "thinking about" characters backstories. This guy must be not even autistic, but just fucking stupid
>>
>>47451240
He wanted a fish out of water character. After all 20 years aboard a ship of pirates interacting with who knows what and doing shit I can't begin to imagine all over the galaxy would certainly produce someone who wouldn't know anything.

The guy is a bit naive.
>>
>>47446497
>thanos
>subcharacter

hahahahahahahahahaha
>>
>it happened over the course of TWO DAAAAYYYYYSSSSS

Pretty sure they don't have FTL travel in their ship, so I think we're meant to understand that all of their trips took some time

The general impression I'm getting is that this guy doesn't know a goddamned thing about the story and apparently had an entirely different idea of where the movie would go, and because the movie didn't fit his ideas he's really upset
wow
>>
>upset about her taking "sticks up their butts" literally when that's Drax's character trait
>What is this garbage?

Didn't he just complain that he doesn't think the movie shows Quill's human culture being foreign to aliens enough?
Because that's what that scene was - it wasn't her taking a slang phrase literally, it was him using a slang phrase that is foreign to her and her not understanding
>>
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>There are people in this thread giving this worthless fuck hits
What next, Razorfist?
>>
>>47446891
Well to be fair, 2001 does suck a fucking cock.
>>
>>47451915
I like Razorfist better than CM. His style of videomaking is far better suited to the videos he makes.
>>
>/tv/ actually talks about CM
I'm honestly happy that he's at least being talked about.
>>
>>47452242
Why? Do you want more people to hate the dumb autistic cunt? Because after seeing his idiotic rant Im sure Im deliberately ignore anything remotely related to him.
>>
>>47446497
>ctrl+F pastebin
>no results
Really, /tv/?
>>
>>47452369
What pastebin were you looking for?
>>
Why do people not know what a MacGuffin is?

Classic example: The briefcase from Pulp Fiction. It doesn't do anything. It doesn't matter what's in it. It's purely and simply a thing that people want and them wanting it causes the plot to happen.

It's not a MacGuffin if it actually does something.

I feel like this is just people enamored of a term they heard once.
>>
>try watching OP
>first three minutes are him bitching about Marvel and Edgar Wright

Okay, that's a big warning sign.
>>
>>47447156
Who cares what the plot is, as long as the characters are interesting.
>>
>>47447199
How does the plot suck?
>>
>>47447240
How does it have a garbage plot
>>
>>47447412
What you are describing isn't the plot. Plots are usually really simple, because they are supposed to be so that the characters can develope. Take any movie you think is great and I can sum up the plot to those movies in a single sentence. If you think the plot is bad because it's overused or cliche, than it's not a valid criticism. A film should be judged on its own merit, not what other movies have done. It's not this film's fault you have seen too many movies with a similar plot
>>
literally autistic
>>
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>>47452434
Marvel is shit. I just don't get why he acts like it's any different from any other production studio.
Artistic vision doesn't exist anymore, movies are just cynical products to entertain plebs. Movies are dead. Avengers was really fucking shit movie.
His pre-rant is pretty accurate. But then, after he has complained that Marvel-films insult his intellect he starts ranting about how the movie takes itself seriously (not TOO seriously, just seriously) and has drama and characters with weight. /v/ being my main, it reminds me quite a lot of these things we have called Nintendofags. I believe /tv/ is familiar with these degenerates through RLM.
>>
>>47452658
I don't really care if he bitches about Marvel - I'm just trying to grasp why he's spending so much time on it in a GotG review. Combine that with his grinding voice and he totally lost me.
>>
>>47452695
Probably because he was actually excited to see this one? I think it let him down more than the others have.
>>
>>47446497
People overanalyizing movies again and telling people that it's shite because of their own inability to grasp things on a more immersive level? What a surprise.
>>
>the guy controlling his arrow by whistling was not funny
all his criticism is just him thinking he could have made a better movie because some elements were different from what he would expect
>>
>>47452584
You have it backwards my friend:
http://cinemoose.com/plot-vs-story/

If anything GoTG is a great example of a film that does a good job of emphasizing story over plot
>>
>>47452369
>Pastebin a video

Look at this tryhard idiot
>>
>>47452767

>it's a fun popcorn flick, turn your brain off nerd lmao
>>
>>47452833
Pretty much. Also, does this fucker have buckteeth? Every time he says a word with an "s" in it I couldn't help but cringe.
>>
>>47452921
>Also, does this fucker have buckteeth?
No
>>
SMH at people taking Confused Matthew seriously.
>>
>>47452935
So just autism then?
>>
>>47452920
It's not about "turning your brain off", it's the fact that somebody took the time to analyze every single aspect of a film only to criticize every thing that he perceived to be a flaw and go on and on about how he could have made a better film all the while lambasting the creators for minute mistakes. It's as autistic as you can get, and I'm autistic.
>>
>>47452952
No. He's Bi-polar. That's all he's ever stated he is. Despite the claims of people here, he doesn't act like someone with actual autism.
>>
>>47452952
Well he is an internet reviewer. I'm pretty sure that is required.
>>
>>47447240
>Thanatos
>>
>>47446497
I think he made some pretty valid points, but I liked the film and don't agree with his assessment on a whole.
>>
>>47446750
Thats what hes upset about
He didn't want him to be in space for 20 years
>>
>>47448311
Of course Bay is a fucking genius. Only retards think he isn't. He doesn't want to make good movies. He wants to make succesful movies.

And I don't think he sheds a single tear that he didn't create this generations Citizen Kane when his movies perform fantastically at the box office.
>>
>>47453337
Yeah, he even says that he makes movies for teenage boys to go and spend money to see and that he's not upset that people criticize him. I mean, fuck, his movies are trash, but people who think that he's suffering because Ebert and Roeper weren't sucking his dick are crazy.
>>
>>47448621
This
So much this
>>
>>47451540
Naive-nothing.

The trailers made it clear Quill was not a stranger in that part of the galaxy.
>>
>>47446497
Wow...just wow. I couldn't even make it 3 mins in. Is he literally retarded? He has to be right? Someone please tell me that he has a legitimate mental disorder.
>>
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>mfw I haven't seen a legitimate argument against any of his points ITT
>>
>>47451278
>blown the fuck out by RLM with the prequel reviews

What?
>>
>>47453864
You must be more retarded than he is
>>
>>47453886
CM made a superior set of prequel reviews that explained how shitty the movies were without being longer than the movies themselves.
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