I ate a ridiculous amount of space cake in Malawi because I'd never had it before and the dude I bought it from spoke terrible English. It was fun at first, then I was trying to stop my heart exploding through my chest, then I was trying to keep myself in my body, then I became colours in a void and then I blacked out. Woke up the next day basically brain damaged, I could only shuffle around in slow motion and sleep all day, it was probably 3 days before I was right again. Good times.
>be me >never taken any drugs ever >go to Tangier, buy 10g of hash because why the heck not >(actually I dunno how much I got. Two chunks about the size of oxo cubes for $20) >buy sweet pipe from the souq, now I'm ready to go full-on Carlos Castaneda in the wilderness >couple weeks later, hiking in the mountains >still haven't had the guts to smoke >pitch camp in a ravine by a river, begin slicing some chorizo to fry up for dinner >sunset is pretty, frogs are singing, figure it's a good time to blaze it >I cough up a lung of course, it being my first time smoking anything, but I manage to choke my way through half of one of the oxo cubes >feeling nothing, go to gather firewood to cook dinner >walk around forest snapping off sticks, suddenly I hear a snap behind me accompanied by grunting and heavy breathing >I stop, the grunting stops >I start walking again, the snapping and snuffling starts >nobody in sight, I'm miles from any village >ditch my firewood, run up to the top of the ravine for a better view >strung out along the bank of the river is a whole family of pigs, three or four adults and roughly a million piglets >I'm lying belly down on a rock swearing to myself. I've dealt with these fuckers before in other countries >figures that the one type of animal the local Muslims refuse to kill and eat is the one type that has the power to ruin my night >to make it all worse the frogs have stopped singing and have started talking >the shit they're saying doesn't even make sense. Bloody deafening too >only words I remember are some of the lyrics to Madonna's song 'Vogue' >I run back down the escarpment to check on my camp Cont'd
>>1069686 That was a great show, I wish they kept making more episodes. I'm into Border Security these days which is very on point in this thread. People are so stupid thinking they can smuggle drugs so easily.
>>1069772 Writing this on my phone and entire second half just got erased, not gonna bother writing it again. Tl;Dr I fought pigs, climbed a tree, lot a fire and had the worst night of my life. Threw all remaining hash into the bushes the following morning.
>first night in marocco, arrived by boat in Tangiers >some shit happen but finish in a cosy hostel run by an old illiterate guy >he ask if I want to smoke >I was a huge weed smoker at this time and used to quality swiss weed >roll it myself and put a good dose >guy starts tripping soon after while I tell him about my country, he was 70+ and never left the town >says he needs to go to bed now
>8 days after in Casablanca >want to buy some hasch but people are really shady >ask some huge german dude at my hostel if he can come with me just to take a look >I helped him the day before so he agrees >find a dealer but he looked like he had brain issues >makes us wait 30 minutes >brings some ugly shit cut with sand or god knows what >ask for a ridiculous price (like 30€/gram) >kinda stuck in the most shady place with tons of his friends nearby >manage to lower the price and buy only 1g, still a scam >throw it right away >german dude laughs at me and tell everyone at the hostel
>buy around 5g of quality shit for my trip back in the boat >spend 3 days (Tangiers - Genova) smoking and reading >keep just for a last join in my bag >I get off the boat and there is Italian police >dog jumps on me >can't find it so have to empty my bag >full of math and philosophy books >police finds it and realise I'm just a dumb swiss >throw it away and let me go >black man that was walking near me just before the dog jumped was waiting for me and couldn't believe they just let me leave
haven't posted my close shave here for at least two years:
was in guatemala and bought about two ounces of weed for $25 after giving the guy the money and having no idea how much I was going to get. didn't want to chuck it before travelling overland into mexico. was crossing the border in a boat so I thought everything would be cool. I just had it in the pocket of my shorts.
no customs checks at all and the 8 or so of us got in a minvian on mexican side and set off. after after about two minutes we got pulled over by army guys who searched the whole bus meticulously for about 20 minutes. just as they finished and people started getting back on I was smoking a cigarette and chucked it so I could do the same. army guy put a hand on my shoulder as I had one foot in the bus and I internally shit my pants and started thinking about how much I would have to bribe them to get out of this jam or if I would end up in jail.
army guy simply demanded that I pick up the cigarette butt and put it in the trash, which I did cool as a cucumber. bus departed. bad fucking idea.
>>1069538 >brazil backing for a while... >saw a group of rastafaris selling bracelets and stuff >walk there, they tried to sell shit notice quickly im not intrested >next day seem them chilling again, buy a cheap whine and sit down next to them >they playing music and start rolling a joint >I offer a sip of whine, they accept giving me a toke >later decide to buy some weed but they were out so we decided to meet there next day >next day I am there they give me the weed >ask if its dangerous he laughs and say no man no police >roll a joint and light it... 30 take one toke and there they are >suv full with sunglassed shotgun wielding militair police dudes. >I put out the join before they get out and stay frozen looking at the ground not saying anything. >they walk up to us I put the join in my pocket so they wouldnt find it on the ground >if they noticed my accent I would be in big shit (extortion while I was broke..) >the police asks if everything good >the rastafari says yah man >police BTFO >light the join when they are gone and happy shit went smooth...
...in granada in nicaragua. bought maybe an ounce of weed off a shady little dealer guy. seemed like a nice guy. had a few beers with him. he knew where I was from etc. the weed was all in little 2/3g wraps - maybe 15 of them.
at about 3am that night I was in bed in guesthouse and was woken by someone shouting. it appeared to be a cop inside the building who was shouting something in bad english like 'open up london, where are you?' and banging on doors. I shit myself and immediately realised that the dealer had sold me out - and realised that if I got caught I would be in even deeper shit because I had 15 bags all wrapped up. they could have fucked me as a dealer. I silently opened them all and put them in one bag then sat in fear for about half an hour until he finally went away.
I guess the dealer followed me back to hotel then tipped off the cops, but didn't they didn't know what room I was in.
quit weed/all drugs about 5 years ago. fuck that shit. I get much more pussy now. mexican motherfuckers threw me out of palenque for smoking a j on that trip too. only been in there for about 20 minutes and he wouldn't accept $50.
>>1069538 I lived in a smaller Thai city for a number of years. For part of this time, my next-door neighbor was head of the narcotics division for the provincial cops. >Sitting on my balcony >Loud, loud music next door >SCREAMING argument >Uniformed, ferociously drunk, probably also chemically intoxicated cop walks into street and shoots his parked cop car full of bullets. >Recall that Thai narco cops typically keep the weed and speed they seize--silly me thought they just resold it >Steer clear of partying cops for the duration of my time in the Kingdom I don't use drugs anymore, but did sometimes when I lived in SEA. It was a considerable risk, because the police are probably the most dangerous people in Thailand. Trafficking, smuggling, drugs--major sources of unofficial revenue. They're scarier than the gangsters (a few of whom I also met; they throw fun parties and are hard to distinguish from conventional provincial businessmen), in part because they can kill you with impunity. Most wouldn't. But some would. And I guarantee you won't be able to tell which is which.
I was in a Budapest outskirt when I bought some weed from a guy. His girlfriend told me to go away from there asap as she kept repeating "bandita".
I think the weed was laced with cocaine. The following day my jaw was numb and I got on a bus with an expired ticket. Imagine the driver going up to a foreigner with green pants, a purple k-way and black hat and asking the guy if he speaks English. I wanted to say I could but physically I couldn't. He then proceeds to see the ticket is valid. It isn't, but he still leaves me there (I had a huge backpack as well). I am in front of the seats reserved for old people and some of them refuse with disgust to sit there.
How it ended? Munchies at some Chinese place near a train station then hitch-hiked with a band to Austria. Ended up smoking real weed as they wanted to finish it before crossing the border. Downside of the travel was having my ear next to a broken window and being on the highway for 2 hours.
>>1070305 That's where im from... I would say anywhere from 60-100 per g is fair... If u have a contact already, youre set. Just be careful and dont do it in public. There are literally plainclothes stasi and patrols all over manhattan.
>>1070621 >>1070622 Some kind of stripper joke? Afraid I don't get it. But if you're interested in getting fucked up in Southeast Asia, know that the police are not a joke and not harmless, despite (and sometimes because of) the fact that they can generally be bribed.
In Christiania there's a no hard drugs policy, but coke isn't hard to find if you know who to ask. You can smoke weed infront of the cops no problems there. If you wanna bang whores I recommend you do coke and tell her to try and make you hard.
Portugal has alot of nice fine shit. the hashish is epic and the coke is pure as fuck. But be ready for some good fights on the streets since the gangs over there enjoys fighting with tourists on drugs. If you play your cards right you'll have a ton of fun. Best trip I ever took!
India has weed growing everywhere. It's still illeagal to smoke weed in public and since there are millions of people, you never know how they'll react. So just chill in some pooltable bar and smoke. I went up to the Himalayas and smoked some amazing weed. Imagine seeing kanchenjunga up close while relaxing on some weed. Good times
>first time in Amsterdam >only have 2 days >arrive late on day 1 just as the headshops were closing >always wanted to try psychedelics >didn't have time to make a selection, so I ask the shop keeper to give me the strongest truffle available: 15g dragons dynamite >decide to save it for the next day because i don't want to be fucked up at night on sketchy looking streets >have a joint and space cake with friends before heading back to the hostel >get back and just feel really tired/groggy/glued to a bench when I get back, was expecting to be really high >wake up the next day and think "maybe amsterdam is just a scam and the stuff here is just weak shit" >decide to eat the whole 15g of truffles because i thought it probably wouldn't be that great anyway >20 minutes later, colors became vibrant, was hugging a lamppost, and wandering through the markets with my tour group >everybody suddenly looked like people from the simpsons >not sure if i needed to pee, so stood in line at a McDonald's restroom, and just started giggling because i wasn't sure how long i had been in line >decide that i didn't need to pee and left to join the group >one girl with blonde hair looked like an angel as her face was glowing, another girl looked like a hobbit >head off to a coffee shop with some others >order a ham and cheese sandwich and a joint >take one bite and decide i've had enough because the sandwich was breathing through its 'pores' >have the best idea in the world: take a piece of the sandwich home as a souvenir from amsterdam >somehow manage to end up back at the hostel, and everyone there seems high as fuck, running around the corridors and laughing >sit down by a table and contemplate existence >who am i? where did i come from? why am i here in amsterdam? how do i go back? will i go back to my country? what is family, what are friends, are we all one? >coming down now >have farewell dinner with group >find sandwich in my pocket and laugh at my idea >feed sandwich to ducks
>>1070760 >being this much of an anal Reagan fanboy I bet you believed every single GI Joe and Ninja Turtles degenerate warning when you were a kid, huh?
Lab-produced synth recreational drugs are often a bad idea, but if it comes from a plant, you just have to know your limits. Humans have been using drugs for tens of thousands of years. A total newb smoking a few grams of Moroccan hash, pure, is pretty fucking first class stupid. Sounds like it wasn't very high quality though, or OP would have been glued to his sleeping bag and not thinking about frogs and pigs.
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